Mattos

We have a, what I thought, was a private joke in the family.  It seems to us that all big news that happens in this war happens on Shabbos, so unless we hear something directly from our neighbors, we have no idea what's going on.  It's more frustrating when it happens in the north, since you hear and see things happening, so you KNOW something is happening, but you have no idea what.

Well, I guess it wasn't just us who noticed this.

After learning how Haniyeh accidentally tripped and fell on an air-to-surface missile, people were flooding social media with their witty comments.  One of the popular ones going around was, "I couldn't believe it!  It wasn't Shabbos morning!"  Another one was, "What? The IDF works during the week?"

So now, like half of the war has been spent, we're going to sit and wait.  We just waited several days to see what Israel would do, now we wait to see what Hezbollah/Iran will do.  That's probably one of the most frustrating parts of this conflict, waiting for something to happen which you know is going to happen.  Heck, even when Iran launched its attack, we knew it was coming and all we could do was wait and see.

So, now begins the waiting game, once again.

"Now the children of Reuven and the children of Gad had a very great multitude of livestock. When they saw the land of Jazer, and the land of Gilead, that behold, the place was a place for livestock" (Bamidbar 32:1).

The Medresh says: "There is a teaching that three gifts were created in the world. If one merits one of them, he has acquired the preciousness of the entire world. If he merits wisdom, he has merited everything. If he merits strength, he has merited everything. If he merits wealth, he has merited everything. This is when these gifts come from Heaven and come through the power of the Torah. But the strength and wealth of flesh and blood are nothing, as Shlomo HaMelech said (Koheles 9:11): 'I again saw under the sun that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor wealth to the discerning, nor favor to the knowledgeable, for time and chance happen to them all.' Likewise you find with the sons of Gad and the sons of Reuven, who were wealthy and had large livestock, and cherished their money and settled outside the land of Israel. Therefore, they were exiled first among all the tribes.  What caused this? Because they separated themselves from their brothers for the sake of their possessions. "

How does one know if the gifts that he has received are from Heaven or not?  After all, Reuven and Gad could argue, "Look!  We conquered this land, it looks great, we have tons of animals we need to care for, so it must be a gift from Hashem." However, the Medresh testified, "Because they separated themselves from their brothers for the sake of their possessions."  It seems that the spiritual needs were secondary compared to their physical needs.

Perhaps it could be argued that when somebody receives these gifts in order to [and he does] use it for spiritual needs, these are gifts from Heaven.  A person who receives wealth and uses it only to grow his wealth is different from a person who receives wealth and uses it to help others. Or perhaps he uses it in order to sit and learn, if he can.  A politician who uses his power to maintain his power is different from a politician who uses his power in order to help others.  There is a rav here, who I cannot stand (since he's my age), who has "wisdom beyond his age," who the entire community respects and relies on, more so than the others who should be in that position (I'm being careful with my words, think what you want).  Why?  Because, when you go to him with a question or for advice, he puts himself in your shoes and works on a solution for you.  He doesn't have other interests in mind.  That is the gift of wisdom from Heaven.

When we use the gifts that we are given in this world as spiritual tools, whether to help ourselves or others, we are making those "gifts from Heaven," and with those, we have merited everything.

Have a wonderful and quiet Shabbos!

Hopefully ours with be quiet.

Recently my son switched yeshivas.  The Rosh Yeshiva from his original yeshiva left to form a smaller one, and now my son has joined him.

The yeshiva is up north, several kilometers from the Lebanese border, and is in the middle of a moshav, which has a lot of nature, and no "city distractions."  It's perfect for him.

A few days after arriving, he saw somebody he thought he recognized, so he went up and asked him, "Are you so-and-so from Tel Aviv's soccer team?"  Of course, the answer was "yes" and they began to talk.  It turns out that this player is one of THE up and coming stars in Israel who was renting a place for the week to relax a bit. When my son asked for his autograph, the player responded, "Of course not!  Why in the world would you want my autograph?  You're sitting and learning Torah all day!  You have something far more important than my autograph!"  He picked up his baseball cap and showed that he was wearing a kippah.  Clearly, he was moving up in the spiritual leagues as well.

That night, after learning, he came to the yeshiva and played some soccer with some of the boys gifting them an official league ball, and then visited them in their yeshiva over Shabbos.  He learned Chumash with them and taught them a few things that they didn't know about the parsha.  He spoke of his life so far, and explained that he tried yeshiva for a month, but couldn't hack it.  However, he continued to strengthen the boys in the yeshiva on the importance of what they are doing; stressing what they are doing is far more important for the Jewish people than what he is doing.

After Shabbos, he sent us pictures of him with my son, and traded phone numbers with some of the boys, telling them to keep in touch.  So, now, my wife has the name and number of one of Israel's "up and coming" in her phone, and he has hers.

This is only a month and a half after learning with Aaron Razel in Meron.  It seems that Hashem enjoys sending my son famous people to learn from, in more ways than one.

