Va'eira

This past Shabbos, at 8:10 am, my family was woken by the sounds of air raid sirens.  Not a pleasant thing to wake up to.  Thankfully, I just returned from davening, so I was all dressed and awake, and my oldest son was getting ready to go to the 8:30 minyan.  I ran to get my two-year-old, who was sitting in bed shaking and starting to cry, and I was happy to see that's the first place my son ran to.  I yelled at everybody to get up, and thankfully, everybody was able to get up and going.  Unfortunately, only two made it out in time.  But, what are you going to do, when you have only 30 seconds?

I felt bad for my six-year-old though.  The second the siren ended, and we realized that we were not in danger, he just broke down crying.  What do you tell a kid to make him feel better? Smile and say, "Don't worry!  We didn't die!!"? Or perhaps a more manly/Klingon response, "Perhaps today was not a good day to die!"?

This is only the first real time we had to move quickly (the previous was a false alarm), it gives you a perspective how others further up north (those that are left) and down south, go through on a near-daily occasion.

In the end, everybody did calm down.  The idea that this was a false alarm was quickly dispelled with the non-stop sounds of aircraft, helicopters, and muffled explosions throughout the day.  And since it was Shabbos, nobody had a clue what was going on.

Everybody did get in a better mood, though, when we saw the newest toy the air force has. The Super-Duper-Mega-Super-Large-Missile-Detection-Blimp floating who knows how many kilometers from us (clearly it ate the Goodyear blimp for breakfast before joining us).  Its job is to be able to detect missile launches hundreds of kilometers into Syria, Jordan, etc. It has a sister blimp over Dimona which is guarding the nuclear weapons that Israel doesn't have stored there.

All in all, we learned some lessons.  Pray that we don't get attacked when we're sleeping.  Don't wear skeleton pajamas that glow in the dark (like my six-year-old), lest you scare everybody else running to the shelters. Super-Duper-Mega-Super-Large-Missile-Detection-Blimps are really cool to look at.  And everybody at the 8:30 minyan agreed that Hezbollah gained spiritual merit, since only they could get everybody to come to shul on time.

Okay, on to more important things.

When Moshe gave Pharoah his warning about the upcoming hailstorm, Rashi writes that Moshe scratched a mark on the wall, and said, "When the sun hits here, the hail will fall."

Rav Pinkus notes that, if you look carefully, you'll see that this is a tad interesting.  Usually, before a hailstorm, or any storm for that matter, there is no "when the sun hits here," because there is no sun at the moment!  Before any storm comes, the clouds need to spread out first, because without clouds, there is no storm.  We learn from here, that there were no clouds at the time of the hail!

He explains that many people think that walls are made to separate two people or two things.  That's their whole essence: to separate.  However, he writes, there are many walls in our world that actually serve to bring people or things together.

In the shul, for example, we have a wall which separates men and women from each other.  There are those, who lack Jewish understanding, claim that this wall is to keep women separate, penned up, and second-class citizens.  However, the opposite is true.  Without this wall, women could not come into shul at the time of davening, because men and women cannot daven in a shul together.  However, when a separation is made, it allows women to come in during those times and allows men and women to daven at the same place at the same time.  In this example, this wall serves to bring people together.

Another example: the clouds at Sinai.  They covered the mountain, "allowing" Hashem to enter our world, if you will, and be in the physical presence of the Jewish nation, albeit behind a wall of clouds.  Without this wall, we would never survive such an encounter.

Yet another example, which is directly related to the hail.  When Hashem wants to give the bracha of rain, he first sends clouds to cover the sky.  This "wall" which "separates" Him and us, if you will, serves as a means to deliver the much-need bracha of rain, which brings us food and water on which we are so dependent.  Again, it allows Hashem to enter our world and become close to us.

When the hail hit Egypt, it did so seemingly without any clouds.  There was no wall that brings two things together.  This was the opposite.  This was a punishment being served straight from Hashem, without any "filter" to protect the recipients.

Sometimes in life, we think we see walls being put up.  True, sometimes they are walls put up to keep us from going in certain directions and to certain places.  And we often get depressed about such things.  However, we need to remind ourselves that it's very possible that these walls were not only meant to direct us on the proper path, but are also meant for us to become closer to Hashem.

With that, I wish you all a wonderful Shabbos!

