Chayei Sarah

Somebody recently gave us a stack of magazines that they had read and no longer needed.  One of them contained an interview with two women who lived on the kibbutzim in the south, were taken hostage, and later released.

I've always known that there was a hatred for religion in these places, but I did not know (I heard rumors) that every Yom Kippur they would barbecue pork and eat it.  One of them explained that nowadays, it's more of a custom rather than something specific against the Torah, comparing it to turkey on Thanksgiving.  Nonetheless, it gives you some insight.  What gives even more insight into them is how much Arabic they knew and how much they knew about their Muslim neighbors, compared to how much they knew of their Jewish brethren.

One woman explained how she was instrumental in keeping a certain outreach rav from coming to the kibbutz to teach Torah.  She showed the interviewer all the WhatsApp messages that she sent him, showing her violent reaction to such an idea and all her threats which led him to back away.  She said that every time she went abroad, and somebody asked her if she was Jewish, she would reply, "No, I'm Israeli."

On October 7, her mother and her two children were killed in her home and she was dragged off to Gaza.  While there, she started yelling at them in Arabic, "This is how you treat your cousins?!"  To which they responded, "You are not Children of Avraham! You are not real Jews! You're Israeli colonialists!"

That hit her hard, hearing her own words slap her in her face.

Today, she is in close contact with the same rav and is spearheading the effort to build the kibbutz's first shul, with homes to accommodate religious families.

Another woman originally came from Russia.  She was not against Torah but knew nothing of it.  When she was kidnapped, (the recently released video of one of the hostages is her son), she was kept with another woman.  And strangely enough, their captors were very interested in their religious knowledge.  They asked her if she knew Torah?  No.  Have you ever read the Torah?  No.  Can you even name the Ten Commandments? Together, they named five.

The terrorists were furious with them and yelled at them, "This is not okay!  How could you not even read your own Torah?"  She said that throughout their captivity, they were yelled at for not knowing their own religion.  Not for being evil Israeli baby-killers, but for simply not knowing any Torah!

After her release, she understood what Hashem wanted from her, and now keeps Shabbos, learns and davens on a regular basis.  She was given a set of beautiful Shabbos candles, which she is saving to use when her son returns.

Regarding rebuilding the kibbutz that she is from and the anti-Torah rules that they had, she said something interesting.  She said that she will go back and go back as a religious Jew.  And if anybody has problems with it, she doesn't care, she's too old to care about them.  Then she said (I don't have the quote in front of me, but it was like), "They are going to have to learn to get used to those of us who have become religious and be more open-minded."  The key was the usage of the plural, being that others from the same kibbutz have also changed their lives around.

It will be interesting to see what will become of these (hopefully former) anti-Torah kibbutzes when they are rebuilt.  But it's even more interesting how sometimes Hashem gives us messages which are very much tailored to where we need to improve.

May we all be able to see such messages, but not in such a dramatic way.

Okay, on to the parsha.

"She quickly emptied her pitcher into the trough and ran to the well again to draw water, and she drew water for all his camels. And the man was gazing at her, remaining silent, to know if Hashem had made his journey successful or not" (Bereishis 24: 20, 21).

An interesting question popped into my head this week.  When Eliezer went to find a wife for Yitzchok, he davened that his mission should be easily fulfilled and informed Hashem what his "test" was to reveal; which girl would be an appropriate wife.

As soon as he finished, Rivka comes out to get water, Eliezer asks her for some, she gives some to him and offers to water his camels as well.  At this point, his test was complete, since she fulfilled all of the conditions, and yet, he still remained silent "to know if Hashem had made his journey successful or not."

If it was clear that his conditions were fulfilled, why was he still in doubt whether or not his mission was successful?

There are a few answers to this question.  However, I have another possible explanation.

Perhaps he was waiting to see if Rivka would complete the tasks that she said she would carry out.  If she only did part of the work, perhaps this is not a good shidduch.  However, if she did everything that she said she would do, that's a sign that she's the right one.

So many times, a person will offer to do this chesed or that chesed.  They are more than happy to offer help.  Yet, when it comes to actually fulfilling that chesed, they always have an excuse on why in the end they cannot, or why they can do only part of what they offered.  In the end, the recipient of such "chesed" feels bad, since their needs were not fulfilled, yet at the same time they feel bad since the person DID something, but not what was actually needed.

It gets worse when the same thing happens with business.

