Pinchas

The Israeli singer, Yishai Ribo, had a concert this past week nearby.  So, as a "thanks" for all her hard work, while her older sister was away, my wife took my second daughter, who's a big fan of his.  When she returned, she said they witnessed two "Only in Israel" moments.

At the entrance, as they were walking in, the man ahead of them had a weapon on him.  For those who didn't know, in normal times, it's nothing new, and certainly during times of war, it's normal to see people carrying short-stocked M-16s, M-4s, and several other types of handguns wherever they go.  As he came to the gate, the security officer said to him, "Listen, if something happens, don't shoot.  We have plenty of security, and the more shooters there are, the harder things get to figure out what's going on."  

Then, in the middle of the concert, Yishai stops and comments on the heat, saying how somebody forgot to bring a towel with them for him to use.  Immediately, a woman shouts outs, "I have baby wipes!"  And he responds, "Really?  Those will help?"  In which a three-minute conversation ensues between them in front of everybody.  In the end, she throws up the pack, and he tries it out, and responds, "Wow!  These are really great! Thanks!"

Sometimes, it's just one giant family.  I think all the more so, when you live outside of the middle of the country, like Tel Aviv and Yerushaliyim (especially Tel Aviv which is it's own country).  It's a much broader mix of people, backgrounds, and cultures, who have learned, for the most part, on how to get along, rather than how to waste their time bickering and fighting.

In this week's parsha, Moshe asks Hashem to appoint his successor to lead the Jewish people into Eretz Yisroel.  Rav Chaim Flom points out that one of the reasons given for Yehoshua to become the next leader was because he never left the beis medresh and when he wasn’t learning, he was setting up and cleaning up.

With this, says Rav Flom, we can learn one of the signs of a good leader: somebody who is willing to take care of the minor details himself.

Many managers believe in "leading from behind."  They stand far away from the "front lines" and tell others what to do.  Others get close up, have an idea on what's going on, and personally get involved in solving problems.

A real leader will care of the details of his charge just as much as the general situation.  Not only will he care about them, he will personally make sure that they are taken care of.

It's not exactly the same comparison, but just recently a friend of mine's daughter became engaged.  I dropped by during the "engagement dinner" that they had to wish a mazel tov, and I spent a few minutes speaking with the former Rosh Kollel.  After a few moments, he turned to me with a smile and said, "You have a daughter around this age, no?"  Not returning the smile, I quickly retorted, "We have time!"

When I returned home, I told my wife what he said, and I realized, "Ah, here's somebody who cares!"  He doesn't know all my children personally, but somehow, he remembered and knew some of their ages and where they are holding in life.  Yes, he didn't DO anything per se, however the fact that he cares enough to remember, made me feel good about our relationship.

THAT is what a leader is.

With that, I wish you all a wonderful Shabbos!

Well, my No-Female Vacation is coming to an end.  On one hand, it will be good to see everybody again, and certainly good to have daughters at home who can help us, compared to their male siblings.  Yet, on the other hand … well … there will be women in the house once again, and I will have to converse with them and listen to their feelings and stories, with all the details, on what EXACTLY happened to them throughout the day (I have  no clue what my sons have been thinking or feeling for the past week and a half, and nor do they care to tell me and nor do I care to hear).

So, I guess I will welcome them with open arms … and an open kitchen and laundry room, which I will be more than happy to turn back over to them (and yes, they will come home to empty laundry baskets and a clean kitchen, I'm not THAT mean/much of a male)

I saw an interesting question poised last week on this week's parsha (here in Israel for the past several months, we've been one parsha ahead of everybody else).  In the end of last week's parsha, there was a "small" problem taking place between some Jewish men and women from Midian.  Pinchus, after seeing one of the leaders of the tribe of Shimon enter his tent with a Midianite woman, took a spear, ran in after them, and killed them immediately.  The secular papers were in panic of such a display of religious extremism and Hashem Himself decided to give Pinchus a "Covenant of Peace," which in turn forced the secular papers to condemn Hashem for His encouragement of more extremism.

