Ki Sisa

We originally planned a family vacation for right after Sukkos, given it was more than a year since our previous one and we would be expecting a baby a month later.  However, Hamas & Hezbollah decided to change those plans for us, leaving us without a break, and turning our favourite places to go, into closed military zones.

This Sunday, I had access to a seven-seater and I told the kids on Shabbos, that school was cancelled, and I'm taking them on a hike, which received absolutely no opposition.

We went to Nachal Tavor, located south of the Kinneret.  It's a 7.5 km hike, with a very full "stream" that you need to cross several times, hills, valleys, and a surprisingly large amount of VERY thick mud (we were hoping it was just mud, considering there were cows in the area).  It was so thick that when my 8-year-old pulled his leg up, his shoe decided to stay where it was.

None of us expected the amount of green that we encountered.  It looks like a filter was put on the entire landscape making everything super-green.  And the stream, thanks to the large amount of rain we've received, was higher and stronger than usual, making the idea of crossing it while remaining dry, impossible to do.  And every 50 meters gave us a new view of something.  Oh, and to make it even nicer, every step we took was counted as a mitzvah (the joys of living in Eretz Yisroel).

The hike itself, with a lunch break, took four and a half hours and gave us the break and the nature that we've been craving to have for months now.  If you can ever make it to Israel during this time of the year, don't bother with the center of the country, focus your time on the north.

If anybody would like a few photos, shoot me an email, and I'll be more than happy to send a couple your way.

Okay, on to Torah.

I ran into an interesting Gemara in Pesachim (119a) today that is related to this week's parsha.  Always a good sign when that happens.

We find that some chapters of Tehillim start with "Lemnatzayach Mizmor L'Dovid," which, I believe, is usually translated as "To the Conductor," and I'm not sure how that is grammatically connected to the actual word.  However, the Gemara translates it as: Sing to the One who rejoices when conquered." Then the Gemara asks, "Who rejoices when conquered?"  Obviously people, when conquered, are generally not in a happy mood.  However, the Gemara explains that this refers to Hashem, who is happy when others "conquer" Him.  And to prove its point, the Gemara brings in this week's parsha, when Hashem declared to Moshe that He plans to wipe out the Jewish nation, and start afresh with Moshe himself.  At that point, Moshe begs Hashem and argues with Him, that He should not do so, explaining why, in the end, it would be a desecration of His name.  At that point, Hashem "admits defeat" and reneges His threat.

Obviously, this whole episode and its explanation opens a whole can of worms for us.  Obviously, Hashem knew Moshe's argument before Moshe knew his argument, and Hashem knew that He wasn't really going to destroy the nation.  So, how does one defeat an omnipotent being?

This is tied in with the famous question, "Why does Hashem test us, if He already knows the results?"

One of the many answers to this issue is that Hashem sets things up, not to prove ourselves to Him, rather to prove ourselves to ourselves (and possibly others).  So too, when Hashem threatened to destroy the nation, he was setting Moshe up to plead on our behalf.

We're then left with, "Okay, Moshe can 'defeat' Hashem, because he's Moshe.  But, how do I have such an opportunity?  Hashem is not speaking to me directly."  Perhaps we can say that when a spiritual test is put in our way, Hashem is "in doubt," so to speak, about whether you can pass it or not.  After all, one can say if it was a given that you would pass or fail, you would not be given this test in the first place.  Since when are kids in 8th grade given math tests that are appropriate for a first grader or for a student in a university?  And by passing these tests, you are showing Hashem that you really are bigger than He might "think."  And it seems from here, Hashem wants nothing more than for us to prove Him wrong.

Just a thought that I had.  I have no idea if it's legit or not.  Just something to think about.

With that, I wish you all a nice and quiet Shabbos.

The hardest mitzvah to do after Purim is the mitzvah of getting rid of the chometz before Pesach.  Especially with all the tasty food you received.  Not good for the diet (or peace in the home when you take something she was saving)... but, who am I to question the Will of The L-rd?

Please continue to daven for Dovid ben Liba Sorah who is still in a difficult fight against cancer.

"And Hashem passed before him [Moshe] and proclaimed, 'Hashem, Hashem, a God compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in kindness and faithfulness…" (Shemos 34: 6).

