Ki Seitzei

I don't know.  Very strange things tend to happen to me when I sleep.

Last year for example, when my wife was making our beds, she found a decapitated cockroach by the foot of the bed.  How one decapitates a cockroach, yet alone at night in his sleep, with his feet, I don't know.

Just the other morning, she saw that my pillow had blood on it.  It seems that in the middle of the night, for some strange reason my ear was bleeding.

I'm starting to get a feeling that I'm being kidnapped by aliens during the five hours of sleep I get. Which would explain why I'm always so very tired.

Alien lifeforms, as we know, are well-documented.  Wookies, for example, we know for a fact lived a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.  Klingons and Romulans we also know from documentaries on the history of the future.  Amazingly, they even know English.  Yet, we have no evidence that Wookies, nor Klingons, nor Romulans kidnap human beings at night and probe them, leaving decapitated cockroaches as some sort of "Thanks for letting us probe you! Here's a gift!" gift.  My theory is that I'm being kidnapped by those aliens that everybody seems to know exist but can't prove exist.  I believe the FBI has some X-Files on them or something, if I remember correctly.

Either way, the good news is, without my wife looking, I picked out my new pillowcase (a first in our marriage, for reasons unknown), and I picked out one of the ones with cars, planes, and trains.  I was hoping, as usual, that it would annoy her.  Instead, she got a good laugh out of it.

Darn.

"When you go forth to battle against your enemies, and Hashem your God delivers them into your hands, and you carry away his captive…" (Devarim 21:10).

Rav Shimshon Pincus said that this pasuk can be taught not only regarding the concept of war in general, but also the war against the Yetzer Horah.  From this pasuk, there are two lessons that can be learned, which are appropriate for this time of year.

The first is that concept of going out to war.  Many start thinking around Elul, what they can do to prepare for Rosh Hashanah.  They think and think and think.  However, by the time Rosh Hashanah comes around, they have not yet entered the battle!  Yes, one of the best ways to win a battle is with sound strategy. However, there are times where there is no time to make such a strategy.  Sometimes, you need to jump in and fight.  One tank commander, on October 7th, made such a decision.  This 21-year-old woman ordered her crew to plug a hole on the border.   There they sat and fought for hours, without strategy, holding off who knows how many terrorists and "innocent civilians accidentally" from entering Israel.  Hundreds of off-duty or retired soldiers, including older generals, hopped into their cars and drove off into battle, under-armed and unprepared.  But they went, and it was because of them, a bigger disaster was averted.  Sometimes you need a plan, sometimes you don't.  The key is to go and fight.

The second idea is based on the interesting language the Torah uses.  Regarding, "and you carry away his captive," it doesn't say "a captive," rather "his captive," being the captive that the Yetzer Horah took from you!  Think about something the Yetzer Horah captured from you that you want back.  A person, for example, might realize that he has been wasting his time in the morning.  Maybe a year ago, it wasn't so bad, but over the past few months, he's been getting distracted with this or that.  So, he can work on this issue.  It's something personal to him that he wants back badly.  Therefore, he will be more likely to put in his 100 percent into this particular battle and see it through until he "saves his captive."

From here we have two ideas to help get us moving before Rosh Hashanah.  Make the fight personal and go out and make the fight.

With that, I wish you all a wonderful Shabbos!

From the 17th of Tammuz until Tisha B'Av, we have the three weeks of mourning, where certain pleasures are limited, such as listening to music.  The closer we get, the more stringent things become, such as bathing, drinking alcohol, eating meat.

I'm convinced that it's not really three weeks of mourning, but rather six weeks of mourning.  Really, from Tisha B'Av until Rosh Chodesh Elul (when the boys, at least, go back to school), when there are no camps or anything for them to do in this non-stop heatwave, is also included as a time of pain and mourning.

So, why, do you ask, are we allowed to drink alcohol and listen to music?  It's simple: It's a special allowance.  Because without alcohol, meat, and music, all the parents will go crazy and eat their young.

That's my theory at least.

"If a man has a wayward and defiant son, who does not heed his father or mother and does not obey them even after they discipline him…" (Devarim 21: 18).

In this week's parsha, we tackle the issue of Ben Sorer U'Morer, a "defiant son."  If this child meets the nearly-impossible criteria to be called a Ben Sorer U'Morer, he is to be put to death.  Rashi, quoting the Gemara, explains that it's better that he should die with merit than to die with sin.

Before this Rashi, we would have thought that a Ben Sorer U'Morer committed tons of sin and is practically an unrepentant sinner.  Yet, from Rashi's comment, "he should die with merit," we see that at that time, the son isn't the evil person that we would have thought.  He did not YET commit all the serious crimes we would have thought he did.  Yes, in the end, if he were to continue on his path, he will, but at this point in his life, he has not.

So, why are we killing him?  Why are we so convinced that he will grow up as an unrepentant sinner?

When looking at some of the requirements to be called a Ben Sorer U'Morer, we see that they are based on "living in the moment," doing what he wants and going after one's base desires.  He steals meat and drink, he keeps company with wicked people, he refuses to listen to his parents, etc. We would have expected somebody who kills little furry animals for fun, somebody who tortures others, etc., but here we have somebody who's simply living life according to his whims.

