Nasso

For those who did not know, Rav Gershon Edelstein, the acknowledged leader of Lithuanian Jewry in Israel, passed away at 100 years old on Tuesday.  Naturally, the religious world was shut down and over 200,000 people descended on Bnei Brak for the funeral.  My son's yeshiva let the boys out to go as long as they returned on time that night.  And of course, getting there and back is not so easy, since all the trains and buses were filled to capacity (and more) and no private cars were allowed in or near Bnei Brak at the time.

So, how did my son get from his yeshiva up north to Bnei Brak on time?  Simple.  He got a free ride in an ambulance that his friend's father was driving there to be on call.  I mean … how else is a 14-year-old boy going to travel in style?

Last Shabbos, I was walking home from shul with my neighbor, who shared two insights into the parsha, specifically, the end, where it gets more than a bit repetitive.  What's going on?  The heads of the tribes are bringing their offerings, and without previous planning, they all ended up bringing the exact same thing.  So, the Torah writes out, twelve times, the exact same wording, with different names inserted.  It's a bit tedious, but obviously, it was done for a reason.

My neighbor said that we can learn two lessons from here:

The first: Anybody who has daughters knows, that if there is some event that they have to go to with other girls, the absolute worst thing in the world to happen (worse than a nuclear holocaust, in fact), is if they end up wearing the same thing that somebody else wears.  This is true for school projects (but not as bad as a nuclear holocaust) and many other things in life.  Once we find out that our idea is not so original, we get upset and need to immediately change our plans so we can be different.

Yet we see here, each day, a tribe brought their own offerings, knowing that the exact same one was brought the day before and the day before that.  However, they brought them, because that is where their hearts led them.  THIS is right for me.  What others do is right for them.  So, I will continue to do what is right, even though it's not so original.

My wife, the great Torah sage, added her own insight on this saying, that we did not see them even discussing amongst themselves what each one was going to bring.  That's how strong they felt about what they were doing.  They did not need to compare to others from the beginning.

The second: We learn that sometimes it's important that things are the same.  Many schools have dress codes.  In some schools, they all have to wear the exact same thing.  In other schools, they have certain rules and the children can pick what they wear within those rules.  Many Chassidim have rules regarding weddings.  You can only invite up to X amount of people.  You can spend up to X amount of dollars.

On one hand, you can argue that it stifles the individual.  Yet, on the other hand, you see how it stifles jealously, peer-pressure, and putting your focus on the wrong things in life.  Sometimes having community standards where everybody is the same allows us to grow in different ways.

So, we see, even from repetitive sections of the Torah, we can glean some insights and lessons in life.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

I made the mistake of educating my children properly.

On Shavous, after the meal, there was one piece of cheesecake left, and several of us ready to kill over it.  I explained to the family that the Gemara was clear on this: the father always gets the last piece of dessert, therefore, halacha clearly demands that I get the piece.

My oldest daughter turned to me and said, "You always taught us that if we ever hear something that sounds like nonsense, that we should demand to see the source, so, where's YOUR source?"

She's good.  Really good.

Needless to say, I lost the piece.

"Speak to the Israelites and say to them: If any men or women explicitly utter a nazirite’s vow, to set themselves apart for Hashem" (Bamidbar 6: 2).

As a small refresher.  When a person takes upon himself a Nazir's vow, he is officially forbidden from drinking any wine/grape juice, cutting their hair, and from becoming impure from the dead.  Obviously, why those specific things and not others is a whole discussion unto itself. 

Many commentators translate the word "Nazir" as "crown."  And as we all know, it is the crown which separates a king from the rest of the nation.  The King is the king, he acts differently, he speaks differently, he IS different from the rest of the nation.  One needs to look no further than Queen Elizabeth and how she handles herself in private and public.  She IS royalty.  She represents British Royalty and everybody knows it.  How she walks, how she talks, how she eats, how she behaves.  She is different from the rest.   Nobody can deny that she acts in a dignified way that demands respect.  Her children and grandchildren on the other hand, well…

So too this Nazir … there is something different about him that sets him apart from others around him.

Rav Shimshon Pincus explains that if a person wants to jump 100 meters in the air, it would seem logical that he need only to jump a half a meter, two hundred times.  Yet, as we are all aware (with the exception of certain 10-month-olds whom I won't name), there is something called "gravity."  So, no matter how many times we jump in the air, we will always remain firmly on the ground.

