Tazria

I hope everybody enjoyed their Pesach break.

Ours was nice.  Busy, but nice.

My 16-year-old son has officially entered the "Israeli Teenager" stage in life, which means, the special "Hiking Hormone" kicks in (it eventually calms down when the person dies).

So, when he came to me and asked if he can go with his friends to a particular place, I had no choice but to say yes.

"There's no way to get there by bus, so how are you guys planning on getting there?"

"Simple. We'll hitch rides with complete strangers"

"Okay, sounds safe.  And what exactly is at this location?"

"A bridge."

"A bridge?"

"Yeah, a bridge."

"And what are you going to do with a bridge?"

"Jump off of it."

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense.  Okay, go right ahead," I replied, as if this is the most normal thing in the world to do.  Which it is, of course... if you're Israeli.

To be fair, said bridge crosses the Jordan river and is a popular place for Stupid Males to jump off of.

In the end, my particular Stupid Male did not jump off the bridge.

They had no problems getting rides from people, because that's what you do here, and he was able to make it there and back without any problems.  However, while they were on the bridge getting ready to jump, there was another Stupid Male there, whose wife was below, yelling, screaming, and crying for him not to jump, since the water level wasn't very high (my wife would have stayed silent).

In the end, they all, thankfully, listened to her, and instead spent the time swimming.

I feel that this is one of those "Only in Israel" moments that you simply cannot get anywhere else, and as a parent, you need to just let it go...

This week's parsha discusses the all-so-fun topic of purities and impurities.  When do people and things become impure, how to become pure, etc. Some of these impurities, such as the famous "tzaraas," are physical in nature, but have spiritual roots.

One of the signs that a person has this is when the hair around the area of the tzaraas will turn white.  And when he is considered impure, he has many rules and regulations put upon him, which separates him from the rest of society, until he can purify himself.

Fine.  Yet, we learn in a pasuk (13:13), that when a person is completely covered in this tzaraas, compared to localized places on his body, instead of being considered impure, he is actually labeled pure!  For those paying attention to the parsha, you should be wondering why this is so.

Rav Shimshon Pinkus offers a wonderful explanation.

The Rambam writes (Hilchos Malachim 6: 7), that in war, when you surround your enemies, you should not surround them from all four sides, rather, you should leave one side open for them to escape.

This seems to go against standard military logic. However, when you think about it, it makes sense.  When people are completely surrounded, they have no choice but to fight with all their strength and abilities.  However, when they are given a way out, they are more likely to either take the opportunity to escape, or fight until they feel that they have no chance of winning, and will then retreat.  Clearly, it's the first group, those that are completely surrounded, who are more dangerous, because they have nothing to lose.

One of the main reasons that the Russians fought with such ferocity against Germany, besides the fact that they were Russian, was because Hitler earlier on gave orders to execute Russian prisoners, rather than keep them alive.  Once news of this reached the Russian lines, they knew that for them, it was all or nothing.

Similarly, in the current situation.  In previous wars between Israel and their Arab neighbors, the Arabs were fighting to rid Israel of Jews or reconquer their land.  But, above that, they still wanted to personally live.  And that is why, in each war, the Arabs had no problem surrendering.   However, today the Palestinians have a "We Love Death more than You Love Life" mentality.  They welcome death and therefore will be more than happy to throw away all rules of war, making them far more dangerous.

But there is also a spiritual reason for this.

There is a general rule in the Torah: Hashem gives mercy for those being chased.  The Midrash writes, "even if the chaser is a tzaddik and the person being chased is evil," Hashem will always show mercy to those being sought after.

So, if the enemy is in their city with no way out, even if they are our enemies, they will receive an extra measure of mercy from above.

So too this person covered in tzaraas.  He doesn't have a little, he doesn't have a lot, he is completely covered in it.  Whatever sin he did to bring this on himself, it doesn't seem that he has even done teshuvah for it.  Yet, at that particular point in time, Hashem has mercy on him, and gives him the status of pure.

As I am writing this, another thought came to mind.

Perhaps we can learn this lesson a little further.

When a person is steeped in sin, whether it be all sorts of sin, or perhaps a particular sin he cannot seem to shake, and he feels that there is no way out, it's THEN, when he's surrounded by despair, does Hashem give him an extra dose of mercy, which he can use to pull himself out.  So, even when it seems that all is lost, one should keep in mind that Hashem gives mercy to those who are being pursued, even if the pursuer is self-doubt and guilt.