The life he is chasing is not that of a criminal, but that of a person who simply wants to chase after life's pleasures without restraint.  We're not worried about his harming others, we're worried about his harming himself.

"Back in the day…," like before 50-70 years ago or so, life for most of the world was not like today.  It was one of survival and making sure you have food on your plate.  Now? Most people don't have to worry about that.  They have what they need to survive.  They simply need something fun to do with their free time.

And what affects the world, affects the Jewish nation.

This past Shabbos we had a cantaloupe at the table for dessert.  Needless to say, it was a very good one.  Juicy and sweet.  Then, one of my children produced a small bag of gummy rings to share with everybody.  Of course, all the kids took, ate their gummy ring, and continued with the cantaloupe.  To nobody's surprise, but their own, the cantaloupe didn't taste sweet at all!

This is what happens spiritually as well.  We have mitzvos and we have Torah.  It is the nature of both to be sweet.  And for those who know others on higher spiritual levels, you can SEE that they are meant to be sweet.  Yet, for most of us, they are not.  They are bitter and difficult "to chew."  Why is that?  Because there are other sweet things out there, covered with sugar, that we chase after.  And like the Ben Sorer U'Morer, we're not discussing things that are forbidden.  We are discussing things that we are allowed to have.  Yet, if we misuse those things, or our lives are driven by those things, we shouldn't be surprised that things that are naturally sweet, no longer taste sweet.  The issue isn't with the cantaloupe, it's with the gummy rings.

We have the next month-and-a-half to try out a new spiritual diet.  To try to knock off, or at least limit, those sugar-coated sweets in our life that we don't really need.  Hopefully, our spiritual taste buds will return to normal, and we will be able to taste the natural sweetness of life with Hashem.

With that, I wish you all a wonderful Shabbos!

My wife came to me yesterday:

Wife: "I miss our son"

Me: "Both of them are playing in the other room, you can go see them at any time"

Wife: "Not them!  The one in yeshiva!  It will be two or three weeks until we see him again!"

(Silence)

Me: "We have a son in yeshiva?"

My belief regarding children is: When they're out of the house, they're out of my mind.

Most educators will tell you that it's a terrible and dangerous mentality to have, but I'm a man, so there's little to do to change it.

---

Two interesting occurrences happened to me this week, which tie into this week's parsha.

The first was not so positive.  We received a call from a parent whose seventh grader, along with others, was kicked out of class for a nice amount of time.  Making matters worse, his father is constantly in the hospital for treatments.

Unfortunately, this particular teacher is well known in the community, and anybody who has had a child go through seventh and eighth grade (he's the afternoon teacher in eighth grade) knows that this person does not belong in any teaching position whatsoever.  Every year he targets around a third of the class for punishment, and the others are not getting off easy themselves.  Unfortunately, those who have the power to make changes refuse to do so, and each and every year, children and their parents suffer.  We received a call, because the parents wanted to know what happened with our child and how we handled it.  I was so disturbed by the phone call, even though I learned nothing new from it and it had no effect on my children, I just sat in the kollel that afternoon, barely able to learn.

The second was more positive and more interesting.  I was taking a side journey one morning looking up something concerning giving ma'aser (10 percent of one's income to tzedakah).  I ran into something which I thought was interesting, and I went to speak to a certain rav about it.  In the discussion, he mentioned that one can use his ma'aser money, not for the education of his children, but for any trips that they take in school.  This was a bit of news to me, so I asked him why.  He explained that there is no obligation to pay for the trips (if you don't want to pay, you don't go, but you don't have to pay), and since it is for the "spiritual/mental health" of the child, it's considered to be a mitzvah which one can use his ma'aser money for.  So, I pushed a bit further.  My neighbor runs classes in his home every afternoon to teach woodworking and electricity to the children of the community.  If somebody had one ADHD child and a non-ADHD child, he could use his ma'aser money to pay for the ADHD child, but not for the non-ADHD child?  He replied in the affirmative.

Good to know!

So, what's the connection between the two?

"If your fellow Israelite does not live near you or you do not know who [the owner] is, you shall bring it home and it shall remain with you until your peer claims it; then you shall give it back. You shall do the same with that person’s donkey; you shall do the same with that person’s garment; and so too shall you do with anything that your fellow Israelite loses and you find: you must not remain indifferent" (Devarim 22:2-3).

The Gemara in Sanhedrin (73a) learns that these psukim are not only talking about monetary things, but also your neighbors' physical well-being as well.  So, if one sees his neighbor having a heart attack, for example, when he calls an ambulance and helps him, the mitzvah he did stems from these psukim.

If there is a mitzvah to "give it back" regarding a lost item or a person's body, then for sure, one has an obligation to watch over a person's mental and spiritual well-being.  And even if one cannot do anything about it, the pasuk tells us "you must not remain indifferent."

Perhaps this is the basis for the halacha I recently learned regarding how to give ma'aser.  A child's spiritual and mental well-being is called a mitzvah, and one must do what he can to care for their children in this aspect, including using his tzedakah money.

And in cases with the teacher and the children who suffer from him?  In this particular case, there is really nothing to be done.  Those in charge have closed their eyes and ears.  However, there is still the commandment "you must not remain indifferent."  Perhaps this can be fulfilled by giving the parents or children words of encouragement.  Undoubtedly, one can fulfill it by davening for the children and asking Hashem to change the situation.  And I'm sure just by feeling the pain that they are going through, you are fulfilling such a commandment.