There was another case of "extremism" that took place in the Torah as well.  It was when Yaakov's daughter Dina was taken by force by Shchem.  Shimon and Levi came up with a plan to not only save Dina but to exterminate those directly and indirectly responsible.  However, in this case, Yaakov became upset at them for their extremism.

So, what's the difference between Pinchus, who was rewarded, and Shimon and Levi, who were condemned?

The answer lies in Rashi (Bamidbar 25:7).  Right before he took the spear in his hand, he confirmed with Moshe that his actions would be according to halacha.  When responded in the affirmative, he immediately went into action.

That's the difference between a real Zealot and an Extremist.  A Zealot does things according to the law.  He asks before he does.  He puts his full measure into everything he does, but within the framework of the Torah.  An extremist does what he feels is correct, but without asking those who are wiser than he is, if his actions are correct or not.  Perhaps, this is why my Rosh Yeshiva took it as a compliment when people accused him of turning young men into zealots.  He wanted everybody, no matter what station they are in, to put all their energy into their growth, but only via a competent rav.

I'll try to give an example.  In our community there is an email "WhatsApp" for communal events.  My wife gets them, but I have no patience for them.  It turns out there was a woman who moved here, originally from England, who started inviting other women to her celebrations as she was finishing volumes of Gemara.  This is more than a tad weird, since the community, while on the open-minded side, still considers itself to be "Ultra-Orthodox."  My wife did not bother to show it to me, knowing that it would upset me.  However, somebody else brought it to my attention.  He was not happy himself, since this is not normative behavior for this community and he smelled a bigger agenda from this woman.  He wanted me, an English speaker, to help him do something about it.  I told him to leave it alone, since I'm sure most will ignore her and she will eventually fall silent.

I was wrong.

He came back to me a month later, after another one of her postings.  He forwarded me what she wrote and then told me to look her up, because she works with Meretz.

For those not in the know, Meretz is a far-left political party that has two main points: 1) It's pro-Arab, and 2) It's very anti-religious.  And this "frum" woman is an active member of Meretz, going around getting people to vote for them.  We're not talking about closer-to-centrist parties like Likud, Labor, or Blue/White.  We're really talking very anti-religious.  It turns out that this woman came from a liberal, non-religious background, and when she became religious, she forgot to align her internal thinking with that of the Torah.  She is a left-wing extremist who works against the Torah, yet calls herself religious. Yeah, it's weird.

In her email, she attached a link to an Open-Orthodox event that was going to take place in Yerushaliyim.  Now, unlike Israelis and many non-Israelis, I know exactly what Open-Orthodoxy is about and what makes them so dangerous.  So, at this point, I spoke to my rav on what, if anything, I should do.

Now, my rav, by any measure, cannot be labeled an extremist.  He usually takes a very laid-back approach about things.  In fact, I know that when he takes a more stringent stance on something, I need to do the same, since he usually goes lenient when possible.  However, in this case he told me, "You must take her picture and her bio from Meretz and post it up on all the shuls in the area.  She is dangerous."

I couldn't bring myself to do exactly that, since she had kids in school and it's a smaller community.  However, I did write a very direct email about who she is, who Open Orthodoxy is, and while I don't care what people do in their homes, the email list is not the appropriate place for such things to be posted.  My friend took it, wrote it in proper Hebrew, and we emailed it out to this list.

In the end, we received easily 15 emails and phone calls from people, including from the rav of the city, thanking my wife and me (it was her account) for publicizing such information.  Many women thought what she was doing was a "little weird," but some of her neighbors were either curious or felt bad saying "no" to a direct invitation, and now that they have all the information, they know to keep clear of her.

Was this extremism?  No.  I went to a rav.  I did something that I really didn't have any interest in doing, but I knew that if I didn't, who knows what spiritual damage she could have caused.  So, if you want to call it zealotry, you could, but certainly not extremism.