With that, I wish you all an amazing Shabbos!

I realized the other day that I never sat down and read to my youngest (soon to be 7) son.  I did with the older kids, but the middle son wasn't interested in being read to, so... the idea never came back into my head until now.

So, each day this week, we sat down and I read him a differnt story from a series of kids books we have written on the first books of Naviim (Prophets).  It's in English, so I have to change around the language a little bit so he'll understand.  But it's something he (and I) is really enjoying.  It takes what?  Seven minutes?  I'm getting a great return on such an "investement".

Something we need to always remember when raising kids.

I saw another gem from Rav Yaakov Meir Shechter I thought I would share.

When a person suffers trials in life, Rav Nachman of Breslov offers advice on how to approach the situation.

How so?  The first part is to actually acknowledge that you are having problems.  It could be with health, finances, with your spouse, children, friends, etc.  G-d forbid a person should have such issues, but if they do, they need to actually acknowledge that they are in pain.  I've seen this many times, certainly among baalei tshuvah, and most certainly among women baalei tshuvah, who think that by somehow acknowledging pain in life, they are lacking in faith in Hashem.  Rav Schechter says that this attitude is not only wrong, but dangerous.

"The first thing to do is acknowledge the truth of the situation as it is.  The situation is bad, the pain is real, and it is perfectly natural to be upset.  You should never try to convince yourself that a bad situation is good.  Absolutely not!  These thoughts are false, and G-d hates falsehood.  Admit the truth, for this is the reality.  And if the truth causes you pain, that is because 'whoever increases knowledge increases sorrow' (Koheles 1:18).  A person who denies the truth, who calls bad good and bitter sweet, who tries to be happy by claiming darkness is light and light darkness is fleeing from reality and choosing a false joy.  He is living in a world of fantasy."

During such times that we are in pain, we need to acknowledge that there is little for us to do.  When we realize that this pain, and also our salvation, comes from Hashem, that realization comes to calm us a little and ease our pain.

The second thing is to use the situation for growth.  Sometimes, we are put in painful situations to rectify a wrong that we have done.  And for that, we need to accept what we have received as such.  We must live through this punishment, knowing that these "fires of hell" are removing impurities from our soul.

Sometimes, however, these painful situations are to move us to another level.  In times of peace, we are able to use certain natural talents.  However, sometimes there are hidden talents that lie dormant, that we are only aware of during "times of war."  Sometimes a person's true greatness can only be revealed when he is under pressure and stress.

When we experience such times, it is good to try to take a "time-out" to sit and ponder our situation.  Perhaps this particular situation is coming upon me for a specific reason?  Perhaps it is to push me in a certain direction which I would not have thought of beforehand?  What aspects of my personality is this touching?  Do they need improvement?  Do they need redirection?

What's important is to realize that nothing comes upon us just randomly.  Even throughout painful times, Hashem is with us and is guiding us for the better.  And sometimes, if we look carefully, we can see which direction He wants us to go.

With that, I wish you a wonderful Shabbos!

I have a soon-to-be four year old.  He’s very "with it" and knows what’s going on in the world, more than most kids his age.  So, it surprised me when he started off with his newest shtick.  If we tell or ask him to do something, he will say "no."  However, if we ask "the frog" (in third-person) to do something, he’ll "hop" to it.  Usually, he doesn’t fall for such things, but it seems to work.  Up until yesterday, that is.

I woke the kids up at their usual time and went to make them breakfast.  I noticed that he wasn’t coming to eat, so I called out “Hey!  Where’s the frog!?!?”

He responded from his bed, “I’m dead!”

…

I was not expecting THAT answer.

Thankfully, he recuperated and is alive again.  Not a bad answer. 

I feel bad for this week’s and next week’s parshiyot.  They speak mainly of tzaraas, a type of skin disease which is a physical manifestation of a spiritual ailment (dang!  THAT was impressive English!)  And since we have no real concept of it, and the details are so many, we sort of quickly go over them.

However, there has always been one question that I’ve had, for which I’ve never seen an answer.  That is, until this week.

As we know, tzaraas was a white skin blemish, and depending on the size and hue, if a person has it, he is considered impure and must wait a certain amount of time before purifying himself.  However, if a person has this white skin blemish covering his entire body, he is considered PURE!  If anything, one would think that he’s super-impure, but, the Torah says otherwise.