My friend told me a story he recently read.

Somebody went to Rav Chaim Kanievsky in Bnei Brak with an important question, regarding his yeshiva.  He explained to the Rav that it was a yeshiva in Beit Shemesh.  The Rav stopped him and asked, “Which Beit Shemesh?  Is it in Chutz L’Aretz (outside of Israel)?”  A bit confused by the question, this person answered, “The one near Yerushaliyim . . .”  After the Rav nodded his head, the person then asked his question, received his answer, and left.

However, he was bothered by what happened.  Rav Kanievsky is regarded as one of the biggest Talmidei Chochomim we have.  He receives questions from all over the world.  How is it possible that he did not know where Beit Shemesh is?  Everybody who lives in Israel knows where it is!

He was bothered by it so much, that he wrote Rav Kanievsky a letter asking him how he didn’t know where Beit Shemesh was.  He received a reply, that in Yermiyahu (Jerimiah), there is mention of a Beit Shemesh in Egypt.

Simply put: Rav Kanievsky was making a joke, and this person didn’t have the knowledge to “get it.” J

“He does not hearken to our voice” (Devarim 21:20).

The Gemara (Sanhedrin 71a) teaches that if one of the parents of a ben sorer u’moreh (a rebellious son, who is so bad, he can be tried and executed), is deaf, the child cannot be found guilty and killed.

Yet, this is in contradiction to the pasuk above.  The pasuk is speaking about the child being “deaf,” yet the Gemara is speaking of one (or both) of the parents' being deaf!

Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein writes that when a person reprimands someone else, his words can have an effect only if he hears what his mouth is saying . . . or simply put: he practices what he preaches.  However, if the parent is “deaf” and doesn’t hear his own words, then there is no question, that there is a greater chance that his son will eventually become “deaf” as well.

As a proof, Rav Zilberstein brings in a pasuk that explains what happens after such an execution should take place, “And you shall remove the evil from your midst; and all Israel shall hear and they shall fear.”  Once you “remove evil from your midst,” being yourself, then others “shall hear and they shall fear,” and follow your words of reproof.

Given that we don’t live in the center of the country, most boys go to yeshiva, shortly after their bar mitzvah, out of town.  My wife and I were once discussing this and she asked me if I see differences in them from before they left and when they come back during their breaks.  I gave it thought and I kept my eyes open.  I realized that most of the boys, even if they are learning really well in eighth grade, two years later, tend to follow their father’s footsteps.  Those fathers who are strong in growth tend to have sons who are like them.  Those who are the opposite . . . well . . . it’s unfortunate.  I know of a family who’s full of very intelligent boys.  All like their father.  They can learn very well and really have their heads on their shoulders.  However, the father spends a lot of time out of the shul, when he’s supposed to be in.  And the children seem to follow that pattern eventually.

The first step in raising children as Bnei Torah, is to try your best to be one yourself.  If you tell them to grow in Torah and Mitzvos, when you are not, you can’t even leave the first level of proper parenting.

With that in mind, may we all be successful with ourselves, so we can be successful with our children.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

Does anybody remember “The Blues Brothers”? Remember how at the end of the film they were surrounded by thousands of officers from every branch of federal, state, and local law enforcement (don’t forget the Illinois Nazi Party)? That’s what the street next to ours looked like this past Shabbos.

We are friends with a couple who many say are special, but we say are crazy. Besides their own children, they are fostering two children who are . . . well, if I say “mentally challenged,” that would be nice (it’s a family custom, it seems, to take in these children; she also is trained in working with them). One of them is a seven-year-old severerly autistic and brain-damaged boy. Honestly, he’s a cute kid, but has no "seichel" whatsoever. This past Shabbos, the husband had to be out of town with this two oldest children, so she was left alone with her other children and these two foster children. One of her children went to their neighbor's, and despite the door being super heavy, this seven-year-old, who has incredible strength, opened it and flew out. She heard this happening and went to chase after him, but he quickly disappeared.

This was at 1 p.m. Shabbos day. People in the religious community started hearing of what happened a few hours later (she didn’t make it so public at first, since she thought she would easily find him). By the time it became public, the police became more and more heavily involved and practically everybody with a kippah on their head, from all streams, were combing the city. The rav came out and announced that even if you have to break Shabbos, you must in order to find the child. Hundreds of the religious community were out, along with a helicopter and drone (the kids loved those). Even the Border Police stationed outside of the city got involved. I got the idea of flagging down a few cabs from different companies so they could call other cabs so they should keep their eyes open. You should have seen the look on the drivers faces when I, dressed in my Shabbos clothes, was telling them to pull over. :)

In the end, 30 minutes before sunset, somebody from the community found him, half naked a kilometer-and-a-half away from his home. One of the officers kept saying to the mother, “You have an amazing community here. Amazing! They all came out, got organized, and helped out!” The police recognized that they didn’t have the manpower to do it themselves, and there was close work between us. My son, when we were looking together, received a few waves from officers passing by in their cars, and even several secular residents helped to get involved when they felt the "power" of the community at work.