I have a neighbor who moved out for a few years and rented out his home.  In the end, they decided to move in, but before he did, he decided to gut everything inside and rebuild it from scratch.  He's a former fighter pilot, a real go-getter.  Obviously he's older than I am, with five times more energy than I have.  Of course, I have more than double the amount of children he has, and his are married and out of the house.  Either way, every day I would see him with this worker or another, working on different aspects of the house.  Two weeks ago, I passed by and demanded a tour of the changes, which he graciously gave me.  As he was telling me what changes he made, he said, "These 'shibutznikim' (hard to translate: people who work on building/repairing buildings) are all a bunch of thieves.  You tell them what you want, they agree, they don't do the job, and then demand payment.  So, I'm doing this all by myself."

With business you are actually agreeing to do something, and you are taking money to do it.  If you only go halfway, you're not fulfilling your obligations and, in the end, are stealing from the client.

So, perhaps from this episode, we see the importance of keeping one's word.  Whether you offer a chesed for free or agree to a business deal, it's important to do everything that you said you would do, to the satisfaction of the recipient.

With that, I wish you all a wonderful and quiet Shabbos!

It's truly amazing how things from so long ago stick in your head.

Last Friday morning, I left my home to go to daven.  The air was (finally!) cooler and crisp.  Birds were chirping, no cars were yet in the street, and the sun was beginning to rise.  It was one of those "Disney" moments, where any Ben Torah should reflect on the Creator's world.  Suddenly, I heard the "thump thump" of heavy artillery coming from the north.  And what's the first thing that comes to my mind?

"I LOVE the smell of napalm in the morning … it smells like … victory …."

If you can remember where the line is from: you're old.  If you can understand and appreciate how that came into my mind at that point, you're as sick and twisted as I am.

"And Yitzchok brought her (Rivka) into the tent of his mother, Sarah" (Bereishis 24:67).

Rashi notes a medrash that states that when Sarah was alive, there were three miracles that occurred in her tent that disappeared when she died, only to return when Rivka married Yitzchok.  The first was that the candles lit for Shabbos stayed lit throughout the week.  The second was that the dough always produced more than it should have.  And the third was that the tent was always protected by a cloud.

Rav Pincus explains: the main reason given in the Gemara for Shabbos candles is for peace in the home.  Obviously, this was given before electricity.  But, without light in the home, there are bound to be accidents with people and objects.  However, a well-lit home will lessen those issues.  Of course, there are deeper reasons connected to it, but that's outside the scope of this dvar Torah.  Either way, this "Peace in the Home" light did not just remain for Shabbos, but also throughout the week.  So, even in times of work and stress, it was evident that Peace in the Home reigned throughout.

Regarding the blessing of the dough, that is the blessing of income.  People mistakenly believe that having plenty of money is a blessing.  Many rich people might disagree with that.  The more money, the more worries.  The more money, the more "friends" you have.  At the opposite end, many people mistakenly believe that being poor is "holy."  After all, so many of the great Torah personalities were poor (yet somehow forgetting many were quite well off).

A friend of mine told me that his grandmother always used to daven, "Please give me enough money for what I need in life, and a little bit more."  I think something like that makes sense.  A person shouldn't be occupied with money his whole life.  It's not a heathy thing (unless he's doing it for mitzvos).  A good brachah is that a person should have what he needs, FEELS that he has what he needs, and have as few debts as possible, and not have to work too hard for his money.  This was the blessing of the dough.  Sarah and Rivkah started off with X amount of dough, put in enough work for X amount of dough, and received 3X the amount of bread.  That's a true blessing regarding income.

The final one was that of the cloud covering the tent.  The Jewish home, or really, the Jewish family, has to also have modesty in it.  And while of course there is modesty regarding clothing, there is modesty regarding behavior as well.  And there is modesty as a family unit as well.  When a family lives and works together, they maintain a bond that is shared only amongst themselves and not amongst others.  The relationship, or the closeness, within a healthy family should be stronger than the relationship that we have with others.

All three of these things were evident with Sarah and evident with Rivkah.

May it be evident with us as well.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

This past week, we celebrated the bas mitzvah of one of my daughters.  My eldest daughter asked me if I gave her sister any ‘piece of wisdom’ shortly before she turned 12.  It turns out that she remembers what I told her a few hours before she turned twelve: “You have a few hours left to eat a cheeseburger without getting in a lot of trouble!”

