Chukas

My son turned nine this past week and as per family tradition, he got to choose what type of birthday cake he will have on Shabbos.  At first he had some typical nine-year-old idea, but then, after some thought, came back and asked that it should be a cake with a yellow ribbon on it for the hostages.

Sadly, it's a sign of the times.

A friend of mine recommended a book called "Galus Yishmoel."  He said that it's something you don't "read," but rather "learn."  And he was on the mark.

As we know, there are four exiles (galus) that the Jewish nation has and will go through: Babylon, Persia, Greece, and Rome/Eisav (which we have yet to complete).  What is lesser known is that at the end of the last galus, there will be a fifth kingdom, called "Yishmoel," otherwise known as "the Arabs."  It is said that this will be the final one before Moshiach comes, and unfortunately, the hardest.

I cannot possibly give a Dvar Torah on everything there.  However, I'll try to take two of his questions/answers that he raised and paraphrase it as much as possible.

One question that he asks in the beginning is that when Avraham is told by Hashem that Sarah will bear a son, Avraham's first reaction is: "If only Yishmoel might live before you!" (Bereishis 17:18), which is a bit strange to say upon hearing such news.  Another question he asks is why does Yishmoel not have his own separate "exile" like the other kingdoms?  Why does he have to share his with Eisav?

As we know Eisav and Yishmoel are connected.  When Eisav saw that his parents did not look favourably on his wives, he went to Yishmoel and married his daughter.  Yishmoel became Eisav's father-in-law, if not physically (some say he died beforehand), certainly spiritually.

We also know that Yishmoel is referred to as a wild donkey (Bereishis 16:12, and in numerous other places).

We also know that the prophet Zecharia (see Sanhedrin 98a) describes the two ways Moshiach can come:  Either Israel is worthy, and he comes "with the clouds of the sky" or they are not worthy and he comes "lowly, riding on a donkey."

So, now that we have a few interesting facts in front of us, we can answer both questions.

When Yitzchok gave Eisav his blessing, he told him, "By your sword you shall live, and your brother you shall serve. But when you cry in distress you will break his yoke from upon your neck" (Bereishis 27:40).  Simply put, as long as we do our job in the world, Eisav will serve us.  But, as long as we fail to live up to our mission, Eisav will "be on our necks."

Regarding Babylon, Persia, and Greece, we eventually received freedom from them.  Why?  They did not have the blessing that Eisav has: as long as we don't do our job, he will have the upper hand.  That is why, even in a low state, we eventually got out of the first three exiles, but Eisav?  He has something special.  As long as we don't do our job, he will continue to oppress us.  There is no way out, in that case.

That is where Yishmoel comes in.  He too, has no such promise. If Yishmoel is in charge, then we have a chance of redemption, even if we are not worthy.  That is why Yishmoel slowly takes over Eisav's "exile" (as we see being played out throughout Europe and America today).  That is why Avraham asked for Yishmoel to be around.  Without Yishmoel, we would be stuck with Eisav forever.  But, with Yishmoel and his lack of protection, if you will, we can be redeemed, even if we are not worthy, by Moshiach "riding on a donkey" aka, Yishmoel.

Again, there is a lot more depth to this, and I hope I explained this one concept well.  Hopefully, it will give us a bit of hope about the situation in the world today.  Yes, Yishmoel is taking over and what we see is not making any sense to us.  However, "under the hood," things are happening, and they are happening for the good of the Jewish nation.  It will be a very rough ride, but in the end, the donkey will be subdued, and we will be redeemed.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

I told my daughter before she left that there are two sources of holiness in the United States.  The first is the Burger Buddy from Ken's Diner in Chicago.  The second is the Slurpee.  Being a spiritual being that she is, she went and bought a Slurpee to achieve high levels of holiness (and caffeine).  She reported back two things: 1) How HUGE the American version of "medium" is compared to the Israeli version 2) After drinking half of it, she started to feel sick.

Mission Accomplished.

I saw an interesting question, by Rav Pincus (of course).  In this week's parsha, when the nation began to complain about a lack of water, Hashem told Moshe to speak to the rock and water will flow from it.  Instead, Moshe hit the rock, which caused water to flow out, but also left Moshe with the punishment of not being able to enter Eretz Yisroel.  This episode has left a lot of big people to wonder and write about what exactly was the sin that Moshe did to deserve such a punishment.

However, Rav Pincus notes that we do not see anywhere that Moshe attempted to do teshuva.  We know that he davened and pleaded Hashem to let him enter, yet we know that teshuva is greater than davening.  So, why is it that he did not attempt to do teshuva?

