Bo

Last week, a member of Chabad was putting on tefillin for a teenage boy outside a very, VERY secular high school, like he usually does in northern Tel Aviv.  The principal of the school saw this and came out to scold the Chabadskir and the student, because "G-d forbid" a Jew should willingly do mitzvos!  He accused the Chabadskir of "sowing rebellion."  Interestingly enough, I believe that a half-a-year ago a large group of his 12th graders wanted to sign a petition stating that they refuse to join the army in protest against the Judicial Review.  Something he supported.

The day after the tefillin incident, a large segment of the student body (if not most) came out and protested against the principal. And as a sign of rebellion, many of the boys put on tefillin en masse.  I received a video clip of said "protest."  In it was a Chabadskir working hard along with one or two Sphardi men, full of tattoos, wearing tzitzis, dressed as they were in some gang (ONLY in Israel).  It turns out one of them is some big television/radio personality.  He personally supplied 20 pairs of tefillin.  They knew exactly how to put on tefillin and were helping out the boys who did not.  A good friend commented: It's ironic.  The elitist, secular, Ashkanazi (the model secular-Zionist of yore), is getting "one upped," by a bunch of "low-life" Sphardim.

The Gemara notes that one of the signs of the "birth pangs of Moshiach" is the increase of chutzpah in the world.  Usually, this is a bad thing.  Hopefully, this too counts towards that chutzpah.

A few weeks ago, I was speaking to a friend of mine with two very different sons.  His first son, well, he's a good kid, but has a big ADHD problem.  He's certainly no dummy, and he does not cause fights or damage, but he does pretty stupid things, because, after-all, he's a teenage male with ADHD.  The second boy, doesn't have.  He's a regular kid, who doesn't get in trouble and does what he's supposed to do.  Bright boy, but nothing too special.  Both are learning in yeshiva.  The first is learning in a yeshiva which, in theory, is designed for such kids.  And the second is learning at a respected yeshiva doing well.

The first is not happy.  His yeshiva is, unfortunately, not running smoothly and many of the boys are not happy there and want to move to another.  Yet (at least he understands this), they have nowhere else to go!  If they go to a regular yeshiva, they will only slip further down and possibly take others with them.  Of course, that's assuming they could get in, which they can't.

His father explained that if he simply had a learning disability, and that was it, he COULD go into a regular yeshiva and he would hire a tutor to help him along.  However, as mentioned, he does stupid things which lands him in trouble.  And no matter how many times my friend tries to explain to his son that his actions have consequences, the ADHD always kicks in, and rational thought gets kicked out.

I could not help but think of this situation in this week's parsha.

Time and time again, Pharoah refuses to give in to Moshe's demands.  First, Moshe gave a warning, then he gave a "simple" plague, then with each and every refusal, the plagues became harder and harder, yet Pharoah, even after brief periods of clear-headed thinking, always went back and made horrific decisions, which ultimately destroyed his own country.  Everybody around him saw what was going on, but he had something in his head, which kept him from learning his lesson.

And then I started thinking about us regular folks.  How many times do we make poor decisions, only to not learn our lessons, and go headfirst into more poor decisions.  Each and every decision we make eventually determines what options we have in our future.

My friend's first child has no options.  His job is simply not to get kicked out of his yeshiva, because he had no other place to go.  The second child was full of options.  His ability to behave properly allows him to have several options in his hands.  The first got himself stuck where he's in survival mode.  He cannot move upwards at this point, he can only hold his position.  The second has several options and can choose which option will help him continue to move upwards.

For a teenager with ADHD, we can all say, "Okay, he has ADHD, he's a teenager, he's a boy, he has the brain the size of a peanut; he can't help himself" and we try not to judge him.  But what about us?

Whenever we fail in something, we need to take pause and look over what led to our failure.  Was it because we made a logical, albeit, wrong decision? Or perhaps we made a stupidly wrong decision without thought?  Or perhaps the decision WAS thought out and WAS correct, however, Plans From Above were simply different than ours?

When we take that moment and review, we can then, hopefully, learn our lessons for the future.  If not, we can end up continuing a spiral of mistakes which will continue to limit our free will.  If so, we can continue to move upwards with many more options in our hands.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

My oldest daughter has a wonderful mix of being studious and not being nerdy.  She works very hard in her studies and whatever other "missions" she might have to complete, yet at the same time, she enjoys having a good time.  

And thankfully, some of her closest friends are like her.

This past week, they had a test to study for and they needed a change of scenery.  So, what did they decide to do? Simple!  They decided to rent an apartment to study in!  And if you're wondering how a bunch of sixteen/seventeen year old girls can do that, you would appreciate their solution.  They went to IKEA, looked around at some of the mini-apartments that are made on the showroom, found one they liked, and sat down and studied there for several hours.  All while enjoying the looks of people as they walked through, not knowing that the apartment was already occupied.

"And also the mixed multitudes went up with them" (Shemos 12:38).

I saw a wonderful thing from Rav Shimshon Pincus on this.

