Balak

I'm on vacation! Well … sort of …

We have not had the honor of seeing my mother-in-law in three years, thanks to Covid.  Being that she's not sure when she can come next, she offered to fly my wife and three daughters to the US for 10 days.  It's exciting for them, since my wife hasn't been back in 13 years, and while my oldest was there then, she was too young for her to remember.

So, on one hand, the estrogen level dropped to the negatives AND I can get a solid five-hour sleep every night, instead of being woken up by Ms. I-Don't-Like-To-Sleep-Ever. On the other hand, I'm left with three boys who are as worthless as snails in the summer heat.

Okay, maybe I'm being too hard on them.  But maybe not … they are boys after all.

(Just got a message from my wife that they landed and she slept the whole trip.  Figures.)

So, for the next 10 days, it's just the boys.  On Shabbos night, since they don't eat anything real, we're planning on making my famous "Sandwich of Death," which consists of cold cuts (which we never have, thanks to Mrs. Healthy), chummus, onions, pickles, etc. The greatness of it, is that when you eat it, it closes your arteries to the point where you can barely breath.  It's a very spiritual experience.

I'll take them out of school for two days to do some local trips and we'll try to keep things fun, so they don't feel too bad for not going.  We should be fine.  I guess, what I'll probably enjoy the most is the fact that at 9:30 p.m., when my oldest goes to bed, there will be HOURS of silence, without my wife and oldest daughter around.  Maybe I should buy some ice cream and eat it in my pajamas.

Okay, where was I?

"How fair are your tents, O Jacob, Your dwellings, O Israel!" (Bamidbar 24: 5).

I saw an interesting point last week regarding this parsha.  Here we have Bilaam, somebody who received prophecy on a regular basis, who speaks "one on one" with Hashem.  When Balak sends emissaries to bring him to curse the Jewish nation, he tells them that he first needs to ask permission from Hashem.  And permission was denied.

Shortly after, a larger group was sent with more promises of riches, and Bilaam, thinking, or perhaps hoping, that Hashem will change His mind, asks again, and this time he is given permission, on the condition that he says only what Hashem tells him.

Happily, he goes on his way, hoping to change His mind even further.

On the way, his donkey starts acting up and behaving in a strange way.  After becoming frustrated with it, he begins to beat it, until the donkey speaks up, telling him that Hashem is clearly not in favor of this!  And even after that, Bilaam continues on his journey.

Only until he actually goes into his trance to curse the Jewish people is Bilaam shaken to his core, unable to even whisper a curse against them.  On one of those occasions, Bilaam praises the "tents" and "dwellings" of the Jewish nation.  Many explain that this praise was based on the fact that each family had their opening facing in a way that it should not see into somebody else's tent.

Note: they were positioned not that others should look into theirs, bur rather that THEY should not come to peer into somebody else's property.

THIS is what put a shock into Bilaam, the care that each individual had for their neighbor.

Those who have learned Gemara know that there is great emphasis on how one can build their homes and their fields, making sure that it does not cause any damage or pain to their neighbors.  And this "small" thing brought Bilaam to a standstill.

I remember the first year I moved to our current location, a group of us, who did not yet have any sukkos, put in an order, en masse, to purchase all the wooden boards and schach together.  The delivery came much later than expected, around 10:30 p.m.  They were to be delivered across the street from me and each person would take what he ordered.

After the truck arrived, we all gathered around to unload it together, and naturally, with all the voices involved, things got a little loud.  It certainly wasn't on purpose and nobody was actually yelling, however, that's the nature of things.  One person quieted everybody down and reminded them that it's 10:30 p.m., we live in a secular area where people are usually enjoying their peace and quiet at this time, and we need to be more careful.  With that, we proceeded in whispers and finished our job.

It made a very positive impression on me.  It's natural, when engaged with something, not to think about others.  Certainly not neighbors.  Yet, at the same time, it's extremely important to do so at all times.  And as a note: despite the growth of the religious community, there are very few, if any, issues between secular and religious, because both sides respect the others.

I've heard reports of certain places in the States where the frum community slowly moves in, and the next thing you know, as makeshift shuls start up, so does traffic, parking problems, and noise.  Which in turn angers the non-Jewish neighbors, which only serves to ignite anti-semitism.

On the other hand, a friend of mine, several years ago, told me of a chassidish group in England which moved out of London and wished to start a small community out in the middle of nowhere.  However, that town was occupied by very English Englishmen.  However, they did things with intelligence.  Before moving in, with the encouragement of some of the important town officials who wanted to see things move smoothly, several "get togethers" were made so both communities would come to understand and respect each other.  The chassidim came to understand the local population and the local population came to understand the chassidim, along with their laws and traditions.

When we think about others around us, whether Jewish or not, secular or religious, and do our best to see that THEY are happy with us, then they too (hopefully) will do the same.  And through this type of attitude, can there be a healthy peace between people.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

You know, if Moshiach comes this week, it’s all because of me.

Yesterday, when I was in the kollel, my cellphone started to buzz.  My general rule is to never answer it while I’m learning, unless it’s my wife or my work.  My wife, for obvious reasons…I don’t want to die.  And my work, because I know that if they are calling me at the kollel, something bad must be happening.

I saw that the number was from outside of Israel, so thinking it was my work, I ran out and answered it.

“Hello…”, said the thick Indian accent, “I’m calling from the Microsoft Server Protection Center…”

My heart jumped! 

TO RECEIVE SUCH A CALL IS EVERY PROGRAMMERS DREAM!

Here I have a real live thief on the phone looking to scam me out of tons of money.  I know he’s a thief, he knows he’s a thief, but he doesn’t know that I know.  Nor does he know that I know computers.