In this week's parsha, we witness the death of Aaron HaKohen.  What makes his death different than any others in the Torah is that the day of his death is actually recorded, Rosh Chodesh Av, the first day of the month of Av (which begins this Tuesday night).

The Gemara states (Taanis) that when the month of Av begins, we lessen the amount of simcha in our lives (over the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash and the resulting exile).  Additionally, we know that the main reason for the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash was due to Sinas Chinam, baseless hatred, and the one thing that Aaron HaKohen was known for was bringing peace between his fellow men. Obviously, there is some significance to this connection.

There are two types of people in this world: those like Aaron HaKohen who wish to see peace, and those who thrive on controversy.  What's the difference between the two?  Those who wish to see peace, are thinking about others, making sure that others are okay.  And those who thrive on controversy? They are compared to a child who witnesses a house on fire.  First, you have the "excitement" of the fire and destruction itself.  Following that, the excitement of the arrival of the firefighters, police, and ambulances.  Then, the setting up of positions and equipment, which is followed by the actual fight to extinguish the fire, which finally ends with the victory over the fire.  Any normal adult would be horrified by such an event, knowing fully what it means to those who live in the house.  However, a child, who has no concept of what's really happening, finds the whole thing exciting, and quite frankly, wouldn't mind seeing it himself.

We had the same thing two years ago when some rockets were fired in the north.  All around us, air raid sirens were going off, but not where we were living.  My boys admitted that they felt "left out" of the excitement.

A person who enjoys controversy loves the action, loves being part of things, and yet, has no clue what kind of damage this fire causes.  When he is living in times of peace, he is on the side, nobody pays attention to him. Yet, when there is "a fire," he's in the middle!  He's the fireman!  He's also the little child….

Something to ponder this Rosh Chodesh.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Well, things are finally getting back to order again with the arrival of the wife and children.  Thankfully, they had an enjoyable time, and more thankfully, the baby behaved on the plane.

My daughters were a bit in shock over a few things they saw in America.  One of those things was this concept (unheard of here) called "Customer Service."  They found it very strange to walk into a store with workers actually willing to help you find what you need.  Another thing was the size of everything.  Everything was much larger than what they were used to.  I saw a photo they took of themselves next to huge bags of Doritos (but at least ours are kosher).  They saw green forests, fireflies, deer, rabbits, etc., really, a beautiful country.  They enjoyed their vacation and now they are back, ready to continue with life.

My wife, however, noted something interesting after they returned.  A few of her friends, when hearing about what a nice time they had, seemed … disappointed.  It's as if they were hoping that she would return with tales of materialism and gluttony, compared to the spiritual bliss that naturally comes from living in Eretz Yisroel.  In their conversations, they attacked the United States (and living there) for those things, compared to the spiritual lives that they are gaining here.

My thought was: if they are so happy with their spiritual bliss, why do they seem so disappointed that my wife did not come back complaining?

Fortunately and unfortunately, life in Israel has, over the years, become more and more … comfortable.  We do not have the level of materialism as the United States does, but we are certainly moving in that direction in our own way.  Both in basic necessities and in things we don't really need.  When I got married, for example, for the first five years, we had no air-conditioning.  That was normal.  It was hot and we dealt with it.  We eventually got a unit, because we were living at the edge of the desert, and it was really, really hot.  However, we had only one unit in the main room.  The bedrooms had only fans on stands. Nowadays, it's completely normal to have air-conditioning in one's home, and in most, if not all, rooms.  I'm certainly not going to complain about that.

Our children?  They are given so many prizes and treats by their schools, in some ways I feel that they are being "better" trained for a materialistic lifestyles than I was when I was a child.  While their prizes are not up to American standards, they are not so far off and the "education" they are receiving is only forcing us to up the ante.

Perhaps twenty or thirty years ago, one could say that a person living in Israel was automatically living on a far lower level of materialism and were truly happy with it.  But now?  I don't think such a statement can be said.  I know a few who are like that.  But those are a few.  And even from those few, it's even fewer that their children are like them.  Personally, I can probably live a less materialistic life than I do now, however, I cannot force that on my children.  They compare themselves to their friends, and that's a big driving force on what they feel they need.

So, again, why did these friends sound disappointed?

To me, it did not take long to think of an answer.  In general, when an Israeli hears about somebody's trip to the United States, they ask what you say, what you bought, what you ate, and move on.  It doesn't "hit" them in any way.  But these Americans who moved here? Why the emotional response?

Perhaps, because only by knocking down the other option they had in life, they feel better about the choice they made.  Had they truly felt that they are living on a higher spiritual plane, then, perhaps they wouldn't feel this disappointment.  I don't know, it's just a theory.