The Gemara (Rosh Hashana 17b) states that "Hashem wrapped Himself like a Shliach Tzibbur (one who leads the congregation in prayer) and showed Moshe the order of prayer.  And He said to him, 'Anytime Israel sins, do this order of prayer, and I will forgive them.'"

An interesting Gemara.  And considering how many people "accidently" come late to shul on days where we recite Slichos (which contains this order of prayer), we have to give a tad more respect to it.

Rav Meir Aurbach M'Kalish noted something which should change how we view Slichos.  The Gemara states that before Hashem taught Moshe this prayer, He wrapped Himself up (in a tallis) and THEN taught him this prayer.  Being the main part, is that each individual, when reciting this prayer should "wrap himself as a Shliach Tzibbur does" and like a proper Shliach Tzibbur, should daven for the tzibbur (congregation), and not just himself!

Many times, people daven for themselves (as they should), but they are not always answered.  There could be several good reasons for this, however, a more powerful prayer is when one davens for others and not just for themselves.  It's easy to feel your own pain, but when you feel the pain of others, you "trigger" a similar feeling in Hashem.

I remember many years ago when we were living in Yerushaliyim, renting an apartment from somebody.  When the contract came up for renewal, he wanted to raise the rent at a much higher percentage than usual.  Obviously, I called him to discuss the situation.  He was a real mentch, and apologized, but he explained that he's in a tough financial situation right now, and he's trying to get whatever income he can to relieve the pressure.  I understood where he was coming from, however, I was not exactly swimming in money myself.  At the end of the conversation, he said, "Listen, let me look into things and get back to you.  In the meantime, how about you daven for me, and I'll daven for you, and we'll see what comes up." So, we gave over our names, and we davened that each one should get the financial relief that he needed.  In the end, he was able to work out a price increase which was fair to him and to me, and we were able to continue for a few more years.

While davening for our own plight is proper and praiseworthy, there is even a higher level of prayer, and that's when you pray for the relief of others.  In a way, you're saying to Hashem, "If I, a mere human, can truly feel somebody else's pain, for sure You can!"

With that, I wish you all a wonderful Shabbos!

A have a good friend who, for whatever reason, decided to marry a girl from England, where he is currently living.  His 18-year-old daughter decided to come to Israel for a week and spent Shabbos with us, which was a big honor.  Being that they came for Sukkos a few years ago, we've already met, and since he and I are so similar … well … things went well.

He sent me three gifts, none of which could not be ranked higher than the other.  The first, a package of 240 teabags from PG Tips, an excellent tea in the UK. Three boxes of root-beer flavored Mike & Ikes (which I had no clue existed). And last but not least, a simple card.  With a painting of a hippopotamus lying on a couch.

When he was in South Africa a  few years ago, he saw it and bought it with the intention of giving it to me.  His wife thought he was crazy for wanting to hold on to it for so long.   I was touched.  And it's now sitting on my desk.

A sign of a true friend!

At the end of one of the meals, I said, "I think it's time that we bless the Creator of the Universe for the bounty that he has given us."

My wife quickly asked, "Why are you looking at me like that?" to which I responded, "Because you're the bounty that Hashem has blessed me with!"

I immediately heard a groan from our esteemed guest.  When I asked what's wrong, she replied, "That's the same stupid thing my father says to my mother!"

Another sign of a good friend!

I saw another gem from Rav Yaakov Meir Shechter that I thought I would share.

According to the Zohar, when G-d wants to show us compassion, He first sends us a "gift," such as a poor person who needs our help.  So, when we show compassion to that poor person, that "enables" Hashem to show compassion to us, as the Gemara (Shabbos 151b) says: "Whoever has compassion on G-d's creatures receives compassion from Heaven."  When we initiate something below, Hashem responds from Above.

This is not only true with compassion, but is also true with other things.  In fact, He could send us gifts to save us.

For example, let's say we have been doing things that have not been oh-so-kosher and Hashem is "angry."  He could easily hit us over the head with something, or He can send somebody our way who will anger us.  If we restrain our anger, so too, Hashem will restrain His anger.