On the other hand, we have rockets that can travel to the moon and planets.  And for the most part, their travels are rather effortless.  Why is that?  Because, although at first they need to use an extreme amount of energy and precision to break out of the gravitational pull of the earth, once that is done, they can simply use a few bursts of thrusters to adjust their course, and glide their way to their target.

Spiritually speaking, a Nazir is no different.  We all have natural desires that Hashem gave us to use for the good.  And a person who uses them properly will earn himself great reward.  However, sometimes a person wants to push himself further, beyond his natural barriers.  So, he minimizes his usage over these material desires to focus solely on the spiritual.  The Rambam himself writes (Hilchos Talmud Torah 3: 13), "Therefore, whosoever desires to attain the crown of the Torah should take care of all of his nights, not to spend even one of them in sleeping, eating, drinking, conversation, or in like matters, but in study of the Torah and in matters of wisdom."

If one wants to acquire such a lofty object, he must push himself beyond his natural desires and focus solely on the spiritual.

Perhaps this is why being a Nazir is something we cannot do today.  Perhaps because it's too much for 99.9 percent of us.  We should be so lucky to be able to use our natural desires for good!  But to forsake them totally or even mostly?  Most of us cannot do such a thing and would be told not to even contemplate such thoughts.

However, even though being a Nazir is not applicable, there are still lessons to be learned from it. If a person wants something big, he needs to push himself accordingly.  Yes, perhaps giving up sleep is not possible nor even recommended to do, but if a person wants to grow in his learning, perhaps pushing himself to learn 5 minutes every night is something he can do.  Of course, many will say, what's so hard about it?  Well, let's see them try it for 6 months.

It reminds me of the "Brevda Diet" that Rav Shlomo Brevda used to recommend.  He said it was so difficult, that once even a big Rosh Yeshiva said to him that he tried it without success.  What was the diet?  Take whatever you want and how much you want to eat.  But only take once.  Don't  go back for seconds.

That's how he recommended a person goes around to try to gain control over his desires.  It's safe, it won't harm you physically or spiritually, but… it's really not easy to do.  But, if some person CAN do it… well, he has mastered something that most cannot do.

(I didn't even bother to try it)

With that thought, I wish you a wonderful Shabbos!

A few days ago, the north received a few rockets from Lebanon.  Nothing big.  Our local sirens didn’t even go off.  However, the city went around and prepared all the shelters for those who had the ability to make it there within 25 seconds of hearing the sirens.  My older son, of course, was very animated about the whole thing.

I told him not to expect anything.  In a week or so, there will be a cease-fire, the world will pour more money into Hamas’s hands, and the north will remain quiet (am I a prophet, or what?).  He looked a bit downcast, so I asked him, “You really want there to be an attack here, don’t you?” (I know boys.). He admitted that he “wouldn’t mind” if there was SOMETHING that wouldn’t hurt anybody or do damage.  But it would have to only be once and something small, because he knows it’s really not fun and very dangerous.  It’s just that "boy" in him that wants to see “axshun.”

I could understand that.  So, I comforted him with, “Don’t worry, 30 kilometers away is Hizbollah who also wants to see every Jew in Israel dead, and they are armed to the teeth with sophisticated weaponry and tactics that make Hamas look like little children.  And one day, when they decide (G-d forbid) to really let go … we’ll be one of the places they target!”

That gave him something to think about.  I believe he’ll daven a little harder for peace. 😊

“And on the day that Moshe finished erecting the Mishkan" (Bamidbar 7:1). 

Did not the entire nation play a role in building the Mishkan?  Was it not their donations and work that built it?  If so, why was Moshe specifically given credit for it?  Similarly with the Beis HaMikdash.  While Shlomo HaMelech was the one who built it, we see it many times being referred to as “The Temple of David.”

The Medresh explains that when a person puts his whole being into a spiritual project, Heaven rewards him for it, whether or not it is completed, or even whether or not he is successful.  In the case of the Mishkan, while the nation contributed to it, Moshe put his whole being into making sure it was done perfectly.  With the Beis HaMikdash, it was Dovid HaMelech who brought everything together in order to build it.  All Shlomo HaMelech had to do was actually build it.  Nonetheless, Dovid HaMelech still gets credit.

A group of well-to-do individuals came to a certain talmid chacham.  They wanted him to open a new yeshivah, and they were willing to give a beautiful facility that was all ready and made.  Obviously, this sounded like a wonderful idea, but he wanted first to go to Rav Shach.  Rav Shach told him to turn it down.  He explained, “A yeshivah must be built with self-sacrifice, not with luxurious buildings.”

