Vayechi

It's really crazy how small the country is.

Our immediate neighbors lost their cousin in the first day of fighting.  My middle daughter's teacher lost her brother.  Her friend in class just lost her brother-in-law (leaving an expecting wife).  My oldest daughter has a friend whose brother made a (hopefully not final) phone call before going into southern Gaza as an infantryman.  A friend's cousin is a tanker who was hit with an anti-tank missile, killing two of his crew and wounding him (he's pressing to go back in).  And we know several others with kids in the thick of things.  It's quite crazy.  Anybody out there know anybody killed or wounded in any US war? Probably not.

Unlike other countries, every loss is a life and not a number.

My wife sent me a clip, around 45 seconds, that she received from a friend.  It was from some Israeli podcast or radio show.  I have no idea.  But in it you had three people speaking.  One of them looked like Chanan ben Ari, the famous Israeli singer (religious).  The other two were secular.  One looked … regular, and the other, the speaker, had long hair tied up in what we call a "cookoo," and what you probably call a "bun" or something like that.

Obviously, this was a small clip of a larger conversation.

So, Mr. "Cookoo" asked who I assume is Chanan ben Ari, "When you drove here, how many red cars did you see?" (Red cars are rare in Israel.),  "I don't know," he replied.  "Why don't you know?" asked Mr. "Cookooe.  "… Because you weren’t paying any attention.  But, if I promised you one hundred dollars for every red car you counted, you'd know exactly how many you saw, right?  The same thing is with Hashem and miracles.  If you don't look and search for them, you will never see them.  But, if you go around searching for miracles and searching for Hashem, you will find them everywhere.  Even in this darkness that we're in now…."

It's one thing when some rav says something like that, but it's something else completely when you have a man dressed like he is, saying what he's saying.

A similar thing was expressed by the mother of one of the hostages accidentally killed by Israeli soldiers.  She said that she did not have, for one moment, any hatred for the soldiers who killed her son.  Only love and respect.  She said that they should not feel bad about it and continue fighting as they are, because, she said, clearly Hashem wanted it this way.

When Yosef was sold into slavery, everything seemed to be over in his eyes.  He was ripped from his father and sold into slavery in another country.  His father, too, could not lift himself out of mourning for so many years.  As he testified in this week's parsha, he did not expect to see Yosef again.  His brothers, upon meeting him, clearly realized what they did was so wrong, and at the same time were in fear for their lives while standing in front of the Egyptian viceroy.

Yet, we see in the end, Yosef was returned to Yaakov, the family was brought back together, and they were well supported and grew abundantly in numbers.

They say Israel is in a six- out of seven-front war right now, with world opinion clearly turning against it.  Antisemitism is on the rise, and according to some of society's greatest thinkers: that's okay.  It's easy to get lost in things, but like Mr. "Cookoo" said: If you look for Hashem, you will find Him everywhere.

We that, I leave you with a wonderful Shabbos!

Last Shabbos, my 17-year-old daughter's best friend had her apartment to herself.  Her parents went away, her married sister took the younger siblings, one boy is at yeshiva, and she … had her own apartment.  So, instead of going out, she invited eight of her friends from school and they all made Shabbos together.  The class is quite diverse in terms of Ashkanazim and Sfardim, with different backgrounds and styles.  So my daughter enjoyed seeing first-hand how everybody's families kept Shabbos via what the daughter did and the foods she made.

She also learned the importance of the "Shabbos Sfardi," which is similar to the "Shabbos Goy," but even better in some ways.  In some areas, Sfardim, at least those who follow Rav Ovadia Yosef, are more lenient than Ashkanazim.  So, when an issue came up, such as heating up certain foods, or opening bottles with metal tops, the Sfardim were put to work, since they were allowed to do things the Ashkanazim couldn't.  I've always been a big believer in keeping a "Shabbos Sfardi" in your pocket, just in case, and I can't complain about their food either.

"You, Yehudah, your brothers will praise" (Bereishis 49: 8).

The Targum Yonason comments, that because Yehudah acknowledged what he did with Tamar, all of his brothers will be called by his name (Yehudi).

This is something of a big deal here.  Yehudah, knowing it would make him look not-so-good, publicly acknowledged that he was the father of Tamar's soon to be child.  And because of THIS specific characteristic in Yehudah, the Jewish people were to be called "Yehudim" after him.

We learn from this the power of truth and acknowledging the truth.  All the moreso, when the truth might hurt.