We know that the bigger the person is, the more accountable he is for his actions.  Being that Moshe ranks pretty high, it's possible to say that he himself had no real grasp on exactly what made his sin so great that he could not enter Eretz Yisroel.  If so, how can he do teshuvah for something that he knows not of?

It's similar to how people, right before Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur go around and ask "Please forgive me for anything that I might have done this year."  It seems pretty empty to me.  If you're going to do teshuvah or ask for forgiveness, you sort of have to know what you did wrong in the first place in order to try to correct it in the future.

From this we see something else.  Sometimes we see people, usually in positions of power, in my experience, who will never ask others for forgiveness.  Nor do they ever change.  The entire community can clearly see the person's faults, but no matter what, that person will never change.  Perhaps, from here, we see why.  A person can only change if he knows that he did something wrong and what he did wrong.  Without that first step, he can never truly change.

We can learn from this the importance of always trying to be aware of one's actions.  All the more so, if others make our actions known to us.  If we cannot at least acknowledge that we did something wrong, we have no possible way of correcting it.

With that, I wish you all a wonderful Shabbos!

My wife was speaking to a friend of hers about the recent "shockwave" caused by Roe v. Wade being overturned.  My wife, while certainly not pro-choice, was pointing out some of the negative outcomes that will result from it.  Her friend was adamant that abortion was wrong under all circumstances, with the exception of the mother's life, and if there are issues, it's not our problem.  My wife, in turn, pointed out a source in the Torah which would hint otherwise.  A few hours later, her friend called back and said, "After speaking to my husband about this, I see that I have a very Christian view on abortion …"

It was disturbing to hear some of the celebrations that some in the frum world were making in the United States.  For me, from my little understanding, the Constitution does not protect abortion, and until Congress enacts a law, the federal government has no right to protect abortion-rights throughout the country.  So, for me, it's a matter of legality, not morality (I could be wrong on that, but I'm no legal scholar).  On the State-level or if Congress ever decides to do something about it, THEN it becomes a moral question.  But even so, from a halachic stance, the issue of abortion is NOT so simple and black and white as people think it is.

It scares me more and more what's going on in the States.  It's known that reform Judaism is simply the Democratic Party, but "Jewishsized."  However, over the years, many in the frum world are simply taking the Republican Party and "Jewishsizing" it as well.  The Torah view on abortion is not clear-cut and is a big question that if, G-d forbid, somebody might need it, they don't go to some local rabbi, they go to much bigger Torah scholars.  If anything, it could be argued that it's better for a frum person to have easy access to abortion then to live in a place where they have extremely strict rules, because the Torah might view abortion more liberally than Christians and some in the Republican party do.

Again, I'm not taking sides on this issue, it's not for people like you and I to decide.  And if you want to have arguments about the whether the Constitution protects such things, fine.  No problem.  But those are just legal arguments.  However, I'm a bit worried that some might be replacing parts of Torah with politics, and Jewish history is very clear on what happens when we do that…

"Listen you rebels, shall we get water for you out of this rock?" (Bamidbar 20: 10).

This week's parsha contains the famous incident where the nation ran out of water, the people complained to Moshe, Hashem told Moshe to speak to the rock to obtain water, Moshe hits the rock and is punished by not being allowed to enter Eretz Yisroel.

There is an argument amongst the commentators on exactly what Moshe did wrong to deserve such a harsh punishment.  Some of which we covered in previous years.

The Ohr HaChaim writes that Moshe was punished for the harsh language he used when confronting the nation, calling them "rebels."

From this we learn the importance of how we speak to people when they need reproach.  Hitting hard tends not to bring people closer to your point of view.  Speaking with patience and respect, however, might just do so.

I'm familiar with a certain shul here in Israel.  When I first came to it, I saw that the rav was trying to strengthen his congregation in certain areas where they were being lax.  His language was a bit tough, but nothing too tough, and he was correct in what he was saying.  However, over time, I saw that nobody changed, nor did anybody really care for what he was saying.  I couldn't understand such a mentality.  After all, what he said was true!

After more time, I began to realize what was going on.  The rav was the rav.  How he became the rav, I don't know, however, it was clear that the rav had no real connection with his congregation, and in turn, his congregation had no real connection to him.  As one person told me, "He's less of a spiritual leader and more of a shul manager."

Since the rav could not "bring himself down" to make an emotional connection with the individuals in the shul, they in turn could not bring themselves "up" to listen to his words.  In the end, he became more distanced from them and they … continued to do what they wanted.

It's a sad story, really.  Had the rav shown that he cared for each individual, he could have made a real positive change in his community.  Instead, he remained "above it all" and affected nobody (at least for the positive).

This story is obviously applicable to everybody on their own level, whether as a teacher, parent, or friend.  If you want to help a person in their life, the only way they will accept your advice is if they know that you actually do care about them.  When they sense that you are simply angry about something, or you have a desire to correct them, so you feel good about yourself, in the end, they will not listen to you and your status in their eyes will only drop.

