Vayigash

"I will go down with you to Egypt, and I will also bring you up" (Bereishis 46:4).

The Kedushas Levi notes that the word "bring you up" is doubled when written in the Torah, being it's written twice in Hebrew.  He explains the reasoning as follows:

When a student is not so bright, his teacher needs to condense his teachings in a way the student will grasp the material.  When the student is bright however, the teacher has no need to.

When Yaakov was living in Eretz Yisroel, he had the ability to grasp things easily.  His service to Hashem was clear.  However, he was afraid that by living in Egypt, with all the surrounding impurities, his ability to serve Hashem will dimmish greatly.  In response to this, Hashem promises him that He will "go down" with Yaakov.  Being that Hashem will "condense" his teachings, so Yaakov will be able to understand.  When Yaakov (technically, his children) will eventually return to Eretz Yisroel, both he and Hashem (hence the double language) will return to the higher level of service.  Yaakov will be on a higher level to understand, and Hashem will also "teach" on a higher level for Yaakov to understand.

From here, I believe, we learn an important lesson that can be applied to our everyday lives.

There are times, where life gets hectic.  It could be for good things, children being born, weddings to plan, etc. and it could be for not-so-good things.  Either way, life is constantly throwing curveballs at us.  And when such curveballs are thrown, it's very easy to get depressed about one's spiritual life because as you are dealing with the curveball, you have no time to focus on the spiritual.

For example, let's take some guy working an eight-hour day, and going to learn gemara every night for two hours.  Life is good.  Then something happens.  I don't know … something big happens at work where he needs to spend a bit more time, and his daughter gets engaged.  Now he's dealing with two big things, which take his time away.  Now, for a month's time, he simply cannot make it to go learn.  It gets easy to get depressed about this.  He's so busy with "this world," he cannot put his focus on "that world."

So, it's good to be prepared.  In cases like this, he needs to understand that gemara is perhaps out of the question for now.  He doesn't have the time or the headspace.  However, mishnayos are smaller and easier "to digest" during such turbulent times.  Perhaps putting focus there during smaller bits of time that he has free, is a good plan to execute.

I did that this summer, when all the kids were home for three weeks (and we don't have camps here).  I knew that between them and work, there is no way to keep a normal learning schedule.  So, I understand that gemara and halacha wer off the table temporarily, and I kept a small mishnayos in one pocket and a small chumash in the other.  So, when I had time here and there, like on the bus, I had a schedule to keep.

It's important to remember that it's Hashem throwing the curveballs at us, and it's up to us to change our stance accordingly.  If He is putting us in a situation where it's impossible to maintain our normal spiritual life, then we adapt to it and focus on maintaining our non-normal spiritual life.

With that, I wish you all a wonderful and quiet Shabbos!

My youngest son has been begging us to buy him a skateboard for a good month now.  We're not sure where he got this idea from, since none of his friends have one, but it's something he needs.  It even got to the point that any money he might make, he saved in a special plastic box, so he can buy one himself.  Last I checked, he was up to 1.20 shekels.

On Chanukah, we have different "programs" for each night.  One night is "gift night," where you get a gift for answering any of my tough Chanukah questions.  Each child has their own collection that they get.  Don't worry, usually it's one bigger gift and the rest are things that they need, up until and including, yes, socks and underwear.

We have a fun time over it and everybody enjoys it, so that's what matters.

This year, as we were getting set up, my son ran outside and sat by the menorahs with a Tehillim in hand, davening that he should get a skateboard.  Not bad for a second-grader.  Especially one who has World Domination on his list of "things to do."

To his great thanks, he was provided with a skateboard 30 minutes later.  Unfortunately for him, one minute after he received his skateboard, his 1.4 year old sister decided that it was going to be hers.

"Then Yehudah went up to him and said, “Please, my lord, let your servant appeal to my lord" (Bereishis 44: 18).

In the first pasuk of this week's parsha we see the beginning of a … quarrel, for the lack of a better word, between two kingships within the Jewish people, between Yehudah and Yosef.

For years, Yosef was the de facto leader of Egypt, and in turn, most of the world.  While there was no leader who stood out amongst Yaakov's sons, when Yehudah stood up to Yosef to save Binyomin, the other brothers saw clearly that he was their leader.  That later being confirmed by Yaakov himself, when he blessed Yehudah with kingship.