If this happened to somebody secular, the police would have gotten involved, a few friends would have posted the photo on Facebook and help out with the search. But nothing would have occurred that matched this. Here, HUNDREDS of people were searching, and wives were bringing out bottles of water and snacks to help out. Most did not daven mincha at all or eat the third meal for Shabbos. In the end, it was a very big kiddush Hashem with a happy ending.

Except for one man. The head of the local Hatzolah. He was away that particular Shabbos and was VERY upset that they had to lose this child on that particular Shabbos when he was away. For him, it’s a dream come true to help organize and run such an operation and he missed out! :)
Every year, I usually receive a small dose of help from Above on something. Last year, I wasted it on correctly guessing how far along my wife was in labor when we arrived at the hospital. This year, thankfully, I received it when I was learning. So, this is an original dvar Torah. True or not? I have no idea. It sounds good and even if it’s not true, it’s not one of those “Oh! According to my calculations, there are really EIGHT AND A HALF gods!” so you won’t really be burning for reading it.

The Gemara (Shabbos 23b), asks, if one has enough money for only a candle for Chanukah or only a candle for Shabbos, what should he buy? It then answers a candle for Shabbos, because of Shalom Bayis (peace in the home). It then asks, if he had only for Kiddush or candles? Again, Shabbos candles, because of Shalom Bayis. Then, it continues and says that somebody who lights candles (Shabbos or Chanukah) regularly, will merit children who are Talmidei Chachamim (scholars).

I was confused by this, since many light candles regularly and do no merit children who are Talmidei Chachamim. So, I gave thought to it and have a small theory, which I would like to share.

We see that the Gemara clearly equates Shabbos candles to Shalom Bayis. There are many different reasons for it, the main one given is that there is light in the house on Shabbos, and confusion does not reign free. For whatever reason, when we say Shabbos candles, we are also saying Shalom Bayis.

PERHAPS, the Gemara is saying that somebody who regularly has Shalom Bayis, will merit Talmidei Chachamim. Of course, this is not the only ingredient and there are many different factors, but it is acknowledged that many times when children leave the religious world, there are issues at home (again, not all the time, and possibly not most; I don’t know, but Shalom Bayis does contribute to such things).

I then saw that the Bach (Orach Chaim 263:1) asks on this Gemara: it seems that from this Gemara, that lighting candles is not obligatory and the reward is children who are Talmidei Chachamim. However, we see further on, that it is really an obligation to light. So, if it’s an obligation, why did this Gemara word the promise in such a way as if it were not obligatory? He answers that if a person lit Shabbos candles, he did his (or really her) obligation. But, if they do it in a proper, “mehudar” (extra careful) way, they will earn this promise.

As a side note, my Rosh Kollel asked when I showed him this, “What does it mean ‘mehudar’ when lighting Shabbos candles? Okay, using olive oil instead of wax candles, perhaps, but what else is there to be ‘mehudar’ about? " This question only adds fuel to my theory, that perhaps we not talking about only lighting candles.

So, let’s rephrase what the Bach was saying with my idea: If a person does the mitzvah of Shalom Bayis (by lighting the candles), he did his (or really her) obligation. But, if they do it (Shalom Bayis) in a proper “mehudar” way, they will earn this promise.

It’s hard work to have Shalom Bayis, but to do it in a mehudar way? That takes even more work, effort, and teamwork; but perhaps, when the children see and feel the atmosphere of love and respect between their parents, they will be empowered in their Torah observance.

Just an idea.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Michael Winner

Finally, things are starting to cool down around here.

For the past month or so, we’ve had nothing but 90+ degree weather. In fact, on one particular day, it hit 104 in the shade and over 120 in the sun (the thermometer did not go higher than that). Finally, we’re at a nice comfortable 87 degrees, and I for one, am looking forward to a nice, cool, and rainy winter.
The Rambam, when describing the Jewish soldier, writes, “’Which man is afraid or fainthearted (he should turn away)’ (Devarim 20:8) – this is to be understood literally. It refers to a person who doesn’t have the strength of heart to stand in the thick of battle. But once a person enters the thick of battle, he should rely on the One Who is the Hope and Savior of Israel in times of trouble; and he should know that he is going into battle over Hashem’s Oneness.

“He should place his life in His hands and not fear or be scared. He should not think of his wife or his children, but should wipe their memory from his heart. He should turn away from all matters and focus on the battle.

“One who starts to think about things in battle and makes himself afraid transgresses a negative commandment . . . Furthermore he will be responsible for all the blood of the Jewish people . . .”

During the war in Gaza last year, the commander of the Golani Brigade was wounded by shrapnel all over his face from a rocket attack. He was taken to the hospital, and of course, against doctors orders and protests, left the hospital to resume command before he could heal. He declared that if he had a bus, he would have taken more soldiers with him who wanted to join him back at the front. So, within a few days of being wounded, the colonel was back in action, shaved head, wounded face, looking vicious, leading his troops into danger once again.

During the months of Elul and Tishrei, we are in a midst of a vicious battle. The “D-Day” of the year, if you will. Not only our personal future, but the future of the entire Jewish nation, is at risk. If we break down, we can lose everything. If we strengthen our resolve to fight, we can be victorious and help bring the nation to victory.