And that's the difference between the two.  I often joke that the only thing I do 100 percent "for Hashem's sake" is drink coffee to stay awake during learning.  I mean, it's true.  I hate coffee.  But, I guess in this case, I did something also "for Hashem's sake."  I did not take any pleasure from it, but I knew it was the right course.  Some would disagree, citing the need for "peace" and all that.  But, as we learned from Pinchus, sometimes sitting around doing nothing not only does NOT bring peace, but it brings destruction.  Sometimes it's the opposite.  Sometimes, only by waging "extremism," can one bring true peace.  But, again, extremism and zealotry are on two different sides of a very thin line and, like Pinchus, one must consult those much wiser than they are to properly know which side is which.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

My wife and I took our yearly road trip this week.  Originally, it was planned for several months ago, however, two days before we were to get the rental car, the entire country closed down.

So, with another lock down looming, we decided "Now or Never."  It was really enjoyable.  We started off doing the hike at the Banyas, a tributary of Mt. Hermon, in the Golan.  After that, we took our time, driving throughout the Galilee, visiting different burial sites of famous personalities throughout history.

At one point we had to drive through an Arab village, which scared me half to death.  Not because it was an Arab village, it's actually known to be friendly to Jews. Rather, it's because Arabs tend to lack this thing called "Urban Planning."  Anybody who has had the experience of driving through an Arab or Druze village can understand what I'm saying.  Their "two-way streets" are mere one-way paths.  There is no concept of "straight."  In fact, when I asked a woman for directions, she started off with "go straight…" and I responded, "which straight?" So, even though I was in a tiny car, I was a bit worried about getting stuck somewhere.

However, I did learn that the IDF needs more Arab pilots.  They might not have the most decorative homes (at least on the outside), but they have very nice cars and are able to fly them within those villages without any issues.


Plus, while we were there, we experience racial profiling to the max.  Everybody we asked knew where we wanted to go and gave us directions, without needed to be asked.


On guy, as we were walking back to our car, stopped his truck and yelled at us: "No, no! It's in the OTHER direction!"


Obviously, we were the only Jews for kilometers :)

All in all, it was a nice break.  I drove over 400 km of northern Israel in two days, davened mincha in a secluded place on a mountain overlooking the valley of the Galilee, spent time with the Mrs. (first time in months without the kids).  Did some hiking.  Said some Tehillim. Went to the beach.  And for the first time since last vacation, we did not bother to care about time.  Ahhhhh…..

"Therefore say: I am giving him My Covenant of Peace" (Bamidbar 25:12).

After Pinchus killed Zimri for Zimri's brazen act in front of the nation, Hashem rewarded Pinchus with His Covenant of Peace.  Being, he was now to be considered a Cohen, like his grandfather, Aaron.  It seems a bit strange.  Here an act of zealous aggression is being rewarded with a Covenant of Peace. 

Rav Naftoli Tzvi Berlin noted that while Pinchos did a zealous act, the act itself could drive a person to become more and more aggressive.  It's human nature.  After all, look at many revolutions throughout history.  Many times, the aggressiveness continues for years after the revolution, claiming numerous innocent lives.  Therefore, Hashem gave him a blessing of peace, that he should continue, even after such an aggressive act, to be a person faithful to a peaceful way.

Any parent, teacher, manager knows that being tough on their children, students, or employees is sometimes a necessity.  Usually, managers don't need to yell, but parents and teachers do.  Being "nice" all the time can sometimes be cruel, while being "cruel," is necessary for the child's growth.

However, the danger of this is that we get used to this mode and rely on it to heavily.  We see that it worked the first time or two, so it's bound to work for any other time.  In a short time, you will end up being nothing but a petty tyrant.

Therefore, it's important that a person should find some way to equalize himself every time he needs to use a more aggressive approach.

Of course, I never have to yell at my children, who are all so ever perfect.  But, in theory, if I do, I have a trick that I would, in theory, use.  Being that every time I've had to yell at a kid, after I send them off to contemplate why I have allowed them to live, I turn around, smile and say to myself, "That was fun!" or something of that nature.  It's vital to try to put yourself in a lighter mood as soon as possible, so you don't go on brooding in a negative way for the rest of your day.  It saves your children and students and it saves yourself from going to places you don't want to go.

With that, I wish you a wonderful Shabbos!

