"It shall happen, when he hears the words of this curse, that he will bless himself in his heart, saying, 'I shall have peace, though I walk in the stubbornness of my heart, to destroy the moist with the dry.' Hashem will not pardon him, but then the anger of Hashem and his jealousy will smoke against that man, and all the curse that is written in this book shall lie on him, and Hashem will blot out his name from under the sky" (Devarim 29: 18).
This pasuk seems to be describing an individual, who after hearing about all the curses that will befall him if he does not follow the Torah, continues to not show any interest in changing his ways. And the result? Well, it seems to be quite harsh. Harsher than the punishment regarding somebody who "simply" sins. Why? Because, when a person sins, he can honestly say, "I really want to keep the Torah and I really want to have a relationship with Hashem, but I'm having a hard time with it." There's a very big difference between that person and a person who simply doesn't care.
Unfortunately, many of us fall into this category during this time of year. Let's be honest. It's a difficult time. Not only do we have the regular stresses in life, such as making a living, raising a family, etc., we now have selichos, which takes away even more of what little sleep we may be getting. We then have to try to think about teshuva, often getting depressed because we can't, and then the actual holidays themselves. Davening is much longer. There are two fasts in a one-week period. We still have to prepare meals for each Yom Tov, kids are home early, etc.
For many, well, we just want to get through it.
While this attitude is certainly understandable, it could be dangerous. After all, the entire new year is being decided, and we have no idea if we have a part in it, and if so, what role will we have? And to go into such an important time with little feelings or thought, well, we don't want to end up being the guys thinking, "Don't worry, I shall have peace…."
So, how do we deal with this?
Honestly, I don't know. However, I saw something from Rav Pincus (of course) to give us some hope.
We know that at the time of the blowing of the Shofar, Hashem moves from the "Throne of Judgement" to the "Throne of Mercy." Not only that, but as the sounds of the Shofar go up, they "confuse" the "prosecuting attorney."
This is comparable to a boy who came home from school to an irate father. A few minutes before, the father received a call from the boy's teacher who went into great detail about how the boy misbehaved throughout the day. The second the boy walked through the door his father gave it to him, listing his punishments, and sending him to his room. As the boy slammed the door shut behind him, his finger got caught, and he let out a piercing scream. His parents immediately ran to see what happened, and rushed him to the emergency room, where his finger was sewn up and splinted. When they finally arrived home, he was treated with ice-cream and gifts, and whatever happened beforehand was completely forgotten.
This is Rosh Hashanah.
For some people, they can express themselves well, using the davening of Rosh Hashanah to speak to Hashem. But for many of us… well, it's difficult. We have so much on our minds, we are exhausted physically, mentally, and spiritually. While we daven, we try our best to concentrate, but still, something is missing.
However, we have a special mitzvah with the Shofar. And from the mitzvah, we learn that simply crying out to Hashem, even without words, can completely change our situation. And instead of leaving Rosh Hashanah feeling empty, we can end up leaving with many more gifts in our hands than we thought possible.
With this, I wish you all a wonderful Shabbos, and a successful and meaningful Rosh Hashanah.