I didn’t know what to do, since I really had to go learn, but I really didn’t want to lose this opportunity.  So, I played dumb and told him that I’m not in front of my computer.  So, he asked when he could call, I told him when, and that was that.  Unfortunately, instead of calling me during lunch, he called me again, when I was back in the kollel.  EIGHT TIMES IN A ROW!

Throughout the whole time, I refused to pick up, knowing that my learning was more important.

You have to understand something.

If you take some guy with a bad history with his addiction to people of the opposite gender, and then have somebody of such gender come and “woo” him…well…an Indian scammer on the phone has the same affect on computer people.  Soooooo tempting.  Yet I did NOT give in! I did not pick up the phone!

If the world is not existing in my merit today, I simply don’t know on whose merit it is.

Okay, on to Torah!

“How good are your tents, Yaakov” (Bamidbar 24:5). 

One of the most famous lines to come out was when Bilaam prophesied, “How good are your tents, Yaakov.”  Some explain this to be referring to the fact that each family set their tent up in a way as not to see directly into the that of their neighbors'.  Others explain that this refers to the shuls and yeshivos that the Jewish people center their lives around.

I see both fitting in well with the parsha somehow.

For most of the parsha, with the exception of the end, the entire nation was simply sitting there, living their lives in solitude out in the distance.  We see no action on their parts, certainly no negative action.  And here is Bilaam, while trying to curse the Jewish nation, coming to praise it in their tranquility, both in their homes and their houses of study.

During the week, my bag, sfarim, and my most prized procession, my coffee, stay in the same place in the kollel/shul.  I joke that it’s my home, and my house is my secondary house.  And this is what Bilaam was saying.  “Look at them!  Look at them in the distance!  See the beauty of their homes!  See the beauty of the study halls!”  The center of the Jewish nation rests in both places.  When one’s “occupation” is within the study hall, he learns how to be a Jew.  He can then go home and teach his family how to be Jews.  And when the entire nation is following such a simple recipe, then both "houses" are blessed, and the nation sits in tranquility, not even aware of their foes' attempting to destroy them and being thwarted.

However, at the end of the parsha, we see what happens when we are directed away from our homes.  Both the study halls and our family homes.  When certain people went off found other…distractions, they left their study halls and their wives, and as a result, disaster struck.

How good are your tents, Yaakov.

When we focus our energies on building our twin homes, we will, as a nation, merit peace within both of them.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

My son was in the park in front of the shul last Shabbos watching two boys play ping-pong (it’s the "in-thing" now).  A non-religious boy drives by on his hoverboard (“uh-verrrr-Board” in Hebrew) and stops to watch as well.  Some of the kids start talking to him and asked him why there was a big dent in his hoverboard.  He answered them and asked, “You’re allowed to look at the hoverboard on Shabbos?”  Thy answered that they could, but that they cannot use it.  He was a bit surprised by that answer, and they continued to talk about whatever 10-/11-year-old boys talk about.  After a bit, they invited him to play a round of ping-pong with them.  He happily agreed and “won” the game (the frum kid "must have" been having a bad game).

The time came when the boys usually go read Tehillim together in the shul and they invited him to come with.  He got excited (he’s sphardi, that’s why) and joined them.  He asked for a kipa and a place to keep his hoverboard and they provided everything he needed and even changed the way they say the Tehillim to have more of a sphardi overtone.  They also had a raffle at the end, which he “amazingly” won.  At the end, they offered to let him keep the kipa, and he responded that he doesn’t need it, since he has one at home which he’ll bring next week…without the hoverboard.

Whether or not he comes again this week, it’s good to see young boys having the maturity to act appropriately, and even go a bit "beyond the call of duty" (losing a ping-pong match on purpose is hard) to make another boy feel good and interested in Torah.

The Moshgiach from my yeshiva asked on this week’s parsha: What’s the point of Bilaam’s donkey?  Why did Hashem need to make such a miracle and have it specifically in this story?  In the story itself, the donkey doesn’t play much of a role in the big picture.  Obviously, there’s a message here.

The Midrash explains that when Moshe was commanded to return to Egypt, he initially refused.  First, he cited that Aaron was older and should be the leader.  When Hashem had an answer for him, Moshe responded that he had an obligation to stay and help Yisro.  After all, it was Yisro himself that took Moshe in, when Moshe was fleeing from Egypt.  Since Moshe had hakaras hatov (debt of gratitude) to Yisro... how could he leave him?

Bilaam, the non-Jewish “counterpart” to Moshe, on the other hand was different.  When he set himself to go to Moav, he went with enthusiasm.  When his donkey saw an angel standing in the way, and refused to go any further, Bilaam started to beat the donkey.  In turn, the donkey opened her mouth and said, “Am I not your donkey that you have ridden from your inception until this day?  Have I been accustomed to do such a thing to you?”

An entire miracle was made just for the donkey to say this line.  So, what was she saying?  “Am I not your donkey that you have ridden from your inception?”  I’m not a new donkey.  I have taken you wherever you wanted to go your entire life without question or problem!  “Have I been accustomed to do such a thing to you?”  I have never given you reason to beat me.  I’ve only done good for you and now, that I do something different, for your own benefit, you beat me!? 

This is possibly what Hashem wanted us to learn from Bilaam.  Moshe had hakaras hatov to his father-in-law Yisro for taking him in.  Bilaam?  He lacked this character trait.  To him, the donkey was a donkey, and whether or not it had a history of doing good for him, he was simply going to beat it.

This is the importance of hakaras hatov.  When somebody does good for us, it’s important that we remember this.  How many marriages suffer because one partner refuses to recognize the good the other did for them for so many years, and choose to focus only on the negative.  Employers often forget the good that their employees do for them (my boss reads this) and (sometimes) employees often forget the good that their employers do for them.  Friends are no different.