In this week's parasha, we see the Jewish nation sinning with the Golden Calf.  When Hashem wished to wipe us out, Moshe interceded and begged on our behalf.  The Gemara (Rosh HaShanah 17a) relates that Hashem "wrapped Himself in a tallis" and taught Moshe the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy, "The L-rd, the L-rd, mighty, merciful and gracious …"  He said to Moshe, "When the Jewish people sin, let them abide by these attributes, and I will forgive them."

Unfortunately, we go through life so often without thinking about what's going on around us.  Many times people, or incidences, are serving as a direct messenger from Hashem.  Having compassion or withholding anger, will not only help us improve ourselves, but could also change how Hashem sees us.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

After so many lockdowns and quarantines, my wife and I decided to take a small break.  I rented a car, and she and I went out for our yearly vacation, a few months early. 

The "highlight" of the trip was on the way back with my wife on the second day, on the road between Amuka and Tzfat, when suddenly one of the tires decided to get a puncture.  For a man with a woman in the car, this is a dream come true (if he knows how to change the tire), or a nightmare (if he doesn't).  Thank G-d, I know how, and to make the dream better, my wife clearly didn't believe me.  So, I get out of the car, using my manly "strut" to check out the situation.  I then unpacked the tools from the car and set up the jack and begin to remove the bolts from the tire, all the while thinking "I'll show her who's the real man here!"

Unfortunately, the wrench was not fitting the bolts and I could not move them a bit, putting us in quite a predicament, since we were on the side of a mountain on an unmarked road, with nighttime only a few hours away.  Thankfully/unfortunately, out of nowhere, somebody from Yedidim pulls over.  For those not from Israel: Yedidim is a volunteer group of frum car "experts" you can call and will alert one of their members in the area to come and help you for free.  In this case, he was coming home from work and just "happened" to take the scenic way home today.  Unfortunately for me, he was around my age, better looking,  in better shape, complete with a firearm tucked into the back of his pants, and of course fully equipped with everything needed for cars.  And to make things worse, he spoke English with a beautiful Israeli accent.  Hence, the "real man" arrived at the scene.  He looked at the tire, and started pulling of plastic caps that were covering the bolts, which I did not know exist (in my defense, he admitted, only a few cars actually have this "feature"), and proceeded to change the tire for me … in front of my wife, who was snapping photos for the kids of their fat, stupid, useless father, next to Mr. Awesome.

In the end, she complimented me on the way I pulled out the spare from the trunk and held it for him while he was fixing everything by himself. It looked great in the photos.

It was really humiliating.  And may no other man ever have to experience that.

This week's parsha involves the infamous "Golden Calf" story.  Each and every year I read over the parsha, I cannot help but remember the scene from "The Ten Commandments" with Charlton Heston.

What a terrible thing to live with.

Anyhow … this year, something hit me.  When Hashem tells the Jewish people to execute those responsible for this major catastrophe, we learn that 3000 people were killed.

Anybody think about that?  We have 2 to 3 million people here.  600,000 male adults.  Yet, only 3000 people are held directly responsible.  That's like 0.5 percent of the adult male population, or around 0.15 percent of the entire population.  That's it!  There are a few "spectacular sins" that the Jewish people are punished for in the Torah, as a whole, and this is one of them.  Certainly one of the more popular sins (possibly thanks to Charlton Heston), and only 0.5 percent of adult males directly contributed to it.  Even more interesting, afterwards Hashem hits the rest of the nation with a plague, with an unknown amount of casualties.

Recently, a few people came into Israel with fake papers certifying that they were "Corona-free" as, at this time Israel law will not let you in without it.  Unfortunately, these particular people were religious.  And naturally, it made the headlines in Israel.  Of course, the religious world's immediate defense will be: "Okay, these are what? Ten people?  And you're painting the entire religious world according to their behavior?"

And quite frankly, it's a very good point.  Over the past year there have been several cases of groups of men … um … taking advantage of … very, very young female-people, in ways which are quite immoral and quite illegal.  All of these men were secular, and you have yet to see an uprising against secular Jews in Israel for this.