Rav Pinkus quotes the Rambam (Hilchos Melachim 6:7) who says that when we go to war against a city and lay siege to it, we must be very careful not to surround the entire city, rather, we should be careful to allow the residents an escape route to flee.  I’m not a general, but this tends to go against sound military strategy.

What’s the reason for this?  Shlomo HaMelech states (Koheles 3:15), “Hashem seeks out the one being pursued” and the Midrash explains, “even the tsaddik who’s chasing the evil doer." In simple English: Somebody who is being pursued and cries out to Hashem, even if he is evil, Hashem will listen to him. 

Therefore, if a city is completely surrounded, and feel that all is lost, they will cry out to Hashem, and there is a better chance that Hashem will save them from our hands.  Therefore, if we allow them to escape, they will not feel that "all is lost" and will not daven to Hashem, and therefore, we will retain the upper hand.  That is one reason one should be careful about afflicting a widow or orphan.  These are people who have no support to lean on and are considered “pursued” by you.  If they cry out to Hashem because of the pain you are causing them….

This too is the lesson of the tzaraas.  When a person receives tzaraas, he is impure.  However, when he is completely surrounded by it, Hashem hears his pain and declares him pure.

This is a good reminder of how we should daven every day.  Whenever we fall because of the Yetzer Harah, we should daven for help as somebody being chased (after all, are we NOT being chased by him?).  When we ask help from Hashem, knowing that we have no room to escape without Him, there will be a better chance that He will help us out.

Have a great Shabbos!

We just finished a six-month “semester” in the kollel and will be returning in a month. Usually it’s a bit of a weird feeling. We live in a small community, so I’m still seeing the same people, except for all those who go away to family for Pesach, but it’s still strange, as if something has ended. This particular time was extra strange. For the past two-and-a-half years, we have been learning the laws of kashrus, all day, every day. So, even when we were going on break, we knew it was merely a break. Now, it’s putting books back on the shelf that we have been using nonstop for the past several years, getting ready to start something new. I would like to go back to this subject, since you really cannot learn kashrus just once. It’s a complicated subject that needs in-depth review several times over, but I am looking forward to what’s next.

The Rosh Kollel suggested we learn something “light” until the fall, such as the laws concerning mezuzos. And in the afternoon, we’re going to start our journey through the Tractate of Shabbos. Then, hopefully, in the fall, we’ll starting learning the laws of Shabbos, in-depth, for the next few years. Shabbos is supposed to be much easier to "digest" than kashrus (excuse the pun), so I, for one, am excited.
“And (the person who has tzaaras, (a physical/spiritual skin ailment) shall call out: ‘Unclean, unclean!’” (Vayikra 13:45)

The Shaloh writes that this verse can be read as, “(the) Unclean (says): Unclean!” Being that an unclean person will often accuse others of being guilty of the exact same thing he himself is guilty of. As a result of this imperfection in himself, he has an unconscious desire to bring others down, to make himself feel better about his own issues. The Gemara (Kedushin 70a) says, “Those who try to invalidate others do so with their own blemishes.”

Rav Zelig Pliskin comments, “One means of finding out your own faults and blemishes is to see what faults you tend to notice in others. If you focus on certain negative aspects of others, it is possible that you have those same tendencies yourself.”

We see from here that when we are finding the same, constant issues in other people, we need to see if perhaps we are suffering from those same issues, and simply, in the back of our mind, attempting to "calm ourselves" at the expense of others.

And on that note: I happen to think you are all wonderful people without any blemishes whatsoever!

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Michael Winner

My apologies for last week. My wife was down with what is now being called “The Alien Martian Death Flu” (no, I did not come up with it…one of her friends did). She was out of commission, leaving me to make Shabbos on my own.

Either way, I hope everybody enjoyed their Purim. We had four families together for our Purim meal…that was eleven adults and twenty-five children. It was really enjoyable. A few people dropped by, including a friend who was born in Ukraine, moved here and received a bris at 14, and has been learning since. Naturally, he was full of vodka, so we did a few shots and sang the Soviet national anthem (I had a transliteration). The token Breslov chossid from the kollel came and was likewise out of his mind. All the kids enjoyed watching the “shikurim” (drunks), and even Chaim testified that he got “shikur” on some RC that we let him have. All in all, it was really enjoyable.