We have now completed the first two weeks of Elul, and two more remain. We shouldn’t sit back and say, “Well, I wasted the first two weeks, what good is everything else going to be?”. Rather we should sit and figure out our own “order of battle” that we can do to prepare for Rosh HaShanah. By putting all distractions to the side and making a plan to really change, we can successfully swing the battle in our favor.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael winner

It’s all very exciting. Starting Rosh HaShanah, the Shmittah year begins (our second round through). Simply put: Every seven years, farmers in Eretz Yisroel are commanded to stop working the fields. Any produce that comes from those fields, has kedusha (holiness) to it, cannot be sold or traded, and must be treated as if you were treating a siddur. There are many laws concerning Shmittah that one needs to learn and understand, because for the next year and a half (Shmittah fruit is widely available after Shmittah ends), one's “eating life” will be turned upside down.

For Bnei Torah living in Yerushaliyim, Bnei Brak, or other major frum centers, produce is available throughout the year. One needs to note where it came from, such as outside of Eretz Yisroel (the food has no kedusha), if it’s from the previous year (no kedusha), if it’s from Otzer Beis Din (where a Jewish court takes over a field and distributes the food (at cost to deliver it, and which definitely has kedusha), if it’s Arab produce (big argument dating back several hundred years, some hold it does have kedusha, some say no . . . whatever you want to do . . . our family holds "yes"), or if it was grown, farmed, and traded against halacha by Jews on a Jewish-owned field, in which case could possibly make your kitchen not-kosher.

On top of that, any fruits or vegetables that have kedusha, or any food that has been cooked with such fruits and vegetables, must not be thrown in the garbage or on the floor, etc., until they lose that kedusha (i.e. they begin to spoil). Nor can it be sent outside of Eretz Yisroel (since it’s degrading the fruit). So, it’s a whole change in food lifestyle for the next 18 months or so.

This year will probably be more complicated, given that none of the stores have a reliable kashrus certificate concerning fruits and vegetables. I believe we’ll be able to buy fruits from them up until Purim time, but vegetables, not. From what I understand, the entire frum community will be able to order once a week their vegetable supply from outside sources. Unfortunately, this system is in place now (since they have much better prices), but the quality of the vegetables has what to be desired (hence, why buy from them if they are going to spoil in three days?).

Well . . . we’ll have to see. I’m looking forward to it!
In the Musaf prayer for Rosh Hashanah, we conclude with the blessing, “Baruch Attah Hashem, zocher habris.” We ask that Hashem should remember the bris (covenant) between Him and the Jewish nation, and that this remembrance should save us from judgment.

Rav Shimshon Pincus asks, “What is the meaning of bris?” And quotes the Sefer Yetzirah to answer:

“Stop your mouth from speaking and your heart from thinking. And if your mouth runs to speak, and your heart to think, return to Hashem. About this . . . a bris was established.”

The Vilna Gaon defines a bris as follows. If a person has a friend whom he loves very clearly, and he wishes never to part from this friend for eternity, he makes a covenant with him. How? He takes from himself the thing that is most precious to him, and gives it to his friend. In this way, he is guaranteed never to forget about this friend.

The Torah (Shemos 34:27) writes, “According to these words, I made you a bris.”

Hashem wished to strengthen the relationship with us, so he gave us something precious to Him – the Torah. By maintaining the Torah, we are maintaining and guarding something precious to Hashem and therefore maintaining this bris. How do we properly keep the Torah? “Stop your mouth from speaking and your heart from thinking . . .”

When we take our thoughts and speech, two things that are very precious to us, and we dedicate them to Hashem, we are giving over OUR precious objects for Hashem’s keeping.

May we merit to use this month before Rosh HaShanah properly!

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

This past week, two friends and I went out for a few hours in the middle of the night to catch the annual Persiod Meteor Shower. Our group consisted of the Astronomer (me), the snotty-yet-extremely-bright Englishman, and the obnoxious-yet-extremely-bright Israeli, whose parents are American and owns a car.

I started work early to get in my ‘quota’ and we left around 11pm. Our first stop was further up north, right outside an Arab (Christian) village. At that point, the Englishman started to get worried about this whole ‘not wanting to die’ business. We were fine, since we understood that there is a difference between Christian and Moslem Arabs, and he was simply being a wimpy Englishman. We finally came to an open field away from the lights and took out our maps and blankets. After a bit, the Englishmen said, “I think I hear something in the field…”

“Nonesense!” cried the Israeli, “You chutznakim (those who were born outside of Israel) are afraid of every little sound… it’s just the electricity from those wires”

After a while, the Englishman repeated his warning, and the Israeli repeated his insults. I listened carefully and also heard the sound. As the Israeli was railing into us for our “wimpyness”, I threw a rock into the brush where the sound was coming from. I was rewarded with a loud: SNNNNOOOORRRRT!

We all went quite.

We pulled out a flashlight and saw the eye of a wild-boar staring at us, to which the Israeli said, “Okay everybody… into the car… QUICKLY!”

We, thankfully, found another place not so far way, enjoyed a nice night out without wives, and returned at 3 am. I began my day two and-a-half hours later. With only a twenty minute nap in kollel, I surprisingly had a good day in learning.