On the other hand, we have this week's parsha, where less than one-half percent took part in this sin, yet the entire community suffers from it.  So, what exactly is going on?  We don't see Hashem making the argument, "Well, it's just a few bad apples, I'll just punish them and we'll forget about the whole incident."

I have no idea if this is true or not.  It's just something that came to mind.  If it's not, just forget about it.  But perhaps the reason the entire nation was collectively punished is not because they participated in it, but rather because there was something going on "under the hood," some spiritual blemish, if you will, that permeated the nation and was not being fixed.  While a vast majority of the nation did not take this blemish and turn it into action, it was not checked and fixed, and in turn, some actually DID take action based on this blemish.

So, yes, on one hand we can say, "Most frum Jews don't do this," but perhaps, we also need to look at things a little closer and ask, "How did this happen in the first place?"  Perhaps it is an isolated incident.  But perhaps not.   By the nation, as a whole, looking into our own faults, perhaps we can identify and fix spiritual blemishes, before they are made actual.

Well…if this is not the sign that Moshiach is coming soon, I don’t know what is. 

What?  No!  This has nothing to do with this virus going around.  It’s that the Israeli government has shut down all schools until after Pesach.  That’s right…we now have kids at home for the next month.  Public transportation has been cut, we don’t have a car, we work at home, and we don’t live in the most exciting part of the country (for kids).  So, I’m sure that all the davening of all the parents will surely bring him.  What makes things more interesting is that you cannot have any event where there are more than 100 people in one location.  This includes shuls, weddings, events, yeshivos, etc…  It’s interesting to see the wide-reaching effects.

Honestly, I’m not a fan of all this “Moshiach is coming” talk.  We’ve seen worse in our history, both long-term and short-term.  Don’t get me wrong, I HOPE he comes, but I’m not going to join this End Of the World routine.  In fact, as a friend pointed out, many people misunderstand what it means to us to want Moshiach to come.  People daven that he comes so there will be no more suffering and worry in this world.  He said that this is not the reason we daven for his arrival. We want him to come so he will eliminate suffering and worry IN ORDER that we should be able to properly serve Hashem.  The end of suffering is not the goal, it the means to the goal.  When we daven for Moshiach, we should be davening that he comes in order to serve Hashem properly without all these distractions.

So, aside from all this End Of the World talk, a (drunk, Russian) friend of mine came over on Purim and gave a small talk about it.  He compared this virus to the plague that hit the Jewish nation at the end of Dovid HaMelech’s life.  One hundred people a day were dying, so he instituted the halacha that a Jew should say one hundred brachos a day.  And with that the plague was brought to a halt.

Why one hundred brachos?  The more we bring Hashem into our life, the more He participates in our life.  The more we rely on nature, the more He allows nature to rule over us.  When a person makes a bracha (properly), he is thinking (and thanking) Hashem for a certain goodness that He gave us.  He is “bringing Hashem down” into this world and more directly into his life.  He is reminded that Hashem is watching over us constantly and is always involved in our day-to-day lives. 

What will stop this virus?  I have no clue.  What will keep us safe from all this economic upheaval?  No idea.  But, I do know that the more we recognize Hashem’s role in our daily lives, the more of a role He plays in it.

I wish you all an amazing Shabbos

My poor children.

We speak a mix of English and Hebrew in the house.  That being, if you came and you listened to our conversations and you don’t know Hebrew, you probably won’t understand a lot.  However, even if they speak English with an Israeli accent (so I’m told), they still know certain things that many Israelis don’t.

For example, my ten-year-old son just started to learn how to read English.  Somebody in the community, whose parents are American, has this method of teaching how to read.  It’s a group of six or seven boys, my son being the only one who speaks English “fluently.” The teacher is teaching the word “it," which is pronounced “eat.” My son says, “No, ‘eat’ is ‘to eat,’ ‘it’ is pronounced ‘it,’” to which the teacher disagrees.  “'Eat'” has two meanings, one is ‘to eat’ and one is ‘it.’"  My son decided that it was a battle which he was not going to win.

Poor kids.

It’s always a good sign when you have a question on the parsha in the beginning of the week, and somehow you hear a talk in the middle of the week that deals with that exact same question.  There were several incidences of the Jewish nation rebelling against Hashem during their 40-year sojourn in the desert.  The two most popular ones were the episode of the spies speaking poorly of Eretz Yisroel and that of the Sin of the Golden Calf, in this week’s parsha.