When a person wants to go on a certain spiritual path, if he is willing to sacrifice himself for that path, he will most likely be given help, if that path is truly good for him.  But he himself must show how important that path is to him.  How much is he willing to give of himself to see through his goals?  We see this concept in play in the business world in many ways, all the more so in the spiritual world.

It’s interesting to note how the media in Israel handles things.

Usually I have my internet filter block out news sites, since they are usually a waste of my time and I don’t want to get hooked in.  However, with the virus going around, my wife tweaked the filter so I can see them, which I check every day.  I noticed that whenever they found somebody in a religious city with the virus, they would also tag on the line “the Ultra-Orthodox city of…” or “the Ultra-Orthodox school…”

Interestingly enough, over the past few days, the numbers are starting to climb and several schools have been forced to close.  There was actually a list of cities that had to close down at least one school.  Four cities named, and only one warranted a descriptive tag… Bnei Brak.  Tel Aviv, which, I believe has the highest breakout right now, is not tagged, “The Secular City of Tel Aviv”, but whenever Bnei Brak was mentioned, it was “The Ultra-Orthodox city of Bnei Brak”.

When American papers do the same thing with the word “Jewish”, it’s called “anti-semitism”.  In Israel, it’s called “ok”.

Okay… on to more positive things!

This week's parsha is a programmer's worst nightmare.

Included in the parsha is a list of all the gifts that each of the twelve tribes brought to the Mishkan.  And each tribe ended up giving the exact same thing in the exact same amount.  And the Torah uses the exact same language (just switching out the names), twelve times.

For a programmer, that's simply a waste of space and bad coding.  We simply would have made a loop, using the same language only once and saved the reader a lot of time.  But thankfully, Hashem is not a programmer, or boy would the world be in a bad state.

One of the reasons given for such repetitiveness is to show us the importance of each tribe and each head of tribe for the gifts they gave.  While in the end, each tribe gave the same amount, it was not planned out beforehand, and each tribe had their own calculation on why they gave what they gave.  And for that reason alone, Hashem wanted to count each individual tribe to show how important each one was, none greater than the other.

I've heard this explanation beforehand, and it's a nice explanation.  However, it never really stuck to me until a friend of mine told me a story that happened to him.

At the beginning of the year, his first-grade son had a special presentation at the school to receive his first Chumash.  Of course, the school made a big deal out of it, and all the parents and many grandparents came.  When it came time, the rav of the neighborhood was asked to hand out each siddur and give a small bracha to each child.  This rav was...politically astute, and when the son of the principal was called, he gave the boy the siddur and a small bracha.  Then the next boy was called up (my friend's son), and before the previous boy could leave, the rav took the time to tell over a five-minute story on how great this boy's family was.  All this, while my friend's son was standing right there as well, waiting for his turn.

Needless to say, the father did not feel so special and some others also thought that the whole thing was uncalled for.  Instead of each and everybody being treated equally for this ceremony, one was picked out, at the expense of another, to be praised, just because his father is the principal.

After hearing this story, I can understand this lesson well.

On one hand, we are not communists, where everybody is equal to each other automatically (and some are simply "more equal").  On the other hand, in situations where everybody IS equal, care should be given to make sure that one is not praised over (and at the expense of) another.

This is the lesson of this week's parsha.

I wish everybody a meaningful Shavuos and a wonderful Shabbos!

This year’s Shavuos was a bit different than the rest. For us, it was only a “two-day yom tov,” Shabbos and one day of Shavuos, which was very good, since the temperature was over 100 degrees. And since the temperature was over 100, it only makes sense that the main air-conditioner that we depend on, which cools our main room and kitchen, decided to trip the power on Shabbos morning.

Thankfully, it only tripped its own fuse on the main board, so we had electricity, and air-conditioning in the bedrooms, but none in the room where we eat and play. So, it got hot . . . really hot. I ended up spending most of my Shabbos running around, trying to find a “Shabbos Goy,” but I was not being successful at all. Some were not at home, some didn’t want to come, and we don’t exactly have the biggest selection over here.