When there is stress between two people, both sides need to step back and remember all the good that the other has done for them.  With this, they can resolve their issues in a peaceful way.

Have a great Shabbos!

I was once speaking to my rav on the yeshiva’s official stance regarding kollel and work.  He told me that they believe that there is no reason a person should purposely keep himself a card-carrying member of the “Am HaAretz Club” (Ignoramus Club), and that it is encouraged to start off one's marriage in kollel for a few years if possible, before going out into the working world.  By sitting and learning for a few years, hopefully, he can build himself up with knowledge and strengthen himself  to continue even when he’s working full-time.

I often think of that “Am HaAretz Club,” and I often feel that I’m part of it, and still pulling myself out. 

We’ve been learning the halachos of Shabbos over the past year (or has it been two? I can’t remember).  Due to work and family, and a lack of sleep, I cannot get myself into the depths of the halachos as much as I would like, but I’ve certainly been hitting all the basics, from the Gemara and its array of commentators, to the Tur, and his commentators, and the Shulchan Oruch, and his commentators, through the Mishna Bruera and modern day rabbis.  And there are some times when you learn a halacha well, and you realize that all these years, you’ve been hearing the opposite.  Not actually seeing it, but hearing it here and there.  Then, when you finally SEE the halacha and understand its background, you realize . . . “I’m part of the Am Haretz Club!”

Then I think to myself, “I’ve got to keep going, or I’ll have very few excuses after a 120 years!”

Okay . . . on to Torah!

Parshas Balak is a very appropriate parsha to have right before the “Three Weeks” of mourning begins.  Starting Sunday and ending on Tisha B’Av, we begin a period of mourning over the destruction of Yerushaliyim, the Beis HaMikdash, and the 2000-year-old exile.  It is a time that we naturally focus on the negative things that have occurred throughout our long history and, hopefully, give thought to what we can do, as individuals, to help lessen the pain.

However, there is an aspect which is often overlooked, and that is the love that Hashem still has for His nation, despite everything we have suffered.  Many Christians believe that Hashem became so sick of the Jewish people that He simply “changed His mind,” and picked a new nation.

Last week, we dealt with the Jewish people’s complaints for a lack of water.  In the end of this week’s parsha, we see that people fell for the women of Moav.  Yet, what’s the story in between these two negative stories?

Balak hires Bilaam, a non-Jewish prophet, to come and curse the Jewish people.  Bilaam agrees on condition that he will only do and say that which Hashem tells him to do.  He tells Balak to set up sacrifices to Hashem, and afterwards he will go into a meditative trance and see what Hashem has to say.

Rav Pincus, after speaking in detail about sacrifices and their meanings, which I cannot even hope to replicate here, explains that Bilaam was trying to get to the "core" of Hashem, hoping to find a place where Hashem does not truly care for the Jewish people.

For example, when one sees a dead ant outside, he doesn’t have any feelings for it.  There’s no connection between the person and the ant.  If his pet fish dies, maybe he feels a little bad.  A pet dog?  He will certainly feel bad.  That will last for a few weeks or a few months.  But after that, he probably won’t shed any tears.  A good friend?  For sure longer.  A parent or spouse? Most never recover from such a loss.  The deeper the connection there is, the deeper the love.

Bilaam wanted to see if he could get to that place where the connection stops.  He thought the relationship between Hashem and the Jewish nation was like that of a man and his dog.  At some point, the love stops.  And what does Hashem reply in kind?

“I see this nation from the mountain tops, and gaze on it from the heights.  It is a nation dwelling alone at peace, not counting itself among other nations.  Yaakov is like the dust; who can count his hordes?  Who can number the seed of Israel?  Let me die the death of the upright, but let my end be like his. . . .

“God is not human that He should be false, nor mortal that He should change His mind.  Shall He say something and not do it, or speak and not fulfill?  It is a blessing that I have taken, and when there is such a blessing I cannot reverse it. G-d does not look at wrongdoing in Yaakov, and He sees no vice in Israel.  G-d their Lord is with them, and they have the King’s friendship. . . .

“How good are your tens, Yaakov, your tabernacles, Israel.  They stretch out like streams, like gardens by the river; they are like the aloes G-d has planted, like cedars by the water.  His dipper shall overflow, and his crops shall have abundant water”

These are only a few excerpts.

Despite all the pitfalls that befell us before this parsha, and all those after this parsha, Hashem still proclaims his deepest love for the Jewish people.

As we enter this period of mourning, we should keep this in mind.  We have not been put in permanent exile to be punished eternally.  Despite all the terrible physical and spiritual burdens that have accompanied us, we are still being watched over carefully from Above.

Have a wonderful Shabbos and a meaningful fast.

Michael Winner

I saw an interesting question asked this past Shabbos.

We ended up parshas Balak with Pinchas killing Zimri for having relations with a woman from Midian. In parshas Pinchas, we see Hashem rewarding Pinchas for his zealotry. Yet, in Sefer Bereishis, when Shechem forcibly took Yaakov’s daughter Dina, and Shimon and Levi avenged her by killing him and his city, Yaakov grew angry at them and warned them about their "zealous" nature.

What is the difference between the two cases?

According to the Medresh, before killing Zimri, Pinchas asked Moshe for permission to do so, for the halacha states that a zealot, in this case, may do so. With that permission, Pinchas killed Zimri.

In contrast, Shimon and Levi did not asked Yaakov for permission. Rather, they decided on their own to avenge Dina. Even though it was done for the sake of Heaven, Yaakov chastises them for not following "the chain of command."