It hit me while learning the parsha, how many people participated in this particular sin?  According to the Torah, 3000 people were killed as a punishment.  Out of 600,000 men, that’s 0.5 percent.  Add women, children, and older people, 0.15 percent. Yet, we see Hashem telling Moshe that he wants to wipe out the entire nation and start anew with Moshe.  Something doesn’t seem right here.  Why should the entire nation suffer from 0.15 percent of the population's sinning?

So, Rav Soloman gave his thought to the exact same question.

Let’s say you had one trouble-maker in a shul, trying to start up with the rav.  However, the rav is very well-liked and respected in his community.  What’s going to happen?  The guy won’t get far.  If the community supports the rav, nobody will put up with him.

What happened here?  Aharon and Chur (Aharon’s nephew) tried to stand up to the trouble-makers.  So, the trouble-makers kill Chur.  Aharon, afraid for his life, tries to stall them until Moshe comes.

So, now you have 3000 people out of 600,000 men, taking control of the situation, and for whatever reason, the 597,000 are afraid to stand up to them.

When you have a generation where such a minority can cause such trouble and the community at large is apathetic, THAT is a blemish on the community itself.

The sin of the Golden Calf was not necessarily the incident itself, but rather the inability of the generation to stand up and side with their leaders against those who were willing to make an insurrection.

That is why Hashem had "thoughts" of wiping out the entire nation.  If they were unable to stand up for what was right, even if they were such a large majority, there was an issue with them on the inside.

Later, we see the opposite, when Pinchus, with permission from Moshe, killed Zimri when Zimri was off promoting immorality.  How was Pinchus rewarded?  A “covenant of peace." By standing up for Hashem (with permission from the leader of the generation), he saved the Jewish nation.

This is something to keep in mind.  In every generation there are those who are out to cause trouble.  Sometimes it is better to keep quiet, sometimes it is not.  That decision is for those bigger than we.  However, when they say "we fight," it is our job to fight, in whichever manner they choose.

Have a great Shabbos!

I hope everybody enjoyed their Purim.

My Russian/Israeli friend stopped by completely blasted with the amount of whiskey in his system.  He came with his two oldest daughters who served as his "bodyguards," you know . . . to guard everybody else’s body from him (he’s not fat, but he’s not small).  I gave him his m’shloach manos, which consisted of a bottle of vodka and a potato (fitting for a Russian).  He didn’t give it much thought as he opened the bottle and we did several “l'chaims” together, quickly polishing it off.  This was after two whole bottles of wine.  My wife was impressed that my liver survived.  (More impressed that I was able to clean the entire place and wash the floors afterwards, with the vodka very clearly still in my head.)

After he gave everybody at the meal personalized brachos, he proceeded to fall on one of the smaller tables, breaking it apart (after he broke the now empty vodka bottle).  He then gave more brachos and made my wife and me sign a contract that we will be hosting the meal again next year and have a new baby by that time.  Several other brachos for others were added for others on to this contract, so we’re keeping it to see how well his "prophecy" turns out.

All in all, everybody had a great time.  When my eldest daughter told her class everything that happened (minus his name), they all agreed that she had the most exciting Purim.  And that’s a good thing.

Okay, on to Torah!

“And the Almighty said to Moshe, ‘I have seen this people and they are a stiff-necked people” (Shemos 32:9).

Rav Simcha Zissel of Kelm was noted, “In the previous verse we read how they made a golden calf, bowed down to it and even brought it offerings.  But in this concluding verse we see that the main fault of the people was that they were stiff-necked.  That is, they lacked the flexibility to admit that they made a mistake.  When someone is flexible, even if he makes many mistakes, he will regret them and will change.  But if a person is inflexible, when he makes a mistake, he will not repent and improve” (Chochmah Umussar I p.258).

Anybody with children, especially sons, can come to appreciate this lesson.

When a person is willing to admit that what he did was wrong, that is the first step in improving himself.  However, if he is unwilling to do even that, he will continue to live his life blaming everything on everybody else, and never finding any happiness.