Hopefully, with this lesson, we can be better teachers, parents, and friends to others.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

My six-year old wanted to go to art lessons that somebody was offering privately.  We were a bit skeptical that he would be able to sit and concentrate for an hour, but, we said we could try it out.  Surprisingly, he enjoyed it very much and was focused the entire time.  The first week, he came home with a beautiful chicken he drew, by looking and copying.  The second week, fish, the third, a peacock.

 

Two weeks ago on Shabbos night, my wife visited a neighbor while the boys and I went to shul.  The neighbor, who has very artistic talents and taste made mention to my wife on what a wonderful artist my son has become.  A bit confused, my wife thanked her and asked her how she knew.  It turns out her son, who's in the same kindergarten and shares his mother's tastes, saw another chicken my son was working on and offered to buy it from him for 10 agarot.

 

The mother was so impressed with the work, she is going to get it framed.

 

A famous artist at the age of six.  Not bad!

 

A chok is a law that has no logical explanation for it.  That is exactly why the law of Parah Adumah (the burning of the Red Heifer) is called a chok.  For some reason, the burning of this cow and the sprinkling of its ashes purifies those who have been rendered impure.  All other laws are understandable on some level.  For many of those laws, you need to be very well learned and on a high spiritual level to understand.  For others, you don't need to be in order to understand.

 

On one level though, most of the Torah is a chok.  The entire concept of Hashem giving us the Torah is something we cannot touch or sense or experience.  Of course, we're not like the Christians where we simply need to "have faith and believe."  We have proofs and a very clear-cut tradition handed down, unchanged for thousands of years.  But still, following the Torah in today's world seems to be … not logical, according to the standards of the time.

 

Of course, what are the standards of the time?  I'm hearing things from America which are truly scary.  Hospitals having policies not to tell parents whether a son or a daughter was born to them, since "who are we to determine the gender of the child"?  Boys can use girls' locker rooms.  Boys can be girls, girls can be boys.  If you have white skin, you are a natural racist.  If you have black skin, you have been persecuted no matter if you have or not.  Rioters are called protestors.   All men are sexist pigs.  All women are victims of the patriarchy.   Terrorist organizations that openly admit to targeting civilians are given a free pass and free money to rebuild their arsenal.  What's wrong is right and what's right is wrong.

 

The list goes on.

 

The Moshgiach from my yeshiva once likened today's situation to a group of people who were kicked out of their homes.  As they were walking in the countryside, they came to an orange orchard and were delighted at their find.  However, on the entrance was a sign that said, "We were here before you. Many of us ate the oranges and ended up going crazy. Don't make the same mistake!"  Of course, an argument ensued on what to do.  Many decided they had nothing to lose; they were hungry.  So, they ate.  And went crazy.  Then more people gave in, and they too went crazy.  Finally, there was one person left. What should he do?  He sees reality for what it is.  But, he's alone and he's suffering, while everybody else seems to be happy and oblivious to the fact that they are crazy!  Can you truly blame him for wanting to give up?  After all, what difference does it make anymore if he goes crazy or not, since crazy is the new normal!

 

This is where we are holding.  We have a world full of craziness.  You literally don't know what is considered right and what is considered wrong!

 

A few years ago at work, I got a reprimand for joking that "I'm a man, it's in my DNA to like pizza."  Because, and I didn't know this, DNA has no correlation to gender (anymore), and I need to be more sensitive to other workers.  It took me several days of speaking to other employees to figure out what exactly I did wrong!  I had no idea what I could have said that was possibly insulting.

 

The Moshgiach continued and said that we have a tradition that the period before the coming of Moshiach will be like this.  He said that really Hashem wanted us, the Jewish people, to fix ourselves, and soar to the spiritual heights, in order to bring Moshiach.  It seems that we could not to that.  So instead, he did the opposite.  He sunk the world down to levels never seen before.  And for us?  All we need to do is hang on to where we are at and not sink down with it.  In THAT merit will Moshiach come.

 

If you keep Torah and mitzvos in today's world you're looked at like a strange person. If you dress and act in the opposite gender, you're looked at as normal.  People, Jews and non-Jews, will ask you why you feel the need to keep to such barbaric laws.  And you cannot logically explain it to them.  Even if you could do so, they would most likely be unable to understand.  In the past you could, but today?  I doubt it.  It's a chok.  It's unexplainable to the outside world.  But, when Hashem is looking down on this world and seeing what the human race is doing to it, and he sees a Jew doing mitzvos here and a Jew doing mitzvos there, no matter how big or small, it makes an impression on Him and it serves as a reminder that there ARE people who want to remain normal, no matter how turbulent the world around them becomes.