Finally, on Shavuos night somebody told me to go somewhere and ask for Bernie. So I went there and a Klingon opened the door! I’m telling you, here you have some overweight guy, with no shirt and long curly hair; I nearly pounded my chest and yelled “Kaplaa!” to him, just out of habit! It turns out he was a really nice guy, and came over and flipped the switch back on. We heard the beep of the air-conditioning unit, sighed a sigh, and thanked him very much. A few minutes later, the unit turned itself off and showed an “E1” on its display. The next morning, I found somebody else who was nice enough to come and turn on our ceiling fans. So we went from hot-oven to Turbo-oven. Thankfully, despite the heat and all the issues, Shabbos and Shavuos was very nice.



In the end, the air conditioning unit died prematurely (it was an inverter and the computer cards somehow got fried), and a new one will be coming in on Sunday (non-inverter). Then, we’ll be getting our new oven/stove, since THOSE died as well. Then, in the coming weeks, we will have to replace the microwave and dairy oven-toaster, since they’re nearly on life support (not bad for 13 years of usage). Thankfully, we’re all in good health, and that’s what really counts!



“And on the day that Moshe finished erecting the Mishkan (Bamidbar 7:1).



The Midrash notes that whenever a person invests his entire soul in a holy undertaking, Heaven is to reward him for it. For instance, even though it was Shlomo HaMelech who actually built the first Beis HaMikdash, his father, Dovid HaMelech, actually got credit for it, since he put his entire soul into preparing for it. So too here, even though it was through a select number of people who were the leaders of building the Mishkan, and also through the Jewish nation, who did a lot of the work and donations, it is credited to Moshe.



Somebody once pressed a certain Talmid Chochum to open up his own yeshivah. This person even offered him use of a beautiful facility already in existence. Before accepting it however, he went to Rav Shach. To his surprise, Rav Shach told him to turn it down: “A yeshivah must be built with self-sacrifice, not with luxurious buildings.”



I have seen, time and time again, the people who are most successful, spiritually speaking, are those who push themselves with all their power. I’m not talking about only poor people. I know some people who are very well off, thanks to help from their parents, but they use their time and energy to their maximum. So, while they might have an easier time, financially, than others, they are learning with as much power as they can put into it. And from this sacrifice, and yes, by pushing themselves, they ARE sacrificing, they are successful in their spiritual endeavors.

We had somebody over the other day to look at something in our home. Out of nowhere his phone starts to ring. But not just some normal phone ring, but rather we hear the tune of “Take My Breath Away,” which we haven’t heard in approximately . . . forever.

Of course, my wife and I both hear the same thing, but think completely different thoughts.

She thought: “Ah, a love song”

And I thought: “TOP GUN! Ah, what a great film—F-14s, carrier landings, egos, pilots, MIGs blowing up—ruined by introducing a woman into the movie plot—women have no place in such films! Too bad . . . .”

Since then, I’ve had flashbacks of the opening scene of that movie (undoubtedly, one of the best ever) running through my head.

It’s amazing what things you simply can’t get rid of. Okay, on to more important things.
“He shall bring his offering to Hashem . . . for a sin-offering” (Bamidbar 6:14)

In the times of the Beis HaMikdash (and apparently today according to this one guy I met in university and prided himself on being one . . . while not keeping kosher or Shabbos . . .) a person could take upon himself Nazirus and become a Nazir for a certain amount of time. As a Nazir, he was forbidden to drink anything from a grape (read: wine), must not become spiritually impure, not cut his hair, etc. He was, for the time being, above normal, in the spiritual realm.

At the end of his Nazirus he would cut his hair and bring a sin-offering to the Beis HaMikdash. There is a big question here on why specifically a sin-offering. You just finished taking upon yourself a period where you were in a spiritual high. What did you do wrong that you need to bring a sin-offering?

The Ramban brings a unique explanation. Here we have a person who grew by abstaining from many things in this world. The fact is that even after he attained such a position, he still wanted to return to the world of the mundane and physical pleasures. True, he didn’t sin, but for a person to move down from a plateau to the floor, is considered as if he sinned.

Rav Yechezkel Abramsky questions this Ramban. If one is considered a sinner for not extending his vow of Nazirus, how much more so should one who had never even risen to accept the challenge of Nazirus be mandated to bring a sin-offering!

Rav Shmuel Truvitz offers a defense on the position of the Ramban. Achieving such a level as the Nazir is no simple thing. It requires a person of a certain caliber to accept and keep. Not everybody has the ability to do such a thing. Therefore, people who cannot accept this vow of Nazirus, cannot be blamed.