Okay, on to Torah!
In this week’s parsha we learn about the spiritual status of a woman after she gives birth. One of the offerings that she is required to bring is a Chatas (Sin Offering), which one usually brings when they sin accidentally.

This, of course, raises a big question. Why does a woman have to bring a Chatas for having given birth?

Rabbeinu Bachya (Vayikra 12:7) explains that she is bringing this offering, not for herself, but rather for Chava (commonly known as “Eve”). Chava followed her desires, ate the fruit, and for that, all women were to suffer pains in labor. It was Chava who instilled in her offspring the desire to fulfill one’s desires, and for this women need to bring a Chatas.

From here we have an important lesson. Our middos, spiritual character traits, can and will be passed down from generation to generation, whether they are positive or negative. With this, we need to constantly keep in mind the impact our actions will have on our descendants.

Somebody I know is leaving the country with his family for Pesach, to go to their parents. On one hand, you can be a tad jealous that they are free from having to clean up and take care of kids during the vacation, which can get quite stressful. However, I realized that he, and more importantly his children, are missing out on a VERY important time for education. They have yet to experience cleaning their own home for Pesach, setting up for Pesach, having their own Seder, etc… While his children will be running around playing with their cousins during the Seder, ours will be AT the Seder, since it’s geared towards them (last year, they sat at the table until 12:30 a.m.), and will be participating and learning (which is exactly what the Seder is about).

It’s very easy to forget, in our hectic days, that we have an ongoing obligation to educate our children. It might not be easy, but the obligation remains. By working on ourselves and our personal growth, we are developing spiritual “genes” to pass on to the next generation, and by taking the foremost role in our children’s education, we can help them grow into Bnei Torah.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Michael Winner

I can’t believe we found it.

There’s a kosher pizza place here!

Not necessarily a restaurant or a stand… but it turns out somebody makes pizza in their homes, using only hechsharim (kashrus certifications) that are used by the evil Ultra-Orthodox community, and sells it with free delivery.

Still, after hearing this originally, I was a tad weary. Who was this guy? Can he be trusted?

So, I did a little research and I found out he was somebody well known in the community, very frum, could certainly be trusted, and makes excellent pizza.

So, this Sunday, we decided to try it out. We called up, put in our order and an hour and a half later, we receive a phone call that he’s right outside.

I go outside with the kids and see a sfardi guy with a trimmed beard, blue shirt, sitting in a Bezeq (phone company) car, with my pizza. I stopped, looked at him, and said, “Bezeq?!?!? I had no idea who you were and I asked around the community about you! Everybody tells me, ‘Of course he can be trusted! He’s very learned and is yorei shamiyim (has fear of Heaven)’, and now, you’re telling me YOU’RE THE PHONE GUY???”

He broke out with a big smile and said, “Bezeq Pizza! Anything’s possible!”

And boy, was it good!

Okay, on to Torah!


“And the Cohen shall see him on the seventh day” (Vayikra 13:5)

When there is a question whether or not a person has been inflicted by the “skin infection”, called tzoraas, one of the first things he does is call a Cohen. Only the Cohen has the power to declare it tzoraas or simply a regular skin infection.

Why specifically a Cohen? Why not go to your local doctor? Because the Cohanim were the teachers of the nation and tended to be more in touch with the spiritual side. Not only would they look at the physical symptoms that the person was suffering with, but they would work with that person to see what the spiritual causes were that caused the tzoraas to form.

We see from here the importance of having a rav, rebbetzin, or somebody else of “higher spiritual caliber” to speak to during troublesome times. Obviously, that means we also need to be open to constructive criticism and to be accepting of the truth. With that, hopefully, we can internalize whatever spiritual message Hashem was sending us, and not only come away clean from our ”tzoraas”, but also come out a better Jew.

Have a great Shabbos!

In this week, and next week's parshos, the Torah deals with spiritual blemishes which take a physical form on a human being or any objects or property that he owns. The physical manifestation of this spiritual blemish is calls tzarras.

When a person detects such a blemish, he calls over his local Cohen to give an official diagnosis. If the Cohen sees that it's a spiritual issue, he rules that it's tzarras, and the 'patient' now has a impure spiritual status. If the Cohen sees that it's a simple scab or just a regular physical issue, then he is pure. If the Cohen can't tell, he waits, and comes back in a week to see if this has grown or not.

The Chizkuni writes that the reason the Cohen takes a week long break is because it is difficult to see small growth within a small amount of time. When the Cohen takes a break and comes back, he's able to see such growth.