I remember telling my Rosh Yeshiva about a couple I heard of.  He was learning in kollel and his wife supported him by … forging diplomas from universities.  When I told him this, he laughed and said, "And he's learning Toras HaEmes (the Torah of Truth)?"

Just the other night, I was listening to a talk between an interviewer and a principal of a chassidish school in America.  The principal himself was an experienced educator, but new at the position he's in, so he himself was being forced to struggle with the many new aspects. The topic was about when is it appropriate to bring up "the birds and the bees" to children.  The interviewer was bringing up several points and one of them hit upon molestation and the importance of education at an early age in order to protect the children.  Of course, the entire topic is sensitive and not so simple, and there was a lot of "back and forth" between the two in terms of finding the right time and path to educate.

After hearing several points, the principal was silently thinking, and he said, "I'll be honest with you.  You've raised some excellent points.  Some that I've never thought of.  Not only that, if I answered you honestly, I would contradict myself in a similar stance I take on a different scenario. I really can't give you an honest answer, since I really need to think about what you said."

Frankly, it was shocking to hear such raw honesty.  It was also quite refreshing.  And it forced me to respect him as a man.

I'll give another small example. Several years ago, one of my children was experiencing strange symptoms.  My wife did her research and thought that he was suffering from a rare type of virus (or something like that, I forgot), and sent me and the child to the doctor.  I told the doctor, whom we have an excellent relationship with, everything my wife said.  He did his own set of tests on my son and said, "I'll be honest.  I don't think that's what's wrong.  However, if your wife thinks so, I think it makes sense to go to a specialist.  Try to make an appointment with Doctor So-and-So, and if you can't get one within two weeks, call me and I'll see what I can do to get one.  In the end, to both doctor's surprise, my wife was proven correct.  While most doctors would have simply dismissed what my wife said, despite her reasoning and evidence, this doctor was able to put his ego to the side and admit that he could be wrong.  And because of his desire to get to the truth of the matter, my son was able to get the appropriate treatment.

Honestly is useful in all areas of life.  However, honesty with oneself is extremely difficult, yet extremely rewarding.  A person who is honest with himself, will be more likely to be honest with others, and can grow in ways that others cannot.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

A few Shabboses ago, we had a young couple over for a Shabbos meal.  It's bit weird saying "young couple," since it makes me feel old, but they are 15 years behind us, so I guess that counts.

They moved here nearly a year ago from Denmark.  He used to be an evangelical Christian, and after learning Hebrew, he realized where the truth really lies and converted.  And she herself has an interesting family background.  They moved to Israel realizing that there is no Jewish future in Denmark, and are trying their best to learn the ropes of living in a frum community and living in a completely different environment.

We have a warm relationship with them and when she asked if they can come over for a meal, we readily accepted.  As my wife and I were preparing for Shabbos, we decided to come up with a list of questions for them, mainly about Denmark, since ... who knows (or cares) about Denmark?

I started off with a light question, "Given the recent news of evangelical Christians trying to secretly join frum communities to convert people, are you one of them?"  Without batting an eyelash he responded, "It is ALWAYS my pleasure to bring people back to the 'Kingdom of Heaven.'"

Now, given the nature of the question, you would think that the rest should be rather painless … until I asked who their favourite Norse god was.  Immediately, they got into a fight about it.  I don't know what the fight was about, because they both switched to Denmarkian (or Danish, if you will) and sounded like the Swedish Chef from the Muppets.  In the end, we never got a consensus.  Very strange.

We did learn, however, that Denmarkians (or Danes for normal people) DO have a natural enemy: The Swedes! And there is a law that is still on the books that states: If the waters between Sweden and Denmark freeze, any Swede who crosses over into Denmarkian territory, can be beaten with a wooden stick.

Cute people, aren't they?

When Yaakov was giving his final brachos to his children, he said of Yehudah "… and his teeth, white with milk …" (Bereishis 49:12).

The Gemara (Kesubos 111b) says: "One who whitens his teeth to his friend [by smiling at him], is better than one who gives him milk to drink."

Rav Pincus said that when a person gives his friend a cup of cold water, he does a huge chesed for him.  However, water is water.  It keeps a person alive, but it doesn't give him vitality.  Imagine what a greater chesed he would do if he gave him a cup of cold milk instead.

That is why Yaakov chose this bracha.  A simple smile doesn't just keep a person "in neutral," it actually enlivens his day.  He feels better about himself and others.