Separately, my son reminded me of what I told him right as he was getting up for his aliyah for his bar mitzvah: “If you make any mistakes, just remember, everybody is watching you”

They are REALLY lucky to have such a wise and inspirational father.

Okay, on to Torah!

Last week's parsha ended with the near-sacrifice of Yitzchok, and this week's parsha begins with the death of Sarah.  Rashi explains that the reason these two are placed side-by-side is because Sarah was told that her husband Avraham was about to kill her only child, Yitzchok, and at the last minute he was saved.  At that point, due to the shock of hearing that her son was about to be killed, her soul left her.

There are many explanations of this Rashi, too many for this venue.

However, Rav Pinkus wanted to learn an important lesson from this Rashi.  From here, he says, we need to learn the importance of measuring our words when speaking with others.  Here you have a case of bad news being delivered, followed by good news.  However, the shock of the bad news was enough to kill Sarah.  Therefore, he says, it's important, in such a case, to first start off with the good news, so when the full story comes out, which contains the bad news, the person will not be in shock.

This is similar, he said, to a person who goes up to a parent, who's child went on a field trip with his school.  If they say, "Did you hear that the bus your son was on was in a terrible accident?  Baruch Hashem, it sounds like your child is okay…", that, even though there was a small amount of time between the bad and good, will immediately startle the parent.  In such a case, it would be better to say, "Baruch Hashem, your child is fine and well, but I heard…".

There is a secretary here from one of the schools, that every time she needs to call a parent during school hours, she starts off immediately with, "This is so and so calling from the school, don't worry, your son is okay…", because she knows that a parent begins to worry when the school is calling at that time.

So, we see from here that how a person words things can cause shock to another, and how we need to try our best to think ahead on how not to cause such a shock, even for a small moment.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Well, my “kollel” has been going on for just over a week now.  All six kids have been showing up daily.  Three of them are serious about their learning, three have … focus issues   But, still they come and do what they can.  Some days more, some days less.

One thing I noticed about them:

My Hebrew is not the greatest.  I can get around and do what I need to do, but languages were never my strong point.  I’ve worked hard to get rid of the American accent, since even I find it so difficult to listen to.  I’ve gotten to the point that Israelis actually hear an English accent in my Hebrew (strange, I know, given my English roots).

Anyhow … these kids, who according to the school have “chutzpah” problems, haven’t made fun of my Hebrew or my accent.  And if I haven’t been clear on explaining, they haven’t given me trouble for that either.  And I was thinking about why they have "spared me from their wrath".

It didn’t take too long to realize that when you give children, especially at this age, respect, and show that you care and want to work with them, even if they don’t do everything you say, they still respect you.  These guys have an afternoon teacher that does not care about them (compared to the main one, who is amazing), and here comes some crazy American who drops everything to learn with them, and they respect that.

A very important lesson to be learned here in child-raising, whether yours or somebody else's.

Heck, a very important lesson to be learned in human relationships.

This week's parsha begins with the passing away of Sarah.  Rashi explains that when Sarah heard that Yitzchok was being bound to be sacrificed and was saved at the last minute, she went into shock and passed away.

Rav Shimshon Pincus learns an interesting lesson from here.  I've seen it in practice a little, but never gave much thought to it.

Once in a while, we might get a call from the school or from a teacher, and the first thing they would say is, "Hello, this is so-and-so from the school, don't worry, everything is fine.  I'm just calling because…"

Why would Sarah have passed away if she heard that in the end, Yitzchok was not sacrificed?  It was because, the "notification" she received started with "Yitzchok was bound to be sacrificed," and only after, did she hear, "but in the end, he wasn't."  During the brief time, whether seconds or minutes, between the bad news and the good news, her body went into shock.

From here we learn the importance of reassuring the listener that things are okay in situations where they might believe that something terrible happens.  So, when the school secretary calls up, a parent automatically thinks that something bad happened, and the secretary immediately starts off with "Everything is fine!" in order to reassure the parent.

As we know, words carry a lot of power with them, and we always need to be careful with how we use them.  And sometimes we need to be careful in which order to use them, in order not to give anybody an unnecessary shock.

With that, I wish you a wonderful Shabbos!

Boy, I'm happy I don't live in America now.

In the end, somebody, Biden or Trump, is going to end up with some major egg on his face.  Looking at what I see, I would normally believe it would be Trump who will lose.  However, it's 2020; it's the year of really strange things…so…you never know.