Lesson learned: stay away from wild-boars. Even if you’re Israeli.
“A perfect and honest measure shall you have, so that your days shall be lengthened on the land that Hashem, your G-d, gives you… Remember what Amalek did to you on the way when you were leaving Egypt…” (Devarim 25:15-17)

Rashi explains why the warning to have honest weights (read: business ethics) and the reminder of Amalek’s attack on us, are right next to each other: “If you were untruthful about measures and about weights, be worried about provocation by the enemy”.

Simply put: if you cheat in business, you will suffer.

So, I scratched my chin and asked, “But why AMALEK?” The Torah has so many fun ways to punish us, why specifically is Amalek chosen as the punishment for poor business ethics?

If I made be so bold, I would like to suggest the following. The core of Amalek is ‘doubt’. Their main weapon is to sow seeds of doubt concerning our relationship with Hashem, into our souls. When we cheat in business, we are showing a lack of trust in Hashem. After all, the whole ‘reason’ for cheating is because Hashem obviously cannot provide for me, and therefore, I need to make it up myself somehow. It’s due to our lack of trust in Hashem, that we are punished with Amalek which personifies that particular trait.

With this lesson in mind, we should always do our best to be honest in our business practices, never over charging, never saying white lies, and always being straight-forward. THAT is the Torah’s key for success.

Have a great Shabbos!

School finally began this week!

For Rochel Leah, it was a big move. Now she’s in Kita Aleph (first grade), complete with school uniform, “Hello Kitty” backpack, which is the size of a tank (What IS “Hello Kitty” anyhow?), and homework to boot.

Chaim is in … I guess you would call it “preschool” in America… whatever the level is before Kindergarten. And Tova is in pre-pre-preschool at somebody’s house.

Finally. Normalcy.

One of the things that is nice to see is the different upbringing our children are having than what we had. They’re Israeli, not American (they’re also frum, when their parents were not). When a new American boy came into Chaim’s class last year, the teacher asked him to speak to the boy in English to make friends. Chaim refused and explained, “I speak English ONLY in my house. Here, I speak ONLY in Hebrew”. Rochel Leah has made a group of friends herself, conversing in rapid-fire Hebrew, making it impossible to know what she is talking about. Tova, being third inline, is possibly the most Israeli. She has a deeper voice when speaking, understands (not speaks) both languages pretty well on her 1 ½ year old level, and has no fear of anything (DON’T cross her). All in all, it’s an interesting thing to experience, knowing that most of the things you experienced when you were a child, they will not; and most of the things that they will experience, you never did. Completely different culture, completely different way of life.

Okay! On to Torah!
“For Hashem, your G-d, walks in the midst of your camp to rescue you and to deliver your enemies before you; so your camp shall be holy, so that He will not see a shameful thing among you and turn away from behind you…” (Devarim 23:15)

Says Rav Zilberstein, “The Torah is telling us very plainly that if we are afraid to walk in the street or ride on buses because of suicide bombers; if we shudder every day at the news of another young father or mother struck down by illness in the prime of life; if we feel as though the tragedies surrounding us are impossible to bear; then we should know that this is all because we have not managed to make our camp holy.

“We look for all sorts of reasons why these pains are coming upon us; we look for help and segulos in all sorts of places; we beg and pray for salvation; but we forget the most important thing: ‘So that He will not see shameful thing among you and turn away from behind you’”

What is that ‘shameful thing’? A lack of modesty. What is modesty for a woman? Shaarei Teshuvah writes that a woman has to dress in a way that will not cause people to look at her. The Vilna Gaon writes that just as Torah study is most important for a man, modesty is most important for a woman. Just as the yetzer horah focuses his energy to keep men from learning Torah, so too does he focus his energy to keep women from being modest. Continues Rav Zilberstein, “We can understand, therefore, why the tests in the area of modesty are so difficult, and why even a woman who regards herself as “frum” or “chareidi” can walk in the street in a way that causes hundreds or even thousands of people to sin by looking at her”

Being that we’re living in the middle of a very secular city, there are certainly plenty of women that have no concept of modesty. They walk around wearing their lack of clothes, in order to catch people’s eyes (then they get insulted if somebody stares at them or treats them as if they were a piece of meat), and frankly, they are showing to the world that they are people who have little inner confidence in themselves.

My wife remarked on this on Shabbos. There are a few “perks” you get for being religious in such a city. First off, you always know that people are watching you and are going to judge the entire religious world based off of your behaviour. Second, you have to wear clothes. And because of this, you not only LOOK “put together”, but you FEEL “put together”. When you are dressed in a modest fashion in the heat of the Israeli summer, you are saying, “I’m in control of myself and I don’t need to show my body to the world to make me feel better about myself”

Concerning modesty, men have the obligation not to look and women have the obligation not to show. When both sides are abiding with “their side” of the deal, then you will have a camp which is holy.

Have a great Shabbos!

This is a whole new world.

One of the first things we have learned is that our kosher options are very limited. For example, we have no butter.

The government runs its own kashrus organization, known as the Rabbanut. It’s no secret that the Rabbanut generally keeps a relatively lower standard of kashrus compared to other organizations. None of the Ultra Orthodox rely on it, and many of the Religious Zionists do not either. Instead, we use the Mehadrin kashrus organizations. There are several of them, some are relied on by all, and some are relied on by some and not others (ask your local rabbi). All agree though, that these Mehadrin organizations have a higher standard of kashrus. While Rabbanut is not considered treif, it’s still not relied upon.