“On the other hand, he who has demonstrated the necessary forbearance and self-control to become a Nazir, demonstrates his individuality by the very nature of his achievement. He has worn the crown of Nazirus. One who has worn the crown, who has been clothed in the raiment of monarchy, sins when he removes the crown of kingship. To achieve spiritual distinction, and then to reject it, denigrates the entire process and demeans the concept of Nazirus.”

On a practical level, we see the importance of doing our best on keeping what we have accepted upon ourselves. Each step in growth that we take should not be taken back. If you keeping stepping down, how do you expect to move forward?

Michael Winner

How are legends made? Actually, it’s very easy.

I was walking Tova to her gan the other morning with Chaim. On the way, Chaim fell down face-first which opened up just-recently healed skin from a previous accident. He also cut up a good portion of his face (he looks pretty bad). I got him cleaned up and took him to cheder.

When he came home, everybody saw him and asked what happened. Before he could answer, I told them how two Arabs attacked me this morning, and Chaim jumped in and beat them up to save me. Chaim laughed and told them that he simply fell down.

Ten minutes later, Simcha was looking at Chaim’s face and said to my wife, “Aravim gave Chaim boo-boo.”

A racist has been created. :)
“And on the day that Moshe finished erecting the Mishkan” (Bamidbar 7:1)

The Midrash writes that whenever a person invests his entire being into a spiritual pursuit, he is credited with having completed it, even though he didn’t. King David was credited for building the Beis HaMikdash, even though his son did it, because he put his entire essence into preparing for it. So too here, even though the entire Jewish nation built the Mishkan, Moshe was given the credit, for he put all of his energies into it.

Once, a certain talmid chacham was suggested to open a new yeshiva. The people behind the idea even offered him a beautiful and luxurious place for it. While it seemed like a good proposition, he first decided to see Rav Shach. Rav Shach told him to turn it down explaining, “A yeshiva must be built with self-sacrifice, not with luxurious buildings.”

Incidentally (and surprisingly) I got some reward for saying something similar. After the fall, Chaim said he wanted to stay at home because he was in pain. I told him that he should try to go to cheder for two reasons. The first, “Hopefully, once you’re busy learning, you won’t be in pain anymore.” And second, “Do you know how much schar (reward) you get for learning Torah even though you don’t feel well? You get a lot more than somebody who finds it easy to learn.” In the end, he went to cheder. When he came home, I heard him say to my wife, “You know . . . Abbah was right! He told me that if I go to cheder I won’t feel the pain any more, and I don’t; AND I get a lot more schar for learning!”

Quite frankly, I was impressed. Worked out better than I was expecting.

Either way, the message is simple. No pain. No gain. In order to spiritually accomplish anything, one must put in his 100%. When he does so, even if he is not successfully in this world, he will certainly be successful in the next.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

I good friend of mine came over this week and spent the night. Being that he lives in London and I do not, we don’t get to see each other too often. We speak once a month or so, but that’s really it. To me, it was a win-win situation. He bought English tea (I can’t stand the non-English stuff) and since him and I play well together, he helped me in the mitzvah of annoying my wife… over and over and over again.

He asked me what our Shalom Bayis (peace in the home) situation would be if he were to move here. I told him that I think that our wives would quickly get sick and tired of us constantly asking if him and I can have sleepovers.

My wife seconded that.

Before we start the dvar Torah, I want to apologize.

Over the past few months, my dvrei Torah have been edited by a volunteer who was sick and tired of all my grammatical mistakes. Starting last week, she has to take off some time because of schedule conflicts. Being that on Friday I am physically and mentally at my weakest, expect errors.

That is all.
“When a man or a woman separates himself to vow the vow of a nazir (i.e. to abstain from wine)” (Bamidbar 6:2)

The Rambam rules that a Nazir is Rabbinically forbidden to be in the vicinity of people drinking wine (Hilchos Nazirus 4:10). He cites the Gemara (Shabbos 13a) which states that people must say to a nazir if he is near a vineyard, “Go around! Go around! Do not approach the vineyard!”

Rav Schach used this as a springboard for a speech he was giving in 1980: “This is no mere stringency, nor is it an act of special piety. It is a full-fledged Rabbinical prohibition. A person is not allowed to remain in the vicinity of a temptation to sin.

“What an obligation this imposes upon us today, when the streets of the city are filled with temptations! It follows that if a person is compelled to pass through them, he must be aware of the dangers awaiting him there and try to minimize them as much as possible by taking detours whenever necessary…”

This was said 34 years ago! Can you imagine what he would think now?