As I started writing this, an additional thought came to me.  Who is Yehudah?  He is kingship.  He is leadership.  Perhaps that is why it was important for Yaakov to specifically give Yehudah this particular bracha.  Being in a position of leadership is stressful.  A leader has a lot riding on him and needs to make important decisions.  Being so, a leader, might naturally be so focused on his own issues that he forgets the people around him.  Therefore, Yehudah is being warned about the importance of smiling to others.  That too is an important aspect of leadership.

This past week, I attended the second of three talks that a well-known speaker gave to the community.  It's on parenting and important rules and tips on how to parent properly.  He took some time speaking about the importance of making sure that the home is always as "light" as possible. Music should be played, food should be prepared, etc. It should be a place that a child feels comfortable being in.  He also spoke of the importance of how the parents (especially the fathers) walk into the house.   He should never walk in and "go on the offensive" against his children or wife.  He should always walk in with a smile.

After giving this talk in a particular city, somebody came up to him and admonished him: "What you are teaching is against the Shulchan Oruch!  It's against Jewish law!"

Taken by surprise, he looked at him, and asked, "G-d forbid!  What law could I have been teaching against?"

The person smiled and replied, "When [the month of] Av [which contains Tisha B'Av and also means 'father' in Hebrew] enters, you should limit simcha."

The joke also made the point of the reality of life in some homes.

Either way, all people, leaders and non-leaders, should work hard to make it a point to smile at others.  Not just to "keep them alive," but to help them live.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

I heard a very nice schmooze today from the Moshgiach of the yeshiva I went to.

He asked an interesting question.  A few weeks ago, Yaakov finally settled down in Eretz Yisroel, hoping to raise his family in peace and quiet.  That, we learn, was something that Hashem was not such a fan of.  Shortly after, Yosef was sold to Egypt, and the rest of his sons split apart and began to live by themselves.  It was a period of great turmoil.  Yet, in this week’s parsha, we see that Yaakov lived in Egypt for 17 years, and Chazal say that those were 17 years of peace and quiet.

So… why did Yaakov get hit for wanting peace and quiet earlier, yet was granted peace and quiet now?

It’s well known that Hashem wanted Yaakov to learn that this world is about “the battle”.  There is no rest and relaxation.  It’s about the constant fight against the Yetzer Horah.  That is why tribulations fell on him earlier.  But here… here was something different, says the Moshgiach. 

The Jewish people were about to enter 400 years of slavery.  Slavery that we never saw before or after.  Before sending us into that situation, he wanted us to have time of happiness and growth.  By having those good times, the nation would be able to survive the bad.

When people would ask the Moshgiach’s mother, “You survived the Holocaust.  You went through Auschwitz… how could you remain religious after all of that?”  She would reply, “Why would I NOT?  I had a beautiful childhood!  I grew up enjoying Torah, enjoying the mitzvos.  To go through all of that, why would I NOT want to return??”

He continued and explained that in order for our children to survive the tough times in life, they must have a happy beginning.  The importance of having peace in the house, love between the parents, love between them and the children… these times of happiness and calm, will help them through times of hardship.  They will always remember, in the darkest times, that they had a loving and caring family.  They will always remember that when they learned or did mitzvos at home, it was done in an enjoyable fashion.

One cannot compare a stable family that goes through difficult times to an unstable family that goes through the exact same difficulties.  And that is what Hashem wanted to give us before giving us the difficult times.  A strong, loving and caring beginning, will carry anybody far in life, no matter how difficult things get.

Have a great Shabbos!

Well, we need rain, we weren’t getting rain, and now we had it.  Over the past week or so, it’s been raining, and boy did we get it in the past few days.  Non-stop pouring.  It’s been so much that it’s resulted in damage, and unfortunately, even a few deaths.

They say there is “gishmei bracha” and “gishmei klala,” rain which is a blessing and rain which is a curse.  And I guess we’re seeing it now.

What makes it so real, is that this is not Florida, for example, which gets hit with its hurricanes.  It’s Eretz Yisroel, where rain is considered a good sign on what Hashem is thinking about us right now.  On one hand, we’re getting the much needed rain; on the other, it seems to be coming with a slap in the face.

Hopefully, things will calm down and we can continue to get the gishmei bracha that we are davening for.

“Yaakov lived seventeen years in Egypt.  When the time drew near for Israel to die, he called for his son Joseph” (Bereishis 47:28). 