This week my wife and I celebreated (or commemorated) our 18th anniversary.  Which is … strange, to say the least.  Before I could even think of a plan, my wife made it clear exactly what we will be doing to celebrate OUR anniversary.

To be fair, she was nice enough to ask me, in theory, of course, if I had a choice on how to celebrate our anniversary, how would I do it?  As I was thinking, she was able to read my mind and add, "WITH ME!!! NOT BY YOURSELF OR WITH YOUR FRIENDS!!!".

She's good.

Rashi describes, in this week's parsha, how the plague of frogs came about.  One big frog came out from the river, and when the Egyptians hit it, more frogs came from it.  The more they hit the frogs, the more the frogs increased until they overran the entire country.

The Steipler learns a very simple but powerful lesson from this.  After hitting the frog the first time and seeing the results, what would be the logical course of action afterwards?  Simple!  Stop hitting the stupid frog!  However, the Egyptians didn't take such a course of action.  Rather, they got angry and hit it again.  Then they got angrier and angrier, hitting it over and over, not realizing that they are the ones causing the frogs to multiply.  Hence, says the Steipler, we see the power of anger.

When a person is angry and certainly when he begins to get angry, he loses control over himself.  And that loss of control, will often contribute to more pain and misery than the original source of anger!  Had the Egyptians "kept their cool", they would have dealt with only one big frog, but they couldn't, they had no self-control, and in the end, they caused their own demise.

Rav Pincus notes on this, that we run into such things every day.  Let's say a person jumps in line.  You have two choices, get in a fight with that person or leave it be and wait another five minutes.  If you fight with the person, there's a good chance that the fight will take an additional five minutes easily, AND you will have a fight on your hand.  However, by "keeping ones cool", one can write it off as "this is what Hashem wants from me and it's costing me a whole five minutes.  No big deal."

Of course, there are much bigger things that occur and some of them do require you to fight.  But, in such cases, you should speak to a third party to ask what you should do and how to do it, before setting off on a losing crusade.

Last year, a local rav told me not to pay one of the schools the remainder of the money that I owed them, due to some … "issues".  When they started to call the house and bother us about it, I went to him and said, "They're starting to pester me about the money".  He coldly replied, "So, what do you care?"  I replied, "Because whenever they call, it reminds of what happened and it reignites my anger.  Perhaps it's better to pay them and be done with it and then I won't have to deal with the anger".  He looked up at me and said (surprisingly), "Then work on your anger. Do not pay them" and went back to his learning.

So, even when you do have to fight, it should be with as little anger as possible.  Not only for the very obvious reasons of anger being a bad character trait, but for the simple reason of: you won't lose control of the situation or of yourself.

However, small things like what Rav Pincus said, happen nearly daily, and while they are extremely annoying at the time, in the grand scheme of things, any angry response will cost your more than no response at all.

It's hard to remember this lesson when things are heated, but when I person reminds himself of this several times a day, when things are not heated, the thought will be in his back pocket.

Have a wonderful Shabbos! 

Sometimes you can tell which children here have American parents, yet remain Israeli at the core.

The other day, I heard my two middle kids talking (not fighting or arguing, just talking).  The older one, my daughter, said to her brother in a matter-of-fact way, "You know, sometimes you're a real idiot.  I don't mean that personally, of course…" (it sounds even better in Hebrew).  And he just took it in and they continued like nothing insulting ever took place.

We have what to learn from Israelis.

"And they ate in a hurry" (Shemos 12:11).

In the beginning of our exodus from Egypt, things went a bit slow.  Moshe showed up, demanded our release, Pharoah refused, he made the work harder, etc. Then the plagues started, and while they took time, things started to change for the Jewish people.  The work stopped, the Egyptians started to leave them alone, soon, the Egyptians were afraid of them.  By the time the final plague hit, things were at "full-steam." Pharaoh himself was kicking us out.

The more Hashem showed His power, the more the Jewish people saw their redemption coming.  The more they saw their redemption coming, the more they desired to be with Hashem, who in turned showed more of His power.

In Shir HaShirim, Shlomo HaMelech writes, "Hark, My Beloved! There He comes! Leaping over mountains.  Bounding over hills!" (2:8).

On a personal, and certainly on a national, level, Hashem is always waiting for us to return to Him.  We often think that He has His "back" turned to us and is only, begrudgingly, willing to take us back.  But that's not true at all!