Today we are bombarded with multimedia, images, people, ideas… you name it, from all directions. And from what I understand, I don’t even now half of it, since I don’t live “out there”. No matter what, you’re going to get hit from it, but at the MINIMUM, before doing things that put you in any potentially compromising situation, even if it IS walking down the street where people have allergies to clothing, we should think beforehand, “How can I minimize the impact on my neshama?”

By taking different “routes” in life and taking out the “weeds” that threaten to entangle us, we stand a good chance of living this word with a cleaner neshama.

Have a great Shabbos and a wonderful Shavous!

My Rosh Yeshivah spoke this week about how parents receive “Yiddisha Nachas” and “Goyisha Nachas”. When parents put their main pride into their children’s educational accomplishments or professional accomplishments; that’s “Goyisha nachas”. When their main “nachas” is Torah based, it’s “Yiddisha Nachas”.

This week, we had Yiddisha Nachas.

On Shabbos, at the park, a woman was handing out small booklets, each containing five different chapters of Tehillim (Psalms), so if every woman took one, they could complete the entire book together. Naturally my wife took one, and Rochel Leah, after learning what it was, asked if she could have as well. The woman smiled and asked my wife if Rochel Leah was capable. My wife said ‘yes’ and Rochel Leah got to work. She finished everything that she was given and handed back the booklet to the surprised woman, who heaped praises upon my daughter for such an accomplishment for a first-grader.

Happy are we.
“At the entrance of the Mishkan, the Nazir shall shave his head” (Bamidbar 6:18)

In the times of the Beis HaMikdash, one was able to become a Nazir, who amongst other things, refrained from wine, did not cut his hair, and was extra careful in keeping the laws of purity. It was all done to achieve a higher spiritual level. At the end of such a period (he would take it on for a month, for example), he would have to shave his head. Rashi notes that the shaving of the head was done at the ENTERANCE of the Mishkan, but not actually inside it. Why? Because it’s disrespectful to the Mishkan.

From here, says Rav Zilberstein, we learn that doing something disgraceful in a sanctified place, even if it’s a mitzvah, is forbidden by the Torah. From here we can learn certain rules about how we treat our shuls.

Rav Zilberstein noted on the side, that sfardim are very dedicated to the sanctity of their shuls. So much so, even those sfardim, teenagers, who have left Torah, will still always treat the shul with respect. I remember seeing this with my own eyes when living in Yerushaliyim. We lived on a street with a few… well, let’s just say, not the highest caliber of people, who were sfardim. One particular boy always stood out as the head of the pack. Yet, even he, when he would once in a while step into the shul, was a different person.

Rav Zilberstein continues and talks about children in shul. He said that many people incorrectly think that Shabbos is a day when the wife can be “off duty” and the husband can be “on duty” during davening hours. After all, she HAS been with the children all week, she could use the morning off! The husband, who agrees with his wife, then takes all his children to shul with him, where they run around outside, in the halls, in the shul itself, etc…

Now, because I know this is an emotional issue for some parents, I’ll simply quote the rav:

“But what about those children who can behave properly in shul, even at a very young age? We need to understand one thing: Even if a father manages to remain in control of his child, and sees to it that he sits quietly throughout the prayers, his ‘success’ is only in the short term.

The parents may be very surprised to see that when the child gets older, and the father no longer has the ability to control his behavior, the child will not be very inclined to sit quietly in shul. The parents will wonder why their son has lost interest in going to shul, and they will reprimand him for his lack of attendance. They will have no idea that they themselves caused his aversion to going to shul by making him sit in shul quietly at the age of two.

“This is so obvious and simple that I cannot understand why people persist in bringing their young children to shul….

“I am not saying that it is forbidden to bring a three or four year old child to shul EVER. It is a wonderful idea to bring them for the last 10 minutes of davening, so that they can see what davening in shul looks like… during these brief moments, the child will be so fascinated by what he hears and sees that he will not have the urge to run around or make noise…”

Outside of the child’s education, you also have the issue of OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO DAVEN. Every time the child is running in or out, it disturbs other people. To me, that’s “so obvious and simple that I cannot understand why people persist in bring their young children to shul”.

I remember once in Chicago, we were having increasing difficulties with this issue in our shul. I asked and received permission from the rav to put up a humourous sign asking people to at least keep control over their children if they feel a need to bring them. I couldn’t believe the backlash I received. At that time, we were renting space from another shul, and even members from THAT shul, were “insulted”. Somebody my age approached me and gave me the “You Don’t Know What It’s Like To Have Children” lecture, since he had two young children, and I wasn’t married. I held my tongue from giving him the “But I Know What It’s Like To Try To Daven Next To Your Two Children While They’re Making Noise” speech.