And as we know, much of Jewish history was formed from these two kings.  After Shlomo HaMelech's reign, the nation was divided by two kings, one from Yehuda and one from Ephraim (Yosef's son), and this continued up until the first Exile.

Rav Shimshon Pincus explains that these two kingships represent two forms of serving Hashem.

Yosef was called "Yosef HaTzaddik" for it was he who suffered trials and tribulations, beginning with his being sold and brought to Egypt, living in Egypt without any physical or spiritual support of his family, withstanding the wife of Potifar, living in prison for many years, and eventually running the country, while maintaining his spiritual level.  In the end, through his efforts, he supported Egypt and most of the world.  Not surprisingly, we see another tzaddik mentioned in the Torah: Noah.  He too went through trials and tribulations, and for months supporting his own "world" encased in an ark.

Yehudah, on the other hand, did not go through such trials.  When he came to live in Egypt, he came with his entire family and extended family.  They continued to live together, separate from the rest of Egyptian society.  Yet, we see a hint of Yehudah's power in what he said to Yosef: "Bi Adoni."  We commonly translate this whole line as, "Please, my lord, let your servant …," but with a close look at the words "Bi Adoni," we see another hidden message, when translated directly: "Within me is Hashem (Adoni)."  And later, when Yehudah moves to Egypt, Yaakov sends him first, to make sure that a place of learning was set up before their arrival.

There are two aspects of a Jew that are represented by Yosef and Yehudah.

Yosef represents the aspect of maintaining, if not growing, one's spiritual self, despite all the trials that he goes through.  We have seen this time after time, when whole communities had to leave one country and move to another.  Even with a constant upheaval of Jewish life throughout the last 2000 years of exile, the Jewish nation has continued to keep Torah and Mitzvos, despite everything thrown at it.  This is Yosef.

Yehudah represents the "inner Jew," the "Within me is Hashem."  The aspect is shown most (and this is my own take) during calmer times of our history, when we are sitting in comfort in exile.  While we are not being persecuted or feeling alone, we still have to maintain that "inner Jew" in all aspects of life: whether with our family, in our business dealings, in our learning, or in our relationships with others.  Even without external pressures, we need to "internalize Hashem," if you will, keeping Him close to heart.  This is Yehudah.

As we see, these two aspects are not opposites, but rather each aspect becomes "activated" according to the situation a person, or the nation, is in.  And by using these aspects, we are ultimately using the power of two forms of Kingship.

As a note, and this is just an idea, but perhaps this will explain why Yehudah's reign was promised to last forever (via Dovid HaMelech).  Sometimes it is easier to grow when under stress, but the mark of a true Torah Jew is so internal, it could be found even without external pressures.  Just an idea.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

A few weeks ago I had a small surgery on my foot.  Nothing major.  However, it got infected and one of my toes decided to turn red and grow in size.  I went to my family doctor who gave me some antibiotics.  However, they didn't help.  So, I went back.  He told me that I really need to speak to the surgeon who did the work, since he knows better what to do.  The good news is, the surgeon will be in in another hour.  The bad news is, he's always packed with appointments.

Okay, so I return 45 minutes later to try to catch the surgeon before his first appointment.  While I'm there, I see the doctor coming into the hall every once in a while.  When the surgeon arrived, my doctor came out, grabbed my arm, and spoke to the surgeon for me.  After the surgeon agreed to see me, my doctor went back to his office.  Three hours later, I receive a call from the doctor, who's clearly driving home.  He wants to know how it went and what I was given.

It's amazing the power of a small phone call.  It was a two-minute call that I was not expecting from him.  But, in the end, it put me in a good mood.  Somebody cares!

A very important lesson to learn.

The parsha is the second of a "two-part" episode.  "On last week's episode" we left off with the climactic meeting between Yosef and his brothers.  Yosef passed judgement on his brother Binyamin, ordering him to stay while sending the others back to their father.

This week, we see what their reaction is going to be.

Immediately, Yehuda steps forward and confronts Yosef, begging, and according to many, threatening, Yosef to release Binyamin.  It's a confrontation between two powerhouses, two kings, if you will.  Yosef, "king" of Egypt, and Yehuda, whose kingship will come to his children.

This will continue throughout history.  We see shortly after Shlomo HaMelech's reign that there will be a split in the Jewish nation.  Ten tribes following a new king coming from Yosef, and two tribes remaining with the king of Yehuda.  This split will last for centuries.

We also know, when things will finally "come to a close," there will first be Moshiach of Yosef, followed by Moshiach of Dovid (who is from Yehuda).