One of the methods the Yetzer Horah employs against us is that we expect instant growth, especially when we are inspired to grow. After a little bit, when we see that we haven't achieved anything, we become depressed.

There are no quick jumps in spirituality. Actually... I can think of one case, but it resulted in the person dying in the end, so we won't cover that option.

The key to successful spiritual growth is endurance. True spiritual growth takes time, patience, and a lot of sweat. While you can't look at yourself week to week, you can look at yourself year to year.

My Rosh Yeshiva recalled once a young man who had a head "thick as wood". It was known in the yeshiva that he had the hardest time understanding the basics of the Gemara, yet he sat there day after day, month after month, year after year. Today, he said, he finished the entire Babylonian Talmud in depth and knows it cold (NOT an easy task).

One of the arguments made against so many people learning today in kollel, is that we should take only the brightest and talented people and let them learn full time while everybody else should work. But how do we know who's "set" for such a position? If somebody doesn't have the head to sit and learn all day at twenty-five, who said five to ten years of hard work won't change that? If somebody shows that he has the ability to sit and learn, even if he’s not the brightest, he will go far. A rav of mine once told me, “After 20 years in business, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be successful. Sit and learn with patience for 20 years… you’ll be a talmid chacham.”

Spiritual growth and character refinement is no different than learning. By taking your time and being patient with your growth, you’ll see a difference over the long run.

My chavrusa's brother in law was recently speaking with a police officer. The officer told him that he came from a non religious background and on his own became religious. He married, had children, and moved to Hebron.

One Shabbos, an Arab came into the house, shot his wife, son, and daughter. Unfortunately, while his wife and son survived, his daughter was killed. He said at that point, he was considering leaving all religion behind, so great was his depression.

Shortly after the incident, there was a thwarted terrorist attack. The plan was to involve the gas lines, and the minimum casualties estimated would be 60,000 people, if successfully carried out. They were very close to carrying it out successfully before being stopped.

A few days later, he received a phone call from a Chossid from Meah Shaarim. The man told him that for several weeks he was having dreams of a girl with a smile on her face, dancing on piles corpses. He couldn't understand it and it was happening every night. He went to his Rebbe (I don't know which one, but obviously one of the bigger ones), who told him that when the dreams stop, he'll understand the meaning. The dreams finally stopped on the day that attack was thwarted. At that time, he saw the picture in the paper of the policeman's daughter who was killed shortly beforehand, and recognized her from his dream. He went back to his Rebbe who told him that it was obvious that this girl was the korban, the sacrifice that saved so many thousands of people shortly after.

Needless to say, the policeman remains frum to the day.

Only in Israel.
"Then the Cohen shall command that they empty the house, before the Cohen goes into it to see the plague, so that all that is in the house will not be made unclean, and afterwards the Cohen shall go in to see the house" (Vayikra 14:36)

Tzoraas was a blemish that could hit a person, object, or even a house. The cause is spiritual and is often a result of loshon horah. When a house is confirmed by the Cohen to have tzoraas, not only is the house to be contaminated with impurity, but also any object inside. While most objects can become purified, any earthenware product must be destroyed.

Rashi tells us that the reason that the Cohen first orders all the objects to be removed, is so when he declares the house impure, those objects will no longer be inside and will remain in their pure state. We see that even though we are being punished, Hashem is careful not to cause us unnecessary financial loss.

Rav Pliskin brings in a story of the Steipler Gaon who once went to a store to find a lulav. Not finding anything that satisfied him, he walked out. Within a few seconds, he turned around, went back in, and bought a lulav. On his way out the second time he explained to a relative who was with him, that if people saw him leave the store empty handed, they might erroneously think that there weren't any kosher lulavim and would not shop there. Therefore, he made it a point to buy a lulav there.

With that, I wish you a good Shabbos!

A very interesting battle is now under way in Jerusalem. One of the big supermarkets, called Shefa Shuk, has a large percentage of clientele who are “ultra”-Orthodox Jews. Their parent company just decided to open a whole slew of stores on Shabbos, which will encourage other non-religious store owners to open their stores on Shabbos as well, fearing the competition. So what happened?