We sent our two daughters to Yerushaliyim yesterday to spend Shabbos with some friends there.  I love the idea of just sending kids on intercity buses without escort—something very Israeli about it. That means it’s going to be a MAN’S Shabbos (with my wife as the woman-in-residence).  It will be full of meat and drink, song and story!!!

That, or most likely, the boys will simply be fighting with each other the whole Shabbos. Sigh…

“Let Hashem, G-d of the spirits of all flesh, appoint a man over the community” (Bamidbar 27:16).

“Moshe prayed, ‘Master of the Universe! You know the mind of each and every one of them and they are not alike.  Appoint over them a leader who will accept each one according to his unique way of thinking’” (Rashi).

When Rav Shach was a rebbe in the yeshiva of Kletzk, the Moshgiach of the yeshiva, Rav Yechezkel Levenstein, would meet with him every morning before davening to discuss each boy in the yeshiva.

Rav Levenstein believed that certain students required a warm relationship with him, while others were better off receiving a rebuke from him and a warmer relationship with Rav Shach.  This is how their students were treated, each one according to his own needs.

Obviously, this does not only apply to teachers, but also, and more importantly, to parents as well.  My wife once heard from a well-known educator that one of the biggest contributions to sibling rivalry is when the parents treat their kids exactly the same.  “Since you got this, so does your brother."  Your sister received a prize from school, so I’ll give you a prize as well."

Years ago, she asked a parent what her key to success was.  They have a large family, small income, and all the kids were amazing.  She was told that she and her husband constantly speak together about each of the children and try their best to anticipate “what’s coming up” in their lives, so whenever that “something” comes up, they will already have an answer set with all their reasoning.  Simply put: They were always prepared for each of their children’s needs.

One of the biggest factors in successfully raising children (so I hear), is to treat each one according to his ways and needs, as if each were an only child.  With that, not only will they receive what THEY need, they will also feel loved as individuals should.

Have a great Shabbos!

Welcome back everybody.

Hopefully, we’re back into business. Given the situation, things have been a bit hectic and busy, but thankfully everything is in relative order and we’re back to a relative schedule. Sort of.

I guess one of the most memorable points over the last month is when the day before the bris, my son asked me, where exactly they do the bris. I replied, “Take a guess.” He thought for a moment, his eyes opened wide, and he said, “Noooooo…. Not THERE!! Can’t they do it on the finger instead????”

Classic reaction.

Okay, on to Torah!
“Take for yourself Yehoshua bin Nun, a man which there is spirit” (Bamidbar 27:18)

Hashem told Moshe, “Your sons sat back and did not study, while Yehoshua served and honored you. He would arrive early to the study hall and remain there late. He would arrange the benches and spread out the mats. Since he served you with all his might, he is worthy of serving Israel.”

It is told that Rav Shach, despite being the Rosh Yeshivah, would be in the yeshivah early to put back the books from the tables onto the shelves where they belonged. Once, somebody asked him why he uses his time in such a manner when there is somebody hired to do so. Rav Shach replied, “Leave me be. If only I was worthy of having such a job!”

On the flip side, I once saw that Rav Chaim Kanievsky wrote that a person who does not return the books he used back to the shelf where it belongs is guilty of “bittel Torah” (wasting time from learning Torah). For when a person fails to return the book, and somebody else needs it, that second person needs to waste time trying to find it!

From these two small pieces, we see the importance of returning books that belong to the shul, yeshivah, or kollel to their place. On one hand, failure to do so will result in a person’s becoming guilty of bittel Torah, yet on the other hand, when a person does so, he is given great reward.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

I received an email from a friend of mine in Jerusalem with a chart on the ranges of Hamas’ weapons. I was relieved to see that we are just outside of their range. So, naturally, I responded with, “PHEW… At least WE’RE safe!” A few hours later, rockets started landing in the north… figures (though I’m sure in general the north is going to be pretty quiet).
This week’s parsha begins where last week’s left off. In response to some very immoral behavior between the women of Midian and the Jewish nation, Pincus takes a spear to one of the tribal leaders involved, and puts an end to it. As a reward, Hashem gives him a “covenant of Peace”. Rav Yaakov Meir Shechter writes that in order to understand how such a terrible thing could happen, you need to look at the beginning of the story, where the Torah writes, “And Israel sat in Shitim, and the people began to commit harlotry with the daughters of Moav” (Numbers 25:1)

The Gemara comments that “Whenever the Torah uses the phrase ‘he sat’ it always signals the beginning of a problem”

What’s wrong with “sitting”? Sitting represents a break from spiritual labor. When a person is working, he is kept busy and out of trouble. When people have too much time on their hands, and waste it away doing nothing constructive, then they turn to other things to keep them occupied.