Ask anybody with a successful marriage what the key to that success is and I … I mean, they, will tell you that when the husband makes his wife the priority in his life and the wife makes the husband the priority in her life, the marriage and their lives blossom.

The more we turn and make Hashem the priority in our life and want to do His will as if it were ours, so too, He will turn toward us, with no less energy, and make our will, His.  The more we wish, and work, to join Him, the more He will reciprocate.

My wife and I were discussing something the other day, where she said something and I agreed with it.  Citing the famous Jewish saying, she said, "Of course we agree!  'Ishto k'gufo'!" (translation: his wife is like himself).  I agreed and repeated it in the first person, "You're right.  'Ishti k'gufi'".  Which translates to "My wife is like myself".  However, she, and I cannot POSSIBLY imagine how she got this into her head that I would POSSIBLY mean this, believes me to have meant the second way of translating it: My wife is like Goofy.

"I shall spread out my hands to Hashem" (Shemos 9: 29).

The morning minyan that I go to during the week (6:30 a.m.), isn't known to be the most popular one.  Unfortunately, many people come in late and rush or skip through parts.   At one point, several years ago, it was so bad, that there was no chazzan (or minyan ready) to start davening on time and we would be starting 5 to 10 minutes late every day.

Once, I got up after davening and asked everybody to start to come on time.  Not that I was personally upset that people came late (that's their business), but it was delaying the minyan (which is MY business).  Two learned individuals came up to me and reprimanded me for my request.  Naturally, both of them come very late (and continue to do so), so they were not so happy being called out on this.  One of them, somehow, even had the nerve to ask me where is my "source" that he has to come on time.  I showed him, he thanked me, and continues to come late.

I was more baffled by their reaction than by the actual lateness.  I mean … come on!  A person can come late every day to davening and still know, intellectually, that what he's doing is wrong.  It's a perfectly legitimate yetzer harah to have problems getting up in the morning.  I understand that.  But to be learned and not know this basic tenet?

Sefer HaYirah describes how one should approach davening: "he should come to shul and say, 'As for me, through Your abundant kindness I will enter Your house' and sit in his place; he should not open his mouth until he stays there a bit and thinks to himself before Whom he is sitting and Who is the One listening to him.  Then he should cloak himself with trepidation, awe, and trembling, and begin his prayers."

It seems that it's not enough to come to davening on time, but one should come a little bit early, sit, and think about Who he is davening to.

The Rambam (Hilchos Tefillah 4:16) writes: "He should clear his heart of all thoughts and see himself as though he is standing before Hashem's Presence.  Therefore, he should sit a bit before the prayers so that he can focus his heart, and that he should pray slowly and beseechingly.  He should not pray in the manner of one who is carrying a burden, and then casts away the burden and leaves.…"

Rav Shlomo Wolbe (Aleh Shur II, p. 350), "How much is a 'bit of time' [to think before davening]?  Five minutes would be a lot.  A person who waits even one minute before praying, and sits quietly in his place, focused on himself and on the prayer that he is about to recite, will see the wonderous results on how that one minute can affect his entire prayer"

While I perhaps am not a talmid chacham like these two individuals are, I think the sources brought above (and they are only a small amount) teach us that it IS important, not only to come on time to davening, but to actually come a whole minute earlier(!).  That one minute of contemplation can change "mumbling of words" into a proper conversation with Hashem Himself.

Once again we’re in lockdown. Sigh.

So, basically, small businesses will continue to go out of business. Schools are closed. And kids are home.   I understand why: the hospitals are filling up and straining the system.  Unfortunately, most of it is caused by people who just prefer to follow their rules and if they get others sick … well … that’s their problem.

The vaccination of the country is going quickly, as Israel is the world's first guinea pig to see what happens.  Personally, I’m not pro- or anti- taking the vaccination.  I believe something like this, everybody should be able to choose for themselves.  I’m leaning more towards taking it, my wife, the opposite.  I see why or why not and understand both sides.

Unfortunately though, the Israeli government is coming out with a Green Passport plan, where you get a "passport" that’s good for six months if you recently had Corona or have received the vaccination.  You can get a 72-hour passport if you take a test and come out negative, but with all the wait and planning, that’s practically … not practical. And in six months you might have to take the vaccine again.

