Vayakhel: Anger on Shabbos

It's amazing how there are some things that get into your brain, that are impossible to get out.

Everybody had the day off on Sunday, because … you know … two cities in the country were celebrating Purim … so … everybody else gets off as well.

Being that all the kids were at home, I took the oldest crop out on a beautiful hike in Nachal Tavor.  On the way there, we passed a sign pointing to "En Dor."  My kids could not understand why I got so excited that I had to take a photo of it, explaining to them, that once we find Endor's moon, we'll find the second Death Star!  Of course, that explanation (which was very clear to me) received strange looks from my children who have no idea what a "Death Star" is nor what a moon has to do with a place called "En Dor."

I sometimes feel that we live in two separate worlds (thankfully).

Okay, on to Torah!

Everybody who is anybody learns the Zohar at 2 a.m. with Eliyahu HaNavi.  And everybody who is anybody knows the famous Zohar concerning this pasuk:

"You shall not light a fire in all your dwellings on Shabbos" (Shemos 35: 3).

However, I know that most people are not on such a high spiritual level as myself, so I'll be happy to explain it to you … via Rav Pinkus ….

It does not take a psychologist or a spiritual guru to tell you that anger is a bad thing and a person should not give into it.  In fact, the Gemara compares a person who gives into his anger to a person who worships idols.

However, there are times that a person needs to SHOW anger to others in order that they learn from their mistakes.  For example, a teacher to students, a parent to child, and a wife to husband.  Again (I hope you are listening, wives), we're talking about SHOWING anger, not actually getting angry.

The Gemara (Nedarim 22a) adds a new view on giving into anger.  It says that when a person is angry, it's a sign from Heaven that his sins currently outweigh his merits.

What does that mean?  It means that in general, we must always look as ourselves as "in the balance," that we have equal amount of merit and equal amount of sin.  And whatever action we do next, could tip the balance either way.  Not only is this a good mental trick to help keep your yetzer horah in line, but it's really quite true.  Only Hashem can judge a person.  Not even a person can judge himself.  Therefore, we really have no idea on how we are holding.

Yet, when we give into anger, it is a sign that our sins outweigh our merits.  Nothing to do with anger itself, per se, but it's a sign that our life in general, is running a spiritual debt.

So, when one gets angry, he not only needs to deal with the sin of anger, but it's a sign that he has other sins (not necessarily connected to anger) which need correction soon.

Pretty heavy, no?

Now, we come back to our pasuk (not really related to what which just learned).

The Zohar teaches us that this "fire" is not just fire that we use in this world, but it's also a hint to the fire of anger.  Clearly, since getting angry is in itself not allowed, what type of anger is this pasuk talking about?  Simple.  Even the SHOW of anger, on Shabbos is not allowed.

So, if your husband does something thoughtless (once again), during the week, it might be allowed to show anger at him in the hope that his pea-sized brain might actually and finally learn the lesson (don't put whites in the darks laundry pile); on Shabbos, though, it's completely forbidden.

Let us not forget: Shabbos is a time of rest and enjoyment.  Even your students, children, and husbands, have that right, and by your showing your anger, you are taking away that right and ruining their Shabbos.

With that, I wish you all a wonderfully, happy, Shabbos!