In the non-Jewish world, the goal is to “pursue happiness.” Interesting to note: It’s to “pursue,” not to actually “reach.” His goal is to work in order to take vacations.

A Ben Torah takes vacations so they will have strength to work. When our goals are to have fun, we end up falling down a very slippery slope. However, when our goals are to work hard on a constant basis, we will naturally have more protection.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

My wife (and I, it turns out) needed to take a “mental health day”. So, for the first time in who knows how many years, we did so. We made after-school arrangements for all the kids (the baby stayed with us) and decided to take a morning trip. Being that most of the north is accessible by car within a 1 hour driving range, we had plenty of options. In the end, I rented a friend’s B-52 bomber (he has a large family, and his van is very old and very … interesting… to drive) and headed to the Lebanese border on the coast of the Mediterranean Sea to a place called Rosh HaNikra.

Rosh HaNikra is literally on the border (don’t get too close to the gate, we got yelled at for that) and is on a cliff overlooking the ocean. There, you can take a 30 second cable-card ride down to the ocean and tour the tunnel that runs underneath the cliff, where the sea flows in.

Afterwards, we drove to the nearby beach for 15 minutes, followed up by lunch in a park in the town of Shelomi. Since, it was only 45 minutes away from home, we took all the time we wanted, and made it back by 2 pm. It was nice to have a morning off, not discussing anything stressful, and FINALLY able to go and drive around and see Eretz Yisroel.

The funny part? I didn’t feel like a tourist. I remember visiting here when I was younger, always wondering what it would be like to actually LIVE here and drive the roads. Now I am. My Hebrew is passable, I know my way around, I feel comfortable dealing with “the locals” and with the terrain, and I don’t stand out in my dress or manners. My wife and I agreed to make it a point to do this three times a year to different places in the north, just to get away from everything and recharge our batteries.

For those who are interested, photos can be downloaded here:

https://www.yousendit.com/download/WFJXcXlvQTZlM1JESjlVag

Okay, on to Torah!
“To Yashuv, the family of Yashuvi” (Bamidbar 26:24)

The Ohr HaChaiyim noted that the tribe of Yissochor (which Yashuv belonged to) was dedicated to Torah study. Therefore, from the family names, you can learn hints into learning Torah.

The word, yishuv, comes from yoshev, to sit. It refers to the need to sit patiently in ones learning and not to rush ahead. One must sit and concentrate and understand what he his learning before moving on. By racing through it, one does not only not understand what he is learning, or at most, he understands on a superficial level, but he will certainly not retain it. By sitting and reviewing over and over again, until the material is clear, one can have a better appreciation for his learning.

I recently learned this lesson personally. Up until a month ago, I was learning in the mornings with a friend of mine. Thank G-d, he has a very good head for learning and gets a good night sleep. I, on the other hand, don’t… on both counts. Therefore, he understands things much quicker and can move on faster than I. However, he had to change his schedule around, since he’s learning how to be a sofer (somebody who writes Torahs, mezuzos, etc…), and needs to morning to do his writing. So, that left me to learn by myself every morning for four hours.

It turned out to be a big brachah. I’m able to now sit, go at a pace that I’m feel comfortable with, and when I have questions or ideas, I can easily walk over to other people and discuss it with them. I believe that I have a much better grasp on my learning and feel much less stressed. We still learn in the afternoons together (it IS important to learn with others), but the time I have to myself is very precious.

Have a great Shabbos!

My wife went to do some shopping in Jerusalem this week. She caught the 7am bus out and made it home by 5pm. It’s the first time she did such a run, thankfully, but there are some things in life you need to get, and you can’t get them here.