 

There's a famous "story" of a king who had a wonderful garden which he would use every day to calm his nerves.  Once, he had to leave his garden for a while, and while he was gone, those in charge were negligent.  At that point, the king, now disturbed by his garden, decided to raze the entire thing and start anew.  As he was looking over the remains, he found one rose, unaffected by the destruction.  At that point, the king said, "For the sake of this rose, I will keep and repair the garden."

 

Hashem created a beautiful world for us to live in.  Unfortunately, we are destroying it with madness.  But when he looks and sees a rose here and a rose there, that rose, despite what the world thinks, is really saving them.

The Moshgiach from the yeshiva I learned in, in Yerushaliyim, gave his weekly schmooze last night.

He brought in the famous parable of a king who had a beautiful garden that he used to go and relax in every day.  Once, he needed to travel out of town, and he left the garden in the hands of a few of his servants.  His servants, not being the most competent servants, did not care for the garden properly and let it rot away.

When the king came back, he looked in dismay at what was left and decided that he would have to raze everything and build it from scratch.  As he was going through what remained of the garden, he saw in the rubble, a small rose, still alive and healthy.  He decided on the spot, that for the sake of this rose, he will not raze the garden, but rather repair it.

The parable is clear.  The king is Hashem, the garden is the world, the servants are those running the world, and the rose is the Jewish nation.

He continued and said that many people ask how is it possible that despite everything Pharaoh saw, how is it that he continued for more than 10 plagues to fight against Hashem?  His entire world was falling apart around him, yet he refused to stand down and rather tear it down.

We see that question being played out today.

We are living in a world of complete and utter craziness.  Many thought that Covid was going to be a game-changer, but we see, that Covid is nothing compared to what human beings are continuing to bring upon themselves.

We are in a time where justice is perverse.  Where criminals are sainted and police officers who are in violent situations are prosecuted for murder even before an investigation is launched.  Where communities are calling for the defunding of police while murder rates rise.  We are living in a time where things like chess are questionable because "why does white always go first?"  We are in a world where thugs can take over entire areas of cities, and the politicians and media, play down or even sympathize with these criminals.  Abraham Lincoln and Ulysses Grant are targets for being racist, and makeup companies refuse to use terms like "whitener" or "light".  There have been people, who have been victims of crime, who've had guns put to their heads, or have seen criminal acts in progress, who proudly wrote that they did not call the police, because they did could not blame the perpetrator, and did not want harm to befall them.

One of the signs of "birth pangs of Moshiach" is an upside-down world, he said, and we are most certainly living in such a world.

However, we too are affected by nonsense.  He said, when it comes down to taking headache medicine, we have no qualms and take it.  However, when it comes down to wearing masks in public, social distancing, and other things that our doctors (and rabbeim) are telling us to do… well… suddenly we become professors and know better.  Around the world, we are seeing an upwards trend of infections, and while the numbers do favour the young, they certainly do not favour the old.  And yet… to follow such things or to at least do ones best… we can't be bothered, because all of a suddenly we know better.  You don't need to be a big professor to understand such simple logic of why you should follow these rules… just learn history.  Learn from the Spanish Flu and how different cities with different rules fared.  But alas… what doctors and rabbeim say do not matter.  The lives of others who are more at risk than yours is not as important as your convenience.

He continued and brought in a story of the Brisker Rav who was walking with somebody in the street.  He stopped when he saw some children playing and asked, "Why is it that children always seem happy?"

His companion guessed, "Perhaps because they have no worries"?

"Of course they have worries!  But their worries don't seem important to us, but they are certainly important to them!  The reason that they seem happy is because Hashem made a beautiful world, and they are still pure enough to recognize that fact and see it".

Hashem made a beautiful world for us and look what mankind has done to it.  Look where our 'greatness' has led us.  Yes, we have amazing technology and medicine, but what has become of the person?

It is specifically during this time, even when we ourselves are under pressure, between Covid, the world falling apart, and 'regular' life, that we need to cling to the Torah.  The rest of the world is falling apart, because THEY make up what is right and what is wrong.  But we have the Torah which TELLS us what is right and what is wrong.

If we start to let go, we too will follow down the path of foolishness and destruction, where justice is cruelty and cruelty is justice.  But when we learn and follow halacha and Torah, when we learn what is really right and what is really wrong, we, the remnants of the Kings garden, will continue to thrive.

I wish you all a wonderful Shabbos!

I was always jealous of those who went to Rav Ovadia Yosef.  When he gave brachos, they were usually accompanied by a slap in the face.  I always wanted one of those, and such a thing doesn’t occur in the Ashkanazi world.