The religious public decided on their own to boycott Shefa Shuk… right before Pesach, which is a huge money maker ($56,000 an hour). There is one by my yeshiva where I did all my major shopping at, and now it’s empty, since nobody goes. The entire community now goes out of their way to shop at other places, hoping the pressure will force their parent company to stand down on their attack against Shabbos. But what was more impressive was the owner of the Shefa Shuk branch, who himself is “ultra”-Orthodox. On his own initiative after consulting with several rabbeim, he resigned from his post.

He said, “It isn’t easy to give up such a prestigious position. It’s the dream of everyone who works in this business to be able to sit in the executive boardroom of Blue Square [the holding company that owns Shefa Shuk], which has a turnover of billions…I believe that the current situation hurts all the sides and it would be a shame for the chareidi community to lose this great place to shop, but a person who understands kedushas (the holiness of) Shabbos and believes in the fealty to Gedolei Yisroel (Jewish leaders) really doesn’t have much choice, and it is incumbent upon him to do as instructed”

This is standing up for Shabbos, both on a communal level and an individual level. The spiritual battle for Eretz Yisroel continues…

Okay, on to Torah!
“And the Cohen shall see him on the seventh day” (Vayikra 13:5)

When a person contracts what he thinks is tzoraas, a spiritual skin affliction usual resulting from speaking loshon horah, he needs to go to his local Cohen. The Cohen will look at it and based off of his assessment will declare it tzoraas, making the person spiritual unclean; or a simple skin blemish, meaning he has to shower more.

If it was tzoraas, the Sforno notes, the Cohen would advise the person who was afflicted what they need to do, spiritually speaking, to rid themselves of it. On top of that, they would then pray on behalf of that person that he should come to complete tshuvah and that his affliction should disappear.

Suffering is a part of life. However, it’s important to understand that suffering is not random. Each thing that causes a person to suffer has a spiritual cause to it, which is not so easy to detect. When a person is hit with hard times, he should go to his local “Cohen”, a spiritual guide of high caliber, and go over what he needs to do to rid himself of that affliction. People who are steeped in Torah and are bnei Torah, will be able to ‘detect’ glimpses of what is spiritually wrong with that person, will help them out, and daven on their behalf.

A little trip and a little humility is a small price to pay to help relieve one’s afflictions.

Have a great Shabbos!

Greetings from sunny Jerusalem. Temperatures are currently in the 70s, with not a cloud in sight.

I've recently received my latest copy of the Women's Seder Hagaddah. As veterans of this site know, I'm a big fan of it. I still have one that the Hillel at UIC gave me. My main question was always this. Pesach has nothing to do with any differences between men and women. The obligations, for the most part, are the same, and everyone participates equally. Why was Pesach chosen to be the holiday to have a Women's Seder. And what would these same women think if I chose to have a Men's Seder? I don't know... I do know however, that the latest Women's Hagaddah has far more hatred for men folk than ever before. Now, according to these folks, I'm a right-wing, black-hatted, flag-burning, woman-abusing, kollel-learning, chareidi (SUPER ULTRA-Orthodox) bum, suckling off of society (somehow).

Now, perhaps, it's because I'm not a professional chareidi, but when it comes down to day-to-day halacha, the Mrs. can run circles around me, depending on the issue. While she is a tad shorter than I, I couldn't lay a hand on her for fear of violent reprisals. This morning, since she doesn't have work, she got to sleep in, since women are not obligated to daven by an early time in the morning, while I had to crawl out of bed and make sure I don't fall asleep during 50 minutes of shachris. And of course, I spend much of my home time doing dishes. When I make decrees in the home, she laughs me off and tells me to go do the dishes. When she makes decrees in the home, I go cower in the corner, followed by the doing of the dishes. So what is this about women bashing that I'm 'guilty' of? Why is it, the other guys in the kollel have similar relationships with their wives? Why must I be excluded from the Women's Seder because I was born male? Why must I be discriminated against? Isn't equality something that we all want? What's that? Okay fine.... I have to start writing the dvar torah now... I have a sink full of dishes waiting for me. So, on to Torah!

"When a woman conceives and gives birth to a male, she shall be impure for a period of seven days" (Vayikra 12:2)

Certainly during the times of the Beis Hamikdash, and in more limited ways today, both men and women went could become 'impure' for several reasons. Whether it is through touching a human or animal corpse, giving birth, 'that time of the month', touching certain creepy-crawlies, coming into contact with another impure person, etc. All of these halachos are extremely complicated, and as mentioned, most do not apply today.