Rav Shimshon Pinchus explains that Yosef and Yehuda represent two types of service to Hashem.

Yosef went through trials and tribulations, from his being sold into slavery, brought down to Egypt, forced to live without friends or support, being seduced by the wife of Potifar, being thrown into prison, dealing with Pharoah, etc.  He is commonly called "Yosef HaTzaddik," because he passed every test that was thrown his way.

When Yehuda came down to Egypt, he did not have any of these tests.  In fact, the Torah puts the light only on Yehuda once, when he and his family finally moved to Egypt.  That was when Yaakov sent Yehuda to Egypt before the rest of the family, in order to set up a yeshiva (according to the Midrash).

If Yosef represents the tzaddik who has to pass tests coming from outside agitators, Yehuda represents the "simple Jew," whose job it is to build himself internally with Torah.  Yosef deals with the yetzer horah coming from the "outside world," while Yehuda deals with the yetzer horah coming from "the inside."  Yosef deals with a yetzer horah trying to pull him away, and Yehuda is dealing with a yetzer horah that is pushing him away.  Both are important paths to greatness and both are used by all Jews during different times in their lives.  And perhaps that is why, in the "end of days," there will be two moshiachs working toward the same goal.  Moshiach of Yosef's job will be to rid the world of evil, and Moshiach of Dovid is to finally bring inner peace to the Jewish people.

With that, I wish you all a wonderful Shabbos!

“Then Yehudah approached him and said, "Please, my lord, let now your servant speak something into my lord's ears, and let not your wrath be kindled against your servant, for you are like Pharaoh.” (Bereishis 44: 18)

The words “for you are like Pharaoh” always stand out for me when I read it.  I don’t know why.

Rashi gives a few explanations on why he used this language.  One of them is, “Just as Pharaoh issues decree and does not carry them out, makes promises and does not fulfill them, so do you”

Yehudah saw that something was up.  Yosef, I’m sorry, The Viceroy, said that he wanted only to SEE Binyamin.  It became clear to Yehudah that The Viceroy was really setting them up to take him as a servant.  Hence, he was compared to Pharaoh, the professional politician, who says one thing, yet does another.

Of course, none of us are politicians, thankfully.  We do believe in the Next World.  But how can this apply in our lives?  Unfortunately, in many ways.  How many times do we promise our kids one thing and don’t fulfill it?  How many times do we teach our children “The Torah says this”, yet we do the opposite?  How many times do we promise ourselves to do something, yet fail to even try?  How many times do we promise our wives to take out the garbage, yet… wait… ignore that last one.

The point is, it’s extremely important for ourselves, and for our families, to become people who do what they say.

I walked home from shul the other week with a Sphardi man. He lives across the street from me.  He’s not particular religious.  I don’t see him too often, but, he’s a sweet guy.  He told me, “Me?  I don’t believe in doing things ‘just because’.  I believe you should continue to learn and to grow.  Listen… There are many mitzvos that I don’t do.  But the mitzvos that I DO do?  In those, I’m more ultra-Orthodox than the ultra-Orthodox!  My son? He’s a full ba’al tshuvah.  He has wonderful, beautiful children… sweet as honey!”

I love Sphardim.

I was happy that two of my sons were there to hear it.  This man knows where he is holding, knows where he wants to go, and isn’t going to fool himself or others on the way.  Whatever he preaches, he does.  Whatever he doesn’t’ do, he doesn’t preach.

May we learn that lesson well.

Have a great Shabbos!

Last week, the website and my email address were completely down.  So, if anybody emailed me and got an error in return, well…we’re back up!

Every Shabbos Chanukkah, we have a standing tradition to visit friends in Yerushaliyim.  This year I had a special treat, psychologically-speaking.  At the Shabbos table, I saw my friend do two separate acts, which were completely unnecessary for him to do, concerning cooking on Shabbos and moving items that one is not allowed to move.  I asked him about the first, since I’ve seen it done by others, but I have yet to see a source for it.  He explained to me the reasoning behind it, which I knew, since I learned it in depth last year.  However, he was missing a second piece to the equation, which knocks off his reasoning.  I didn’t say anything, since he didn’t do anything wrong, but after coming back to the kollel and double-checking with the Rosh Kollel, I gave myself a pat on the back.  Years of learning are starting to pay off.