What scares me most is not Biden, nor so much of the super-left wing of the Democrat Party which is gaining strength (okay…the super-left does scare me), it's that the major media outlets and social media outlets learned something very important: By outright lies and censorship of things and ideas that they simply disagree with, they wield a very powerful weapon against their political enemies.  You can deny the Holocaust or call for the destruction of Israel, but you cannot run a political story against a politician that they happen to like.  And many, if not most, of the country, doesn't really seem to care.

That is why I feel afraid for the American people.

On the other hand, there is a part of me that is happy if Trump loses.  So many Jews put their faith in him, giving him Moshiach-like standings.  Writing how he stands for morals and virtues, and other nonsense such as that.  He, as a human being, is no tzaddik.  He deserves recognition for the good that he has done for the religious community and Israel, yes, but let's not make him into some righteous person fighting for morals and decency.

Well…as they say: It's all in G-d's hands…let's move on to more important things.

"Let it be that the maiden to whom I shall say, 'Please tip your jug so I may drink,' and who replied, 'Drink, and I will even water your camels,' her, will You have chosen for Your servant, for Yitzchok…and it was, when the camels had finished drinking, the man took a golden ring…" (Bereishis 24:14).

Rav Shimshon Pincus asks why Eliezer waited for Rivkah to finish watering the camels before giving her the gifts and asking about her.  He davened for a sign to find the right girl to be a wife for Yitzchok.  It was not a simple sign either, something that just anybody would have done.  So, when she agreed not only to give him water but to also water his camels, he should have known right there and then that she was destined to be Yitzchok's wife.  So, why the wait?

Rav Pincus answered that he wanted to see her behavior after she finished.  What would she say?  What would she do?  Would she ask for payment?  In the end, she did not ask for any payment and instead went on to give even Eliezer's men water.  And that continuous display of chesed was the sign Eliezer wanted.

I, in my never-to-be humble opinion, want to offer my own idea.  Perhaps he wanted to see if she would complete the chesed that she began.  Many people have great ideas (chesed or not) and begin them, but then…things start to slow down, and it never comes to completion.  Somehow, they run out of steam.  If this is true for non-mitzvah projects, all the more so for mitzvah-projects, where the Yetzer Horah is working overtime to thwart.

In the end, Rivkah not only gave Eliezer something to drink, and agreed to water his camels, she completed the entire venture, which was no easy feat.  Perhaps that was what Eliezer was looking for.  If so (or even if not), it's an important lesson for us all to learn.

It’s been at least two years since we’d last bought butter in a store.  We did get some from friends in Yerushaliyim 6 months ago or so, which we hoarded in the freezer, but butter, especially butter with a good hechsher, has gone Missing in Action throughout Israel.

A friend of my wife's pointed out that while Israel is considered to be a high-tech nation, most of the high-tech seems to only LEAVE Israel.  For example, our internet speed maxes out at 3MB/second upload.  In the United States, it’s at least 100/MB.  Israel JUST passed a bill making it obligatory for government offices to receive email, rather than just fax.  And for whatever reason, we can’t seem to get it together to provide butter.

So, now my wife is going to actually make her own butter somehow.  Along with her cream cheese she makes every week.  We’re slowly becoming more and more Amish.

“But you shall go to my land and to my birthplace, and you shall take a wife for my son, for Isaac." (Bereishis 24:4)

I know of two families here.  One is part of a larger, very well-known and very well-respected family in Israel.  Super frum, does every stringency in the book plus more, and is well connected.  Another is…most certainly not.  Their financial situation isn’t great, they have no family, one of the parents has mental issues, etc. The first has two older daughters who are still not married.  The second, their oldest daughters were married off quite easily.

Now, I will say this: I have not yet married off children, nor am I “in the parsha," so one could say “who am I to talk” and they would be right.  However, Toras Emes…

Marrying off children, when it comes down to it, is similar to any other issue that deals with faith and trust in Hashem.  It’s similar to having financial stability, good health, good children, etc. You have to do your part, but you also have to know throughout the whole time that Hashem is running things. 

On the other hand, however, it’s a lot more stressful, yet, fundamentally, it’s the same basic issue.

Like all things, one must try his best to internalize that we must do our hishtadlus, but ultimately, Hashem runs the program.  We have all heard that Hashem sends us only things that we can handle.  However, and I’ve heard this from several bigger people, many times people bring tests on themselves, and in that case they will not necessarily be able to handle it.  Or, in many cases, people have the ability to pass the test, but they put in their own stumbling blocks that make it difficult or impossible to pass the test that they were given.