I know somebody else, around ten years older than I, who was recently flown in with his wife, to some family simcha in the States.  He moved here when he was younger and several of his siblings still live there.  Some of them are doing very well financially, and he took full advantage of it.  So when he came back, he said, "Yeah, it was nice!  It was like the honeymoon we never had, but, it's really good to be back home."  He enjoyed his trip and he didn't think of the "other option."  Why?  Because, inside, he truly believes that he belongs here.  And while life, on many levels, is still more difficult here, in his mind, those are minor payments he has to make in order to have the privilege to live here.

I believe this is human nature, and something we need to look out for.  When we are either not happy with our situation, we find it difficult, or if we are disappointed in ourselves and what we have made ourselves, we often look at "others" and say, "at least I'm not like that."  An American living in Israel, might think, "Well, at least I don't live in America leading a life of materialism."  A Jew, who deep inside, is not happy with his spiritual progress, might say, "At least I'm not a non-Jew, living a life without meaning," while he lives his Jewish life without meaning.  Somebody who's in kollel, yet not learning well, might say, "At least I'm not wasting my days working," while equally, somebody who is working full-time and is not happy with his lack of learning, might say, "At least I'm not some 'bentch-warmer' in a kollel."

By turning and attacking "the other," we are absolving ourselves to make ourselves greater.  "At least we're not THEM," becomes our default mode.

For some people, the other side of the hill is always greener.  For others, it's always browner.  For a spiritually healthy person, he could care less what it is, because he's happy with his side.

A person, an honest person, does not need to look and compare (and put down) in order to feel good about himself.  An honest person can take note of his pros and cons and make a game plan to improve.  What others do, as long as they don't affect him, have no bearing on his life.

When a person makes a choice in his life, he should do it because he truly believes that this is what's best for him.  Yes, there will always be pros and cons to each decision.  But one should take them and make the best of them, focusing on his own growth.  The spiritually healthy person does not need to constantly put down others in order to [falsely] feel that they are growing.  He simply needs to know "where am I holding and where can I improve," in order to feel that growth.

May we all be able to reach such levels.

With that, I wish you all a wonderful Shabbos! 

My apologies for the past two weeks.  It's been rather busy.  For whatever reason, the summertime is the hardest.  My wife and I are winter people.

 Anyhow … I'm looking for investors for a new idea I have.  I was speaking to a friend of mine who's expecting (a baby) and we were both discussing the sad fact that men have no choice but to actually attend the birth of their children.

 So, I was thinking.  In Netanya, there is a well-known frum hospital, called Laniado.  So, I want to make a hospital for men called Maniado, where men can go and be ... men.  Instead of "waiting rooms" there will be rooms with huge televisions with nothing but sports.  Every man would be given a cigar on entry, not as a "congratulations," but simply because he's a man.  My wife suggested that there be a special room where women would be making Sheva Brachos all day, where the men can walk past and not attend.  Just knowing that they're skipping out on Sheva Brachos will make them happy.  And the only doctors who will be there, will be administrating shots ... of whiskey!

 I mentioned this idea to my rav (we discuss many deep and enlightening things). He responded, "Isn't that called 'a bar'?"

 I than went on to describe the building that will be built to look like IKEA, where a man can go and hunt down male IKEA workers with a paintball gun.

So … any investors out there?

 "Behold! You have risen up in place of your fathers" (Bamidbar 32:14).

 Over the decades, many secular cemeteries have been built for those who are not interested in a Jewish burial.

There was once a case of a man who, in his will, expressed his desire to be buried in such a cemetery.  When his time came, and his family followed through with his wishes, two of his sons, who became frum, came to Rav Eliashuv with a question.  Being that this burial is completely against Jewish law, are they allowed to participate in it and say Kaddish for their father?

 Rav Eliashuv ruled that it was completely forbidden.  Such a burial is considered to be nothing less than a rebellion against the Torah.  "In this case," said Rav Eliashuv, "the mitzvah of respecting one's father requires that the children NOT go to their father's grave."

 A few weeks ago, we saw Pinchus take a spear in his hand, and kill two people who were in rebellion against the Torah.  What did Hashem say?  "I grant him my covenant of peace."

When his grandfather, Aharon HaCohen Gadol, "participated" in the building of the Golden Calf (he was doing so to help stall them from going too far), we see that the Torah wrote him in a very bad light.

 When it comes down mitzvos between man and man, we believe in "meeting in the middle," trying our best to find common ground, where both sides will give up a little, yet come out happy.

However, when dealing with mitzvos between man and Hashem, we do not take that route.  There is no "meeting in the middle." Torah is truth and any deviance from truth is simply false.  That is why Aharon was punished, because his love of man trumped the need to remain steadfast for Torah.  And that is why Pinchus was rewarded, because his desire to remain steadfast for Torah trumped his love of man.

And that is why sometimes, we have rulings like above, which seem on the surface cruel.  But, by remaining faithful to the laws of Torah, it is in reality bring peace to the world.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

When my wife and I took our trip last week, on the way home, we stopped off at our favorite store, to stock up on food for the upcoming Apocalypse (at least we won’t go down hungry).  