There is nothing wrong with zealotry. It comes to be problematic, however, when it is used inappropriately or by inappropriate people. That is why it is important to speak to one's mentor before doing anything close to zealotry.

We see this difference, unfortunately, in Yerushaliyim. Sometimes something happens, and a bunch of hooligans call for protests which attract 50-100 people, which causes public and private damage and throws everything off kilter for anybody travelling in the area. However, when protests are called by the acknowledged leaders of the religious world, you can have literally a half million or more people converge over a large section of the city, and the police will stand there idly with nothing to do. I remember attending one such protest, and it was truly an amazing thing to see.

Acting TRULY for the sake of Heaven is commendable. However, from our Medresh, we see it can only be done with the approval of one’s spiritual leader.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

My wife and I were beginning to feel “the burn,” and with the summer coming into full power (both heat-wise and children-wise), we knew we had to do something about it soon, or we wouldn’t have any opportunity until at least after Sukkos. So, we found places for the kids, rented a small car, and took a day-and-a-half vacation driving in the north. We first went to Meron to pick up some healthy snacks, since you can get food with good kashrus there, and then headed north towards Kiryiat Shmoneh, which is very close to the Lebanese border. From there, we headed east and went to the Banyas in the Golan, which contains a small hike around the beginning of the Jordan river (beautiful waterfall, by the way).

From the Banyas, we travelled down the middle of the Upper Galil and returned back to the Golan and went to Katzrin. In Katzrin, they have an archeological museum and a very interesting 15-minute film about the fall of Gamla to the Romans. The “second-half” of the museum was a five-minute car drive away, which contained the remnants of a village they unearthed—complete with a shul. There was also a small film that they recommended we see there. We thought it would be a film similar to the first, something educational. Instead, it was about a story in the Gemara about Rebbe Meir and his rav, Acher. The entire thing was crazy and the whole point of the "story"? We “learn” from the Gemara, that the Ultra-Orthodox need to be more open-minded. It was said without being said, but it was VERY “not said.” Of course, if you actually KNOW the Gemara and a bit of history concerning the story, you’ll understand how they did not fully research it or they would have not been able to come up with such a conclusion. At least the kids weren’t there.

From there, we drove to the eastern side of the Kineret and found a nice place overlooking the sea for a late lunch. From there, we went to Tiveria to stay overnight and actually get a regular night’s sleep. We returned around noon and felt nice and relaxed until 3 minutes after the kids got home.

We agreed that next time we do this, it will be for two days.

Okay, on to Torah!
“And what does Hashem require of you but . . . that you walk modestly” (Haftorah, Micha 6:8)

The Gemara (Makkos 24a) learns from this pasuk that “walk modestly” refers to tending to the dead and escorting a bride to the wedding canopy. This leads us to an interesting question: These mitzvos are public mitzvos, what’s the connection with “walk modestly”?

Rav Schach answers that the modesty in this pasuk refers to the inside. It’s easy to be modest when things are done in a quick manner. But to bring simcha to a bride and groom, for example, while one is in public doing so, he must on the inside be doing it modestly. He shouldn’t be doing it to impress others or to be the center of attention, rather, he should be doing it to fulfill the mitzvah in the proper way.

By tending to the dead, one must also be modest by not just doing the necessary preparations, but to also feel the pain that the family is going through to properly console them.

By working on our sensitivity to others on our insides, we are able to able to “walk modestly” even regarding the most public of mitzvos.

This Shabbos begins the Three Weeks of mourning which ends with Tisha B'Av. But really, it doesn't end there. We are entering a period which really ends on Simchas Torah. We are now entering a "low" stage in our relationship with Hashem, when we are at our "furthest", so to speak. And from Tisha B'Av on, throughout Elul, Rosh HaShanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkos, we slowly build up ourselves and our relationship with Him. By focusing and working on our inner qualities, we will be able to make the best use of such an important period

Have a great Shabbos!


Michael Winner
mwinner@frum.org

I received nachas this week.

Yesterday, my wife overheard a conversation between Rochel Leah, Chaim and two friends of theirs. My kids were telling them how they went into the house of one of our neighbors, who’s a seamstress, since we needed some work done. As they were describing the house, Chaim said, “… and they have this BIG computer on their wall!” To which, Rochel Leah’s friend said, “That’s not a computer! It’s something else.”

“What is it, then?” asked Chaim.

“I forgot what it’s called….”

They hemmed and hawed over it for a few minutes until the friend said,”Oh right! I remember now, it’s called a televizia!”

“Well, what does a televizia do?” asked Chaim.

“I don’t know.”

Okay, how many people here can honestly say that their seven and a half year old daughter does not know what a television is or what it does?

That’s right.

I’m happy.

Too bad they know what a computer is… but, you have to take whatever victories you can get.

Okay, on to Torah!
“For I know that whomever you bless is blessed and whomever you curse, will be cursed” (Bamidbar 22:7)

When Balak asks Balaam to come and curse the Jewish nation, his opening, complementary line is, “For I know that whomever you bless is blessed and whomever you curse, will be cursed”. It’s interesting to note the language. Whoever Balaam blesses, is blessed (past tense), and whoever he curses, will be cursed (future tense). Another question that should be asked about blessings: Why do the Cohanim give the blessings, and not the rabbis and scholars.

I heard in the name of Rav Aharon Volkin from Pinsk an answer to the question that is tied up with this week’s parsha.

When a person gives a bracha, he needs to give it with a full heart for it to take effect. If it’s not, it won’t work. A curse on the other hand, will work even without full “intentions”.

Balaam was known for his “evil eye” and saw everything in the negative. He had no real power of brachah because of this. We see this in Balak’s “compliment”. Whoever you bless, is blessed (past tense)”. He was blessed from before! Balaam had nothing to do with it! He simply added an empty bracha on top of a real one. However, his curses? THAT he has power over.