I once heard a talk, I forgot who it was, where the speaker had to go to a shiva house for somebody whose child was killed in a car accident.  It so happens that this child was not buckled in, because his parents were not so careful in this regard.  Of course, he gets there, and the parents are “consoling” themselves that “everything is from Hashem."  He grew very angry, but kept quiet.  He really wanted to yell at them for having such a terrible attitude.  Yes, everything is from Hashem, but when YOU REFUSE TO DO WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO Do, then YOU bring troubles on yourself.

On the other hand, if somebody is not bringing on his own tests and is acting properly according to the level of faith and trust that he is on, one can rest assured that Hashem will take care of what he needs.  Of course, it’s important to know that HASHEM knows what you need a bit better than you do.  So, things don’t always work out according to YOUR plans, but they will according to HIS.

With that, I wish you a great Shabbos!

For those Chicagoans out there, Dr. Yerachmiel Kramer, formerly of Chicago, passed away suddenly last erev Shabbos. I spent most of my day Sunday on the road to get to and from his home to see his family.

They were my neighbors in Chicago, and I had open access to their home for several years. All their children were born in Bnei Brak, and they had to return to the States for a few years, for personal reasons. Knowing it was temporary, they continued as best as they could to maintain an Israeli lifestyle while in Chicago. Finally, a few years after I moved here, they were also able to return.

They had a very big impact on my life at that time, and share in the responsibility of where I am today.

I spent several hours with the family alone, and got to hear some recent stories that I didn’t know about. While he worked as a psychologist in Bnei Brak, his life was Torah. In fact, he asked Rav Chaim Kanievsky if he can quit his work and learn full-time. Rav Kanievsky told him that under no circumstances should he do such a thing. He was to continue to help people in whatever capacities he could as a psychologist. So, he was to continue to learn whenever he could. What was the definition of “whenever he could”? He son said that recently he came home around midnight to find his father sitting at the table, drinking a tea, clearly just having arrived home himself. He wished his father a good night and went to bed. The next morning he awoke, his father had already left (he always caught the first possible minyan), and books were left on the table, obviously used just a few hours previously.

What’s more interesting is that he passed away shortly after coming home from the mikvah. He died and was buried on erev Shabbos, which is considered to be a very good time to pass away and to be buried. To die and be buried at such a time and right after the mikveh . . . well, the family was very comforted by such a thing.

May we only hear good news.
“And Lavan and Besuel responded . . . ‘The matter is from Hashem'” (Bereishis 24:50)

When the Beis HaLevi was ready for marriage, his uncle, Rav Itzele of Volozhin, took it upon himself to find a wife for his nephew. He was looking for a woman from a distinguished family who can also support the Beis HaLevi until he found a rabbinic position.

Naturally, this would take some time, and the Beis HaLevi continued in his studies.

One day, one of the local residents asked the Beis HaLevi if he was interested in getting married. The Beis HaLevi replied that he was, and the man offered to set him up with the baker’s daughter. The Beis HaLevi agreed, but, quoting halacha, told him that it is forbidden to marry a woman without seeing her first.

This particular woman happened to be extremely short, and a bit hunchbacked, so the matchmaker instructed her father to have her stand on a stool beside the window while she was bent over, working the dough.

That day, the Beis HaLevi walked past with the matchmaker and saw the young woman, and commented, “I see that she is a ‘woman of valour,’" and agreed to the match.

When the uncle of the Beis HaLevi heard that his nephew was engaged, and to whom he was engaged to, he gave a slap on the tabled and declared, “Mazel tov! Master of the Universe, You won!”

The obvious lesson to be learned, is . . . well . . . obvious, when it comes down to marriage. But, the story is equally applicable to all areas in life.

Sometimes, we have our ideas on what needs to happen in life, whether regarding marriage, income, children, etc., but Hashem is the ultimate "match-maker" in life, and sets people up with exactly what they need in their particular lives at certain particular times. Yes, we do our best to see that what we think is best for us, comes to fruition; but in the end, when decisions have been made, we should always accept it, and say, “Master of the Universe, You won!”