Well, I was wrong.

This week, I made a quick trip to Yerushaliyim to see a certain Chassidish rav.  After speaking to him, he stood up, put his hands on my head, gave me several brachos, and continued to slap me around as he did so.

It felt good.

So good, that I started doing it to my children.  It feels good for me, not so much for them.

Okay, on to Torah!

One of the more popular things about the Parah Adumah (red heifer), is that it seems to be a bit of a contradiction.  When burned into ashes and sprinkled on a person who has been ritually impure from contact with the dead, it makes the impure person pure, yet the pure individuals who make it, become impure.

This, says Rav Pincus, is a basis in our spiritual lives.  The times that we are spiritually on the rise, are the times that we are most susceptible to a spiritual downfall.  And the times that we are on a spiritual low, we have the greatest opportunity to grow.

Rav Pincus compares this to a person who has a clean, white shirt.  After several days of wearing it, small spots of this dirt or that sauce appear on the shirt.  However, they’re small and not really recognizable, so the person can continue to wear the shirt.  Then, one day, the person starts getting bothered by them, and attempts to clean them off.  So, he gets a wet cloth and starts rubbing away.  What happens?  Those small stains begin to spread out more from all the wiping.  Now the shirt looks worse than it did before!

During the year, we pick up spots here and there.  However, the shirt is generally clean and we don’t focus on them.  This enables us to continue on and move forward.  However, there are certain times, such as the months of Tammuz (which we just entered) and Av, where we start to notice those spots and start to worry about them.  At this point, things begin to get a bit dangerous.  By focusing on those spots, one risks making things even worse.  While acknowledging our sins is one thing, putting too much focus and emphasis on them, can easily lead one to depression and descent.  And from here, the pure can become impure.

The goal during this time of the year is to recognize that we have spots, see what caused those spots to begin with, and come up with a plan not to attract any more spots to our spiritual shirt.  But, let’s not focus too much on the spots, because we run the real risk of making the rest of the shirt dirty as well.

Have a great Shabbos!

This week my wife and I took our Annual “What? We Have Children?” Vacation together.

We rented a small car for two days, and put my 12-year-old daughter in charge of everybody.  On the first day, we drove parallel to the Lebanese border, visiting random sites and places.  We went from the sea to where the Kinneret would be (but further north).  Then drove south near Haifa so my wife could visit IKEA (of course), followed by a trip to the Mediterranean after sunset.  We returned home at 11 p.m.  The next day, we took care of the kids and headed towards the Golan where we visited a hiking site with 10 minutes of water-hiking.  Went to daven in Meron, did some food shopping, and returned home in the middle of the afternoon.

We clocked in around 500 km of driving, and for a former Chicago guy, driving in the mountains is still a blast!  Too bad we have to wait for next year to do it again.

Okay, on to more important things.

(It’s a good thing I’ve been learning all these mishnayos, or I wouldn’t have what to say this week!)

“G-d sent poisonous snakes against the people, and when they began biting the people . . . God said to Moshe, ‘Make for yourself [the image of] a venomous snake, and place it on a banner . . . . Everyone who is bitten shall look at it and live’” (Bamidbar 20:6-8).

When the Jewish nation was plagued with poisonous snakes, Hashem told Moshe to build a copper snake for all to look at, and then they would be saved.  Of course, it wasn’t a matter of “Look at the snake and your life will be saved,” but rather they would look at the snake, be reminded of what they did, and daven to Hashem to be saved.

“Six things King Chizkiyahu did, on three of them, the rabbis agreed with him, and on three, they disagreed with him . . . they agreed with him when he ground up the copper snake and hid the book of cures (which Shlomo HaMelech wrote that would cure everybody from whatever ailments they had)” (Pesachim 4:9).

Before and during his time, the Jewish people started taking this snake a bit too seriously, giving it the status of a god.  The same with the “Book of Cures,” people started turning to IT instead of turning to Hashem!  Therefore, Chizkiyahu destroyed the snake and hid the book, so people would once again turn to Hashem for help.

In today’s world of advancing technology, we become more and more sure of ourselves to be able to solve all sorts of problems.  Cancer?  A matter of time. AIDS? Coming close. Food supplies? Working on it.  Computers in every home in Africa? Coming up!  Technology will save us all!

Just recently, the government issued a warning to the residents of northern Israel that if we don’t have a good rainfall this winter, they might begin turning off the water for several hours every day.

So, now what?

We’re living in a first world country (granted, with a third-world mentality sometimes, but it keeps things fun), which is responsible for some of the best leaps in modern technology.  Yet, the entire north is facing a water crisis.