You see, my friend has been going to yeshiva all his life.  He’s a very learned individual and is considered an expert in one specific area for which people come to him with questions.  And yet, for the first time in my life (I think), I knew something that somebody on his level, didn’t know!  It’s certainly not an attack on him, it’s simply that I learned the subject more in depth (and more recently) than he did, and I actually know what I’m talking about!  Not only is it a great feeling, but it’s yet another reminder, that one needs to keep on learning as much as he can, as deep as he can, to gain better understandings in all areas of life.

“He (Yaakov) sent Yehudah ahead of him to Yosef, to prepare ahead of him” (Bereishis 46:28). 

Rashi: “To establish for him a House of Study from which instruction shall go forth.”

Before Yaakov was to set foot in Egypt, he wanted to make sure that the base of Torah education would be set for his children.  Their education was of paramount importance and had to be taken care of first.

That being the case, it’s important for us as parents to understand that it is the education of our children that is the most important part of our lives.  However, the definition of “education” is not only about books and learning.  It’s mainly about time and patience.  For example the Skverer Rebbe, who lived in Romania before the Holocaust, would sit and play with his daughters, and help them with all their activities, just in order to keep them in the house, due to the dangers of the street.  You would think that a rebbe of a large chassidish group would have more “important” things to do with his time. 

The Steipler, I believe (it might have been the Brisker Rav, but I remember hearing that it was the Steipler), would often take time out and put his ear to the door of the room his children were playing in, in order to make sure that they were behaving and speaking to each other properly.

My son’s rebbe in school has a nice amount of children, to say the least, many of them older boys.  Every Shabbos, he wakes up very early, davens at the first minyan possible, and spends the morning learning with all of his children.

Many years ago, somebody told me that he asked a certain rav in Chicago (who is on this list and probably doesn’t remember the story…but, we’ll call him Rabbi K.) if he should take his son to shul and learn with him after every Shabbos.  Rabbi K. responded, “You know…some of my fondest memories with my children are playing games and making ice-cream sundaes with them after Shabbos."

Now, his wife and daughter are also on this list, so I don’t want to praise them or anything, but I will admit, the children turned out okay.  Some say they all turned out super-duper and they have a very close-knit family, all bnei-Torah, etc., but I don't want to let it get to their heads or anything :)

The point being, one of the main points of education is simply spending time with one’s children.  It’s important to remember that even if you’re not doing something “Torahdik,” it’s still under the realm of Torah.

With that, I wish you all a great Shabbos!

My apologies for the lack of dvrei Torah over the past two weeks, it’s been rather hectic.

Chanukah was very enjoyable.  As the kids get older, we are able to focus more on enjoying them, rather than breaking up fights and complaints about everything.  As per Winner Tradition, every night of Chanukah consists of a different "program" that we do.  One night, the kids put together their own, and the other nights, my wife does.  Most of them are the same games and activities that we do every year, and even though they are not for older kids, necessarily, they still enjoy it, since it’s “tradition. " Plus, we took our once-a-year “Out Shabbos” to friends in Yerushaliyim, where we stick 13 children into two rooms in a small apartment and see what happens.  This year was very successful, thankfully, even though none of them slept.  We did get a nice compliment when my oldest son said to me afterwards, “I really enjoyed going to Yerushaliyim, but at the same time, I was sad that we missed two nights of Chanukah at home. " I guess we’re doing something right.

Okay… more important things now.

One of the main reasons that the Ultra-Orthodox community tries it’s best to keep their children out of the army is due to "culture shock" that they will suffer when they transition from a Torah-based society to an anti-Torah, or at best, secular-"neutral" -based society.  Even within the more religious units, while the units themselves do not obviously contain anti-Torah soldiers, the overall army “society" is secular.  To be honest, this is not simply an Ultra-Orthodox position.  Many heads of yeshivos in the National Religious community have complained how many of their students have suffered spiritually while in the army with, unfortunately, a good number leaving the religious world.  That is one reason, I believe, that many of their yeshivos also prefer to push off serving until they are older.  This is the power of the environment one is in.

Can you imagine now, Yosef, who grew up in the house of Yaakov, and knew his grandfather Yitzchok, must have felt being brought down to Egypt?  The same Egypt which was steeped in immorality and impurity?  Can you imagine how a 21-year-old man from Bnei Brak would react by being forced to move to California, without any spiritual or emotional support?  There is no way he would survive!  Look at what happened to many Jews when they originally came to America… their families no longer exist.

What was the greatness in Yosef that allowed him to survive against all odds?