This comes to answer why a rav of a community or a shul will not give brachos, but rather Cohanim. A rav of a community usually knows the ins and outs of the people of the community. He has to. It’s his job. But, because of that, he is unable to always give brachos according to “the full measure”, since he might feel that certain people are not deserving of it. However, a Cohen? He only gains from people’s success. When a farmer has a field, he must give a certain percentage to his local Cohen. The better the farmer does, the more the Cohen gets. It will then be more natural for the Cohen to give a bracha with a full heart.

So… tonight, when you give your children their Shabbos brachos, make sure you actually mean it!

Have a great Shabbos!

One of the unofficial jobs of being “The American” in the kollel is that you get asked for word translations and to perhaps write something in English for others.

Just this past week, one of the members of the kollel asked me what “gvina” is in English. So, I responded, “cheese”. He then asked if “cheese” is the generic name or is it a name for a specific type of “gvina”. “No,” I said, “It’s a generic name. There’s chedder cheese, swiss cheese, cottage cheese…”

“Wait… Cottage is also in English???”

I stared at him for a good 15 seconds and yelled, “You Israelis are all a bunch of thieves! You take English words, add an Israeli accent to it, and then ask innocently ‘Oh! You ALSO use that word??”

He laughed and then countered that English was a stolen language from French and German. I countered that it was not and it was based off of latin, and obviously was influenced and influenced other languages in Europe. “Don’t forget,” I said, “The Romanim (Romans… remember this was all in Hebrew) got as far as England and, I believe, brought their Latin with them”

“The Romanim?? Are you sure?”

Thinking to myself, “poor guy… brought up in yeshiva all his life… no real education…”

“Yes, the Romanim. The invaded most of Europe.”

“The Romanim?? Really? Are you sure?”

“Yes I’m sure!”

“Oh wait… from Rome?”

“Yessss…”

“OH! You mean the RomaYIM! Of course they did!”

“Wait… then who are the RomaNIM?”

“People from Romania”, he said with an evil grin…

Back to Torah!
“And Balak the son of Tzippor saw all that Yisrael had done to the Emorites… Behold a people has come out of Egypt, behold, they cover the face of the earth” (Bamidbar 22:2-5)

Rav Moshe Swift notes that the world at large tends to acknowledge only the “bad” things that that Jewish people do to others. Balak was a perfect example… here it sounds as if the Egyptians and the Emorites were innocent people who fell prey to the evil Jewish Empire. He never bothered to mention the brutal subjections that Egypt placed on us, nor did he bother to mention what the Emorites did to us. Instead, he focused on the results and made the Jewish people the aggressors.

Anybody who watches the United Nations in action can understand this.

Throughout history and today is no different, the world at large prefers to ignore that attacks on the Jewish nation and focus on the Jewish response. “Yes, missiles and rockets were fired into Israel on a daily basis… by what gives Israel justification for attacking back?”

People believe that if we simply show the truth and show the world how it’s NOT true, that we DON’T control the world, that we were attacked first, etc… than everybody will acknowledge that the Jewish nation had a right to respond. It’s not true. This line of thinking is as old as the Torah, and will not stop, nor will it matter what we counter with. Our only hope is the continued faith in Hashem and adherence to Torah that will protect us from their constant attacks and barbs.

A couple of weeks ago, Rav Eliashuv, age 101, underwent successfully heart surgery. A friend of mine who davens in his minyan told me that only three days later, he was back to his schedule teaching Gemara at his regular (around) 5:00 am time.

Hamodia printed a small interview with the surgeon, who is an American Catholic. He said that he was extremely surprised and impressed on how “with it” Rav Eliashuv was considering his age. He was not expecting detailed questions and understanding of the surgery from some 101 year old man.

We should be so “with it” at that age.

Okay, on to Torah!
“How good are your tents, Yaakov” (Bamidbar 24:5)

Out of the many brachos Bilaam gave to the Jewish people, this is certainly one of the more popular ones.

The Gemara (Sanhedrin 105b) states the word “tents” refers to the shuls and yeshivos. The Seforno (on this pasuk), explains that Bilaam recognized that the occupants of the shuls and yeshivos, not only provide benefit for themselves through their learning and davening, but also provide benefit for the entire nation. In fact, the Gemara (Sanhedrin 99b) states that those who believe that people who learn Torah are only benefiting themselves and fail to realize that they are actually benefiting the whole world, are considered heretics and lose their portion in the World to Come. This is a scary concept, since we see that even Bilaam recognized this fact, while many Jews, even those who consider themselves mitzvah-observant do not.

If Bilaam can recognize the central importance of our shuls and yeshivos in our lives, we have no excuse not to ourselves.

We can strengthen ourselves by acting appropriate in shul, especially during davening. We can stop talking during davening, come on time, dress appropriately, and treat the building with respect. We can continue to encourage people to learn in the shuls and yeshivos, whether full or part-time, and to continue to support yeshivos in whatever way we can.

If Bilaam can understand the centrality of our shuls and yeshivos in ourselves, we certainly can as well.

Have a great Shabbos!

Arutz Sheva had a great interview with a man who was being sent to prison for wanting to send his child to a religious school according to his values. At the time, he and the others were being danced to prison. The interviewer asked, “I see you carrying a sign that says, “I am a Sphardi father”. He replied, “Yes… I’m Yemenite…” then putting on a big smile, “… and I’m being sent to prison for ‘racism’”.

Shortly after I sent my dvar Torah last week, I received a response from somebody in the US telling me that Harry the Worker DOES know more than Torah Leadership, and that everyone on the Internet knows more going on here than we do, thanks to their access to blogs and the Israeli left-wing media, while we merely live here… and see things first hand....