This passport will allow you entrance into certain public places; I’m not sure exactly which ones.  But I am certainly not happy with a government forcing an entire population to take a newly created vaccine.  Even the socialist Canada, threw the idea out for ethical reasons.  Here, it wasn’t even debated.  That, and the fact that Israel is giving the drug companies ALL of our medical data, without permission … well … yeah.

So, you in the States have wackos charging into Congress.  Perhaps here in Israel we need a few of those.

“It is improper to do that, for we will sacrifice the abomination of the Egyptians to God our Lord. Will we sacrifice the deity of the Egyptians before their eyes, and they will not stone us?” (Shemos 8:22).

I was always bothered by this line.  Moshe spoke with Hashem one on one.  He started to perform miracles.  The national leadership recognized him.  And yet, he is worried that the Egyptians will kill him?

Rav Yiztchok Zilberstein delivered an answer for me from the Chasam Sofer, “From an ethical standpoint, it is not befitting for us to do something that we know the Egyptians will not be able to tolerate and for which they will want to stone us.  Even if we would know that we were in a position of power over them, with Hashem’s help, and they would be unable to harm us, we still would not be able to do so.  This is the meaning of the words, ‘It is not proper to do so.’”

The Mishna Berurah (1:5) writes: “The trait of brazenness is extremely loathsome, and it is inappropriate to utilize this trait at all, even in the service of Hashem, for it will cause a person to acquire the trait of brazenness and to utilize this trait even when not in the service of Hashem.”

Unfortunately, this trait is something that we tend to pick up when we become a little too comfortable in our host countries.  We see ourselves more as Americans or Israelis than we do as Jews. This past election, and the aftermath that followed, showed how some in the religious world have taken this characteristic that Trump has personified, and made it part of their own: taking on his behavior and brazenness, and making it part of their personalities.  Even outside of politics, there are some who do things on the fringe of the law, and while might technically be legal, certainly does not give a good impression to the neighboring non-Jews.  Had these Jews lived in Europe, where they could have been killed, they probably would have never done such things.  But now they feel comfortable, and don’t feel so bad about hurting or disappointing the non-Jewish world.

Israel too is no stranger to this.  I remember reading an article many years ago by a secular writer, writing about some in the religious world saying (not a direct quote), “All the while that you are fighting to be Jewish and not Israeli, your behavior is more Israeli than it is Jewish.”

We have an obligation to not only live according to Torah law, but to also make sure not to instigate our host countries. Whether you live in the United States, Great Britain, or Israel, we are still in exile, and behavior that instigates problems with the non-Jewish world is “not proper.”

I just got a good laugh.

The IDF’s official report stated that around 40% of secular Israeli’s don’t serve in the army at all.

All this talk against the religious for not wanting to join the army and making them “do their share”, etc.. is nothing but politics.  The religious world for years has been complaining how this is a one-sided affair where only the religious get attacked for not wanting to join, yet everybody is so quiet about how many non-religious don’t serve as well.

Perhaps it’s time to finally make a professional army with a sizable reserve force and stop all this nonsense.

Or would that simply take something off the table for the politicians to rally around, and hence, we can’t do that?

The Gemara (Yoma 23a) recounts a story that occurred during the final days of the Second Beis HaMikdash.  At that time, the honour of collecting the ash from the Altar was given to the Kohen who was able to run up the ramp of the Altar the fastest.  An incident occurred when two Kohanim reached the top at the same time.  One of them took out his knife and stabbed the second one in the chest!  Rebbe Zaddok got up and cried about the situation that the Jewish people were in, and everybody else began to cry as well.

Then, the father of the stabbed Kohein came and found that his son was not quite dead yet and was withering in pain.  And what did he say?  “Look! He’s still alive!  The knife is not yet impure!” (the Ritva writes that he wanted to pull out the knife to save it from impurity).  The Gemara then laments that we learn that during that time, the purity status of objects was more important than the shedding of human blood, and it brings in a pasuk from the Book of Kings that describes the how much blood flowed in Yerushaliyim during the reign of King Menashe.

A question popped into my mind: The incident took place during the end of the Second Beis HaMikdash, and as a ‘proof’ of the times, the Gemara brings a pasuk which is discussing the time of the FIRST Beis HaMikdash.  I was happy to see that the Ritva was also bothered by this.  He explains that the situation was so bad during the first Beis HaMikdash, that it had a very long-term affect and lingered with the Jewish nation for hundreds of years afterwards.