In last week's parsha we dealt with the issues of which animals were clean and which were unclean. Now, in this week's parsha we will delve into what makes a man clean or unclean. The order is somewhat significant. Just like in creation, animals were formed before man, so to here, we deal with the halachos of animals before man. Yet, we just finished dealing with several weeks of the Mishkan, which certainly dealt with man, and came before the animals.

Rashi quotes a Midrash, which in turn quotes Tehillim (139:5) "Achor vekedem tzartani", "Behind and before, You have fortified me". The word "Tzartani" can also be read as "You have formed me", hence the pasuk can be read, "Behind and before, You have formed me".

What does it me "Behind and before"? As we know, animals we created before man, but man's neshama, or soul, was created before anything. Hence, we (our neshamas) were created before everything, and at the same time, we (our bodies) we created after everything.

What's the lesson to be learned from this order? Rav Baruch Mordechai Ezrachi writes that we are to realize that the Torah is setting up a yardstick for us. An animal has a very simple purpose in life. It's to be an animal. Its job, for whatever cosmic reason, is to eat, sleep, and taste good. By doing that, the animal is fulfilling its role in the world. When we fulfill our role in the world, by bringing ourselves closer to G-d, we have the write to say "I was created FIRST!” By saying this, we are acknowledging that our neshamas (which were created first) are our true essence. When we don't use our neshamas properly, others have a right to rebuke us and say, "Even the gnat was created before you", acknowledging the fact that it is our bodies that is the focus in our lives. May we all merit the ability to say with pride, "I was created first!" Have a great Shabbos!

I'm a very happy person right now. This past week, I got my new CD!! Yep! Torah Island 3, with Uncle Moshe as a special guest! What an awesome CD! One of the few reasons I could tolerate kids in my life is because I get to listen to all their fun music. Though I must admit. Being an adult listening to this music does make you question several of the things within the album. For example, in the opening song, "Baruch Haba, Welcome to Torah Island", they make mention of the "kosher supermarket" and the "deli". So, my question is this: Why did they specify a KOSHER supermaket? Is there a non-kosher supermarket on Torah Island? And if you want to say that it specified kosher to teach the children who are listening, the importance of kashrus, why did they just say "Deli"? Rather they should have said, "KOSHER Deli"!!! Since they didn't specify that the deli is kosher, can we assume that there is a non-kosher deli on Torah Island? I've been spending a little too much time in front of the Gemara... Either way, it's a question that I find rather interesting...maybe Rashi or Tosfos has written something on it...

As we discussed last week, the laws of kashrus are intertwined with the subject of loshon horah (evil speech). In this week's parsha, we don't deal with what goes IN your mouth; rather will specifically deal with what comes out. We learn, this week, of a lovely little plague-like thing called tzaaras. The Gemara (Talmud) mentions that tzaaras comes from seven possible sins; chief among them is loshon horah. So I figured it would be a nice subject to discuss.

Rav Pam notes that over the past decades numerous books and projects have been launched within the religious community dedicated solely to halting this problem. While that is certainly a noble cause, says Rav Pam, these books and projects focus on the halachos of loshon horah. i.e. what is and what isn't considered loshon horah. Rarely do we go into the actual cause of it. Rav Pam notes that the mouth is not the cause; rather it's the eyes and heart. It is the eyes that see faults in other people, and it is the heart that broods those feelings. The mouth is simply describing those feelings. Instead of focusing on keeping one's mouth shut and not speaking bad of others, it is probably better to get to the source of the problem: the eyes and heart.

Many people think that loshon horah only exists if the speaker said something to intentionally hurt somebody else. Rav Pam told over a short story to show how wrong that view is. In short, a daughter, for weeks, would save part of her lunch money in order to by her mother a present. Finally, after several weeks, she had enough to by her mother a little nitnack, which children often by each other as gifts. When she got home, she hurried up the stairs, and carefully wrapped the present. Then before her mother could see her, she left the present on the kitchen table. Her mother walked in and saw this presentand after opening it, she realized it was simply a little toy, a true waste of money (in her eyes). She began to question her daughter on why she would waste her money on such things. Needless to say, her daughter was devastated.