Out of all the forefathers, Yaakov is the one most identified with the Jewish people.  The women are often called Bnos Yaakov; the nation is called Bnei Yisroel; there’s Eretz Yisroel, Am Yisroel, etc.  Avraham and Yitzchok have their roles, but Yaakov and the nation seem to be more tied together.

Out of all the forefathers, it is Yaakov that seems to go through more trial and tribulation, and the Torah dedicates more time to show us the details.  He grew up with Eisav, bought his brachos from him, had to flee for his life, had to deal with Lavan on so many levels, run from Lavan, prepare for war with Eisav, deal with the incident with Dina, “losing Yosef,” children issues, etc. And how does the Torah end his life?  He lived seventeen years in Egypt, gave his brachos, and died.  Nothing happened to him in Egypt to write about?  No stories on how he raised his grandchildren?

That the Torah goes into so much detail with Yaakov’s life IS the reason that we are so connected to him.  His life was spent with trial after trial, battle after battle.  The Torah is telling us that THAT is what makes a Jew, his constant battle in life where the Yetzer Horah attempts to lead him to despair.

Each trial that Yaakov went through was different from the other.  Each one, a different lesson.

A Jew's mission in life is that of battle.  When we do battle against the Yetzer Horah, Hashem “goes into detail” with our lives.  But when we simply “live” and there is no battle, then Hashem gives a few lines.

May we all use our time and strength properly so we should have many chapters written about us.

Have a great Shabbos!

Thankfully, I have the opportunity to be learning the halachos of Shabbos in the morning.  Not just from the Mishnah Brura, but we start from the Gemara and move our way through the "years" to see how today’s halachah has been formed, and the basis for each one.  With this understanding, one has the ability to have ideas on what the halachah would be in different situations which you might not have thought of.  I found one halacha that I did not know (I won’t go into for brevity).  Officially, the Rema says many are lenient on not doing it, but one really should do so.  I thought of some people who I knew of, who would scoff at following such stringencies . . . but the source of this stringency is the exact same source of leniency that they would have no problem using and probably do use!

When going over the Mishnah Brura, I thought to myself, “How does a person fully understand the Mishnah Brura, if he has never learned the Beis Yosef?”  Then, I thought, “How do you understand the Beis Yosef, without understanding the Tur, Rambam, Rif, etc…?”  That was followed up with, “How do you understand THEM, if you don’t understand the Gemara, Rashi, and Tosfos?”  Then I thought to myself, “How in the world can I leave kollel when there’s SO MUCH TO FIGURE OUT???”  Then, I started getting depressed.  So, I fixed THAT up with a "shot" of Turkish coffee and got back to work.

Now, if I can solve why I seem to forget everything I learn . . . where's my coffee?

“Shimon and Levi are brothers . . . Cursed be their anger, for it was vehement, and their wrath, for it was cruel.  I will divide them in Yaakov, and scatter them in Israel” (Bereishis 49:4-7).

“For Shimon, this meant that his descendants would be teachers, scribes and beggars, forced to wander the Land of Israel looking for work.  Whereas for Levi, these words were fulfilled by his descendants traveling the Land to receive the priestly gifts of terumah, ma’aser, and priestly gifts” (Rashi).

This was the "blessing" that Yaakov gave Shimon and Levi shortly before he died.  It was a pretty harsh blessing if you ask me.  While many might actually think that this is a curse, we see that in reality, it truly was a blessing.  What became of Shimon and Levi?

Both were spread throughout Israel, as Yaakov said.  Later in the Torah, we see that the head of Shimon fell in line with Zimri, and led his fellow tribesman down the same path.  When the Jewish nation finally entered Israel, we see that Shimon never fully received his portion.  What he did receive was fully enclaved within the land of Yehudah.  We see that no kings or judges came from Shimon either.  Really, we don’t hear much from Shimon.

Levi, on the other hand, produced Moshe and Aaron, the Cohanim, and Leviim.  They produced prophets and famous Talmidei Chachamim.  While all the tribes, today, are known as “Yehudim,” from Yehudah, the Leviim are still called Leviim.

What, ultimately, was the difference between the two, who began on the same path, yet ended up on completely different courses in history?

First, we need to see what was going on when Yaakov was giving the brachos.  He wasn’t simply giving brachos, for Shimon and Levi, he was giving a rebuke.  Both of them received the same rebuke, but one internalized it and one did not.