This whole incident, along with the explanation of the Ritva, gave me a bit of comfort.  Many times we see people getting all “frum” about certain mitzvos, or even customs, yet blatantly ignoring far more important ones (and ones generally easier to control).  It all seems a bit contradictory.  However, we see from here, and many other places in the Gemara, that “nothing new is under the sun”, behavior like this has been around for millennium.  After all… for a father to see his son dying on the ground and being all frum about the purity status of the knife… it’s pretty hard to beat THAT.

But another thing to learn from here is that many times these behaviors are not necessarily indicative of the individual, but rather could possibly be something that is a result of things that happened hundreds of years ago, and is still reverberating in our times.  True, we often might not see what those incidences were, but it’s still something to keep in mind.  There was at least 500-600 years between the description of the times of King Menashe and the incident mentioned in the Gemara, yet there was still a connection between the two.

Perhaps this lesson can be used next time we see such blatantly forbidden attitudes and behaviours from individuals or groups of individuals.  Yes, we all have freedom of choice, but still… perhaps there is an echo of long ago, which still has an effect today.

Have a great Shabbos!

My wife and I just celebrated our fourteenth anniversary.  Which is, quite frankly . . . strange.  We’re still trying to wrap our heads over the fact that we’re probably considered "adults" now, a title which I still refuse to carry.  And we’re happy that we came close to divorce only once (when we had the big blowout on what dessert we were going to eat one Shabbos. Thank G-d we compromised and ate both).    I was trying to think of all the lessons I’ve learned in marriage that have helped it continue, yet I’ve only come up with “Just shut up, Michael.”  It seems that’s the best advice I can give.  The more the man keeps his mouth shut, the less chance he’ll get into trouble.

Actually . . . that’s not true . . . she’ll still find a good reason . . . .

Okay, on to Torah!

The Ramban writes in the beginning of Sefer Shemos, that the sefer isn’t a simple history book of the Jewish People.  Rather it describes the spiritual nature of exile (Egypt) to redemption (the Mishkan).  We know that the Torah itself isn’t a history book either.  Rather, we learn lessons from it and directions in life.  According to the Ramban, then, if a person wishes to learn how to bring HIMSELF from his personal, spiritual exile to his personal, spiritual redemption, he should pay special attention to the lessons in Sefer Shemos.

With that in mind, I will be trying to learn Sefer Shemos this year, with a more critical eye.

“When Pharaoh saw that there had been a respite, he hardened his heart and would not listen to them, just as G-d had predicted” (Shemos 8:11).

I noticed an interesting use of language here: “. . . there had been a respite, he had hardened his heart . . .”  It was used in regard to the second plague, the frogs, but not, as I recall (though I could have missed it), in regard to the other plagues.

I was wondering why the Torah decided to use such a way to describe Pharoah’s reaction, when it became clear to me the lesson to be learned from here.

Often, we hear stories of people who have done tshuva after surviving terrible, traumatic, incidents.  They “saw the hand of G-d” in their lives, and changed things around.  Yet, we don’t hear so many stories of people who had smaller incidents turning their lives around.

When Pharoah saw that there was a respite from the plague, he hardened his heart from making any changes in his life.  This is our natural reaction to events in our lives as well.  When something occurs in our lives that causes us pain, we start to daven to Hashem for help.  Perhaps even promise to make some change in life.  Yet, as soon as that source of pain goes away, we stop davening with such attention, and our promises slowly slip away.  Until the next time something painful occurs, then we open ourselves to Hashem and daven that He takes it away, etc.  This cycle will constantly repeat itself. 

However, there are times when we have run in so many circles that we are sent something even bigger and more painful to deal with, and as a result of that salvation,  we see we truly keep to this new level of existence that we pulled ourselves up to.

Pharoah was hit with 10 plagues.  After each one, his heart was hardened.  At the beginning, it was easy for Pharaoh to harden his heart.  He got hit with something painful, he "repented," and as soon as things went back to normal, he returned to his old ways.  This happened time and time again, until finally, he lost everything and saw the clear “hand of G-d” at the Red Sea.  It’s interesting to note, that it’s a midrash (I believe) that says that the king of Ninvei (the non-Jewish city that did tshuvah en-masse in the Book of Yona) was Pharaoh himself.  And that is why they were so quick to do tshuvah, since by then Pharaoh finally learned his lesson.