I was accused of being intellectually dishonest about not speaking about all the racism that occurs here in Israel (i.e. the white Ultra-Orthodox against the poor Sphardim). However, he made a wonderful point, bringing up the concept of “Separate but Equal”, accusing the evil Ultra-Orthodox of doing just that, and that Separate but Equal is an evil thing. So… that’s what this week’s Dvar Torah is about.

Separate But Equal: The Torah Supports It.

I bet that line caught your attention.

Before I begin; a few quick points. Before this dvar Torah was sent out, it was reviewed by several people who have been living here for a long time. The group includes Ashkenazim and several Sphardim. They have all lived here longer than I, several for decades, and two people in particular are very involved with the schooling system here. Some parts were even gone over with a rav in the community to make sure loshon horah wasn’t put it. I wanted to make sure that they go over it first to confirm what I’m saying.

The second thing is: Yes. Racism does exist in the religious community and it’s wrong. It’s done, and in Israel there is no shortage of it coming from any one community. I heard of a case of a Syrian Sphardi being disowned by his family for marrying a Moroccan Sphardi (lower class on the Sphardi Scale). I know a Sphardi friend (one of the reviewers of this Dvar Torah) who had his whole culture attacked by an Ashkenazi. I’ve seen Chassidim being made fun of by Sphardim. It happens here as well, no group guiltier than the other. Even Americans get targeted by all groups. People think that Americans automatically fit into a certain category making it harder for Americans to integrate. Racism can also occur with children on the playground, just like anywhere else. It does NOT necessarily mean they get it from the home or school (my daughter guessed Sphardim and Ethiopians were brown-skinned because they ate unhealthy food). Obviously, it’s something that needs to be stamped out by parents and teachers. But one thing needs to be made clear which Americans cannot seem to realize: NO GROUP has a worse record than the other. People mistakenly think that it’s the white Ashkenazim attacking the poor Sphardim. This is simply not true. Racism is just as prevalent the other way, whether from adults or children. Incidentally, I’ve noticed, those who frequently make the charge that Ashkenazi members of the Ultra-Orthodox community make broad generalizations against Sphardim, have no problems whatsoever about making broad generalizations against the Ashkenazi members of the Ultra-Orthodox, especially against the Chassidim. It seems according to them, making broad generalizations is not okay against some, but okay against others.

The third thing is that while Chassidim are technically Ashkenazim, I’m referring them as Chassidim and the general Lithuanian community as Ashkenazim to avoid confusion.

The fourth thing is most important. If you have no ability to rid yourself of cultural bias, you should not continue to read this. Israel is NOT America. Israelis are NOT Americans. Society here is very different than that in America. If you put your cultural values and beliefs on Israeli society, you will have an incorrect view on life here. Those who move here and are unable to integrate, always end up going back.
Ashkenazim here are different than those in America. Sphardim here are different than those in America. Chassidim here are different than those in America. While "the melting pot" and multiculturalism are great in America, they do not exist here. Each group is distinct and has its own flavour. There is no reason that Sphardim should not be proud of their heritage and traditions, Chassidim theirs, and Ashkenazim theirs. While we DO live together and work together, we also understand that "each tribe" has on its own power, and each group is proud of it. “Armchair Israelis” (those who know so much about Israel because they have an internet connection), due to their limited, if any, experiences in Israel, think that just as there are few differences between the three groups in America, it must be the same in Israel. They think that it’s a matter of pronunciation, a few different halachos, a few different traditions, and that’s it. The reality is, in Israel, the differentiation between the groups is much stronger. Again, we must shed our cultural bias aside to fully understand the situation.

Therefore, if you cannot be open-minded enough to put your American values to the side, please don’t continue reading.
“Billam raised his eyes and saw Israel dwelling according to its tribes, and the spirit of G-d was upon him.” (Bamidbar 24:3)

“He saw each and every tribe dwelling unto itself and they were not intermingled” (Rashi)

We see from the above pasuk in this week’s parsha that the Jewish nation lived with each tribe dwelling separately from the others. Everybody was “separate but equal”, with the exception of Shevet Levi, who Hashem made very clear was above the rest. Is this racist? I don’t think so; after all, Hashem set it up that way. Each tribe had its unique elements which contributed to the whole of the nation.

So too with Ashkenazim, Sphardim, and Chassidim. I will only focus on the Israeli “version” of these groups, since here they are not “watered down” by the melting pot of America, and I have more connection to Israeli Jewry than to American Jewry.
In Israel, religious schools are created by ethnicity. Ashkenazim set up their own, Chassidim set up their own, and Sphardim set up their own. Since most of these schools receive little support from the government, each has room to decide who they take in as students. This is not a matter of racism. Each group educates according to their culture and heritage. All parties involved want this system so they can educate their children according to their way (please reread that line with a special emphasis on the first word). If a Sphardi family wants their child to go to a Chassidic school, that means they don’t mind their child learning on a Chassidic track following the rules of that school, whatever they may be. If they do mind, they simply send them to a Sphardi school. There is no issue of forcing somebody to go to a school that they don’t want to go (unless the Supreme Court orders it and threatens you with imprisonment)
According to my “Sphardi Sources”, the problem today is that the Sphardi political leadership has failed to build proper Sphardi schools in terms of quantity or quality. While there are certainly high ranking Sphardi schools, their numbers do not match their growing population. Therefore, many good Sphardim try to get their children into Ashkenazi schools. The Ashkenazi schools will generally accept the Sphardim, but put a limitation on how many Sphardim and Chassidim they accept, and on condition that they follow Ashkenazi rules, simply because it's an Ashkenazi school. In one city that I know if, it's the opposite. There's a very good Sphardi school where Ashkenazim try to get into, but their numbers are limited because it's a Sphardi school out to cater to Sphardim. If Ashkenazim want to join, they need to adhere to the rules and regulations set out by the Sphardi school. If they don’t like the rules… they find another school.