With that I wish you a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

A special thank you to those who donated last week. So far they have collected over $11,000 in a week! She is off the respirator, and I believe has just been moved out of the ICU, however, she is in a LOT of pain, obviously, and we should continue to daven for Sarah bas Dina.

May we share only good news.
“And the Almighty spoke to Moshe saying, speak to the Children of Israel saying, My Shabbos you shall keep, for it is a sign between me and you . . .” (Shemos 31:12)

The Chofetz Chaim gave a parable to illustrate how Shabbos serves as a sign of the relationship between the Jewish people and Hashem. When two people are engaged to be married they send each other gifts. Even if difficulties arise between them, as long as they keep the gifts that they received from each other, we know they still plan to get married. But if we see that they have returned the gifts, then we know that the relationship between them is over. Similarly, as long as a person observes Shabbos, we see that he still has a relationship with the Almighty. But if a person, as it were, returns this gift of Shabbos, the relationship ceases to exist.

Before 1946, members of the Haganah once used an open space near the Chazon Ish’s home as a site for target practice. One of the officers approached the Chazon Ish and said to him, “Rebbe, don’t worry about the shooting. These shots come from our boys.”

“I am more afraid of your shots on Shabbos.” replied the Chazon Ish, “than I am of the Arabs the other days of the week.” (P’air Hador III p.38)

How does one keep Shabbos properly? “MY Shabbos you shall keep." “My Shabbos,” says Hashem, “Not yours.”

Shabbos is not merely about not doing this and not doing that. Nor is it about sleeping one's day away. It’s about taking the inherent holiness of the day and using it properly. Shabbos is a day where we don’t have work, we don’t have sports, we don’t have the outside world. It’s Hashem and it’s us; that’s it. Yes, we use Shabbos to physically recuperate; yes, we use it to spend extra time with our children, but we also use it by watching what we speak about, our behavior, our learning, etc. The Shabbos table is not the Thanksgiving table. We sing zemiros (songs), share divrei Torah, and if we don’t during the week, try to say our blessings with a little more concentration and meaning.

By keeping Shabbos with its holiness, we are keeping the gift that Hashem gave to us.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

My wife was getting Simcha dressed this week, when she noticed that Simcha’s bellybutton was extremely dirty. She asked for a Q-tip and dug out quite a bit of black goo. Wondering what it was, she examined it and realized that it was chocolate! How did it get in there? We may never know…

Okay, on to Torah!

[Based off of Rav Shach’s talk in Ponevezh Yeshivah in August, 1985)

“He did not eat bread nor did he drink water” (Shemos 34:28)

When Moshe went to receive the Torah, the Torah testifies that he fasted for forty days and nights as he learned. Because of his willingness to nullify his needs and desires to acquire Torah, the Torah is often credited in his name. We sing, for example, “Moshe is truth and his Torah is truth” on Simchas Torah, and the verse in Malachi (one of the prophets) states, “Remember the Torah of Moshe” (Malachi 3:22). Don’t think for a moment that Moshe did not need to eat and drink for forty days straight. Rather, while he was engrossed in learning, his love for the Torah gave him the strength to survive for so long without food or drink.

A person’s learning should be his full time occupation. He needs to take out time to eat, drink, sleep, work, family matters, etc., but his underlying occupation should be his learning. When I was living in Chicago, I was once told over this lesson. It was explained to me that if I make my learning the main goal in life, in the next world I can “claim credit” for all my time at work as well. What does that mean? By showing that Torah is my life and my learning is very important, I can claim in the next world, “Listen, I had to work! I needed to make money to survive! As you can see, I woke up early to learn with a friend before davening, and I was in the beis medresh every night learning as well. In the middle, I had to go to work. If I didn’t have to go to work, I would be learning then as well! Therefore, I want that time credited on my account!”

Such a lesson left an impact on me.

The verse in Tehillim states “And he contemplates HIS Torah day and night” (Tehillim 1:2) When a person’s main occupation is Torah, it’s no longer just “Torah,” it’s now HIS Torah.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

My mother-in-law came in the other day for a week. Always an exciting time when Safta visits. However, this time she started to worry a bit. I rented a car and took Rochel Leah and Chaim to the airport to get her. At warp 6, it’s just under two hours each way, not bad, but tiring.