One of the sons-in-law of Rav Chaim Kanievsky came this week and asked the kollel the same question, and he gave a one-word answer: Emunah (faith).

Many ba'alei tshuvah might ask, “Why was I put on earth in such a situation that makes it difficult for me to be religious?”  Many not-so-bright people might ask, “Why was I not given more intelligence?”  People from abusive homes might ask, “Why was I put into such a family?”

I assume Yosef, at one point, asked, “Why did Hashem rip me away from my family and stick me HERE?”  But what Yosef did is something that most people do not do.  He answered his own question with, “Hashem has a reason."

Even though he completely lacked spiritual, physical, and emotional support from those who loved him, he continued on in his life holding on to the idea that “Hashem has a plan."

In the end, after so many years, he was able to see what that plan was and his role in it.

We, on the other hand, might or might not be so" lucky" to see the “end plan," at least in this world.  However, when a person finds himself in a situation that he has no control over, and is limiting him in certain ways, he needs to find the inner-strength to say, “Hashem put me here for a reason.  Perhaps, I don’t know what that reason is now, but I need to know I’m here for a reason."

With this simple thought of emunah, one can overcome some of the most difficult situations.

Have a great Shabbos!

I was told that we are to start saying special tefillos in Israel due to the lack of rain.  It’s pretty scary.  We  have only a few months a year of rain, which is critical to Israel on many levels.  And with the exception of a few tiny showers last month, it’s been drier than ever.  A friend of mine was recently in the Upper Galil and he saw nothing but dried out fields.

A few years ago, an Arab delivery man said to me, “It’s the end of the winter and we still haven’t had any rain!  You know what we need to do?  DAVEN MORE!”

May we take his words to heart.

In this week’s parsha, Yosef reveals himself to his brothers and offers refuge to them and their families from the famine that was striking the entire Middle East.  The Chizkuni says that  the Torah speaks at length in this week’s and next week’s parsha of how Yosef supported his father, and praised him for it.

We know, however, that Yosef had a basic obligation to support his father because of “Honouring One’s Father” and doing chesed for others.  Why does the Torah seem to add extra emphasis to something that he was obligated to do?

The Torah is teaching us an important lesson.  Many people think that greatness is doing beyond the basics in everything.  Yet, here we see that Yosef did the "basics" to the best of his abilities and was praised greatly for it.

The Chazon Ish, in his essay on Emunah and Bitachon, goes into great length about the importance of learning halacha as much as possible.  He held that this, and not necessarily books on spirituality and meditation, would lead a person to greatness.  Why?  Because we were given mitzvos to accomplish in this world, to earn our place in the Next World.  Therefore, the more we know about the details of each mitzvah, the more we will be able to perform it correctly.  Meditation, social action, and whatever else people like to think Judaism is, is all nice and fine, but the key to success, according to the Torah, is accomplishing your basic obligations through Torah and mitzvos.  And only through learning as much as we can about them, can we do them properly.

Have a great Shabbos!

I hope everybody enjoyed their Chanukah.

We took our yearly “Out-Shabbos” to Yerushaliyim, staying with the only friends of ours who have room for us.  When I say “room,” that means putting 12 children in two bedrooms and the little one in the “workshop” (my friend makes tefillin). 

It was very enjoyable for all, especially the kids who got to stay up very late, eat whatever and whenever they wanted, and act crazy.   The parents?  We went around getting our shopping done.  Thankfully, the kids, minus the 1 ½ year old behave very well on buses (2.5 hour trip), so the travelling aspect went very smoothly.  All in all . . . we wouldn’t do it every Shabbos, but it was nice to get away.

Okay, on to Torah!

“For all shepherds are abhorrent to the Egyptians” (Bereishis 46:34)

“For they [sheep] are a god to the Egyptians” (Rashi)

“For they know that shepherds who herd sheep know the reality of sheep, for they are always with them.  Therefore, they know that there is nothing at all godly to them.  Therefore they hate all shepherds” (Sifsei Chachamim on Rashi)

Rav Dov Ganz makes an interesting observation which is very applicable in today’s world.

When Yosef’s brothers arrive in Egypt, Yosef tells them to tell Pharaoh, that they are shepherds, in order that Pharaoh will keep them away from mainstream Egyptian society.  Because the Egyptians consider sheep to be gods, they had a special hatred towards shepherds as explained by the Sifsei Chachamim.