As we know, when the Jewish nation left Egypt, there was a large group of non-Jews who left with them.  They saw and understood which side to stick with, and Moshe allowed them to come with.  However, it was proven to be quite fatal, as they ended up starting several tragic episodes that took place before arriving in Eretz Yisroel.  Similarly, Shimshon, who was one of the Judges before the Beis HaMikdash; when he took Dalila as a wife, she became his downfall.  And so too with Shlomo HaMelech, when he took the daughter of Pharoah as a wife.

Each of these individuals thought that the time was right to "repair the world," by bringing together our world and theirs.  And all three cases ended in tragedy.

The Midrash writes that Shlomo HaMelech wanted to marry Pharoah's daughter on the day he inaugurated the Beis HaMikdash, joining two simchos together.  At that time, Hashem said, "Which 'simcha' should I accept?  This one or that?" and decreed that eventually the Beis HaMikdash would be destroyed.

So, asks Rav Pincus, if Hashem was angry about this arrangement, why did He decide that the Beis HaMikdash was to be destroyed?  What did the Beis HaMikdash "do" to deserve such a punishment?  Rav Pincus answers that it was because of the Beis HaMikdash, which represents the unity of Hashem and the Jewish people, Shlomo HaMelech thought that it was the right time to bring the two worlds (Jewish and non-Jewish) together in harmony.  Therefore, the "cause" of such thinking was to be destroyed.

Therefore, one must be careful, especially when on a "spiritual high" to be wary of "changing the world."  When on such a high, a person often mistakenly believes that since he has "seen the light," he can show other "less enlightened" people the "true path"… even those who are really on a higher level than he!  And in the end, he can harm other people.  Not only that, but he then realigns his life to his new mission of fixing the world, while turning away from his true mission of fixing himself.

I believe the lesson is clear... sometimes the only world we can fix, is our own personal one.

With that, I wish you all a wonderful Shabbos!

“This month shall be for you the beginning of the months” (Shemos 12:2).


Rav Chaim Palagi writes in Kaf HaChaim (34:23) that it Is meritorious to make a seudah on Rosh Chodesh for talmidei chachamim, and that doing so brings a person success and tranquility throughout the ensuing month.



Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein explains, “This month shall be for You." It is through the Sanhedrin (talmidei chachamim) that the months are declared and the calendar is fixed. It is through talmidei chachamim, that nature and time is controlled.



“The reason," says Rav Zilberstein, “that talmidei chachamim have control over nature is because they elevate themselves above nature by devoting themselves entirely to performing the will of Hashem."



When my wife was expecting our youngest, there were several issues that came up in the last trimester in which we needed expert advice and expert help. However, since we do not live in the center of the country, such advice and help are hard to get to. We did speak to several doctors and other experts in the field, but we were not feeling comfortable with what we were hearing. Given that there were halachic issues also at hand, their advice was not so simple. So, on a friend’s advice, my wife worked hard to get in contact with a well-known expert in medicine and medical halacha, and a close student of Rav Elyashuv. After telling over the information, he asked her to be in touch with him in a few more days. When she called back, he told us exactly what to do, who to contact, where to go, when to go, how to go, etc. If everything would go according to plan, hopefully, everything would be fine.



So, we did exactly what he said. And guess what! Nothing worked according to plan! Like … nothing. In fact, it worked better than the original plan was. It literally could not have worked out better even under normal circumstances. The reason it worked out was that we did exactly what he said, which put all the pieces together for Hashem’s plan to work out instead. It was really spooky to experience.



That’s not the only time we’ve seen things like this happen.



Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes you don’t see the brachos, or sometimes it takes a long time, but when you do get to see it, it’s quite amazing.



That’s why when my wife and I were discussing getting the vaccine, and our worries about being the guinea pigs for the world, we turned to the same talmid chacham (who told us to … which I did that day).



You can lose out heavily when you rely on the newspapers and television to make your decisions for you. But when you go to a REAL talmid chacham, sometimes they have an “in” that the rest of us do not have.

My son was just telling me of the recent trip his class took.  In order to get there, they had to go to the central bus station and catch local buses.  So, as they were waiting, the class got in a conversation with a soldier who was also waiting for his bus.  Naturally, they asked him about the weapon he carried and he answered all of their questions and proceeded to take it about to show them how everything works.

How different of an upbringing my kids are receiving (on many different levels) then what I have.  Here they are, casually talking about this assault rifle (or machine gun) asking questions coolly about how it operates.  A gun to them is nothing but something people use in defense against terrorists.  No connection to any other forms of violence.  No concepts of school shootings, stickups, gang violence, or domestic violence.  A soldier, standing around with a machine gun is nothing new in their lives.  They can simply go up and start schmoozing with him about whatever they want.

There’s something healthy about that.

Rav Yisroel Raizman once gave a talk on how the level of guilt a person feels about doing a certain sin is dependent a lot on how much they feel other people do the same sin.  If it’s a "popular" sin, then he doesn’t feel so bad.  If he believes nobody else does that sin, then he feels far, far worse.

Stupidity works in the same way.

Yesterday, I spent 30 minutes on a Chazon Ish, trying to understand what he was talking about.  No matter what I did, I kept getting stuck on a certain phrase which has no relevance to the halachos that I’m learning.  Finally, I got up, and asked somebody about it.  He looked at it, and told me that I was translating a certain word into Hebrew, when it should be translated into Aramaic.  With that new translation in hand, everything became clearer.