One of the first things she noticed when she was there was: “I really don’t miss this place”.

Jerusalem finally completed their light rail, which it’s hailing as a huge success, despite the facts her citizens disagree with that fact. Everything is torn up, traffic is terrible. People are all in a rush. You are in a rush. Etc, etc…

Finally, she gets back up north. There is no traffic. The construction by our house is complete in good time. Nobody’s rushing around. It would make a good scientific study to test people’s blood pressure between those that live in the center of the country and those that live in the north.

Interesting observations.

Anyhow, on to more important things!

“Therefore say: I give unto him My covenant of peace.” (Bamidbar 25:12)

This parsha is probably very difficult for people of the more liberal persuasion to swallow. Here you have a man, publically committing a perverse act, followed by Pinchas ramming a spear through him. Naturally, the press & blogs caught on with headlines “Evil Hareidi Man Slays Innocent Bystander” along with calls to “Draft all Hareidim into the army” and “Cut off the funding for all Hareidi schools, since they’re all like this!”

Yet… no surprise… Hashem says differently. “Make him a Kohen! He’s a man of peace!” says Hashem.

Rav Chaim Brisker explains that Pinchas’ act of zealousness was in reality an act of peace, since it was done for the sake of Heaven. It was his act of pureness that stopped Hashem from punishing the nation for allowing such a thing to happen. Because he saved the nation from a path of destruction, and he reconciled Hashem and His people, he is considered a man of peace.

Rav Chaim Brisker made a comparison between a real zealot and a fake:

The situation can be compared to a case in which one purchases a cat to rid his home of mice. Undoubtedly, the owner of the house and the cat both dislike mice and want them destroyed. There is a difference, however, between the home-owner and the cat: The owner would rather no mouse disturb his home at all, while the cat is pleased to encounter and kill as many mice as he can.

The same idea may be applied to the zealot. He who puts on a show of zealousness is nothing more than a charlatan who always seems to get involved when there is a scandal or conflict in a community. The real zealot, on the other hand, would be satisfied if he had no battles to fight.

Have a great Shabbos!

This past Shabbos, we had a couple of boys over from my former yeshiva for a meal.

Chaim, currently two and a half, is slowly but surely working on his toilet training. Being that, he's wearing his fancy new underwear that my mother-in-law bought. His standard dress code over Shabbos was socks, underwear, and a white button-down shirt (it's Shabbos after all).

In the middle of the meal, he shows up missing his underwear and diaper, simply wearing his shirt and socks.

"Ummm… Chaim?" asks my wife. "Why aren't you wearing any underwear?"

"I'm an Abba!" he replies.

All heads silently and slowly turned in my direction.

"THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!!!"

Needless to say, the story made it back to the yeshiva. The next day, I received two messages from two separate rabbis of mine asking what type of example am I setting for in my children? I could hear them holding back their snickers…

Okay, on to Torah!
In this week's parsha the nation is told that Eretz Yisroel will be divided between the tribes according to a lottery system. Rabbeinu Bachya (Bamidbar 26:56) explains that the dividing of the land via lottery was done in order to make it clear to everybody the hashgachas Hashem (Hashem's "hand") and everybody will recognize that they received their portion directly from Hashem and will not feel jealous towards other people.

Rabbi Areyh Brueckhemier asks, "In general, life is full of events that can lead us to feeling jealous of others, and we must constantly be on guard against this tendency. Whey then did Hashem specifically want Eretz Yisroel to be divided in such a way that would preclude the possibility of one tribe becoming jealous of another?"

He answers that with specific items or events that occur in a person’s life, it's easier for other people to overcome their jealousy. It's a one-time event, nothing TOO exciting. However, Hashem wanted everybody to understand that they were given their particular lot in life by Hashem for a very specific reason that only they can fulfill.

Hashem chooses a person's parents, children, wealth, health, etc...

Our general lot in life has been given to us by Hashem, so we can fulfill whatever mission we were given in this world. There is no need to be jealous of the richer, wiser, or healthier friend. They were given their mission and the tools necessary to complete it, and we were given ours.

