A very strange realization hit me this week.
A friend of ours went to Australia for a few weeks with his family to visit his not-so-well mother who he hasn't seen in several years. Since his 18-year-old son is learning in yeshiva in Yerushaliyim, he shut down everything, including turning off the water, while they were gone. When his son came home to collect some things, he turned the water on and shortly after found that his home was flooding. He turned it back off, cleaned things up, and contacted his father. His father then contacted me, explained the situation, and said that he would really like an adult to check on things, since he fears it was the boiler.
Did you catch that?
Yeah … he wanted an adult, so he called ME. As if I were an adult or something. I'm only 48!
It was a really strange feeling being called such a word.
Either way, it was good he called me. Using my adult eyes, I checked out the boiler (it was fine) and ran my adult hands along the rubber hoses, found the hole, and using my adult experience in life, took a really good guess on the cause of the hole from the size, texture, and location. Went home, picked up the appropriate tools and the next morning I went to check the results: the rat was safely caught in the trap!
"Adult"? … please….
This week's parsha is always a tough parsha for professional Dvar Torah writers. Most of it contains lineages, and census reports. Not exactly the most spiritual topics for those of you not well versed in Kabbalah. However, there is one interesting point that concerns us. The Torah not only goes over each tribe, but also explains where each tribe camped in comparison to the others.
Rabbi Moshe Chalkowski (whom my wife wrote about two weeks ago) once made an interesting note about this.
When the Torah was given, the entire nation of Israel stood in unison to receive it. And how were they positioned?
It's a very … excuse me, but … it's a very American thing to believe that in order to have true peace, everybody must live together and learn to get along and love each other and accept each other, hand out flowers, give hugs, and other hippy-like things.
But, from the point the Torah was given, and onwards, that was not how the nation was stationed. Rather, each tribe lived amongst themselves together. Every Reuvenite lived within the tribe of Reuven. Every Yehudaite lived within the tribe of Yehudah. And then each tribe fit together and lived together with each other.
On this, Rav Chalkowski said, we learn how the Jewish people can attain true Shalom. We don't need to mix and mingle different types. That only (and naturally) leads to strife. Rather, each person lived with those who were of similar "build," and at the same time, was able to acknowledge that there are those out there who have different, and legitimate builds (assuming that they are legitimate).
In general, you find a certain group of Chassidim within their own community. And the next block over, another group of Chassidim. And the next block over, Lithuanians. The next block, Sphardim. They all daven in separate places, send their children to separate schools, and their social circles are kept with those who are part of their "camp." Some would look at this and say that there is no shalom between them. But that's not true! They each live with those with whom they share so much in common, and therefore less likely to have friction between them, and at the same time, they have no problem with those in other camps.
I noticed the other day, after ripping into a Sphardi in the kollel for his Sphardiness, that I've become an open racist since moving here. It's quite normal actually. Sphardim making fun of Ashkanazim, Ashkanazim making fun on Sphardim, different groups of Sphardim making fun of each other … It's street talk and it's all harmless. But why does it happen? It's because of this peace that we can have. I wouldn't tease a Sphardi to his face for having to wake up extra early for the month of Elul, when I don't have to, if I didn't respect him. And he wouldn't make fun of my lack of food choices over Pesach, if he didn't respect me.
It's because each group has their own community and bond that strengthens them. And when they interact with others, they can joke about the differences, because each one is comfortable with themselves and do not feel threatened or insulted by the other.
Another example. I've learned that I cannot do business with Jews that come from a certain country (unless they have been personally recommended to me). I just can't. They have a style which is so different than mine, that I know that if I do business with them, I'm going to not only regret it, but have not-so-nice feelings for them. Yet, at the same time, I'm able to have a personal relationship with them. Again, I understand we are different with different ways of doing things, which are not so compatible. So, based on that, in order to keep the peace, I don't work with them, and because of that, I keep my relationship with them.
To have proper peace, we need not all live together in close quarters and learn to be accepting of each other. We can still live, each one in his own camp, but within that, we must be accepting of others who follow the Torah in different ways.
With that, I wish you all a wonderful Shabbos!