I didn’t feel so bad about it.  A few weeks ago, I learned the Gemara (Yoma 20b), which speaks of how “calling of the ‘gever’” would start the day for the Cohanim in the Beis HaMikdash.  The Gemara describes that there is a question on what this “gever” is.  Is it a person (as translated in Hebrew) or is it a rooster (as translated in Aramaic).  In fact, the Gemara goes into detail about a story regarding Rav who was speaking on behalf of Rav Shila.  Rav Shila gave over his lesson saying it’s a chicken.  Rav, when saying it over in a loud voice to the public, translated it as a person.  Rav Shila, corrected him, saying, “No, translated it as a ‘chicken,’” thinking that Rav erred in his translation.

If the writers of the Talmud can have arguments based on how to translate words, or even which language the word should be translated in, then I certainly can err in this regard and not feel bad.

The important part, when running into "walls" like this, is to realize “You’re not the only one making these mistakes!” and simply keep on going.

Have a great Shabbos!

The Middle East gets hot in the summer, and where I live, it also gets quite humid.  Perhaps "quite" is not the right word.  “Really” is better.  So, when Simchas Torah ends and you know that the winter is coming, you get excited.  Early nights, hopefully good rains, a drop in temperature.  Hot soup.

Then the winter comes and you realize, “Hey!  The house/apartment isn’t insulated one bit!  And, I need to leave the bedroom windows open during the day, so we don’t get mold on the ceiling!”  Then you get cold...really cold.  My wife’s cousin, who lives in Chicago, was just telling my wife how she and her husband were remembering the winters of Israel and how different they are in America.  Perhaps the temperature doesn’t drop as it does in Chicago, but it’s ALWAYS cold, and you can’t seem to warm up.  My bedroom, when I climb into bed, averages 54 degrees.  Mmmm…toasty.  It’s great!!  And it’s worth it when it comes with rain.  And this year, thankfully, has been the best year I’ve seen in years regarding rain.  May it continue!

When the nation of Israel was leaving Egypt, the Torah testifies, “And to all the children of Israel no dog barked” (Shemos 11:7). 

They say that if you pass by a dog that is barking and say this pasuk, the dog will stoo barking.  My neighbors father once told me that he and a friend were walking and a dog approached them and started to bark.  My neighbors father said to his friend, “Don’t worry, we’ll say the pasuk and he’ll go away." His friend responded, “I know that the pasuk works, and you know the pasuk works…but DOES THE DOG KNOW????” 

So, what is the big deal about the dogs' not barking?  So what if they did?  What harm does that cause us as we’re leaving toward freedom?  From here, says Rav Pliskin, that when somebody is experiencing a joyful moment, one should be very careful not to say anything negative to mar the occasion.

Before somebody, for example, purchases an item, and asks for your opinion, feel free to give it.  You’re helping them make a decision.  But after they buy it?  Don’t.  Don’t say one negative thing about it.  Just praise it and tell them that it looks great.  Because, at this point, the purchase is made, and all a person wants to hear right now is that he made a nice purchase.  Does it cause them any real, physical harm if you said something negative?  No.  But, you will certainly spoil their good mood.

So, we should always be careful to keep our negative comments to ourselves (unless there is a real need for them), even if it’s “only” to keep a person in a good mood.

Have a great Shabbos!

My wife has a relationship with a certain rebbetzin in Yerushaliyim.  Just recently, her grandmother passed away at the age of 100+.  She left SIX generations of descendants, and was given the physical and mental health to have a relationship with so many of them until the end. 

It was decided, when it was clear that her time was drawing near, to allow up to the fourth generation to be present in the hospital.  Over 150 people came, all of them frum, many of them roshei yeshivah, roshei kollel, kollel members, teachers, etc.  One baby from the sixth generation was allowed in, so the father could tell her when she grew up, she was there when her great-great-great-(great?)-grandmother passed away.  For the funeral, this rebbetzin’s children wanted to go to the funeral, and sought permission from their Rosh Yeshiva.  He ended up calling this rebbetzin and said that normally, nobody is interested in going to the funeral of a great-grandparent, but now a third of the yeshiva has asked permission to go, since they are all great- or great-great-grandchildren of this woman, and felt that they had a connection to her.

 What a bracha!

“And the Children of Israel went and did as the Almighty commanded Moshe and Aharon, so they did” (Shemos 12:28).

The Chagigai Osher writes that “so they did” refers to Moshe and Aharon (quoting Rashi) preparing the Pesach Offering.  The Torah, he says, teachers us that this is a lesson to anyone who wants to have a positive influence of others.  It’s not enough just to tell them to do something, but rather one must actually behave accordingly.

One of my wife’s friends was approached by a certain woman in the neighborhood.  She mentioned that so-and-so just had a baby, and she thought that perhaps my wife’s friend could make a Shabbos meal for her.  She responded "yes," and asked what meal this woman herself was going to make for the mother, so she doesn’t make the same meal.  The "organizer" responded, “Oh, I don’t like making meals; I just like organizing” (read: telling people what to do).  In the end, the new mother received only one meal, and my wife’s friend was left with a bad taste in her mouth.