From here we learn something about ourselves.  When we have smaller, painful experiences in life, it’s best not to let the “respite” pull us back down.  Because after so many times of going through that circle, bigger things might, G-d forbid, be sent to us, to force us to change our lives, since we refused to previously.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

• We are celebrating our 13^thanniversary this Shabbos.  Not bad so far considering the rising divorce rates, though, it wasn't always so smooth.  Once things got so rocky that we nearly had to end the marriage.  It happened one Shabbos night, when we got into a huge fight on dessert.  I wanted ice cream, she wanted cake.  It got so heated, that we agreed that we can no longer continue to live with each other.  In the end, we realized that nobody in their right minds are going to marry either one of us, and it’s probably best to compromise.  They say compromising is tough, and this case was no different.  We ended up eating both.

Phew.  A tragedy averted.

Okay, on to more important things!

“And Moshe spoke so, to the Children of Israel and they did not listen to Moshe because of the anguish of spirit and hard work” (Shemos 6:9).

Rav Meir Simcha HaCohen explains that they did not listen to the previous message that Moshe gave, promising them that they will be brought to Eretz Yisroel.  He explains that this was because when people are going through difficult times, it is hard for them to focus on future success.  They are currently suffering greatly, and their main concern is to simply alleviate the suffering.  All talk of future happiness, simply does not speak to them.  Anybody who has undergone any painful medical issues (childbirth for women, cold for men), can understand this concept.

When a friend or family member is going through difficult times, sometimes it’s best not to make comments such as, “It’s all for the best,” or, “The future will be better.”  Yes, those things are true, but the person is so focused on the pain NOW, that it simply does not speak to them.  Rather focus on how to ease the present pain, which will alleviate their suffering.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Michael Winner

Well before moving here, somebody put out a very funny piece explaining how to achieve world peace.  It was titled “Nuke the Moon” (really worth the read).  His premise was that bullies only pick on the weak.  They never touch the crazy guy in the corner.  Therefore, the United States needs to look like they’re crazy.  They have enough "nukes" that are sitting around collecting dust, so it’s about time they get put to use.

He suggested firing an ICBM at France and at the last minute, self-detonate it.  Two minutes later, the President would call the leader of France and say something like, “Hey!  We lost track of one of our ICBMs.  Have you seen it?”  Shortly after that, the United States should nuke one of its own national forests, and when a stunned world stares at the US wondering why we would do such a thing, we would shrug our shoulders and say, “We heard there was a drug dealer in there.”  Obviously, things get built up until we finally nuke the moon and the world thinks we are so off our rockers, they will stop at nothing to please us.

Welcome, Trump!

I said to my wife after his election, for good or for bad, most likely a lot of both, this will be one VERY entertaining four years.  Not only did he cancel Obama’s last minute money delivery to the Palestinians to kill more Jews, I was told he's planning on slashing the US payments to the United Nations by at least forty percent!

I heard the media hates him.  Along with half the country.  Along with all of Hollywood. Along with all of Europe.  I guess it’s a sign he’s doing good things.  So far in Israel, he’s a breath of fresh air.

In this week’s parsha Hashem tells Moshe to tell the Jewish people that He will give them Eretz Yisroel as an inheritance from their forefathers (Shemos 6:8).  Rav Meir M’Rottenberg points out that the word for inheritance, morashah, is used only twice in the Torah.  First, in this week’s parsha regarding Eretz Yisroel and the second near the end, regarding the Torah being an inheritance.

He explains that the inheritance of Torah is different from that of Eretz Yisroel.  In Eretz Yisroel, every person has his equal share.  However, the Torah is not so.  It is open for ALL to take.  However, how much of this inheritance he receives is dependent on how hard he works to receive it.

If a person is a Torah scholar, there is no promise that his son will be.  If a person’s father is not a Torah scholar, it has no bearing on whether or not he can be.

Each man and woman can take as much as they want from this inheritance . . . as long as they work hard to get it.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

This week we celebrated our eleventh anniversary, which is . . . weird.

I was personally hoping that this anniversary would be celebrated like last year: “Did you know that today is our anniversary?” “Yeah, strange, isn’t it?” “Yeah. Can you pass that diaper over there?”