What did Levi do when he internalized it?  Did he take this negative trait of violence and eradicate it?  No.  Instead he used it for good.  Rav Tzaddok HaKohen of Lublin explains that the only way we can overcome our Yetzer Horah is to use it in a positive way, as the Gemara (Tamid 32a) says, “What can a person do and live?  Let him kill himself in the study of Torah.”  By using that natural desire for war, Levi directed it at a real target, his Yetzer Horah.  Instead of fighting with others, he fought with him.

The difference between the two tribes was twofold.  First, the ability to receive, acknowledge, and internalize rebuke and constructive criticism.  This is difficult enough.  But that’s not enough.  One must also take his character traits that he used for the negative and turn it for the positive.  We see that even violent tendencies can be used in a positive manner. 

By following these two steps, the entire histories of two tribes were changed forever.  Can you imagine what we can accomplish if we keep this in mind?

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

I relearned an important lesson yesterday.

There seems to be this "custom" here for boys and girls who are close to bar/bat mitzvah to fast the entire last three fasts before their bar/bat mitzvah.  My daughter was, of course, planning to do this, which would have been Tisha B'Av, Tzom Gedaliah, and Yom Kippur.  My wife wasn't a fan of this idea, since she's rather petite, and if she doesn't have to fast, why should she.

So, I asked a rav, and he said the whole thing was nonsense, and she should fast what she could do and that's it, even on Yom Kippur.  With that, my daughter did her "half a day" fast, and that was that.

Yesterday, I was looking in a sefer with questions and answers from Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach on the halachos of fasting.  I just happened to catch him say that there was this "custom" to for kids to fast, etc., and it has no source whatsoever, and should not be done.

Just a reminder that when the masses are doing something, and no one can give you a source . . . always check into it with a rav.

(Just a note—this goes both ways, when the masses are being stringent or are taking things lightly.)

“Shimon and Levi are brothers; tools of violence (or “violently misappropriated tools”) are their weapons” (Bereishis 49:5).

Rav Shach, when speaking to the Agudas Yisroel Convention in 1980, said, “Yaakov and Eisav are two different entities—two opposites.  This one’s power is in his mouth, while this one lives by the sword.  When Yaakov’s children take up the sword he says to them, ‘Tools of violence are their weapons.’ Rashi explains this to mean: ‘The craft of killing is the blessing of Eisav!  This craft belongs to him, and you have violently misappropriated it from him!’

“We must know that the sword belongs to Eisav, and if it is found in our hands, it has been misappropriated!  We have a different approach to life.  Yaakov’s words, ‘my sword and my bow’ (Bereishis 48:22) are rendered by the Targum as ‘my prayer and my supplication.’  These are our forefather’s true weapons.  Our power is only in our mouths.  The secret of our survival lies in our Torah study and prayer!”

As we’ve mentioned many times here, people put their faith in the army or groups like the JDL or whatnot.  It is true, every person must do hishtadlus (effort) to accomplish things, but it need not be THE answer.  For taking up arms is not THE answer for us.  It’s merely a thing that we need to do.  But the REAL effort comes from one’s learning and davening.  If Eisav fights by the sword, which is his "weapon of choice" against Yaakov and his sword, which is not his "weapon of choice," Eisav WILL overcome eventually.  This is HIS way of fighting after all.  But if Yaakov uses HIS "weapon of choice," which is his mouth in prayer, HE will overcome.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Michael Winner

My son has proven that his is truly my child.

He had a test earlier this week, and he did not know the answers to two of the questions.  So, he simply wrote, “I don’t know.”  When he received his test back and saw that they were marked "incorrect," he went to his rebbe, trying to hold his smile, and said, “But Rebbe!  ‘I don’t know IS the correct answer!  I DON’T know the answer to the question!!”  His rebbe liked the attempt, but didn’t give in.

At least he tried….

“Impetuous as water, you will not exceed” (Bereishis 49:4)

Once an older single woman came to Rav Shach for advice.  She was dating a man who, so far, met her approval.  However, on their second date, he voiced an opinion on a matter a little too strongly for her taste.  She was worried that perhaps this was a bad sign of what was to be, and was considering breaking it off.

Rav Shach listened to her story and replied, “You’re a hundred percent right!  This very well may not be your destined one.  Nevertheless, I want you to do me a personal favor.  Today is Thursday.  Don’t turn him down until after Shabbos.”

Seeing that Rav Shach understood where she was coming from, she agreed to his terms.  That Shabbos afternoon, she met Rebbetzin Shach and made mention that she has given the matter more thought and decided to continue to date this person and “double-check.”  She met the man again, and shortly afterward, they were engaged.