While I ran away from my wife, like all good men do, my wife overheard a couple (the husband obviously did not run away in time).  He brought her two jars of something.  She yelled at him, “I wanted THREE jars!" He yelled back, “Look!  You wrote TWO!”  She yelled back, “You should know by know, that when I write TWO, I mean THREE!”

My wife couldn’t stifle her laugh when she heard this and he turned around and said to her, “I’ve known this woman for fifty years, and I still have no idea what she wants from me.”

My wife replied, “I’m sorry, but she is right.”

Poor guy.  Next time, he needs to make a break for it faster.

In this week’s parsha, the Tribes of Gad and Reuven came and requested that their share in Eretz Yisroel be "traded in" for the land in the present-day Golan Heights.  The reason for this was simple, they had a lot of cattle and needed the room, worried that their portion in Eretz Yisroel proper would not be big enough.

Immediately, Moshe sensed that something was up and questioned them to find their motives.  He was worried that they were simply going to back out of the upcoming conquest of the Land, and sit on the sidelines.  The two tribes spoke up and assured Moshe that it was never their intention to do such a thing.  In fact, they would commit the exact same amount of soldiers to the war as any other tribe.  Not only that, but they were going to be the first into battle.

After Moshe’s death, as the army moved itself into the Land, Gad and Reuven were there, just as promised, and did not return to their families until many years later, when the land was finally occupied.

There is something to be learned here which many people in our world have forgotten about.  It’s called “taking responsibility” or “keeping your word."

When a person takes responsibility for something, being a new job, a new child, position in the community, a spouse, a friend, it is now their job to follow through with that responsibility.  As a parent, you have a responsibility to your children.  You are obligated to raise them properly until such time, your "term" ends.  As a teacher, you have a responsibility to your students.  As a Jew, your responsibility is to Hashem.  Other things might sway you this way or that, but in the end, you have an obligation.  

The list goes on and on.

But, what many people don’t understand is responsibility means putting in your full effort.  Doing a half-baked job, is not being responsible.  Yes, there are times that your 100% is low, due to different circumstances, so the end might be half-baked, but the important part is, you still gave it all you've got.

I admit, this is a sore spot for my wife and me.  Sometimes we feel as if we are spending more time doing other people’s jobs, than our own.  People who are being paid to be negligent are having their jobs done for them by others who need it done.

Can you imagine all the pain and suffering that is being accrued on such a person’s account?  All because they are not interested in responsibility?

When we are part of something, we have an obligation to “hold our own” and do our best, so others don’t suffer from our laziness.

That is how you build a strong community and a strong nation.  Each person doing their share as best as they can.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

My daughter decided to get together with some friends for a small “pizza party.”  They went to a particular park that has a small, artificial pond in it, and newly acquired “ducks.”  I assume they are ducks; they are certainly not the ducks we grew up with.  They’re white and red, and larger.  I guess they’re Israeli ducks.

Anyhow, as they sat down and opened the pizza, the ducks immediately left the pond and surrounded the girls.  Then the ravens, sensing the action, came and joined in their siege against the pizza-eating girls.  Of course, they started to freak out, not knowing where to go or what to do, since they were literally surrounded.  Finally, one of the ravens moved, made an opening, and the girls, with pizza in tow, made a break for it.

What I would have paid to see that!

“Cities of refuge they shall be for you, and the murderer who killed someone unintentionally shall flee there”  (Bamidbar 35:11).

The Chidushai HaRim writes that if a Jewish person accidentally killed a person, he will feel a tremendous amount of guilt.  Then Hashem will say, “Go into exile of the refuge city and you will be saved.”  A person who goes to such a city will feel some relief for the guilt he carried.  However, says the Chidushai HaRim, if a person does not carry these feelings with him, and feels that he’s still part of this world, then the city of refuge is not for him.

We see from here that having guilt over a sin committed, even unintentionally, is a sign of a healthy person.  Of course, one cannot have too much of it, but on the other hand, one cannot be immune to such feelings.

I remember a few years ago, our morning minyan was having issues with people showing up on time, making people wait for them and causing it to go longer than it should have.  Unfortunately, many of the guilty parties are people who really should know better. At one point, after davening, I got up and asked that people start coming on time, and that it’s not fair to those who do come on time.  Right after I finished, somebody, one of those who REALLY should know better, came up to me and asked, “Where do you learn that we have to come on time?”  I thought something got lost in translation, so I asked him to repeat what he said, and when I confirmed the . . . utter stupidity . . . of such a question, I told him that there is a Gemara in Brachos that says that when Hashem comes to a minyan and there is no minyan yet, then He gets angry at such a congregation, and to make things even more fun, I showed him some of the commentaries on this Gemara.  He gave me a "thank you," and I’m “happy” say that not only did he NOT change his ways, but his older sons are even worse than he is.