Rav Pam warns us that it's this type of loshon horah that is most commonly found within a household. Sometimes, a person does not look at another person's intentions, and will judge them by just what they see with their eyes. Like that girl I once proposed to with a ring I made out of different coloured tie-twists...she never ONCE considered my feelings, and the hard work that went into it! No...she wanted a fancy-shamzy, 5 billion carrot diamond!! That really hurt me....oh yeah, where was I? Oh yeah, loshon horah... The moral of the story is thus: When a person starts looking at other people not by their outward mistakes, but rather by their inward sincerity, he can then begin to bypass the root of loshon horah. Have a great Shabbos!

Hello All,

Sorry for my unusually long Pesach break. My wife and kids were keeping me awfully busy. I had an interesting dream though, over Pesach. It was a typical Michael Winner dream. The world was coming to an end. That's right! One country started launching nukes, then a second, then a third, and the next thing you know, cities are getting wiped of the face of the planet. Right in the middle of all this ruckus, I receive a phone call from Rush Limbaugh who invites me to an underground layer located in the Rockies where I'll be able to survive. Naturally, I take him up on his offer, and made it to the hideout in record time. I love how dreams work. Within this layer, there are screens showing all the different cities burning to the ground and people with their skin melting off. You know the usual nuclear fallout. It was nice to know that I along with all the important people of the world were going to be safe and sound. Needless to say, many people were also saved but there were several faces that were not in the underground layer, and were probably melting away somewhere else. They were the following: Dad. So...needless to say, this teaches us a VERY important lesson. Do tshuva, Dad. Vote Republican! Join the dark side...give in to your hatred.... Okay, on a separate note, on to Torah!

As most Jewish stories go, this also involves a king. But not just an ordinary king. A PERSIAN king. Not only a Persian king, but a REALLY SICK PERSIAN KING who happened to be dying. Since his HMO will only pay for mediocre doctors, the only treatment they could think of was for the King to drink the milk of a lion. Now, for those who have never attempted to milk a lion before, I can tell you with first hand experience, it's not as easy as it sounds. So, naturally the King puts a "call" through to Shlomo HaMelech (aka King Solomon) to see if he had any bright ideas. Shlomo HaMelech said, "no problem, we'll take care of it", and appointed his advisor Benayahu to take care of it.

Benayahu took ten goats with him to the local lions den and from a distance threw one of the goats to the lion. Naturally the lion ate the goat. The next day Benayahu came a little closer and repeated step one, while the lion repeated step two. Each day, he would get closer and closer to the lion, that finally, the lion trusted him and he was able to milk her.

After gaining possession of this milk he started his trip to Persia to deliver it to the King. Like what happens to many of us when we go on long trips, his body parts started to argue with one another. His feet said: "Look how great we are! Without us, you guys couldn't deliver the milk to the King". His brain responded: "Ha! Without me you guys wouldn't have been able to think of such a brilliant plan to get the milk!". His hands said, "Who needs a brain! Without us, you couldn't get the milk, we rock! (granted it's doubtful that back then the term "we rock" was used, but you get the point). Finally the tongue spoke, "You are worth nothing - for without me, where would you be?" All the limbs had a good laugh at that one, "Who are you? You have no thinking power, you have no bones or limbs, you're a simple muscle that lives in the mouth!" The tongue replied, "You'll see..."

When Benayahu reached the King, he proudly presented the milk and said, "Here is your dog's milk!". Needless to say, the King was rather upset so he sentenced Benayahu to an immediate execution. As he was being led away, all the body parts started to complain to the tongue, "Look what you've done! Now we'll all get killed! You fool!". The tongue replied, "Now you see that I am the most powerful? With the slip of ONE WORD, I can end every one of your lives!". The rest of the body understood this lesson, and begged the tongue to save them. Benayahu turned to the King and asked why he's being executed. The King responded, "You brought me dog's milk instead of lions milk, and it's been a pretty bad day for me overall, that's why!" Benayahu calmly explained to the King that there was a small mix-up with his translation and that it really is lion's milk. The King drank the milk, ended up living, upgrading his health coverage to a PPO plan, and lived happily ever after...until he died.

The moral of the story is quite obvious. While certain sins will only affect us, loshon hara (i.e. evil speech) will affect many more people. And with just the slightest slip of the tongue can even cause the deaths of those individuals. We should always try to keep this in mind when we are with others. If what we are about to say to another individual can hurt or embarrass somebody else, it's imperative that we think twice and "hold our tongue". Have a great Shabbos!

***Disclaimer: Yes, this dvar torah contains grammatical errors. Yes, I do have a college degree. It’s just that I’m hungry and at work***