Focus on what you have and what you must do, and you'll succeed in the end.

Have a great Shabbos!

I was surprised with the instant response I received from last week's dvar torah. I believe it was a record amount. Surprisingly, it was all positive, since I was expecting some to accuse me of being a hidden racist.

It seems to pay to write about controversial topics. However, I put a lot of energy and time into that one (most of it being after midnight), so I can't write on such a level every week.

I’ll try to have another good one for Parshas Shoftim, which I hope will upset some people. :)

In the meantime, on to Torah!
"These are the children of Dan, cording to their families... sixty four thousand and four hundred" (Bamidbar 26:42,43)

The Chofetz Chaim noted that the total population of Binyamin was 45,600, while Dan's was 64,400. He tells us to take note of each tribe's beginnings. Binyamin himself started off with ten sons, while Dan had only one... and he was deaf (not exactly a good quality back then for a shidduch). Although, Binyamin had a 10 to 1 "lead" over Dan, Dan in the end had nearly 9000 more descendants.

The Chofetz Chaim uses this as a lesson to us. If Hashem wants us to succeed in something, we will succeed. No matter what disadvantages we think we have compared to others, it means nothing in the Almighty's eyes.

My wife and I constantly have pondered this point in our lives. Many couples come here for a year or two... at most five or six, and are supported in their learning. Their wives may work a bit and maybe they do some tutoring, but for the most part, they have many of their needs taken care of. No complaints, of course. If they’re sitting and learning, I think that's amazing and should continue. However, after a time, the money runs down, and they have to move on.

We on the other hand, do not get financial support. Yes, we both work hard to make ends meet, but we're five and a half years and two kids later, and still learning in kollel.

If you asked us in the beginning what are chances would be to continue this life, we would have said that it would be nice, but not very probable. But, thankfully, Hashem believes differently and has kept us going.

Whether we are looking for financial or spiritual success, we must always put aside the "but... he has... and we don't" attitude. That makes no difference. If Hashem desires that you should succeed, you will succeed and be happy with your lot.

The key is to daven and to show Him that you desire to succeed in order to properly grow as a Jew.

Have a great Shabbos!

A lot of people like to call their children "mitzvah boy" or "mitzvah girl" when they do something good.

A friend of mine is very integrated with Israeli society and even married an Israeli whose parents are American.

The other day his son did some mitzvah that he was proud of. So my friend told him that he was a "Yeled Mitzvah" (Mitzvah Boy). His wife gave him this look and explained to him that there is no "Yeled Mitzvah" in Israeli society and that Americans are the only people who use the term. The only "Yeled Mitzvah" that is found in the Israeli lexicon is referring to a child born from Yibum (a marriage between a man and his sister-in-law who did not have any children from her now dead husband).

Just another lesson to be learned. No matter how integrated you are in Israeli society, you're still going to be out of the loop in certain areas.
"To Yashuv the family of Yashivi" (Bamidbar 26 24)

This week’s parsha goes through another census taken of the Jewish nation, tribe by tribe, family by family. While many people find this tedious and boring, those of us with lofty souls are able to see beyond the simple words.

The Ohr HaChaim commented that the tribe of Yisachar (which Yashuvi belonged to), was the tribe that was known for their devotion to the study of Torah.

The word Yishuv (settled), says the Ohr HaChaim, refers to the quality of their learning. They sat and patiently learned the Torah in depth, without rushing and skipping any parts.

The goal of Torah study is to understand what one learns, not to 'gain ground' without truly understanding what one is reading.

My chavrusa and I learn Nefesh HaChaim over Shabbos for an hour. We've been learning the section dealing with the importance of Torah study and it was going through the damage done to the world when a person is no longer 'osek' in Torah.

I found it interesting to note that the author spoke of being 'osek' (heavily involved) with learning. It didn't use the term 'learning'. It used something much heavier. Lots of not so good things come as a result, not just from people not learning Torah, but from soimply not being osek in Torah.

There's nothing wrong with going slow in your learning, as long as you are learning, understanding, and incorporating that understanding in your life.

Have a great Shabbos!