When a person learns a new halacha, or receives legitimate rebuke, or hears a talk about a particular topic in which he can improve, and he doesn’t feel anything, that’s a sign that things are not 100 percent okay with this person.  Had this person said (or kept quiet and let me assume this was the issue), “You know, you’re right, but it’s really hard for me to get up in the morning, no matter how much I try,” then you know you’re dealing with a normal person who is battling his Yetzer Horah.  However, if a person has no feelings, and has no desire to change whatsoever, than “the city of refuge is not for him.”

So, the next time you learn something new about something you were not doing correctly, and you feel some guilt about it . . . be happy!  Unlike many in this world, you’re actually right on track.  Use that guilt to improve yourself, and then quickly throw it in the garbage.  Then you can use your happiness, knowing that you were able to improve in this particular area, to continue.

Have a great Shabbos!

My daughter decided to get together with some friends for a small “pizza party.”  They went to a particular park that has a small, artificial pond in it, and newly acquired “ducks.”  I assume they are ducks; they are certainly not the ducks we grew up with.  They’re white and red, and larger.  I guess they’re Israeli ducks.

Anyhow, as they sat down and opened the pizza, the ducks immediately left the pond and surrounded the girls.  Then the ravens, sensing the action, came and joined in their siege against the pizza-eating girls.  Of course, they started to freak out, not knowing where to go or what to do, since they were literally surrounded.  Finally, one of the ravens moved, made an opening, and the girls, with pizza in tow, made a break for it.

What I would have paid to see that!

“Cities of refuge they shall be for you, and the murderer who killed someone unintentionally shall flee there”  (Bamidbar 35:11).

The Chidushai HaRim writes that if a Jewish person accidentally killed a person, he will feel a tremendous amount of guilt.  Then Hashem will say, “Go into exile of the refuge city and you will be saved.”  A person who goes to such a city will feel some relief for the guilt he carried.  However, says the Chidushai HaRim, if a person does not carry these feelings with him, and feels that he’s still part of this world, then the city of refuge is not for him.

We see from here that having guilt over a sin committed, even unintentionally, is a sign of a healthy person.  Of course, one cannot have too much of it, but on the other hand, one cannot be immune to such feelings.

I remember a few years ago, our morning minyan was having issues with people showing up on time, making people wait for them and causing it to go longer than it should have.  Unfortunately, many of the guilty parties are people who really should know better. At one point, after davening, I got up and asked that people start coming on time, and that it’s not fair to those who do come on time.  Right after I finished, somebody, one of those who REALLY should know better, came up to me and asked, “Where do you learn that we have to come on time?”  I thought something got lost in translation, so I asked him to repeat what he said, and when I confirmed the . . . utter stupidity . . . of such a question, I told him that there is a Gemara in Brachos that says that when Hashem comes to a minyan and there is no minyan yet, then He gets angry at such a congregation, and to make things even more fun, I showed him some of the commentaries on this Gemara.  He gave me a "thank you," and I’m “happy” say that not only did he NOT change his ways, but his older sons are even worse than he is.

When a person learns a new halacha, or receives legitimate rebuke, or hears a talk about a particular topic in which he can improve, and he doesn’t feel anything, that’s a sign that things are not 100 percent okay with this person.  Had this person said (or kept quiet and let me assume this was the issue), “You know, you’re right, but it’s really hard for me to get up in the morning, no matter how much I try,” then you know you’re dealing with a normal person who is battling his Yetzer Horah.  However, if a person has no feelings, and has no desire to change whatsoever, than “the city of refuge is not for him.”

So, the next time you learn something new about something you were not doing correctly, and you feel some guilt about it . . . be happy!  Unlike many in this world, you’re actually right on track.  Use that guilt to improve yourself, and then quickly throw it in the garbage.  Then you can use your happiness, knowing that you were able to improve in this particular area, to continue.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

I was recently updated of the social situation in the States.   I can’t go into details about how I was updated, but let’s just say, I made a comment to somebody in the States about men having a genetic disposition for liking pizza.  Yes, I know, a very risky remark to make in today’s world. Basically, people need to be super-duper careful in how they speak, lest somebody gets offended.  I was warned that even saying the word "man" or "woman" in any joke, or even in conversation, should be avoided, lest somebody gets offended.  After all, you never know if the man you are speaking to feels like a woman, and vice versa.

The next morning, I walked into the Ethiopian-run store, and the owner’s cousin was sitting there, enjoying a drink.  A Moroccan walked in, said something I didn’t catch, and then jokingly said, “What?  You’re ALSO an Ethiopian?  I don’t speak to Ethiopians.”  I cut in and “tried to make peace," explaining that he’s really European, but simply spent too much time out in the sun.  We all got a laugh.  We continued our shopping, he continued his drink, and that was it.

I guess one of the positives of being surrounded by people who want to wipe you off of the face of the earth is that you don’t have time to get "insulted" about every little thing.

Okay, on to Torah!

“And the members of the tribe of Gad and the tribe of Reuven came” (Bamidbar 32:2).