Many times in life, we have an urge to act on our instincts, which in turn, gets us in trouble.

My boss told me once that he has his email set up so it does not send out the email for 3 or 4 minutes after his presses the "send" button.  He figures that there might be some times when he doesn’t think before writing and wanted the opportunity to catch himself before making a problem for himself.

Before making any big, or sometimes even small, decisions, one must think it over, ask for guidance, and wait a little bit for everything to sink in.  When one is patient with his thoughts, the chances of his doing something damaging greatly diminishes.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

Before Yaakov’s death, he gave each and every one of his children a brachah. To Yissachar, he said that he “bent his shoulder to bear the yoke of Torah and became for his fellow Jews a servant of his people” (Bereishis 49:15). On this, Rashi says, “This was done by rendering halachic decisions and teaching the many complex issues that govern the fixing of leap years.”

Rav Avraham Pam, assumingly based on this Rashi, said that the highest form of those who deal with the needs of the community are those who remain in the Beis Medrash and devote their years to intense study. When a person devotes so many of his years of his life to get a true understanding of halachah in its daily application, he is able to help others who are not on such a level move through life according to the dictates of Hashem.

Over the last two-and-a-half years, our kollel has been working on the halachos dealing with kashrus. It’s certainly not the easiest, and in theory, when we are done, those who know and understand should be able to go out and render decisions on dealing with most issues of that field. That’s just kashrus, and that’s been the subject for full-day learning. Imagine how much time it would take to learn Shabbos properly? Or brachos? Or Schittah? Or any other subject matter? (Let’s not go into monetary issues . . .)

There’s somebody in our kollel, a few years older than I, who, well . . . is brilliant. He’s currently studying (and remember, he’s been learning his whole life, and is brilliant) to be able to go into dayanus (sit on a Jewish court). He’s doing this while teaching a bit and running the community tzedakah fund, and helping out everybody with marriage issues, children issues, halachic issues . . . you name it. My friend calls him the “Batman” of our city; he works in the darkness without making a big deal about things. In fact, when I mentioned this compliment to him, I asked him, “Do you even know who Batman is?” He smiled, and said, “Not really . . . I’ve heard the name and I know he has something to do with comics . . .”

Here is a person who has dedicated his life for the community. He’s not taking some four-year “Look I’m a Rabbi!” course. He’s sitting and pushing himself to gain a proper understanding of the working of halachah, so when modern issues come up that are not spoken about in the Shulchan Oruch, he will have the ability to properly understand and determine what the Torah wants from us in different situations.

In the past I’ve seen and heard of people learning for a bit, getting smichah in some area or another in halachah, and going and taking rabbinic jobs, which quite frankly, they are not truly ready to take on. However, they have smicha now and need a job, and want to “make the world a different place,” and they get to be called “Rabbi So-and-so.” It comes to no surprise when, years later, I hear that they’ve become “controversial” to say the least, because they issue “interesting” decisions in halachah or Jewish thought.

Just recently, a large group of leading rabbanim in the United States finally came out against one particular “yeshivah” that has produced, through their four year “learn-it-all” program, “rabbis” who now state that people wrote the Torah, and other wonderful ideas (I happen to know the head of this movement, hence it came to my attention). Unfortunately, this place is turning out "rabbis" who do not have the Jewish education to take rabbinic positions. More unfortunately, congregations, which do not have talmidei chachamim in them, are hiring such people.

The one thing I keeping learning in kollel is: A true talmid chacham is one who spends his life delving into Torah and understanding it to the fullest. Perhaps he does have other obligations in his life . . . but his true burden is Torah . . . not getting a Masters in Jewish thought, not going out and being politically correct, not hugging whales, nor writing on blogs and for newspapers. Simply put, he’s not wasting his time on things that have no relevance to his growth as a Jew.

I’m not talking about this particular group of people. I’m speaking about everybody. Complex halachic issues cannot be solved by a person who learned for a few years in a program and has an MA in Jewish Thought. It can only be dealt with by people who have dedicated their lives to truly understanding what Hashem wants from us.

And our job, as laymen within the community, is to see that such people are given our fullest support to do their jobs properly (whether financially, emotionally, etc.), and that these TRUE talmidei chachamim, are raised to levels of leadership, and that we, who know very little, should recognize that fact, and submit ourselves to their decisions.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

Most big supermarkets in Israel have delivery services, since not everybody has a car. There is one particular place my wife goes to for bigger shopping "sprees" that has one delivery guy. He happens to be a religious Arab. Nice guy actually. He has a high-school degree and is very appreciative of Israel. After coming back from Egypt visiting family, he told us, “People don’t know how good they have it here.”