However… I am happy to say, that I am a father of four children. And they don’t step foot in shul or near the shul when we daven. On Shabbos days when my four and a half year old behalves well, he gets the HONOUR of going to shul with me in the afternoon to learn together for 7 minutes (his attention span). What’s the result? Instead of treating the shul like a jungle gym, my children have a reverence for it.

Is it easy for the wife? No. But the husband can make it up in different ways. He can daven the earlier minyan and “relieve” his wife when he comes home. He can take the children out in the afternoon, and let her nap. There are many different ideas that can help the wife and maintain the integrity of our children’s’ education and the sanctity of our shuls.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

You can all be jealous now.

Remember Yoel the store owner I visit every erev Shabbos? On my way back from the mikvah, I was thinking that it would be great to learn with him. Because he’s originally from Mexico, his Hebrew is much clearer and slower than your standard Israeli. I then realized that he probably doesn’t learn every day since being a store owner is not a simple life, and I know he comes from a non-religious background, so he probably doesn’t know how to learn. So, I thought, why NOT learn with him? I walked into the store, and simply said, “I had a thought about you and me. I think we should learn together every day.”

“That would be great”, he replied, “but I don’t have any learning skills!”

“Me neither, and that’s why we should learn together!”

So, starting Sunday, we’ll be learning mishnayos for 30 minutes every day in the afternoon. I’m excited for four reasons: 1) He’s a very good person, and it’s important to befriend good people like this 2) I’ve been wanted to learn mishnayos with somebody, and given that I will be more in the teacher role in this particular case, it will be good for me 3) We’ll be learning in Hebrew, which will also be good for me 4) Yoel will be learning every day, which will be good for him.

Also, it sounds like the beginning of a bad joke: An American and Mexican were sitting in shul learning in the Galilee…

Okay, on to Torah!
“And erase it into the bitter waters” (Bamidbar 5:23)

When a married woman was [highly] suspected of having an extramarital affair, she was brought to the Beis HaMikdash. There a procedure was done to determine her innocence or guilt. Part of that procedure consisted of taking a piece of parchment with Hashem’s name on it and dissolving it into water.

So, here’s the big question. How can we do that? We know that taking Hashem’s name and erasing it is not allowed in Jewish law.

When we look into that particular law, we see that this only applies if the letters of Hashem’s name are close enough together that it will certainly be read as one. However, if they are separated with a certain amount of space, then it is not considered to be Hashem’s name and may be erased.

When a husband and wife are working together in their relationship and conduct themselves in a proper and dignified manner, then the letter “yud” from the word “ish” (man) and the letter “hay” from the word “isha” (woman) will be close together, forming “yud” “hay”, Hashem’s name. However, when their goals are not the same or they treat each other with disrespect, then “ish” and “isha” are far apart, and Hashem’s name isn’t formed.

This is what the Chamudei Yitzchak suggests is the reason we are allowed to erase Hashem’s name in this case. If the relationship has soured so much that the wife is suspected of adultery, then Hashem’s name was never formed in the first place and the letters were separated enough from the beginning.

May we always be able to conduct our marriages in a respectful, peaceful, friendly, and loving manner to ensure Hashem’s presence on it.

Have a great Shabbos!

I’m not entirely sure it’s because she’s Israeli or because she’s a Winner, but…

Two weeks ago, my wife’s uncle and aunt came to Israel as part of a several country tour. Naturally, we had them over for dinner and naturally the kids made signs on the doors welcoming them.

Like all signs, my wife wrote in marker “Welcome Aunt & Uncle…”, while the kids decorated around it. My daughter chose her favourite pinks and purples making different designs and flowers, and little black things with what looked to be legs. “What are those things with the flowers, Rochel Leah?” I asked.

“Cockroaches”.

Duh. I mean… it only makes sense.
This week's parsha deals with the Sotah.

In short, the Sotah is a woman suspected of committing adultery. After her husband, who is now suspicious, gives her warning, is caught in a secluded place with the suspected man, she is brought to the Beis HaMikdash.

In the Beis HaMikdash, the Cohen Gadol puts together a concoction, writes Hashem's name on paper, and dissolves that paper into the "bitter waters". She is given warning and is asked to confess to adultery, if she is guilty.