One of the number one lessons in leadership is: a leader LEADS.

Have a great Shabbos!

Israelis can be interesting people.  I noticed that in the winter, no matter how cold it gets, some of them insist on wearing only a scarf, as if this scarf will magically protect their entire bodies.  Over the years, I’ve seen that as they grow older, they realize that there are things called “coats” that are available and easy to use in the winter.  Being from Chicago, I understand all too well the simple mathematical calculation: Cold = Cold, and one should bundle up.

I was surprised this past Shabbos night however.  It was raining throughout the whole day and even a little on the way to shul.  Right after davening, however, that rain turned into a sheet of hail.  REAL strong hail.  I haven’t been in such weather since I moved here.  It amazed me how many people were standing by the door, without coats (BUT with their magic scarves), waiting for it to calm down.

I was hungry.  I was from Chicago.  I came prepared.  I told my eight year-old son to suit up, for we’re going out.  The wind was extremely strong, and the hail was not letting up.  We had to yell at each other just to communicate.  At one point I didn’t hear him.  I turned around and saw that he was holding on to a fence for dear life as somebody who was walking behind us, was sheltering him from the hail.  I ran back and he explained that every time he lifted his head to see where he was going, he would be hit with the hail.  “Could we go wait in one of the buildings until it calms down?” he pleaded.  “NO!” I replied.  “We are MEN.  We do not cry over things like hail stinging our faces!  So what if your face is red and you can’t see a thing!”  So, we marched home, me holding his hand to lead the way, and finally made it back home, where we truly enjoyed our chicken soup celebrating our victory over the hail.

Okay, on to Torah!

This week I was stopped by one of my non-religious neighbors.  He had a question (this only happens in Israel where a secular Jew would have such a question): “How is it, all the plagues affected the Egyptians and not the Jews, yet, for the last plague, we needed to put up a sign on our doorposts so the plague wouldn’t hit the Jewish people.  Why did they need a sign on the last one, but not the first nine?”

Pretty good question, no?

The answer lies in Shemos 12:13: “The blood shall be a sign for YOU upon the houses where you are…”  Rashi explains that this sign was NOT for Hashem, nor the plague, but rather for the Jewish people, and contrary to all the images in our head, the blood was placed INSIDE the house and NOT on the outside.

Furthering my research, I saw that the Maom Loez brings in this Rashi and expounds a bit further.  The Jewish people had no real merit to leave Egypt.  Everything that has been done up until now, including the upcoming exodus was not because of the merit of the nation, but rather because Hashem made a promise to Avraham.  However, He wanted that the nation should earn this right on their own.  Therefore, He gave them the mitzvah of the Korbon Pesach (Pesach Offering).  When they are sitting in their homes, and THEY see the blood on the door, they will be thinking of the laws of the Korbon Pesach and  will be in a moment of true tshuvah.  With THAT merit, they will be able to leave Egypt.

So, we see the last plague did not need a sign to separate Jew from Egyptian.  Rather it served as a sign for US to be involved in tshuvah and to give us some merit to not only survive the plague, but to finally leave Egypt.

Have a great Shabbos!

When I was living in Yerushalayim, a friend and I would learn on the bus a little on the way to kollel every morning. When we moved up north, we agreed to try our best to continue to learn on the phone for 5 minutes. Thankfully, we’ve been able to keep up with each other.

This past Sukkos, he went back to the States for Sukkos, and I told him that I expected him to bring back a gift for me. This past week, he came up with his family for Shabbos, and actually handed me a gift he bought: a Luke Skywalker action figure!

So, I set up Luke on my bookshelf before Shabbos, complete with lightsaber in hand. My son picks it up and starts looking at it and asks, “Who is this? And why is he holding a blue stick?”

I was pretty happy with those questions. What happened next did NOT make me happy. Right after he was done, my wife looked at it and said, “He doesn’t look like Harrison Ford.”

(silence)

Okay, I admit. I was very careful in wife-choosing that she should NOT like Star Trek or Star Wars, because I wanted to marry somebody normal. HOWEVER, I DID expect to marry somebody who knew the basics in Jewish beliefs, and the fact that she thinks Luke Skywalker was played by Harrison Ford, is simply outrageous! I’m going to have to speak to my rav about this.

On a funny Harrison Ford note: Years and years ago, there was a well-known rav living in Chicago. Once, his eldest daughter, let’s call her Esti Ploni, took some of the younger kids downtown on one of the water taxis. As they were on the boat, she noticed that they were talking to an older man, peppering him with questions, and whatnot. She walked up to the man and apologized for the kids’ bothering him. He smiled and said that they weren’t bothering him at all, “and by the way, my name is Harrison Ford.” Not having a clue who Harrison Ford was, she simply replied, “Nice to meet you, my name is Esti Ploni.”

Okay, on to Torah.
“It [Pesach] was a night of guarding” (Shemos 12:42)

A question came before Rav Eliashuv.