So… that puts us in a pickle. In Jerusalem, with such a heavy religious population, getting mehadrin products is not a problem. Here, we are extremely limited on what we can buy. And just to make things extra fun, many products that are mehadrin in Jerusalem aren’t in the north, or aren’t even kosher. So, you have to be careful to check everything before you buy it.

On top of that, you have issues with fruits and vegetables.

In Eretz Yisroel, any produce grown here, must have trumah and maiser taken from it. In the time of the Beis HaMikdash, it was given to the Kohen and Levi. However, since we don’t have a Beis HaMikdash yet, we cannot give it do them. So we have to go through a procedure to “redeem” the holiness that is within the produce. In Jerusalem, every kosher store already has trumah and maiser taken from its produce before it’s sold, so you can buy it and eat it immediately. Here, with the exception of one major store that’s not in walking distance, and a small food store, which has limited produce, you have to take the trumah and maiser yourself before you eat it. I have my zucchinis ready to go in the kitchen. My first time I’m able to do the mitzvah!

Okay, I’m sure you’ll hear much more in the future, including my upcoming shopping trip to the local Druze village. For now… on to Torah!
“If a man married a wife” (Devarim 22:13)

Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein in his sefer “Aleinu L’Shabei’ach”, cites a story he heard from a marriage counselor. The counselor was dealing with a man who was clearly a devoted husband and father who did everything in his power to help his wife and children. However, he felt that his shalom bayis (peace in the house between husband and wife) was not so good. The counselor recognized that it was a lack of self-esteem on the husband’s part that was affecting the marriage.

During the conversation, the husband told the counselor about a neighbor of his who is a true bal chesed (does chesed). When somebody in the community died, leaving a wife and children, he undertook the financial burden and practically adopted the children so they would have a father figure.

After the story, the counselor said, “Do your ears hear what your mouth is saying? You just told me about the wonderful things that your neighbor does for these orphans, and you cannot stop marveling over his kindness. I’d like to ask you a question: If a person takes care of his own children, and sets aside time to help his wife, is he not a bal chesed?

“Don’t our Sages teach that the greatest mitzvah is to help those who are close to us, and that when a person has to choose between helping a relative or a non-relative, he is obligated to help his relative? If so, why are you so impressed with your neighbor and not impressed with yourself for being so devoted to your wife and children?... Just because they are your children, and their mother is your wife, are these not significant acts of chesed?”

The man understood the lesson, adopted this new mentality and his shalom bayis improved.

Rav Zilberstein concludes, “From this incident, I learned how skewed people’s attitude towards chesed can be. We know that charity begins at home, but do we realize that the greatest chesed a person can do is to be kind to his own family? Parents do hundreds of acts of chesed for their children each day, in the fulfillment of the mitzvah of loving others as you love yourself. These acts are considered mitzvos even though they are done for loved ones, whom we have a natural tendency to want to please.”

With that I leave you all with a good Shabbos!

This is a whole new world.

One of the first things we have learned is that our kosher options are very limited. For example, we have no butter.

The government runs its own kashrus organization, known as the Rabbanut. It’s no secret that the Rabbanut generally keeps a relatively lower standard of kashrus compared to other organizations. None of the Ultra Orthodox rely on it, and many of the Religious Zionists do not either. Instead, we use the Mehadrin kashrus organizations. There are several of them, some are relied on by all, and some are relied on by some and not others (ask your local rabbi). All agree though, that these Mehadrin organizations have a higher standard of kashrus. While Rabbanut is not considered treif, it’s still not relied upon.

So… that puts us in a pickle. In Jerusalem, with such a heavy religious population, getting mehadrin products is not a problem. Here, we are extremely limited on what we can buy. And just to make things extra fun, many products that are mehadrin in Jerusalem aren’t in the north, or aren’t even kosher. So, you have to be careful to check everything before you buy it.

On top of that, you have issues with fruits and vegetables.

In Eretz Yisroel, any produce grown here, must have trumah and maiser taken from it. In the time of the Beis HaMikdash, it was given to the Kohen and Levi. However, since we don’t have a Beis HaMikdash yet, we cannot give it do them. So we have to go through a procedure to “redeem” the holiness that is within the produce. In Jerusalem, every kosher store already has trumah and maiser taken from its produce before it’s sold, so you can buy it and eat it immediately. Here, with the exception of one major store that’s not in walking distance, and a small food store, which has limited produce, you have to take the trumah and maiser yourself before you eat it. I have my zucchinis ready to go in the kitchen. My first time I’m able to do the mitzvah!

Okay, I’m sure you’ll hear much more in the future, including my upcoming shopping trip to the local Druze village. For now… on to Torah!
“If a man married a wife” (Devarim 22:13)

Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein in his sefer “Aleinu L’Shabei’ach”, cites a story he heard from a marriage counselor. The counselor was dealing with a man who was clearly a devoted husband and father who did everything in his power to help his wife and children. However, he felt that his shalom bayis (peace in the house between husband and wife) was not so good. The counselor recognized that it was a lack of self-esteem on the husband’s part that was affecting the marriage.

During the conversation, the husband told the counselor about a neighbor of his who is a true bal chesed (does chesed). When somebody in the community died, leaving a wife and children, he undertook the financial burden and practically adopted the children so they would have a father figure.