On the way home, we were sitting in quiet, while Rochel Leah and Chaim were speaking to each other… in Hebrew. Being that Safta knows negative five words in Hebrew, she started to worry that perhaps their English will begin to disintegrate (which it has) and that future children will barely speak it. We told her that we will do our best to keep that from happening. Being that they maintain a speaking relationship over the phone which her, and English is the spoken tongue at home in general, I hope that will not be too much of an issue. However, they do have that Israeli accent we’ll have to put up with… Eehhhhhh….. :)

Okay, on to Torah!
“Just observe My Shabboses, for it is a sign between Me and you for your generations, to know that I am Hashem, Who sanctifies you.” (Shemos 31:13)

Many people mistakenly think that Shabbos is a simple “day of rest”, where we are merely free from work. In the above pasuk we see in a few words which help us clarify what Shabbos is.

“My” Shabboses. Not YOUR Shabboses. It’s a day where we celebrate Hashem’s Shabbos, and therefore we are to do things that “bring pleasure” to Hashem. We also see the reasoning for Shabbos, “to know that I am Hashem, Who sanctifies you”.

If we think that sleeping in very late, sleeping all afternoon, sitting and wasting our time is the proper way of using Shabbos, this pasuk tells us to look again. We are to use the day “to know” that Hashem is in this world and brings holiness to us. How do we accomplish such a thing?

I would like to humbly suggest we look into the Shabbos night zemer (song) called Ma Yeditus. In it, we sing, “Its (Shabbos’) sleep is praiseworthy when sufficient to refresh the soul”. It’s the second half of the verse which is the key, “when sufficient to refresh the soul”. On Shabbos, the SOUL is the important part. While we do sleep more, eat nicer foods and treats, where nicer clothing, etc, on Shabbos, the point is not to gratify the body, but to bring it pleasure IN ORDER to help satisfy the soul. When a person just partakes in the physical without the spiritual, he’s missing the point of Shabbos.

Therefore, it’s our job to infuse the physical with spiritual on Shabbos. We sing zemiros at the Shabbos table, we could go to bed earlier and wake up earlier to arrive to shul on time, learn a little bit more in peace and quiet. To waste the entire day in bed, is just that… a waste.

I recently saw the Zohar quoted, saying that Shabbos is an opportune time to understand one’s learning. Every Shabbos, I try to review a bit what I attempted to learn over the week. Thankfully, most of the time, I come out with a much clearer understanding. Before I saw this, I thought it was simply because I received a normal night’s sleep over Shabbos. Now I see that it’s deeper.

May we use Hashem’s Shabbos properly that will give us the physical and spiritual rejuvenation for the upcoming week.

Have a great Shabbos!

Well… I think I can rack that Purim as one of the best I had (I could tell by how many hours of the day I was drunk).

It started off on an emotional low, and then finished off on an emotional high. It started off low, when I was walking the streets in the morning with my children and I realized, “Wow… nobody knows its Purim today!” (We’re used to Jerusalem, when you know Purim is coming two weeks before). It seems, the secular Israeli community “celebrates Purim” two days before Purim when they go to school dressed up as their favourite sports & movie stars. Purim itself, is treated like any normal day. I told the rosh kollel that I thought it was a Kiddush Hashem just to walk down the streets with my kids all dressed up, so people would at least know that today was Purim. He agreed and said it was all part of publicizing the miracle of Purim.

My emotional state further deteriorated when an older man stopped me in the street to “ask” me a question. It turned out to be a series of questions on why the religious want to tell him what to do, what to eat, to go to shul, cause problems on the busses, don’t serve in the army, blah, blah, blah… The most popular line he used in this “conversation” was “they say on the television”. It was clear that he had no interest in actually listening, but I did get him to answer one quick question, which was, “Have you ever personally had such problems with the religious?” He stumbled and admitted, “No… but they say on the television that it happens all the time…” So, I smiled, we traded brachos for healthy families (he was nice), and I went home, drank some more wine and said some Tehillim that his television should break and his brain should start operating independently.