Yonasan was asked by his friend to watch over his expensive candelabra while the friend goes out of town for Pesach. After the Seder, Yonasan did not lock his front door, as is an accepted custom to do on the night of the Seder. The Magen Avraham brings down this well-known custom in the name of the Maharil, stating that since this is a “night of guarding,” Hashem watches over the homes. That night, however, some thieves sneaked into his home and stole the candelabra.

Is Yonasan relieved of his obligation to pay for it, since he was observing this custom, or does he have to pay due to negligence for not locking the door?

Rav Eliashuv responded: The custom cited by the Maharil is great and exalted, and applies to everyone – for his own household and everything that concerns the person himself. However, when one is entrusted with someone else’s property, he has a halachic obligation to guard and protect that property.

Simply put: when it comes down to ourselves, feel free to be “frum.” But we cannot place our “frumness” over any halachic obligations that we have for other people and their property.

I remember shortly after my first daughter was born I went to speak to the Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Asher Rubenstein, about my financial situation. We were receiving no outside help, and my wife’s income was earned at night, while working in an office. Seeing that she would have to lose some income, I was beginning to worry about our financial state. After explaining the situation, the Rosh Yeshiva replied with, “You know, you can always follow the Rambam…” (referring to the Rambam that states that a person can continue to learn and rely on Hashem to support him…). To this I simply replied, “I’m not holding on that level…” To which he replied, “No problem! So, this is what you’ll do…”

Thankfully, I’m still following that same advice to this day.

However, the point is, my Rosh Yeshiva had every right to speak about faith and trust in Hashem. He LIVED it. He was not supported with outside help, yet he lived and learned in Eretz Yisroel during not so easy times, and successfully raised ten children in a two- (or three-) bedroom apartment. Yet, he never expected ME to live like HIM. The option was there, but he never expected his students to live on levels that they were not yet ready for.

So, concerning ourselves and our homes, we should strive for the highest levels in faith and belief (each on his own level). However, in regard to others and other people’s properties, we need to maximize our worldly obligations according to the strictest level of the law.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

There are some things that you really expect to have left behind in America, but somehow make strange appearances.

My son lost his first tooth this week. So, the next morning at cheder, he told his rebbe what happened. As Chaim put it, “He told me that I should put the tooth under a pillow, open the window at night, and then . . . either an akbar (a mouse) or Eliyahu HaNavi . . . I forgot which one . . . comes and leaves a present. I really don’t understand. If it’s Eliyahu HaNavi, he’s dead, right? And if it was an akbar, why would he leave a present?”

What makes this even weirder, besides getting Eliyahu HaNavi and an akbar mixed up, is this comes from a CHASSIDISH rebbe.

Well, it served as good entertainment.
“Come to Pharaoh, for I have made his heart and the heart of his servants stubborn so that I can put these signs of Mine in his midst; and so that you may relate in the ears of your son and your son’s son that I made a mockery of Egypt . . . .” (Shemos 10:1)

Last Friday was the first yahrtzeit of my Rosh Yeshivah, Rav Asher Rubenstein. The funeral was the night after his passing which happens to also be my wedding anniversary. It was quite surreal last year, to be standing in the room with his body wrapped in his tallis prior to his burial, knowing that exactly nine years earlier, he was standing under the chuppah with my wife and me.

It’s still a loss that many of his students are still trying to get over. A few have started an alumni newsletter. The first one was put out last week and most of the 36 pages were small stories and bits from different students of his. There was one particular line that caught my attention and still remains with me. One of the yeshiva’s students, not entirely known for seeing eye-to-eye with the Rosh Yeshivah wrote:

“I recognized Rav Asher's laughter. It was the laughter of an inside joke. He saw the world for what it was. Rav Asher knew he was never alone, Hashem was his constant, and never wavering companion, Who shared the world with Rav Asher.”

A very powerful statement that hit the spot.

This week’s parsha begins with Hashem’s telling Moshe the point of all the strikes against Egypt: “. . . so that you may relate in the ears of your son and your son’s son that I made a mockery of Egypt . . . .”

The point of everything that happened was that we should constantly tell over the story of Egypt in detail to our sons and that they should tell it to their sons.

This serves two points.

The first is one of the basic proofs of the Torah. Rav Avigdor Miller once spent time studying comparative religions. The only group of people that have made a claim that some big miracle happened in front of an entire nation are the Jews. The other religions of the world are based on a “miracle” or a “prophecy” that was witnessed by one or two people. Only the Torah makes the claim that the entire nation witnessed the miracles of Egypt and the giving of the Torah. One could not write the Torah and say, “Okay, guys . . . this is what happened, don’t you remember?” Nor can one write the Torah and say, “This is what happened to your fathers and their fathers. You don’t believe me? Ask your father!” These miracles that affected the nation serve as proof of the Torah’s authenticity.

That’s the first reason.

The second is something that Rav Asher lived to the maximum. He would say that in order to strengthen one’s emunah (faith) in Hashem, one must constantly talk about the good that He has done for us; both as a nation and on an individual level. By speaking out the good that He has done, one’s emunah grows. Not only that, but also the emunah of our children. He related that he has known people, talmidei chachamim, whose children stopped being religious. Why? He said that they never SPOKE words of emunah to their children, never spoke about Hashem.