Anyways, he sometimes comes with an “assistant,” a Jewish man named Moshe. Now, Moshe isn’t exactly 100% there (hence he’s only an ASSISTANT deliveryman), and he was hired as a chesed toward him.

We recently had a delivery, and when they walked in, the Arab turns to my wife and says, “Did you know that Moshe’s name isn’t really Moshe? It’s really Omri! Are you allowed to just change your name like that?” Moshe/Omri then whispers to him, “You can’t ask her, she’s religious!” to which he responds in a loud voice, “And that’s WHY I’m asking her, because religious people know these things! You can’t just do whatever you want like change your name! You have to first ask a rav to see if you can! And until you get permission, I’m going to call you Omri and not Moshe, since Omri is your real name! So, Mrs. Winner, are you allowed to change your name?”

My wife responded that she really didn’t know, but she would ask me when I come home to see if I knew. To that, the Arab responded with a big smile, “You see Omri! What a good wife she is! If she doesn’t know that answer, she asks her husband!”

Here we have an an Arab teaching an important lesson, “You can’t just do whatever you want until you ask a rav!”

Only in Israel.
“I will divide them among the rest of Yaakov and I will spread them among Yisroel” (Bereishis 49:7)

Shortly before his death, Yaakov gave each of his sons a personal brocha. Concerning Shimon and Levi, he gave them a harsh rebuke for the violence they did against Shechem after the incident with Dina. In the brocha, he promises that Shimon and Levi will be spread throughout Israel, not having their own place. On the face, it doesn’t seem to be much of a brocha, but rather a curse.

The Chasam Sofer explains that really, it IS a brocha. True, Shimon and Levi overreacted with violence, however they did it with honorable intentions. The other brothers, on the other hand didn’t do a thing, which was also incorrect. Therefore, Yaakov was saying, “I’ll take away some of the anger of Shimon and Levi and spread it among the other brothers for they need more than they have now. Then they will all have this trait in a proper amount.”

Every human middah (virtue) has a place in our lives. Even anger. But each virtue needs to be used in its proper time and in proper amounts.

This reminded me of an incident that once took place. I happen to know of a person who has a terrible driving record. Not only does it include several driving violations, but he was involved with one accident that put a biker in the hospital and a separate accident sent a pedestrian straight to the morgue. Why is this person still allowed in a car? Ask the State that charged him and sentenced him . . . I can’t imagine why, personally.

Either way, I once heard that Person A. was going to be getting a several-hour ride with Mr. Driver. Knowing the information that I knew, I asked a rav if I could, or was obligated, to speak to Person A. The rav told me that I was obligated. Being that I didn’t know Person A. so well, I asked Person B., who knows of Mr. Driver’s record and is friendly with him, to speak to Person A., since they were both friends. Person B. is very much into being friends and being friendly with everybody, and therefore he made it clear he did not want to say such "not nice things" about Mr. Driver. In the end, I pulled over Person A. and spoke to him. He was very thankful for the information, and found another driver.

Now, let’s say I didn’t speak to Person A, and G-d forbid, something had happened to him. Forget how Person B. might feel, but think about what he would have been held accountable for after 120 years? He knew, and purposely withheld, information that could have saved a life! All because he wants to be and remain friends with everybody!

Every middah has its place and its use. Sometimes, when we think we are doing the “nice” thing, we can be doing the wrong thing, and it could result in disaster.

When we are in doubt or have questions about when to use our different middos, we have rabbeim and rebbetzins to go to. Often it’s a matter of halacha (such as in the case above), and often it’s a matter of asking somebody who himself has mastered (or come close to) his own middos to help you use yours properly.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

Finally!

Rain!

It came late, but we’ve had good rains for the past week. As we speak, Jerusalem is closed due to heavy snow, and cities and towns shortly north of us are also receiving snow. However, much to my wife’s disappointment, we are receiving only freezing cold rain. That’s what you get for living snuggled up to a mountain range, directly receiving it’s weather from the Mediterranean.

This morning, Chaim saw a car that somehow made it from Tzvat, parked with snow still sitting on it. He ran to it and started singing and playing. How sad for him....

On one hand we want snow. But, over the past several hours, friend after friend in different neighborhoods in Jerusalem have gone “offline” with electrical outages.