The Sifsai Cohen notes the order of the tribes.  Gad came before Reuven, even though Reuven was the "older" tribe (being Yaakov’s first born).  What’s the reason for the reversal?

He explains that when Reuven was rebuked by Yaakov for being impulsive, he took it to heart in order to rectify it.  So, when it was time for these two tribes to ask permission to keep the Eastern bank of the Jordan as their own land, it wasn’t so much that Gad came first, but rather that Reuven held himself back, in order that he should not act impulsively.

Being impulsive can lead to making mistakes.  Lots of them.  In order to battle this trait, one needs to work on patience.  By holding ourselves back and thinking things through before taking action, we can easily pre-empt a lot of foolish decisions.

Have  a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

With the arrival of the baby, for the first time, we are a “boy family.” I’ve been wondering if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. I happen not to like boys. They're useless, dirty, don’t listen, obnoxious, etc. However, I’ve seen that generally, when they grow older, they’re good to have around (and I’m starting to see that as well). Girls on the other hand are fine when they are young. They are cleaner, they help out, and they will listen to you. Of course, when they get older, they become emotional time-bombs, and remain that way forever. So this is part of the “back and forth” I was having in my head. That ended two days ago, when my wife told me what happened when I was in kollel. It seems there was a fly that was bothering the baby, so somehow, my six-year-old was able to swat it on the floor, where it landed on its back. Of course, he had to finish the job and squish it with his foot. Naturally, he wasn’t wearing any shoes. After “the smoosh,” he picked off the dead fly from his sock, looked at it, and proceeded to chase the girls around the room with it.

There is no longer a question in my mind: boys are better.
There is no longer a question in my mind: boys are better.

Rav Shimshon Pincus writes, “Tisha B’Av is a day of mourning, as reflected in its halachos. Over whom does one mourn? Not over a person who fell sick! Mourning is only over someone who died.

“Let’s try to understand who died, over whom we are mourning. Did Yerushalayim die? Did the Beis HaMikdash die? Certainly not. The Zohar says that Hashem swore He will not enter the heavenly Yerushalayim until the Jewish people enters the earthly Yerushalayim (Zohar, Naso 147b). The heavenly Yerushalayim exists; the Beis HaMikdash exists. It is being held in storage above, where it is waiting, ready to come to us.

“So perhaps we are mourning over the Jewish people? This can’t be either, because the Jewish people survived, and will live forever. And if you say we are mourning over Dovid HaMelech, over the Davidic Kingdom, this, too, is not so. ‘Dovid Melech Yisroel chai v’kayam!’ (Rosh Hashanah 25a).

“So who died? Who are we mourning for? We are forced to say that we are mourning over ourselves. Each person is mourning over his own life that perished!”

What does Rav Pincus mean “over his own life that perished”?

My Rosh Yeshivah, Rav Asher Rubenstein, used to say that after 120 years, we will all go up and they will show us two movies. One movie will be our life as we led it. The second movie will be about what our life COULD have been had we used all our potential that He gave us.

We mourn over Tisha B’Av because we mourn the loss of potential, and the continuous loss of potential that we experience in exile.

To put this into better perspective: Around a year ago, I was having trouble learning a particular halacha in the Shulchan Aruch. The Shulchan Aruch was clear, however, I was having issues with some of the commentaries. I went to a friend to help me out on it, and after pointing me in the right direction, he remarked, “It’s amazing when you think about it. Here we are learning ‘The Shach’ and ‘The Taz’ and other works. For many of them, they lived in times of turmoil and were being chased from one land to another. They experienced many troubles, yet they were able to produce important works that are being learned 400 years later. Yet, we are sitting in an air-conditioned beis medresh in relative comfort, with homes and food on our tables, and we are racking our brains trying to understand them!”

Perhaps by using the next nine days to think about where we are holding in life and what our potential really is, we can better use Tisha B’Av, and more importantly, better ourselves for the future.

Have a great Shabbos!

Over the last week and a half, most of the family’s discussion has revolved around teelim (rockets), kipat barzel (Iron Dome), azakot (air raid sirens), and what to do if we are fired upon.

We make it a point to discuss everything with the kids since they discuss it with their friends anyhow. It is better that they should hear it from us with a proper perspective than from local friends or other children who are here from the south. What makes it a tad difficult is that they know it could and has happened here (our street in the last Lebanon war, before we moved here, was hit several times), so it’s not something that’s happening “over there.”

Baruch Hashem, though, we have been in the small “safe zone” in the northern part of the country. Right outside of Gaza’s reach and so-far nothing from the “pot-shots” further north. Of course, all our friends in the center of the country have spent some time in their safe rooms or bomb shelters, including Frum.org’s official editor in Haifa. I have no doubt though, that by next year, if we don’t hear from Hizbollah, Hamas will have missiles powerful enough to hit us. Hopefully, we won’t have that issue.