I was discussing with a good friend of mine the definition of a “Ben Torah.” I’m pretty sure I have it nailed down as somebody who is constantly working on his Torah growth and is living with Hashem. The first part of the definition can be quite easy, compared to the second.

I once asked my rav, why is it that you have some people who can sit and learn all day and really know their learning well, real talmidei chachamim. Yet, every day they walk into davening late, zip through, and are the first ones out the door. Yet, on the other hand, you have others who have a head of wood, work hard to sit and learn, don’t remember anything, and yet all this time, work on their davening?

He answered that Hashem gives different gifts to different people. Some people get the gift that they have the ability to learn Torah well. Others have the gift that they want to grow close to Hashem. They are not necessarily connected, and one is either born with it, or has it given to him in his lifetime. Therefore, yes, you can have a person who learns well, but has no real interest in growth with Hashem in their lives.

Hence, a real Ben Torah, is a person who lives (or is trying to live) his life WITH Hashem’s being an active participant in his life. He is there wherever you are, and all the time.

How does one live with Hashem? By constantly speaking with Him and about Him. When you make Him your constant companion in life, He is always there for you, and you really begin to feel that there is this “inside joke” that you understand, but the world at large does not.

The morning after I read the above quote, I went to my usual minyan, and started at my usual time. I generally go and start a bit earlier than the rest so I can daven at a more proper speed. Thirteen minutes after the minyan starts, a well-learned individual (who once admitted to me that davening “isn’t really so important”) runs in, throws on his tallis and tefillin, and quickly rambles his way through davening. I have to admit, at that point, I felt a bit of the inside joke that I understood on my own level, that he was unwilling to acknowledge: Hashem is part of our day-to-day life.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

This past Shabbos, my Rosh Yeshivah (head of Yeshivas Toras Simcha), Rav Asher Rubenstein passed away without warning. He slipped and fell, breaking his femur during the big snowstorm, and he passed away ten days after the operation from post-op complications.

It was a big shock for thousands of people around the world.

Being that the custom in Yerushalayim is to bury the deceased the same day, the funeral was scheduled to begin at 11 p.m., after Shabbos. There are three of us living here who learned together in Toras Simcha, and one owns a car, so we packed up food and headed south. We returned at 4a.m.

We all have lost people that we’ve known and loved. Never have I lost somebody who has taken such a big role in how my life has been shaped until now.

Two things made it a little extra strange. Shabbos night, only a few hours before his death, he was in my dream, smiling and laughing, telling somebody that I was a good friend of his; second, his funeral was exactly nine years to the night that I was standing under the chuppah with my wife, while he officiated the marriage.

Rav Asher was known for saying things straight out (which many these days don’t appreciate). However, that specifically is why I chose his yeshivah to go to when I moved here. His honesty, humor, and warmth, earned him thousands of students throughout the world. Most students will honestly think that THEY were one of the closest to him, because he not only made them FEEL that way, but because they all ARE. When my wife called his wife to offer condolences, she started with, “Hello, this is Malka Winner from…” and was cut off with, “I know where you’re from! Every time my husband spoke with yours, he kept me up to date with everything going on in your lives!”

Not only is the yeshivah that he founded and its staff the central reason I am where I am, but also because of his personal direction. As a close student of Rav Shmuel Auerbach, Rav Schach & Rav Chatzkal Levenstein (among others), he was known to push people to stay in full-time learning as much as possible. He “strangely” believed that Hashem wants His people to learn and live Torah. In fact, one … institution…, who “lost” several of its students to Rav Asher, banned their students from attending any of his lectures or listening to his tapes. But for all his talk about the importance of staying in learning for as long as possible, he always advised people based on who they were. He has many “workingmen” as alumni who he was always in contact with. It was he who originally told me to start working at night to support my learning during the day. While he personally lived according to his level of faith in Hashem, his advice to others was based on their level.

A good friend of mine, when interviewing for the yeshivah, asked Rav Asher if he will get college credits for the year. Rav Asher smiled and replied, “Yes… you can get credits. But by the time I’m done with you, you won’t need them!” Ten years later, that same person is still living in Israel, learning in kollel, and supporting himself as a repairman at night. He never bothered to go to college.

Rav Asher’s goal was to create Bnei Torah who would excel in ALL areas of Judaism, be it in learning, davening, personal development, etc. He wanted TRUE development and was not interested in anything fake. In fact, the rule was, if you didn’t have a beard or payos when you joined the yeshivah, you were not allowed to grow them in yeshivah. He once told a friend, “Here in Toras Simcha, we’re not interesting in ‘yeshivish’… we want FANATICS!”

In case you couldn’t tell, this is all one big ramble. There’s so much to say, and I have no way of expressing it properly. Rav Asher was somebody who personally changed my way of thinking and the entire direction in my life. I have been in constant contact with him with questions or just to ‘keep in touch’, and it’s because of him that I have just entered my tenth year in kollel. It is because of him that my marriage is the way it is and that my children are being educated as they are. It is because of him I have a better concept of proper faith in Hashem and Torah. He didn’t just “preach” faith, rather he LIVED it, and he wanted everybody else to live it as well.