The Purim meal itself was amazing. We hosted it (a first for us). We had 23 people over (including children). There were two Israeli families where the couples spoke English, two Israeli families where the couples spoke Spanish, a non-religious Russian university student who’s married to an Ethiopian, and an assortment of guests from the community that came in and out. It was really enjoyable. Lots of singing, dvrei torah, food, wine, etc… everybody behaved perfectly, and I was able to sober up quick enough to clean the house for Shabbos afterwards.

Okay, enough rambling, on to Torah!
I was very happy to see this week’s dvar torah in Aleinu L’Shabei’ach. This past week, a non-religious groom came to shul, complete with jeans and an earring. This happens once in a while, and in such cases, they are treated just like anybody else, and are given a warm welcome. I noticed however, that they had eight aliyos, compared to seven that is standard for Shabbos. It seems, the Chazon Ish (one of the premier halachic authorities in Israel from a few generations ago), ruled that a person who does not keep Shabbos, should not be given one of the regular seven aliyos, but rather an additional one should be added and he should take that one (Rav Moshe Feinstein is lenient on this matter, hence you don’t see such a situation so often, especially outside of Israel).

Rav Zilberstein continues and notes that the halachah is that a blind person is not given the aliyah that discusses disqualifying offerings that are blind or maimed, as not to cause an embarrassment to the person.

In this week’s parsha, you’ll notice the first two aliyos are super long. Why is that? Because they deal with the Cheit HaEgel, the Sin of the Golden Calf. The Cohanim and Leviim did not participate in the sin; therefore, in order not to cause any embarrassment to a regular Yisroel, the entire episode is recounted in the aliyos of the Cohen and Levi instead. Hence, the irregularly long aliyos.

We see from here how important the aspect of not embarrassing others is. If we’re careful enough not to give aliyos to people that might embarrass them, imagine how in other areas in life we must integrate this idea.

Have a great Shabbos!

My "Israeliness" is slowly picking up speed.

We finally bought a new washing machine this past week after the demise of our previous one. We were told that delivery would be 100 shekels cash, and that's that.

Knowing that the deliveryman was going to be one of our local cousins, I made sure to have the 100 shekel bill ready in my pocket with no other money in sight.

Sure enough, he comes, brings in the washing machine, and after I hand him the 100 shekels, he comes close, towers over me, and starts demanding a tip (which is not done here). When I first moved here, I would have been intimidated enough to give him. Now, I simply informed him that is was 100 shekels and that's all I have and all he was going to get. He grunted and left.

The key to survival here is not to become intimidated (they smell fear) and to keep your head cool (as impossible as it can be).

That, and don't be such a wimpy American :)

On to Torah!
"The children of Israel should safeguard the Shabbos, to observe it for generations; it is a covenant forever" (Shemos 31:16)

In this pasuk, Hashem is teaching the Jewish nation, that by safeguarding Shabbos NOW, we will be assuring that Shabbos will be kept in the future. What's the connection?

The Chizkuni explains that the word "shamor", to safeguard, means to anticipate the arrival of Shabbos. The key to the "survival" of Shabbos is to anticipate it. When one anticipates something, it becomes more important in his eyes and in the eyes of his children. This is especially true in regards to Shabbos, when we have many restrictions placed on us. When we don't anticipate Shabbos properly, it becomes a yoke and our children see that, but when we do anticipate it, the opposite is true.

I think our family does this pretty well. We start announcing that Shabbos is coming usually on Wednesdays and start talking about it. The children get to stay up later and have special treats and they understand it's a special day of the week. Because of that, there are no issues with any restrictions that come with Shabbos.

Just the other week, I was pondering this same point. Once over Shabbos, Chaim told me that he wanted to do something that we can't on Shabbos. I explained to him that we can't because of Shabbos, but we can do it after Shabbos. "Okay', was the answer. That was that. During the week, I most likely would have received a tantrum, but not on Shabbos. That is why it's not even a question for them that we don't listen to music or use crayons or markers. "It's Shabbos", that's all. There are plenty of other things to look forward to on Shabbos, we don't need those now.

By increasing our anticipation of Shabbos and increasing our simcha for Shabbos, we help ensure the continuation of Shabbos for generations to come.

Have a great Shabbos!