Rav Ganz points out, that when people are shown the error of their ways, from a rational level, they should change their beliefs.  Or when a person is shown that there are other legitimate viewpoints, he should come to recognize that fact.  However, human nature often trumps logical behavior.

The Egyptians believed that the sheep were gods.  They KNEW the shepherds KNEW that this was not true.  So instead of recognizing this fact, they not only stayed away from shepherds, they began to actually hate them!  Obviously, on a subconscious level, they also knew the truth, but they couldn’t bring that fact into reality.

One needs to look no further than anti-Israel protestors or anti-conservative protestors on university campuses.  Instead of speaking their minds with intelligence, they simply shout down whomever they disagree with.  I heard there’s some group called “Black Lives Matter Only When They Are Taken By White People Even When The Circumstances Aren’t Clear,” who simply yell, scream, protest, riot, and incite racism to prove their point, whatever that point might be.   I also hear anti-Trump sentiments at a whole new and dangerous level (note: I did not vote, nor did I care to see either one of them win).  Family members are no longer speaking to each other; employers are harassing employees, etc.  If you can make your point in an intelligent manner, great.  But if you are screaming, whining, crying, and inciting PERSONAL HATRED against others for not thinking the same way you are, perhaps there is an issue in your belief system.

Rav Ganz sums this up well: “Even within the camp of traditional Judaism, there are groups whose practices may have drifted somewhat from the Torah.  On the right there are extremist types whose Torah zeal may, upon occasion, encroach on principles of that same Torah.  On the left there are some who take liberties with normative halachah and time-honored Jewish belief and outlook.

“Very often, there is a fairly observable warning flag waving atop both camps.  That flag is a prevalent attitude of personal animosity, characterized by constant criticism, directed at other Jews who do not subscribe to their views.  Yet, although in most disputes between people both parties participate equally, this almost personal hostility is typically not reciprocal.  The words of the Sifsei Chachamim explain the paradox.  The hostility is not part of a feud in which case it would be reciprocal; rather it is the function of a defense mechanism.

“It could almost be said that it is a tellingly negative sign if incessant criticism and ill will characterize a person’s conversation regarding other groups of Jews and members of those other groups.  Based on the Sifsei Chachamim one wonders, “Why does he have the need to constantly berate those others? Perhaps it is his own defective belief system that begets this enmity?”

With that, I wish you all a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

During the last pregnancy, there were some small issues that required us to see a specialist outside of where we live. Being that, I was constantly renting cars from the local rental place every week or every other week in order to get my wife to the doctor. So, I became fast friends with the workers at the rental car company.

Two weeks ago, I decided to take my wife to Yerushaliyim. She hasn’t had any time off since she came home after the birth, and we’ve both been running at 110% inefficiency. We both had shopping to do, and I figured it would be good to take off the day to take care of what we need, by going first thing in the morning, and return in the evening in time to put the kids to bed. It was certainly not relaxing, and I made it home in super-record time (I LOVE driving on Route 6 with little traffic).

That morning, when I went to pick up the car, I saw Vlad (who takes care of the cars), sporting a new beard and haircut. Vlad is probably in his early 30s, very tall, very broad, and very Russian. Really nice guy. Don’t want to meet up with him in a dark alley. So, now here he is with a nice beard and an interesting haircut. As I walked in and saw him, I said, “Vlad! You look like you work for Metallica!” Boy, did I get a big smile and handshake! I guess I figured out how to reach his heart. When I went home, I tried the same line on my wife… it didn’t go over quite so well.
“And Pharaoh said to Yaakov, ‘How many are the years of your life? ‘ and Yaakov said to Pharaoh, ‘I have lived one hundred and thirty years, the years of my life were few and bad and they have not reached the years of my fathers’” (Bereishis 47:8-9)

The Daas Zkainim cites the Midrash that states that Yaakov was punished for saying that the days of his life were few and bad. For this, he lost 33 years, corresponding to the 33 words that were used between Pharaoh and Yaakov.

He also asks, “Why did Yaakov lose 33 years? Why not punish him according to the amount of words HE used? Why were the amount of words Pharaoh used part of the calculation?” He answers that Yaakov looked extremely old, due to the lack of joy in his life. Had he felt more joy, he would have looked younger, and Pharaoh wouldn’t have been prompted to ask the question in the first place. Therefore, Yaakov was held accountable for allowing the difficulties in his life to cause his premature aging.