In our old neighborhood, they have no electricity, the eruv (which allows you to carry outside of your house on Shabbos) is down, and Shabbos is only a few hours away.

I’ll stick with my heavy rain thank you…
Okay, on to Torah!

“He sustains (me-chalkel) the living with kindness…” (Second Beracha of Shemone Esrei)

“Yosef sustained (ye-chalkel) his father and his brothers…” (Bereishis 47:12)

“And now, don’t fear, I will sustain (a-chalkel) you…” (Bereishis 50:21)

Rav Shumon Schwab, in his sefer on tefillah, explains that the word “me-chalkel” (sustains) expressed the idea of limitation. While Hashem has infinite ability to do what He wants, He sustains us in this world with limits. With the next world, as the second bracha continues, he deals with Chesed (unlimited kindness).

We see in this week’s and last week’s parsha, Yosef supporting this extended family, and both times, the Torah used the word “chalkel”. Rav Schwab explains that Yosef limited his family’s income in order to not anger the Egyptians, who were suffering from the famine.

I want to offer another idea.

I would like to suggest that the Torah is teaching us a lesson about relying on other people, whether they give you income for free or you work for it. Even though Yosef was the second most powerful person in the known world, even he was limited in what he can give his family. He could give them food and clothing, but not good health, not peace in the house, not this, not that. As a person he is limted. Hashem on the other hand, is the opposite. While, as we’ve seen, he limits his chesed, his “limit” is our “limitless”.

When we rely on Hashem to take care of us, anything can be given, if He so desires. But when we are relying on other people, they are very limited in what they can give and for how long.

Have a great Shabbos!

We have a lot of Russians living in our city.

A lot.

One of the Russians in our kollel believes that around 40% of Russian Israelis aren’t Jewish, whether they know it or not. Being that we have such a high concentration, this year, we had a store dedicated to selling trees, and several other stores were selling decorations.

My wife was walking with Chaim, when he saw somebody’s windows decorated with lights and a Santa Claus. Chaim of course, has absolutely no clue whatsoever, what it means. You simply don’t see such things here.

He pointed and yelled, “Look mommy! A clown!”

The joys of raising children in complete ignorance of such things.

Okay, on to Torah!
“Shimshon and Levi are brothers; tools of violence (or violently misappropriated tools) are their weapons” (Bereishis 49:5)

In his opening of the General Convention of Agudas Yisroel in 1980, Rav Shach said the following, “Yaakov and Eisav are two different entities – two opposites. This one’s power is in his mouth, while this one lives by the sword. When Yaakov’s children take up the sword , he (Yaakov) says to them, ‘Tools of violence are THEIR weapons’. Rashi explains this to mean: ‘The craft of killing is the blessing of Eisav! This craft belongs to him, and you have violently misappropriated it from him!’
“We must know that the sword belongs to Eisav, and if it is found in our hands, it has been misappropriated! We have a different approach to life. Yaakov’s words, ‘my sword and my bow’ (48:22, which he used to conquer Shechem) are rendered by Targum Onkolos as, ‘my prayer and my supplication’. These are our forefather’s true weapons. Our power is only in our mouths. The secret of our survival lies in our Torah study and prayer!”

Many people might respond to this with, “Yeah… that’s nice, Rabbi, but the reality of the situation is…”

But what Rav Shach was saying IS the reality of the situation! We have a unique relationship with Hashem. We have the abilitiy to ask Him for things, and He has the ability to grant them. There’s a threat from Iran? What? Hashem can’t take care of that for us? There’s an economic downturn? What? Hashem still can’t help us?

I once was speaking to a cab driver. I explained (though it’s obvious from my ‘uniform’), that I was not a Zionist, but every year, on Independence Day, I get this yearning to say Halllel. Why? Because when you look around the country and see how it has developed DESPITE how entirely backwards things are done here, it’s super-natural! He laughed and agreed with the statement. Anybody who has lives here and ‘enjoyed’ all the bureaucratic and corrupt systems that plague those in power, can attest to the amazing fact that this country is still around, yet alone doing well! It’s simply amazing! If Hashem can pull off such a miracle, anything is possible!

When we grab the nearest M-16, raise it above our heads, and cry, “With my OWN strength….” We are walking into Eisav’s realm and stealing his ‘trade’. At that point, he has a legitimate gripe against us. However, when we daven for salvation, plead and do teshuvah… THAT is a Jew’s trade, and that is something Eisav is not allowed to touch.

Have a great Shabbos!