We did get one bright spot in proper education last Shabbos. My wife asked the kids what they thought about all the davening that happened on behalf of the kidnapped boys, only to find out that they were murdered. Rochel Leah (age 8) answered, “Those tefillos (prayers) are being used right now to protect us from the rockets. It’s like when you get a present and you save it to use another time, Hashem took our tefillos and used it for something different”.

Note that she’s not in school right now and didn’t hear this from anybody.
In this week’s parsha, the tribe of Reuven and Gad ask permission to settle on the east bank of the Jordan River instead of Eretz Yisroel proper. At that request Moshe became upset and accused them of instilling fear into the rest of the Jewish nation, since perhaps they will think that Reuven and Gad were afraid.

My Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Asher Rubenstein, would yell, “ERETZ YISROEL CANNOT BE CONQUERED BY FEAR! IT CAN ONLY BE CONQUERED BY EMUNAH (faith) IN HASHEM!! A person can lose Eretz Yisroel by living their lives in fear.”

When you look at the current situation, you see living proof of how Hashem is watching over us. How many missiles and rockets have been pouring down on the population centers in Israel over the past week and a half? How many killed? One (one too many, of course, but still…). How many injured? A few; most, if not all, being minor. Is that not proof of Hashem’s hand in things?

In truth, there is NO SAFER PLACE IN THE WORLD FOR A BEN TORAH THAN IN ERETZ YISROEL! Every person has special Divine Providence over him. The closer he grows to Hashem, the more he gains. That goes up exponentially in Eretz Yisroel, “A Land which Hashem your God seeks out; the eyes of Hashem your God are on it constantly, from the beginning of the year till the end of the year.” (Devarim 11:12)

The Gemara (Taanis 10) explains that blessings flow from Heaven into Eretz Yisroel and from there spread out to the rest of the world. THIS is where the most bracha in the world is concentrated! This is where Hashem’s hand is felt most.

The Rosh Kollel was giving a lecture yesterday and took five minutes at the end to discuss the situation. He said that when the rains began to fall in the times of Noach, Hashem gave the people 40 days to repent. Had they repented during any of those forty days, it would have been “gishmei bracha,” rains of blessing. However, since they did not, it turned out to be the opposite. He continued and said that right now we are experiencing “teelim shel bracha” (missiles of blessing), but if we sit back and keep ourselves from doing teshuvah, then G-d forbid….

Rav Shlomo Aviner, one of the prominent national religious rabbis was asked by somebody how they can help Tzahal, the Israeli army, in these dangerous times. He responded, “Repent, Daven, and give Tzedakah. It is already certain, however, that Tzahal will be victorious, but you can help make the process faster and less costly.”

It wasn’t “bake cookies for the soldiers” or “send packages”… it was teshuvah, davening, and charity.

May we all see the end to this war soon, and may everybody who is in a dangerous situation, whether soldier or civilian be kept safe.

Have a great Shabbos.

Michael Winner

*Please note: I’m not advocating people making Aliyah. In fact, most of the time I’m against it, since people move here with kids and have major integration issues.

Over the last week and a half, most of the family’s discussion has revolved around teelim (rockets), kipat barzel (Iron Dome), azakot (air raid sirens), and what to do if we are fired upon.

We make it a point to discuss everything with the kids since they discuss it with their friends anyhow. It is better that they should hear it from us with a proper perspective than from local friends or other children who are here from the south. What makes it a tad difficult is that they know it could and has happened here (our street in the last Lebanon war, before we moved here, was hit several times), so it’s not something that’s happening “over there.”

Baruch Hashem, though, we have been in the small “safe zone” in the northern part of the country. Right outside of Gaza’s reach and so-far nothing from the “pot-shots” further north. Of course, all our friends in the center of the country have spent some time in their safe rooms or bomb shelters, including Frum.org’s official editor in Haifa. I have no doubt though, that by next year, if we don’t hear from Hizbollah, Hamas will have missiles powerful enough to hit us. Hopefully, we won’t have that issue.

We did get one bright spot in proper education last Shabbos. My wife asked the kids what they thought about all the davening that happened on behalf of the kidnapped boys, only to find out that they were murdered. Rochel Leah (age 8) answered, “Those tefillos (prayers) are being used right now to protect us from the rockets. It’s like when you get a present and you save it to use another time, Hashem took our tefillos and used it for something different”.

Note that she’s not in school right now and didn’t hear this from anybody.
In this week’s parsha, the tribe of Reuven and Gad ask permission to settle on the east bank of the Jordan River instead of Eretz Yisroel proper. At that request Moshe became upset and accused them of instilling fear into the rest of the Jewish nation, since perhaps they will think that Reuven and Gad were afraid.

My Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Asher Rubenstein, would yell, “ERETZ YISROEL CANNOT BE CONQUERED BY FEAR! IT CAN ONLY BE CONQUERED BY EMUNAH (faith) IN HASHEM!! A person can lose Eretz Yisroel by living their lives in fear.”