If she is not guilty, nothing happens, she goes home, she and her husband seek counseling, and hopefully, everybody lives happily ever after.

If she is guilty, she suffers a terribly painful death where her innards blow up. Similarly, Pierre (they’re always French, aren’t they?), the suspected man, dies a similar fate at the same time.

When she goes to the Beis HaMikdash, she needs to bring an offering. It is assumed that this offering is brought as atonement for her actions. However, as the Chizkuni writes, an offering is brought only is a sin is done inadvertently. Here, she was doing this on purpose.

Instead, the Chizkuni writes, the offering is for the husband. He is considered to be at fault for causing this whole mess which resulted in Hashem's name being erased.

This woman did not go "zero to sixty". She was not a nice wife one day, and committing adultery the next. Obviously, it took time and took stages. Throughout the whole time, the husband did not have the foresight to see what was happening and stopping the process before it continued too far.

"A wise man is farsighted and watches for potential hazards, while the fool proceeds in darkness and sees no need to take precautions" (Koheles 14:16)

The importance of having a rav in our lives is extremely important. To have a mentor and a leader, especially one who knows and understand us, is critical.

We are going through 120 years of life, without an idea on where we are going and what we are doing. Torah is often compared to a light, since it illuminates our path. After all, it is the "user manual" that Hashem has given us. To have a teacher who is fluent in this "user manual" is exceptionally important.

It's rather egotistical for us to think to ourselves that we know what we are doing, and we know enough Torah to know what Hashem wants from us. That is why we need to have foresight to be close to somebody with foresight, who can help us navigate the waters of life. By having a “husband” (a rav) to look out for the “wife” (us), we can stay clear from inadvertently doing the wrong things.

Have a great Shabbos!

I hope everybody’s Shavous went well!

Just as a note, for the next several weeks, those living in Eretz Yisroel will be one week ahead in the parsha. Since we only have one day of Shavous, we had Friday as Shavous and the Shavous Torah reading, and on Shabbos we read the regular parsha. Outside of Eretz Yisroel, where it’s two days, the Torah reading over Shavous was for Shavous and not Shabbos.

In case I mess up in the future, you’ll why.

An interesting Gemara in Shabbos was brought to my attention the other day. It was the famous story of the potential convert who came to Hillel and told him that if Hillel could tell over the whole Torah on one foot, he would convert. So, Hillel responded, “Don’t do to your friend as you don’t want done to you… the rest is commentary”.

Now, this is famous because the Reform & Conservative clergy use it all the time as a reason one shouldn’t protest things that are against the Torah (since it “hurts people’s feelings”) and that things such as Shabbos and Kashrus are mere secondary making people feel good about themselves.

However, if you go to Rashi on that Gemara, he gives two definitions of “friend”. The second one is what these folks use, literally: friend. His primary definition though is that a friend is Hashem Himself. And just as you would not want somebody not to listen to you, so too, you should listen to Hashem.

That means ALL the mitzvos! Somehow, our friends missed this.

Another lesson on why it’s important to look up sources.

Okay, on to more Torah!
"You shall appoint them by name" (Bamidbar 4 32)

The Leviim were separated by Hashem to be his "elite legion". They were and are the best.

From within the Leviim, there were the Cohanim, who were on an even higher level.

From within the Cohanim, there was the Cohein Gadol, who was the spiritual leader of the nation.

Even though the Cohein Gadol was only an individual, it was still possible for anybody to reach his spiritual level, and that was by becoming a Nazir.

The Nazir needed to allow his hair to grow long, was not allowed to drink wine or become spiritually impure by coming in contact with the dead. Whenever he would walk in the streets and fields, people would inform him, "There's a dead body over there, you need to go around" or "Don't drink this, it contains grapes" Wherever he would walk, people would take note of him and warn him off if anything that he was forbidden to was nearby.

The Nazir was treated with honour and respect wherever he went. Even the insincere ones. Why? Answers Rav Avigdor Miller, because at least wherever they went, people thought of Hashem. For that alone he deserves the respect.

When you walk in the street in a manner and dress befitting a Ben Torah, people think of Hashem.

When you do a chesed for somebody, people think of Hashem.

When you do a mitzvah in public, despite any embarrassment you might feel, people think of Hashem.

When you cause others to think of Hashem, in a positive way of course, in some way, you too are accomplishing what a Nazir accomplished.

Have a great Shabbos!