It's that simple. No racism. Just different cultures.

Of course, and Armchair Israelis cannot fathom this, but every group has their “group negatives”. Negative values that, unfortunately, permeate throughout their culture. Americans call this stereotyping and look down on it. Israelis call is “calling a spade a spade” and live with it. This is not a blog with open ‘talkbacks’ and being so, I try to keep this away from loshon horah, so I won’t go into details about who has what issues. However, you should know that each group has issues, and these legitimate issues also play a role in how many of X get into a Y school. You want to call it racism? Ashkenazim, Sphardim, and Chassidim, all call it reality here. While Americans can sometimes get too sensitive to political correctness and stereotyping, the rest of the world doesn’t necessarily have to follow suit.

When the local Sphardi school opened up, they asked the Ashkenazi school to limit (read: discriminate against) the amount of Sphardim they accept, so the Sphardi school can build its numbers. The school chose not to discriminate. So… the Sphardi school has started out nice and small. Why? Because, while there are plenty of Sphardim in the community, this school only wanted kids with families that met certain minimal religious requirements, just like the school in Emmanuel. Since there are not too many, their numbers remain small. They also limited Ashkenazim who can attend. So what happened? This Sphardi school discriminates against their fellow Sphardim and Ashkenazim. Is that racist? No. These Sphardim wanted their children raised in a proper Torah, Sphardi environment.

I asked my Sphardi friend why it is that the Sphardim have so few good yeshivas. He replied that Sphardim as a (political) body have weak community-wide organizational skills (that surprised me), and have a hard time getting things like that together. He told me that it's a big problem which many Sphardim are complaining to their leaders about, and is slowly turning around. In the meantime, however, a few Sphardi politicians have been trying to put the blame on others to cover themselves. Instead of building schools, they are trying to shift everybody’s eyes over to the successful Ashkenazim and Chassidic schools which are growing day by day.

As mentioned, the cultures here are stronger than their counterparts in the US. We have a Sphardi family living on top of us in the building. Wonderful people. Bnei Torah. Good children. Etc... Would anybody suggest a match between our kids and theirs for marriage? Of course not. Why? Do we think we're better than each other? No. We're simply too different. Their lifestyle is different than ours. They way we think and our tracks in life are different than theirs. Our kids could play together and we can share simchas together. We get along perfectly, but our cultural background is so different, that a marriage wouldn't work out so well (of course, there are exceptions). This is not evil Ashkenazi views on Sphardim... why do you think there are so few marriages between Ashkenazim and Chassidim? Different cultures.

When my wife and I were looking to move to a new neighborhood, one idea came up, but we rejected it, because it was predominantly a Sphardi community. Are we racist against Sphardim? Of course not… we simply need to live in a community that has people with a similar cultural mindset as we. Same with another community we looked at. It was Chassidic and we rejected that as well, for the same reason. Thankfully, we found a neighborhood with a nice mix (albeit, I would prefer more Chassidim).
We all have our strengths and weaknesses and we should all be working together to serve Hashem properly. At times we come together as one nation, and at other times, we do things apart, each according to their gifts. There is nothing wrong with this idea. In Eretz Yisroel, this is how religious Sphardim, Chassidim, and Ashkenazim all view the education system. There is certainly no room for the mentality of we’re better than you, but there is room for each tribe to work individually, and at the same time, together, according to their strengths to serve Hashem.

Have a good Shabbos!

I heard a recording of an interesting talk from Rav Shlomo Brevda the other day. In it, he quotes a Gemara (sorry, don’t have the source here), which speaks of a story that took place right before the destruction of Jerusalem.

The story is of a woman whose neighbor’s son died of starvation. Right after the burial, this woman gave over her last loaf of bread to her neighbor and her family as part of the mitzvah of providing for the needs of the bereaved family. Eventually, this woman and her family passed away as well from starvation. At this point, Hashem said to the angel He placed in charge of Jerusalem’s destruction, and told him to “withhold his fury”. The Gemara, says Rav Brevda, doesn’t say stories for fun. If such a story is told, it is because it represented something about that generation.

The chesed that this woman did was not a single event, but was a mere example of other acts of kindness that people were doing at that moment. And it was because of this selfless act and others that the destruction of Jerusalem was not as bad as it could have been, had Hashem not exercised His own compassion. And as we read in Eicha every year, the destruction was horrific. Can you imagine it being any worse? But because people, even when they were in dire straits, helped others, Hashem brought down compassion even in the midst of destruction.

Which brings me to an idea that I had.

As we all know, the economy is in the drain. While I don’t the details of what it’s like in the US, I know what it’s like here. Recently, to help bring in more money (probably to pay for all the investigators they need to investigate government officials), they have raised the VAT to 16.5%. That means anything bought in a store has an additional 16.5% tacked on to the already high price.

Plus, because of the lack of rain we’ve had over the last several years, water prices have quadrupled, if you use over X amount of water. And just to add to that, the extra money is not going to help with water reclamation… it’s going into government coffers.

Yeshivas are closing down everywhere and are behind in payments, due to the lack of finances. And of course, jobs are hard to find, and even if you find one, a lot of that income goes … that’s right… to high taxes.