After the story, the counselor said, “Do your ears hear what your mouth is saying? You just told me about the wonderful things that your neighbor does for these orphans, and you cannot stop marveling over his kindness. I’d like to ask you a question: If a person takes care of his own children, and sets aside time to help his wife, is he not a bal chesed?

“Don’t our Sages teach that the greatest mitzvah is to help those who are close to us, and that when a person has to choose between helping a relative or a non-relative, he is obligated to help his relative? If so, why are you so impressed with your neighbor and not impressed with yourself for being so devoted to your wife and children?... Just because they are your children, and their mother is your wife, are these not significant acts of chesed?”

The man understood the lesson, adopted this new mentality and his shalom bayis improved.

Rav Zilberstein concludes, “From this incident, I learned how skewed people’s attitude towards chesed can be. We know that charity begins at home, but do we realize that the greatest chesed a person can do is to be kind to his own family? Parents do hundreds of acts of chesed for their children each day, in the fulfillment of the mitzvah of loving others as you love yourself. These acts are considered mitzvos even though they are done for loved ones, whom we have a natural tendency to want to please.”

With that I leave you all with a good Shabbos!

Our neighborhood took a big loss this past week with the passing of Rav Moshe Adler.

I don't expect anybody to know his name. He wasn't a well known talmid chacham. He WAS a talmid chacham, but not well known.

Rav Adler just celebrated his 80th birthday two months ago. He was a "working man" in the US and a close student of Rav Yaakov Kamenitsky. He spent his later years stricken with cancer and other illnesses and when he decided to move to Israel, his doctors warned him that it would be a one way flight, since his body would not be able to handle the trip back.

Here was a man who was always taking a physical beating through illness, yet he didn't let it keep him down. I davened with him at the 6:30 am minyan, and he was there every day, after a 15 minute walk, at 5:50 am. If he wasn't there by 6:00 am, it meant he either davened at the earlier minyan, or he was too ill to make it at all. The only time I saw him come "late" was when he came at 6:15am, huffing and puffing and in a lot of pain.

Even though, most of his life was spent in the office, learning was the important thing and his main focus in life. To him, work was there to support his family and that was it. His avodas Hashem (serving Hashem) was what his life revolved around. When he finally came here, he began to learn with one of the more prestigious rabbeim of the community every day, so high were his skills.

It's a little chilling now. Every morning I would sit next to him and it was a source of inspiration. Every Shabbos, I would set up his seat with his chumash and siddur and put it back after davening, to make it easier on him. In return, he would say his morning brochos by me, so I could say 'amen' to them.

Before his burial, they brought his body by the shul where we said tehillim. In Israel, they don't put bodies in coffins; they're wrapped in their tallis, so you see the form laying there. It's pretty strange, and that's the last you see of the person. I guess the timing is right with Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur around the corner.

Well... if anybody needs a good example of what a Jew should be, he served it in the proper way. He pushed himself to the limits in all aspects in life, and for that, he earned the respect of the entire community.
"You shall surely send away (shaleiyach tishalach) the mother bird" (Devarim 22:7)

In this week's parsha we have the mitzvah of Shiluach HaKain, sending away the mother bird. When a mother bird is sitting on her eggs or chicks, it's a mitzvah to send her away and take possession of the eggs/chicks. When the mother bird flies away in fright and complains to Hashem, Hashem is reminded of the plight of the Jewish people who are also away from their home.

Recently we had some doves make a nest by us, and had the opportunity to do the mitzvah (yes, I used gloves, and they hatched and are off living a nice life).

The Gemara (Chullin 141a) points out the double wording of the word "send". We might think that we need to first send away the mother bird and have compassion on it, if you are going to use the eggs for your personal use. But, if you are doing it only for the mitzvah, you do not need to have such compassion. Hence the double wording. To stress the importance of first shooing away the bird, even if it's just for the mitzvah.

Rav Chaim Katz, the former Rosh Yeshiva of Telz, used this to point out the concept of thinking about others when doing a mitzvah.

Even when you are involved with a mitzvah, you are to keep in mind other people around you.

A few months ago, I saw a 'comic' in shul. For the first few frames, the main character was going from one yeshiva to another, trying to find a nice quiet place to learn. However, each place was packed with people and too loud for him. Finally, he found a place with people who were learning quietly. He settled himself down and began to learn in a very loud voice, disturbing everybody there.

A small example of what not to do.

Another one is unfortunately popular. And that deals with minyanim on planes. From everything that I have seen and heard, all the Gedolim have said that one should sit and daven by himself in his seat, so as not to disturb the others on the plan who might be sleeping or trying to use the washroom, etc...

However, as we have noted in last week's dvar torah, people don't always like to listen... so while they are being stringent in one "mitzvah", they are doing other sins.

I'm sure we can all think of such examples. Of course, sometimes a mitzvah might take precedence over other people's feelings, and sometimes not. We do not break Shabbos, for example, to go to some family event in order that Aunt Betty's feelings don't get hurt. By sitting and learning, we will know when this rule applies and when this does not. However, we see a clear lesson that we do need to keep in mind the feelings of other people, even for the sake of a mitzvah.

Have a great Shabbos!