When you look at the current situation, you see living proof of how Hashem is watching over us. How many missiles and rockets have been pouring down on the population centers in Israel over the past week and a half? How many killed? One (one too many, of course, but still…). How many injured? A few; most, if not all, being minor. Is that not proof of Hashem’s hand in things?

In truth, there is NO SAFER PLACE IN THE WORLD FOR A BEN TORAH THAN IN ERETZ YISROEL! Every person has special Divine Providence over him. The closer he grows to Hashem, the more he gains. That goes up exponentially in Eretz Yisroel, “A Land which Hashem your God seeks out; the eyes of Hashem your God are on it constantly, from the beginning of the year till the end of the year.” (Devarim 11:12)

The Gemara (Taanis 10) explains that blessings flow from Heaven into Eretz Yisroel and from there spread out to the rest of the world. THIS is where the most bracha in the world is concentrated! This is where Hashem’s hand is felt most.

The Rosh Kollel was giving a lecture yesterday and took five minutes at the end to discuss the situation. He said that when the rains began to fall in the times of Noach, Hashem gave the people 40 days to repent. Had they repented during any of those forty days, it would have been “gishmei bracha,” rains of blessing. However, since they did not, it turned out to be the opposite. He continued and said that right now we are experiencing “teelim shel bracha” (missiles of blessing), but if we sit back and keep ourselves from doing teshuvah, then G-d forbid….

Rav Shlomo Aviner, one of the prominent national religious rabbis was asked by somebody how they can help Tzahal, the Israeli army, in these dangerous times. He responded, “Repent, Daven, and give Tzedakah. It is already certain, however, that Tzahal will be victorious, but you can help make the process faster and less costly.”

It wasn’t “bake cookies for the soldiers” or “send packages”… it was teshuvah, davening, and charity.

May we all see the end to this war soon, and may everybody who is in a dangerous situation, whether soldier or civilian be kept safe.

Have a great Shabbos.

Michael Winner

*Please note: I’m not advocating people making Aliyah. In fact, most of the time I’m against it, since people move here with kids and have major integration issues.

We’re now beginning to see the results of the new tax hikes (up to 17% taxes on all, including basics, products) and the proposed budget in our daily lives.

One of the heads of the kollel, after receiving severe pay cuts as it, has to leave with no one to replace him. Cuts to kollel members have already been made, with another slash coming in two months. The best story, however, just came up, where the Education Ministry has informed the Beis Yaakov system (religious girls school system) that not only do they have heavy cuts for next year, they also (only in Israel) have RETROACTIVE cuts from the 2012 budget. Meaning, the school system will have to find millions of shekalim to pay “back” the government for last year. The religious sector specifically has been hit, since it’s in the area of religious studies that the cuts hit.

What’s ironic about this is the person behind most of this, Mr. Lapid, ran on a platform demanding two things from the religious world: 1) They had to “up” their standards of secular education (which the Israeli public school system is severely lacking as it is, compared to other first-world countries) and 2) They must “do their part” by serving in the army. It’s interesting that he says this since 1) He himself does not have a high school diploma (he comes from a well connected family) but also 2) When he “did his part” in the army, he was “risking his life” as an army journalist that helped him start off his career.

Sigh.

On to Torah!
“On the one hand, we live in the real world, serving in the military and working; on the other hand, we live in the Torah world.” –Naftali Bennett, current Minister of Religious Affairs

It must be pick on the evil people day here. Probably to get you interested in reading on :)

The Gemara (Berachos 8a-b) discusses the mitzvos of the learning the parsha of the week twice, every week. It states that we must follow this and learn every word, including this week’s parsha which mentions the names of the cities of Sichon and Og (Bamidbar 32:3). Tosfos asks, what is unique about this week’s parsha to be used as an example?

Rabbeinu Bachya explains that the Gemara is stressing the importance of being careful in learning everything properly, even when the Torah is “merely” listing names of non-Jewish cities. Every aspect of the Torah is just as important as the other. If we cannot see the importance in such things, that’s one thing; but we should never discard it.

The Gemara (Bava Metzia 85b) teaches us that at the time of the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash, the prophets and scholars were at loss at what had caused it. Finally, Hashem revealed that it was a result of the nation not learning Torah. The Gemara (via The Bach) explained that the nation didn’t actually stop learning Torah, but they looked at Torah learning to be like any other study in the world, and they approached it as so. They did not appreciate that the Torah is different than other studies and that the Torah is the life we live by.

Mr. Bennett, and many more like him, have this belief that there are two worlds: the Torah and the “Real One”. The truth is, there is only one REAL world, and that’s called TORAH. We live our lives according to the Torah. We work according to the Torah. We serve in the military according to the Torah. We live our lives LIVE according to the Torah. THAT is the major defining difference between the Jewish point of view and the current Minister of Religious Affair’s point of view (more irony, I know).

When we begin to appreciate our Torah learning and apply it to our lives in everyday affairs, we can understand this concept better, and it can help us … weed out… such non-Torah concepts from our lives.

Have a great Shabbos!