When a person is sick, he goes to the doctor.  When he needs a job, he searches around and speaks to people.  When he has an issue with some government body, an Israeli would find a friend or family member who works in the same office to bypass that problem.  All these things are fine, and are things that we are supposed to do.  But we CANNOT forget that, despite everything we do, EVERYTHING comes from Hashem, and we need to constantly daven for Him to provide us with what we need.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

One of the most corrupt government offices is the Israeli Post Office.  If you want a cushy job where you don’t have to actually work, that is the place.  It’s not unknown for peoples' packages to go missing, checks to be stolen, etc. It’s happened to us, once too often.  In fact, we sent letters to friends in Yerushaliyim, and they received them 6 weeks later!  Three of those weeks, they were sitting in the outgoing letter box!

We’ve been expecting a few packages that we ordered two months ago and never received.  You’re supposed to receive a ticket with the information, go to the pick-up center, and get your package.  But, like many times, we haven’t actually received the ticket.  After a while, since you can’t pick it up, they send the package back to the sender saying that we never came to pick it up.  So, I walked into the pick-up center and said that I haven’t received the tickets, but I believe the packages are there, and I want to go in to check myself.  “Impossible,” he said.  “We have over a thousand packages that people aren’t picking up, since they are never being told that they have them in the first place.”

Sigh.

But what made me really mad was last week government officials came to the kollel to check the attendance.  Since the kollels receive a paltry sum of assistance from the government, the government wants to make sure that people are actually showing up to learn.  If the minimum amount of people aren’t there, the kollel loses the assistance.  Why can’t they do the same thing with every other governmental agency?

Before we begin, my wife asked that I put out this link:  https://thechesedfund.com/cause/save-chaya.  A mother in our community has been fighting the good fight against her illness for several years now.  The photo on the page is from three years ago—she's aged 20 years since—and is in a very difficult situation, to say the least.  If anybody has a little to help her, every bit will be going to a very legitimate cause.

In this week’s parsha, Moshe is punished for hitting the rock, rather than speaking to it, to bring forth water.  As the Rambam writes: “Moshe’s transgression was that he inclined towards anger when he said, ‘Listen, now O rebellious ones!’  Hashem was critical of him for becoming angry in the presence of the congregation of Israel in a situation that did not warrant it.  Such conduct in a man of his stature constitutes a desecration of Hashem’s name because everyone learns from his actions and his speech.”

Rav Shach said on this, “From here we can infer the heavy responsibility that lies upon an educator.  He must serve as a shining example for his pupils and exhibit every good trait.”

Once, a young girl became seriously ill and let her teacher know how much it helped when she came to visit her in the hospital.  The teacher, however, was concerned that the amount of time she was spending at the hospital with the student would affect her ability in the classroom, where she had other responsibilities.  She went to Rav Shach to ask where her priorities lay.  He responded that the concern she showed for her student was in itself a tremendous lesson for the rest of the girls.

As we mentioned last week, the greatest education that people can give is through their own growth and sacrifice.  Setting an example is far more powerful, both in the negative and positive, then what one teaches in the classroom or at home.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

When it was announced before Pesach that we would be learning the halachos of mezuzah, we were wondering “where did THAT come from”.

We figured it out.

Our Rosh Kollel is obviously working with the local mezuzah writers and is getting a cut of any future deals. It’s the only explanation.

The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you need to do. Now, people are realizing (including myself) that they have certain places where they are really obligated to put up a mezuzah.

However, I’m happy to say, I DID save myself some money. I’m overdue to get my mezuzos checked, and I just saw that you can do it yourself and don’t need to be an expert in the field, as long as you know the mezuzos were 100% to begin with.

Ha! Take THAT Rosh Kollel!!

Okay, on to Torah!
“Because of that, they who speak in parables (Moshlim) say: ‘Come to Cheshbon. Let the city of Sichon be built and established’” (Bamidbar 21:27)

The Gemara (Bava Basra 78b) says on the above verse that the “Moshlim” are those who rule over their impulses. “Come to Cheshbon” while the Torah is speaking of a place, it literally means, “come to make a calculation (cheshbon)”.

The Gemara continues, “Think about what you lose by performing a good deed and weigh that against all that you lose by performing a good deed and weigh that against all that you gain from it. Think about what you gain from transgressing and weight that against what you lose. If you do this, you will be built up in this world, and will be established in the world to come”

A person who does not regularly take time to go over his life and where he is heading, is comparable to a person who is driving without bothering to look at any signs, not knowing where exactly he is going. The important part, for him, is that he is going… which direction? That’s not so important.

However, a person who takes is constantly looking at the different signs on his drive, or in his life, will be able to reach his destination on time and in good condition.

Five minutes a day to give thought of what you did right, what you did wrong, how to improve and where are you going, can save you a lot of trouble down the road, and most importantly, deliver you to your destination.