Every Thursday night for who knows how many years, Rav Asher gave a special talk to a group of people. Since I couldn’t come, he gave me permission to receive a recording of it; so for years now, I have listened to his talks every erev Shabbos, and many of those have been passed on here, and that is something I will miss.

For a more articulated essay on him, I refer you to an article a friend put together:

www.yoseftropper.com/rav-asher-zelig-rubenstein/

It’s worth the read and may we all take something from it.

“You will then be able to confide to your children and grandchildren how I made fools of the Egyptians, and how I performed miraculous signs among them. You will then fully realize that I am G-d” (Shemos 10:2).

One of the many reasons that Hashem provided ten, very detailed, plagues against Egypt was so it would be engraved in our hearts and we will tell it over to our children. Had it been a one-time event, it could have easily been forgotten. However, 10 months of ongoing plagues, is something that is hard to miss. Rav Asher would say that this serves two purposes in strengthening our emunah (faith).

The first is pretty straight forward. Most religions generally are started by the word of one or a few people. Somebody comes along, has a prophecy, and convinces others that he’s correct. Christianity and Islam, for example, cannot and do not claim that things happened en masse to their fathers and grandfathers. Only the Torah is so “bold” to say, “Ask your fathers! Look what I did to Egypt!” Torah, with such a bold statement, cannot be handed down from a prophet and given to an entire nation. What is he going to say? “Nu? You and your fathers were in Egypt and I gave the Egyptians 10 months of pure heck! What? You don’t remember?”

The second reason that we received such an abundance of miracles is as the pasuk states, that we should TALK about it to our children. The more we talk about the good that Hashem does for us, the more it makes a mark, not only on the hearts of the listener, but also on the heart of the speaker.

This is a wonderful way to help strengthen our emunah in Hashem, by constantly, on a daily basis if possible, going over some of the good that He has done for us, to remind ourselves of the personal miracles that we have experienced. When we speak to our children about the good that Hashem gives to us, THEY learn to look for the good as well, and THEY, in turn, are strengthened.

A strong “back-bone” of emunah will always be a beacon of light even in the darkest of times.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Michael Winner

This past Shabbos, my Rosh Yeshivah (head of Yeshivas Toras Simcha), Rav Asher Rubenstein passed away without warning. He slipped and fell, breaking his femur during the big snowstorm, and he passed away ten days after the operation from post-op complications.

It was a big shock for thousands of people around the world.

Being that the custom in Yerushaliyim is to bury the deceased the same day, the funeral was scheduled to begin at 11 pm after Shabbos. There are three of us living here who learned together in Toras Simcha, and one owns a car, so packed up food and headed south. We returned at 4am.

We all have lost people that we’ve known and loved. Never have I lost somebody who has taken such a big role in how my life has been shaped until now.

Two things made it a little extra strange. Shabbos night, only a few hours before his death, he was in my dream, smiling and laughing, telling somebody that I was a good friend of his; and second, his funeral was exactly nine years to the night that I was standing under the chuppah with my wife, while he officiated the marriage.

Rav Asher was known for saying things straight out (which many these days don’t appreciate). However, that specifically is why I chose his yeshivah to go to when I moved here. His honesty, humour, and warmth, earned him thousands of students throughout the world. Most students will honestly think that THEY were one of the closest to him, because he not only made them FEEL that way, but because they all ARE. When my wife called his wife to offer condolences, she started with, “Hello, this is Malka Winner from…” and was cut off with, “I know where you’re from! Every time my husband spoke with yours, he kept me up to date with everything going on in your lives!”

Not only is the yeshivah that he founded and its staff the central reason I am where I am, but also because of his personal direction. As a close student of Rav Shmuel Auerbach, Rav Schach & Rav Chatzkal Levenstein (among others), he was known to push people to stay in full-time learning as much as possible. He “strangely” believed that Hashem wants His people to learn and live Torah. In fact, one … institution…, who “lost” several of its students to Rav Asher, banned their students from attending any of his lectures or listening to his tapes. But for all his talk about the importance of staying in learning for as long as possible, he always advised people based off of who they were. He has many “workingmen” as alumni who he was always in contact with. It was he, who originally told me to start working at night to support my learning during the day. While he personal lived according to his level of faith in Hashem, his advice to others was based off of their level.

A good friend of mine, when interviewing for the yeshivah, asked Rav Asher if he will get college credits for the year. Rav Asher smiled and replied, “Yes… you can get credits. But by the time I’m done with you, you won’t need them!” Ten years later, that same person is still living in Israel, learning in kollel, and supporting himself as a repairman at night. He never bothered to go to college.


His goal was to create Bnei Torah who would excel in ALL areas of Judaism, be it in learning, davening, personal development, etc… He wanted TRUE development and was not interested in anything fake. In fact, the rule was, if you didn’t have a beard or payos when you joined the yeshivah, you were not allowed to grow them in yeshivah. He once told a friend, “Here in Toras Simcha, we’re not interesting in ‘yeshivish’… we want FANATICS!”