I learned that morning that Steel is the official gift for the eleventh anniversary. Perfect! The recycling bins are made of steel! And she’s always begging me to take out the recycling! So, that morning, I proudly told her for our anniversary gift, I will take her to the recycling bins, since they were made of steel, and we have to follow this whole silly idea, since I can’t come up with anything else that’s good.

I was pretty proud of myself, since the house was a war zone, and there was no way she would be able to top it.

To my surprise, when I came home, everything was clean (relatively) and the table was set. She made dinner! Now, remember, we are a “lunch-based” society, so our main meal is during the day. I usually sneak in some rice-cakes for dinner, and here she is making a REAL dinner.

The children were going to be the waiters and serve us. However, they’ve never been to a restaurant before, so we had to tell them what to do. My eldest daughter wrote a menu, the way my wife told her to. Underneath the food, she included, “plates, forks, spoons, cups, napkins,” and I believe she charged us for those as well.

All in all, it was a nice anniversary dinner, even though the waiters were munching on food looking over our shoulders half the time, and she was VERY happy we went to walk it off with a trip to recycling afterwards.

Aw man . . . next year is linen or silk. Dang!

Okay, on to Torah!
Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein was once asked a question from a young man who was looking to marry, and had two possible girls he could meet. One was a wonderful girl who came from a very good family. All her brothers were well-known Bnei Torah in their communities. At the same time, he was offered to meet a wonderful girl from a very simple family who did not stand out as Bnei Torah. However, the girl herself had a great love of Torah and great respect for Talmidei Chachamim. Which one should he meet first?

Of course, we will all automatically say ‘the simple girl’, since we all grew up on Disney movies. However, this is a legitimate question. The Gemara in several places discusses marrying into a distinguished family of Talmidei Chachamim, and there is no question, that it IS nice to know that the future grandparents will be outstanding examples for one’s children. It’s a legitimate question, that needs to be thought out.

Rav Zilberstein brought a pasuk from this week’s parsha: “And Elazar, the son of Aharon, took for himself from the daughters of Putiel (Yisro, Moshe’s father-in-law), to be for him a wife.” (Shemos 6:25)

The Ha’amek Davar comments that the language “took for himself” is not a typical expression.

Yisro, somebody who, up until recently dabbled in all sorts of idol-worship, could certainly not be considered "great ancestry." However, Elazar saw greatness in Yisro's daughter, a greatness that would help him become great as well. That is why he “took for HIMSELF,” that she should be “for HIM.” Her greatness would help him become great himself. THAT is what he saw in her, and that is why her ancestry did not have any bearing on his decision.

Of course, such a story is applicable to all areas in life. When we make decisions, there are certain "external" issues that we need to take into consideration, however, the MAIN question is: if I choose this, will it help me become a better person than the other choices?

If so, than all other issues can fall by the wayside.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

Strange.

This email list is now sixteen years old.

Very strange.
“Pharaoh called to Moshe and Aharon and said, ‘Go and bring sacrifices to your G-d in the land’. Moshe said, ‘It is not proper to do so, for we will offer the god of Egypt to Hashem our G-d – for if we were to slaughter the god of Egypt in front of their eyes, will they not stone us?’” (Shemos 8:21-22)

It’s nice when you have a question that’s been bothering you for a while and you finally find an answer.

Egypt just took a few beatings and is on the verge of collapse. Pharaoh is giving up a little, and is allowing the Jews to make sacrifices to Hashem, but only in Egypt. Moshe replies, “Sorry, but if we do that, than the Egyptians are going to kill us for sacrificing sheep, which are their gods.”

So, the blaring question is: what is there to worry about? They were just hit with four plagues! Are they in any position to kill Jews? On top of that, don’t we have Hashem to protect us? He’s been doing a fairly good job of that up until now!

Rav Avrohom Pam cites the Chasam Sofer who asks this question and provides an answer.

“Moshe meant to say that when the Egyptians would see the Jews slaughtering their deity, they would become so infuriated that they would WANT to stone them. Since they had already been humbled by the four plagues, they would be powerless to harm the Jews. This would make their frustration that much greater, and it would not be proper for the Jews to do this if they had another alternative, such as bringing the sacrifices outside the city limits.