Have a great Shabbos!

Earlier this week, my wife went on a “Nofesh Nashim,” which indirectly translates to “Hundreds of religious women from all over the country descending on a hotel off the Kineret, where they get to eat, sleep, swim, and who-knows-what-else for three days, while their husbands take care of the children.”

Again, a rough translation, but pretty accurate.

I told my wife before she left that she had nothing to worry about, since the second she leaves the door, Martial Law will be declared. Being that, all the children were in bed on time, were bathed in record time, were clothed, fed, and shipped off to their respective places in the morning, earlier than usual, etc… When she came home, she attempted to feed them dinner, left the house a mess, and could not get them in bed without fights.

Why?

Fear of Abbah.

The only solution to children.

Of course, singing the tune to “The British Grenadiers” when marching them to bed, certainly does help set the tone of “Get out of line, and you’ll die.”

Okay, on to Torah!
“This is the Torah, when a man dies in a tent” (Bamidbar 19:14)

While this pasuk is speaking of a different subject, the Talmud (Berachos 63b) learns from here, that a person’s Torah remains with him, only when he "kills" himself over it.

Somebody was discussing the idea of learning together with me in the kollel. I explained my reluctance, because we have a few major differences. I come on time and I learn straight through. He comes late and has bursts of learning and periods of "zoning out" or falling asleep because he was up until 2 a.m. talking on the phone with family members or chatting with his wife, etc…

He exclaimed, “No… the problem is you’re not American, you’re English and have to run on time and do everything in order, while I’m Israeli and I’m more relaxed about everything.” I wanted to point out that that was probably one of the dumbest excuses I’ve ever heard, and that I had no interest in continuing this conversation with his Yetzer Horah, and that he can come back to me when he regains control of his brain.

The fact is, a Ben Torah, comes to learn on time (barring a good excuse, obviously), and plans his day around his learning in order to maximize it, and THEN does his best to maximize it. End of story.

Is it hard? Yes. But that’s how your Torah will stay with you. If not in this world, certainly in the Next.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

I just saw the beginning of an editorial about the ongoing controversy with the Women of the Wall. It seems that the Knesset had a meeting of the Interior Committee. The head of the Women of the Wall came of course, to represent her group. She came dressed in a colorful tallis that she wears to the Kotel. The chairwoman ordered her to remove the tallis, since it was violating the norms of the Knesset, and that such provocations would not be tolerated. This prompted one of the religious ministers to think, “In the Knesset, it’s considered to be against the norms, is considered provocative and is not allowed; yet at the Kotel, the holiest place for the Jewish people… well, THERE, it’s okay?”

Logical?

Okay, on to Torah!

“This is the decree of the Torah,… and they shall take to you a completely red cow, which is without blemish… someone shall burn the cow before his eyes…a pure man shall gather the ash of the cow … for water of sprinkling; it is for purification” (Bamidbar 1-10)

This week’s parsha opens with the laws concerning the famous “red cow”, which is burnt and whose ashes are used to purify those who are impure. This is what the Torah describes as a “chok”, a law with no logical purpose that we can understand.

However, like everything, it is something we can learn from.

This ‘red cow’ is the representation of physical “delights”, or “gashmiyus”. It’s not simply the physical world, but it’s the enjoyment we get from the physical world. This concept is not so new. One of the ways we can tell how affluent a country is, is by their yearly meat consumption.

The more we imbibe in this gashmiyus, the more our personal “red cow” grows. The fatter it becomes, the farther we move from Hashem, as it says, “But Jeshurun (the Jewish nation) grew fat, and kicked. You have grown fat.” (Devarim 32:15)

What is the answer to this problem? Just as we burn the red cow and use it’s ashes to purify us, so do we need to take this ‘cow’ of ours and burn it to ashes.

Let’s take cell phones, for example, since they are such easy targets. I have no idea what it’s like in America, however, judging from what I see here, it must be REALLY bad over there.

Here we have a cell phone. A very useful piece of technology. It allows us to constantly be in contact with anybody around the world. When used properly, it can make one’s life much easier. However, there’s a flip-side. Along with the phone, comes unlimited internet access, games, movies, music, and who knows what else. I don’t think one can argue about the negative influences these things have had. Wherever I walk, people are staring into their phones in a mind-numbing sort of way. Parents take their children to the park, let them run wild, while the parent flips around in their phone. Drivers are busy texting. Couples are sitting together on park benches staring into their phones, without one word of communication between them. I need not go on.

Thankfully, the religious world in Israel caught on to this pretty quickly. For years we’ve had “kosher phones”, which… I know this might surprise you… only make and receive phone calls.

A shock, no?