In case you couldn’t tell, this is all one big ramble. There’s so much to say, and I have no way of expressing it properly. Rav Asher was somebody who personally changed my way of thinking and the entire direction in my life. I have been in constant contact with him with questions or just to ‘keep in touch’, and it’s because of him that I have just entered my tenth year in kollel. It is because of him that my marriage is the way it is and that my children are being educated as they are. It is because of him I have a better concept of proper faith in Hashem and Torah. He didn’t just “preach” faith, rather he LIVED it, and he wanted everybody else to live it as well.

Every Thursday night for who knows how many years, Rav Asher gave a special talk to a group of people. Since I couldn’t come, he gave me permission to receive a recording of it; so for years now, I have listened to his talks every erev Shabbos, and many of those have been passed on here, and that is something I will miss.

For a more articulated essay on him, I refer you to an article a friend put together:

www.yoseftropper.com/rav-asher-zelig-rubenstein/

It’s worth the read and may we all take something from it.
“You will then be able to confide to your children and grandchildren how I made fools of the Egyptians, and how I performed miraculous signs among them. You will then fully realize that I am G-d” (Shemos 10:2)

One of the many reasons that Hashem provided ten, very detailed, plagues against Egypt was so it would be engraved in our hearts and we will tell it over to our children. Had it been a one-time event, it could have easily been forgotten. However, 10 months of ongoing plagues, are something that are hard to miss. Rav Asher would say that this serves two purposes in strengthening our emunah (faith).

The first is pretty straight forward. Most religions generally are started by the word of one or a few people. Somebody comes along, has a prophecy, and convinces others that he’s correct. Christianity and Islam, for example, cannot and do not claim that things happened en masse to their fathers and grandfathers. Only the Torah is so “bold” to say, “Ask your fathers! Look what I did to Egypt!” Torah, with such a bold statement, cannot be handed down from a prophet and given to an entire nation. What is he going to say? “Nu? You and your fathers were in Egypt and I gave the Egyptians 10 months of pure heck! What? You don’t remember?”

The second reason that we received such an abundance of miracles is as the pasuk states, that we should TALK about it to our children. The more we talk about the good that Hashem does for us, the more it makes a mark, not only on the hearts of the listener, but also on the heart of the speaker.

This is a wonderful way to help strengthen our emunah in Hashem. By constantly, on a daily basis if possible, go over some of the good that He has done for us. To remind ourselves of the personal miracles that we have experienced. When we speak about the good that Hashem gives to us to our children, THEY learn to look for the good as well, and in turn THEY are strengthened.

A strong “back-bone” of emunah will always be a beacon of light even in the darkest of times.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

There was a big philosophical debate in our house this week.

A few years ago, when Rochel Leah was quite young, I made a batch of scrambled eggs for her which she enjoyed immensely. For then on, scrambled eggs were renamed as “Abba Eggs”. Now, this REALLY irks my wife, since I’ve only made them two other times. She believes that they should be called “Mommy Eggs”, since she’s always slaving over them.

So, the other day, as the kids were enjoying their batch of “Abba Eggs”, Rochel Leah and Chaim were discussing what they should be called. Rochel Leah held the opinion that they retain their name, while Chaim wanted them renamed, since Mommy was making them. However, if Abba were to make them, then would the name change for that particular time?

It seemed to have been a long and thought-provoking discussion between the two. I’m not too sure what the conclusion ended up being, however, I’m convinced that “Abba Eggs” were survive.

Okay, on to Torah!
I was listening to Rav Shlomo Brevda, who passed away two weeks ago, on my Friday morning mikvah run.

He gave a parable of a millionaire, whose son was abducted by agents from another country. This millionaire went to the king (of course, there has to be a king in this story), who in turn, turned to his Secretary of State. This Secretary of State went to this other nation and was able to successfully free this millionaire’s son.

As the son was brought back to his home country, he was immediately brought before the king who was waiting for him at the border. The king welcomed him back and pulled out a contract, showing this person where to sign. The son asked, “What is this?”

“It’s a contract of servitude”, replied the king. “Since I’m responsible for your freedom, you are now dedicating yourself to me as your payment”.

The son, not caring which way or the other, signed the document. Shortly after, the king and the millionaire’s son rode the king’s carriage back to the capital.

When they arrived, the king told the son to take the king’s shoes and put them on the king, and then he was going to give the king a hot bath. The son, horrified at the idea, replied, “I’m a son of a millionaire! People like me don’t do such work!”

The king drew close and pulled out the contract. “It says here that you’re my slave… if you want to cancel the contract, fine. I’ll then send you back to the prison where we rescued you from and you can rot there for the rest of your life!”

Many people confuse Pesach, which took place in this week’s parsha, to “Independence Day”, where we gained our freedom from Egypt. This is only partially true. We didn’t gain our “freedom”. Rather, our servitude was transferred from Egypt to Hashem. We didn’t become free… we simply became free from Egypt, but we have a new boss now. And, as we have seen over and over again, if we want out of the contract, “Egypt” is given permission to strike us a blow.

We are now serving as servants to Hashem. We have a Torah which tells us what Hashem demands of us. When we come to ‘roadblocks’ in our life, when the Yetzer Horah is tempting us to turn from Torah, we simply need to ask, “What does my Master want from me?”