Rav Chaim Shmuelovitz would cite this Midrash and explain that a person should always strive to see the positives in his life. There will always be troubles in life, yet we must always focus on the good that we receive on a daily basis. To allow negative emotions to take such a strong hold of your life, is literally taking away years from your life. Imagine a person leaving this world only a few years short of their grandchild’s wedding, only to learn in the next world that his premature demise was caused from stress related health?

Just a few days ago, something happened in the house that got me upset. I thought about and asked myself, “Will I even remember this incident in another month? Is this something REALLY worth getting upset about?”

By putting away the negative emotions and focusing on the good that we have, we can live healthier lives both physically and spiritually.

Have a great Shabbos!

Many people have emailed me asking, “Michael, it’s clear that you have such a perfect marriage. How can I be sure that my marriage is on the right track?”

Well . . . technically, I’ve never received such emails, HOWEVER, I’m sure that many of you are thinking that question right now (mainly because I just put it in your heads).

Let me relate to you one of the sure signs that you have a good marriage: When, for a gift, your wife buys a special maker used to draw on coffee mugs, and makes a mug that says, “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoyah . . . You drank my coffee. Prepare to die.”

For those of you who get it, you’re probably laughing really hard, and quite possibly jealous of my marriage. For those of you who didn’t . . . well, you’re either too old, too young, or simply not civilized enough to have seen some of the classics when you were younger.

Okay, on to Torah!
This week, I was looking at a sefer on the parsha and, lo and behold, the name of the subject was the Rav of our city, and certainly since I had heard the Rav say over the story, I couldn’t pass it over.

“And he sent Yehudah ahead of him . . . to show the way before him.” (Bereishis 46:28)

After learning that Yosef was still alive, Yaakov sent Yehudah ahead of everybody to Egypt to prepare for their arrival. The Fifsei Chachamim notes that the word “to show,” l’horos, is missing the letter vav, leaving the rest of the letters in the word to be: heh, vav, reish, and tav, which also can spell “Torah.” From these, the Gemara learns that Yehudah was sent ahead to Egypt to prepare their yeshivah before they arrived.

Rav Schach would say that it was this yeshivah that was the anchor of the Jewish world which helped keep the Jews “Jewish” in Egypt.

Once, the Rav of our city went to Rav Schach to ask him if, as rav of a city, it was his responsibility to establish a yeshivah there. Perhaps it was more important that he concentrate his rabbinical obligations on things such as kashrus, marriage, outreach, etc.

Rav Schach said that making sure that there was a yeshivah IS part of a rav’s responsibility to his city. When a yeshivah is established and people see how their students conduct themselves, then that, in and of itself, is part of outreach.

This reminds me of a story somebody told me not long ago. To the right of the local cheder (boys elementary school) is a school for the non-religious. One of the cheder teachers was walking past that school and saw a technician installing security cameras. He started speaking to the technician and learned that all of the schools in the city (or country, I forgot this detail) are having security cameras installed because of the growing violence and drug problems. This amounts to millions of shekels being spent. When the rebbe from the cheder asked if that includes the cheder and yeshivah, the technician laughed and replied, “Of course not! You guys don’t have these issues!”

Anyhow, back to the main point of the dvar Torah.

Any community that wants to build itself on the foundations of Torah always needs to begin with a yeshivah or kollel as its base. When the yeshivah is the root of the community, then that means Torah is the root of the community. When something else is the root of the community, the community will be destined to die out.

With that, I leave you with a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

I hope everybody had an enjoyable Chanukah.

This past Shabbos, we went to Jerusalem. The kids had a great time seeing other frum people, playing in the streets on Shabbos, seeing old friends. My wife and I left them with our friends and went to the Kotel for the first time in two and a half years. While it was nice to be at the Kotel, walking through the Old City, with all the tourists …. Well, we were reminded why it’s good to be away from such things and living in a small kollel community.

We also went to Geula to do some heavy shopping for things we simply cannot buy here. It’s a bit strange that my friends in Chicago have an easier time going to buy Jewish books than I do. Either way, it wasn’t fun, but it was productive, and I did get to come home with a few more books.

Okay, on to Torah!

This week’s parsha opens up with Yosef. (unbeknownst to his family) the Viceroy of Egypt, telling his family what Binyamin’s punishment was going to be for stealing his royal goblet (which was a setup orchestrated by Yosef himself).

Yehuda, the de-facto leader of the brothers, asks for forgiveness on behalf of Binyamin. He goes through the story at length of how this issue came to be, as if he or Yosef did not know the story in the first place. The Radak explains that Yehuda was retelling the entire story, emphasizing his father’s special love for him, in order to soften Yosef’s heart.