No movies, no internet, no games, no nothing (outside a calculator and a few gadgets like that). The technology is made in a way, that you cannot use other SIM cards these phones, and the kosher phones all have special prefixes, so you know who has one and who doesn’t. On top of that, it’s enforced. You want your kid in an ultra-Orthodox school? That means you can only have kosher phones in your house.

Personally, I think this is one of the best rules that have come out in a long time.

For years, I was living in a religious community, where I KNEW the dangers of phones and internet, but I didn’t SEE it. Then, I moved here and I saw it all firsthand. While the secular kids are out in the park with drooling over their phones, the religious ones are in the shul doing “extra-curricular” learning or out playing and interacting with other children. Religious couples actually talk to each other face-to-face and not via Facebook to Facebook. Cell phone owners are operating their phones most of their day, destroying productivity of whatever they were doing. The religious community operates their phones when they need to make a call, and that’s that. Yes, it’s a tad harder not to have the world at your fingertips when everybody else does, but at least you remain a thinking human being.

So, in the case of cell phones, it’s easy to see how to “burn the cow”. The dangers involved and what it turns you into are enough that a logically-thinking human being can see them and understand that this particular cow needs to stay nice and trim.

So too with all other forms of gashmiyus. We need to weigh carefully what we need and what we don’t need. Then we need to take what we don’t need and mentally burn it up. Not only do we not NEED it, but we also don’t WANT it. When we separate ourselves from that level of gashmiyus, we can approach Hashem at a whole new level.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

The rav of the city was in court last week, along with officials from the city.

There was an unused school building that the city gave to the rav to put his yeshivah. Some citizens, not liking the idea of Torah being learned in their city, took the rav and the city to court. I asked a friend who works with the rav how it went. He laughed and said it went pretty well. In court, the other side made a power point presentation on the history of the school, showing Jews and Arabs working together to build the building and peace and friendship, and then they showed slides of the Neturei Karta burning Israeli flags and visiting Iran, saying that if the court does not stop the growth of the evil Ultra-Orthodox, than the city will be filled with “these kind of people”. This is somewhat strange, given the good relationship between the religious and secular in the city.

It reminded me a little of an essay that somebody forwarded to me. The author, calls himself Orthodox, has the title “rabbi”, is very “open-minded”, and of course… is a proud Zionist. “How do we solve the problem with the Ultra-Orthodox’s power in Israel?” he asks all the way from his pulpit in America.

Simple. Annex the West Bank; give all the Arabs voting rights. Encourage immigration of non-Jews to Israel; give them voting rights. Everybody will vote for left-wing parties and wipe out the religious parties.

It amazes me how you have groups like the Neturei Karta which go so far to the right, and people like these, who go so far to the left actually MEET up! Now you have both the far-right and the far-left wanting the same thing: giving over Eretz Yisroel to the Arabs.

Thankfully, these people are in the minority. May it continue to be so…

Okay, on to Torah!
There’s a big argument amongst the commentators on what exactly the sin was that Moshe committed concerning the rock which he was supposed to speak to in order to produce water. One of the more popular opinions is that he got upset at the nation for testing and doubting Hashem, and hit the rock instead of actually speaking to it. Many other commentators have opinions which also revolved around the fact that Moshe did not use his power of speech properly.

The Gemara (Kiddushin 49b) notes that ten measures of speech were given to the world, and, believe it or not, women received nine measures. My Rosh Yeshiva said you can see this clearly in how most men and women handle their children when they misbehave. While the wife believes that they should sit down and talk with their child about their issues, the husband rubs his hands together with glee and mummers, “Wait until I get my hands on him…” In fact, in my house, we take it even further. My children know that when they behave well, they’ll be punished. Just this morning, I gave my son a light tap on the cheek because he got dressed nicely and didn’t cause trouble. I assured him that tomorrow morning if he doesn’t cry and scream, he’ll get an even bigger punishment (usually involves being thrown on the couch and sat on… it’s good to be a father).

My Rosh Yeshivah continued and said that a person needs to be careful with his speech. He must understand who he is addressing, what position in life they are holding at, how they are holding emotionally at this time, etc… When speaking to your wife, you speak in one way. When speaking to your friend, you speak in another way.

This is especially true when emotions are running hot. He said that the most dangerous animal in the world is a hungry male, and you simply cannot speak to one. First, you must feed it, and THEN you will be able to speak to it. I was always told that one should keep some crackers with him at yeshivah so if he is hungry before going home, he can eat something and be in a more receptive mood to his wife. G-d forbid she should deal with him, when he’s hungry. So again, we need to be especially careful with our speech when under physical, emotional, or spiritual distress.

With these pointers in mind, we can maintain healthy and balanced relationships with family and friends.

Have a great Shabbos!