“This is what Moshe meant when he said it is not proper conduct on our part to act in a manner that will cause unwarranted psychological pain to the Egyptians. True, they deserved more punishments for their subjugation, but this type of torture was unnecessary.”

Rav Pam learns from here a very applicable lesson.

Sometimes a person will take on an extra stringency in halachah, and will practically go out of his way to flaunt it to show that he doesn’t care what people think.
The Mesillas Yesharim writes about it and said that if something is required by halachah, thn a person cannot hold back just because others will scoff at him. However, when the action isn’t an absolute requirement, but rather a praiseworthy thing to do, then it is a bit more complicated.

Obviously, in such cases, a rav should be consulted.

What we learn from here is the importance of taking other people’s feelings into consideration. Sometimes, we need to ignore those feelings and sometimes we need to bow to them. However, we see that even the Egyptians’ feelings were to be taken into consideration, all the more so, other peoples’ should be as well.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

I regret to inform everybody of the passing of Yossi Kalter, Chaim Yosef ben Rus, who we have been davening for over the past year. A 32-year-old father of three, he passed away earlier this week and was buried here in Eretz Yisroel. After speaking to his parents, siblings, and cousins, we were able to get a better glimpse into how he handled his final days. I can honestly say, that he’s one of the few people who fought tooth-and-nail for life in a way that a Ben Torah should.

A friend of his put together a website where his family members were able to keep everybody updated, and weekly 10-minute lessons were given via phone in his merit every week. A week before his passing, they posted a video of his asking people to join a new initiative where people would sign up on the site to agree to improve in one particular area in their lives in his merit. Within a week, he had over 500 people who agreed to perform one mitzvah in a more proper manner. He not only did what he could, physically, to fight his illness; but, and more importantly, he also fought it spiritually. This is how we should fight our fights.

Over 1000 people came to his funeral in New York from around the country. That in and of itself should tell you what type of person he was.

For those who might have some extra tzeddakah that needs to be given, there is a fund they are collecting to help his family: https://campaigns.10minutedose.com/chaim-yosef-kalter-memorial

May we only hear good news in the future…



Now… on to Torah.




This morning I heard a talk from Rav Yaakov Leonard, Rosh Yeshiva of Nesivos Aharon in Yerushaliyim. Technically, it’s from last week’s parsha, but since I’m the one writing things, I have the right to write what I want.

After Moshe goes to Pharaoh for the first time, Pharaoh dismisses him and orders the Jews to increase their labour. Pharaoh gives us his reasoning out-right: the harder they work, the less time they will have to think about their freedom.

Rav Leonard explains that this is a lesson for all time. Whenever a person decides to improve in a particular area in his life, he’s going to find great difficulty. The Yetzer Horah, like Pharaoh, will immediately launch his attack and he WILL bring a person down. It’s natural. When a person has a will for teshuvah, he becomes weakened. How can we see this?

Rav Leonard gave an example. Let’s say a person decides to work on his arrogance. For years now, his life has been energized by people’s praise of him. Suddenly, he decides that he’s going to force that aspect out of his life. What happens? He’s now weakened. His driving force in life has been taken away, and he now has to find a new and kosher method to push himself.

This explains the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos (2:1), which says concerning doing a mitzvah, “Consider the loss incurred in the performance of a Mitzvah against the reward secured by its observance…”

What loss is there? It could be something as major as one’s driving force in life! Of course, do mitzvos, but be prepared that there will be a loss and it’s going to weaken you. With that knowledge, you will be better prepared to face the Yetzer Horah’s attack.

And how will he attack?

Rav Leonard quoted his eleven-year-old son, who quoted his rebbe. Why did Pharaoh demand that the Jews now start collecting their own straw, in addition to making the bricks? Why didn’t he simply demand that they make more? The answer is, that when one is doing something year after year, it becomes rote. His body can do it, leaving the mind to think on its own. So, Pharaoh gave new work for the Jews to do. Now, they will be forced to do something different, and that will keep them off-balance.

So, too, with the Yetzer Horah. Keep your flanks covered! When you decide to work on Mitzvah A, the Yetzer Horah might not hit you straight on, and might attack on Sin C or Sin D, where you will be the weakest.

Now, we are hopefully better prepared in our war against the Yetzer Horah. Also be prepared to be weakened at first and always be guarded for unexpected attacks. With this, we will hopefully gain the upper hand.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Michael Winner