Rav Aryeh Brueckheimer uses this as a lesson in today’s world: “One of the challenges of our generation is our lack of emotion in avodas Hashem. If we use Yehuda’s approach to open our hearts and intensify our emotions towards Hashem and other people, we will be able to develop a warmer heart and fully observe the Torah and mitzvos, as the Rabbis tell us, ‘Hashem desires the heart’ (Sanhedrin 106b)”

I was able to visit my rav in Jerusalem this past week after Shabbos ended. We speak on the phone regularly (we call each other on non-Jewish holidays… don’t ask… it’s a fun custom of ours), but to sit down and talk? We did it last over a year and a half ago. I had a few things I wanted to discuss with him. I mentioned that I was disturbed over how davening is treated so lightly these days, no matter which community you are in. In times that we are supposed to be working on our davening, it seems that coming late and skipping important parts is considered normal. I told him of somebody I know who can sit and learn Torah all day (which he does to his credit and understands it very well), but has no interest (he even admitted so) in working on his davening, which is called “the service of the heart.” His learning partner once said to him, “After 120 years, you’ll go up to heaven, and Hashem will hand you all your books, put you in the corner so you can learn, and will say, ‘You had no interest in me, so I don’t have any interest in you.’” My rav happened to like that line.

He explained to me, amongst other things, that having a desire to grow is a gift from Hashem. It is either given from birth, or it is acquired through hard work. It’s no different than having a good memory, an ability to sit and learn, good income, other any other gift. Most people don’t have it, even people with the gift of learning.

It helped give me insight into this person and others like him.

So, how do we acquire such a gift to grow? Follow Yehuda’s example. Every once in a while, go over all the brachos that you have received in life, be thankful for everything that Hashem has given you, ask yourself how you can ‘give back’ to Hashem, and hopefully, after constantly doing this, you will begin to make an emotional bond with Hashem and Torah.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

I apologize for last week.

It’s been over a year since we went out for Shabbos. So, we rented a car and drove to Jerusalem for Shabbos. We have good friends who live on the fifth floor of a building and finally were able to build on the roof, adding a floor to their apartment. So, we stayed there and had a wonderful time.

It was a bit of a shock for the kids. It’s been a while since they last lived in a completely frum neighborhood. My son kept calling out, “LOOK ABBA! A CHOSSID WITH A SHTRIEMEL! LOOK ABBA! LOOK AT ALL THE MENORAHS!!!!” I think the idea of being able to play and walk in the middle of the street was also a big thing for them. Ahhhh… the joys of the ‘big city’.

Okay, on to Torah!

“And Pharaoh said to Yaakov, ‘How many are the years of your life?’ and Yaakov said to Pharaoh, ‘I have lived one hundred and thirty years. The years of my life were few and bad, and they have not reached the years of my fathers’” (Bereishis 47:8-9)

The Daas Zkainim cites the Midrash that Yaakov was punished for saying that the days of his life were few and bad. Because of this lack of appreciation for his life, Yaakov lived thirty-three years less than his father Yitzchok. Each year taken from him, represented each word of his complaint to Pharaoh. Thirty-three words.

No matter what is thrown our way, we need to have a constant appreciation for life. We were given life and we are still here. From these two “small” facts, we know that Hashem has a particular mission for us in this world, and He is watching us and directing our lives. If He is “bothering” to direct our lives, that means we are important to Him still, and despite whatever tribulations we are going through at this time, it is nothing compared to the fact that Hashem is watching over us and helping us in ways we don’t know.

Late night last, I was speaking to an old friend whose mother is currently on her death bed. We grew up together and our families are close, so it was a tad emotional for myself as well. This person told me that her mother has been in and out of consciences, but she is always smiling. During one of her bouts of wakefulness, the nurse asked her why she’s smiling all the time. This woman, who’s not completely religious, answered, “I was told that G-d is watching over me and everything is for my best. That is why I’m smiling”. Here’s a woman, dying from cancer, spending her last moments in this world, appreciating the life she was given, and still IS being given.

What about us who are not on our deathbeds? Of course, we all have issues. Some financial, some medical, some emotional… everybody has their ‘package’ that is tailored for us by Hashem. Yet, at the same time we also have LIFE, and we’re here for a good reason, and we should appreciate every moment of it.

Have a great Shabbos!