There are a few people I know who have been hit hard by this. They’re real bnei Torah who do not waste their day in the coffee room. They and their wives have given up a great deal and work hard to keep afloat. And to answer the question, “What does their learning do for me?” Well, the Gemara in Sanhedrin (99b) asks the same question. Rashi explains that those who ask this don’t understand that it is BECAUSE OF THESE PEOPLE, that the world continues to exist as it says (Yermiyahu 33:25): “If My covenant with the night and with the day would not be; had I not set up the laws of heaven and earth, so too would I reject the seed of Yaakov…” The Torah (the laws of heaven and earth) is directly connected with the existence of Yaakov (the Jewish people).

So I thought that I would raise the idea with everybody here to see if anybody is interested in helping those in need here. Again, these are people whom I know personally and are certainly “worth” the investment. They do not get outside help, and if any, it’s very little and not consistent.

I was wondering if people would be interesting in donating a minimum of $50/month for one year, to such a cause. The only overhead would go to PayPal, if you would want to donate through there. Other than that, the money would go directly to those in need. I know two cases where people are taking at least a $300/month hit. To support Torah in Eretz Yisroel, specifically people who would use it properly, would be a great chesed.

Mmmm… Maybe if we can get enough together, I can “hire” such a person to write a weekly column for Frum.org on a specific topic, so everybody would see gains from it… just an idea floating in my head.

Either way, I know given the climate that this would be a long shot, but a person needs to do his part and try to help out, so I put myself out on a limb.

If you have an interest in helping out or have any questions about it, please feel free to email me within the next few days. If we have enough people, I’ll be more than happy to put it together. And of course, at anytime, if anybody wishes to send money to such a cause, please tell me and we can arrange that as well.

If we want Hashem to increase His mercy on us, we too should increase mercy on others, even in times of hardship. One of those ways is to help support those, who, in reality, are really supporting us.

Okay. On to Torah!
"And the Almighty was angry that (Bilaam) went, and an angel of the Almighty stood in the way for an adversary against him" (Bamidbar 22:22)

Rashi explains that this angel stood in Bilaam's way in order to protect Bilaam from bringing harm to himself. We see from here that Hashem was being merciful. However, a few lines later, we see that this same angel had a drawn sword in his hand... not exactly the most merciful thing to be holding.

Rav Zalman Sorotzkin noted that we see that even an angel of mercy needs to take an aggressive stand to accomplish its means.

A parent, for example, who shows no discipline to his or her child, will in the end suffer with a child who has no control over themselves. It's disciple that helps the child understand the rules and norms of society and allows them to grow into a mature adult.

Many times, Hashem gives us different events in our lives to help us become better people. Sometimes, they are easy and smooth, sometimes they are hard and difficult. However, all the time, they are coming from a position of mercy. It's hard to see it, but it's our job to see it, understand it, and try to learn why He sent us this message or test, and ultimately grow from it.

Have a great Shabbos!

They say that stressful times in marriage are going to bring out the true inner being of both spouses.

I learned the true inner being of my wife this past week.

Over the past two weeks, we've been visited by a cat burglar.

Literally.

We're one flight up, and despite netting I put up on the window in the laundry room to keep birds out, this cat has been visiting us in the middle of the night, going through our garbage, hanging out, drinking beer. You know… the usual.

Three nights ago, at 12:40 am, as I was just dozing off, we hear a crash in the kitchen. "The cat!” my wife yells at me. I ran into the kitchen and lo and behold... the cat! I let out a manly yell, chased it into the adjacent laundry room, closed all doors and windows and trapped it in. Somehow, he closed the window behind him, making it impossible to escape. So, he's prowling around, twice showing me his fangs and hissing.

Now you have to understand Israeli cats. They smoke cigarettes, have tattoos, some are missing eyes, and are generally regarded as nothing short of evil. We’re not even talking diet evil. I mean pure evil. They are very rough and any scratch or bite from them will result in a hospital visit because of all the diseases they carry.

So what did my wife yell at me when the cat jumped up on the laundry hanging in there? That's right, "Go in there and get the cat off the laundry!!!"

Here I am in my pajamas, completely unprotected from this fanged creature from below, and my wife wants me to go and fight with it, so the cat won't touch her precious laundry. Basically she was telling me, "It's easier for me to find a new husband to replace you than to redo the laundry. Now go in there and get yourself killed".

Is it just me, or do all women prefer to watch their husbands get torn apart by creatures of doom, so long as their precious laundry is left unsullied?

Oh yes, before we begin, a very special thank you to all those who donated to the Frum.org!

Okay, on to Torah!
"And the donkey saw the angel of the Almighty standing on the road and his sword was drawn in his hand and the donkey turned aside out of the way and went into the field. And Bilaam hit the donkey to run her to the road" (Bamidbar 22 23)

The Midrash comments "This wicked person is going to curse an entire nation which did nothing at all against him, and he hits his donkey to prevent it from going off the road and onto the field"

Rav Zelig Pliskin writes that this teaches us how we can see the errors in other people much clearer than we see those same errors in ourselves.

Here we have Bilaam off to curse the Jewish nation, something which is very clearly not the will of Hashem. On his way, his donkey gives him some trouble, which results in Bilaam letting off some steam at the donkey. Why? Because the donkey wasn't doing the will of Bilaam.

Had Bilaam gone ahead and did a little cheshbon hanefesh, "soul searching", he would have made the connection. Just as the donkey was not doing his will and making his life miserable, so too was he not doing the will of Hashem, as he was supposed to.

Says Rav Pliskin, "Whenever you become irritated at someone else for going against your wishes, use that as a cue to try to find ways that you are going against the Almighty's wishes."

Hashem puts us in many different situations in life and has us interact with many different people. Each situation has its reason for happening. When somebody does something wrong to you, try to think of what he did wrong and see if you are guilty of the same thing vis-a-vis your relationship with Hashem. Use every opportunity that comes your way to grow... even if it's in an annoying opportunity.

Have a great Shabbos!