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

My wife is into making mugs. Last year, I received my “You drank my coffee, prepare to die” mug. For my birthday, I received one that says, “I am your density” (yes, purposely misspelled). And just yesterday, I came home to see one that says, “I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m exhausted from being so incredibly awesome yesterday”

Another sign of a great wife.
In this week’s parsha we learn how Avraham’s servant, Eliezer, found a wife for Yitzchok. We all know the story of how he was at the city’s well and davened to Hashem to find the right match. As part of that prayer, he made a test. If he asks a girl for water, she will not only give him water but also his camels, than she’s the right one.

As it happens, Eliezer finds Rivka and asks her for water. Not only did she give him water, but also gave his camels. Eliezer, being completely sure that his prayers were answered, takes out jewelry for Rivka, and then asks her for her name and from which family she is from.

When Eliezer is sitting with Rivka’s father and brother, he goes through, in detail, the order from Avraham to find a wife for Yitzchok, the traveling, the test, finding Rivka, etc.… yet, he makes a small change in his story. He tells them, that he FIRST asked who she was and who her family was, then only AFTER did he give her the jewelry!

Rashi explains that Eliezer was afraid that Rivka’s family would be in complete shock that he had given her the presents without knowing who she was. However, this seems a bit strange, since Eliezer just went through the whole story that was full of clear Divine intervention. If they knew of all the miracles that happened until here, why would they doubt Eliezer’s mental health?

Here, says Rav Aryeh Brueckheimer, we learn the distance between the intellect, what we know, and what we actually believe. We can intellectually know something, yet find it hard to “digest”.

The Chazon Ish says that this is the difference between emunah and bitachon. Emunah is the knowledge of Hash’s existence, and bitachon is the actualization of this belief. Many people have emunah, but how many of those have true bitachon? How many people LIVE with that emunah?

We say in Aleinu at the end of davening, “And you should know today and place it on your heart that Hashem is the L-rd”. Not only must we KNOW it, but we also my FEEL it in our hearts.

Have a great Shabbos!

My wife is into making mugs. Last year, I received my “You drank my coffee, prepare to die” mug. For my birthday, I received one that says, “I am your density” (yes, purposely misspelled). And just yesterday, I came home to see one that says, “I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m exhausted from being so incredibly awesome yesterday”

Another sign of a great wife.
In this week’s parsha we learn how Avraham’s servant, Eliezer, found a wife for Yitzchok. We all know the story of how he was at the city’s well and davened to Hashem to find the right match. As part of that prayer, he made a test. If he asks a girl for water, she will not only give him water but also his camels, than she’s the right one.

As it happens, Eliezer finds Rivka and asks her for water. Not only did she give him water, but also gave his camels. Eliezer, being completely sure that his prayers were answered, takes out jewelry for Rivka, and then asks her for her name and from which family she is from.

When Eliezer is sitting with Rivka’s father and brother, he goes through, in detail, the order from Avraham to find a wife for Yitzchok, the traveling, the test, finding Rivka, etc.… yet, he makes a small change in his story. He tells them, that he FIRST asked who she was and who her family was, then only AFTER did he give her the jewelry!

Rashi explains that Eliezer was afraid that Rivka’s family would be in complete shock that he had given her the presents without knowing who she was. However, this seems a bit strange, since Eliezer just went through the whole story that was full of clear Divine intervention. If they knew of all the miracles that happened until here, why would they doubt Eliezer’s mental health?

Here, says Rav Aryeh Brueckheimer, we learn the distance between the intellect, what we know, and what we actually believe. We can intellectually know something, yet find it hard to “digest”.

The Chazon Ish says that this is the difference between emunah and bitachon. Emunah is the knowledge of Hash’s existence, and bitachon is the actualization of this belief. Many people have emunah, but how many of those have true bitachon? How many people LIVE with that emunah?

We say in Aleinu at the end of davening, “And you should know today and place it on your heart that Hashem is the L-rd”. Not only must we KNOW it, but we also my FEEL it in our hearts.

Have a great Shabbos!

My wife and I were talking about the “holiday seasons” that we were brought up with. The sounds and smells of X-Mas. The television specials. The stores and homes all decorated with lights and toys. The snow. . . . That beautiful white snow (which we haven’t touched in years . . . though I did see it on top of the mountains last year during that big fall we had) . . . . It’s something you REALLY enjoy as a kid. And it’s something our children will know nothing of. We were discussing how weird that this “basic” experience that we had will not even be a thought in the heads of our children.

After the conversation, I turned to the table, and saw a giant poster that my daughter had been working on, with the lines of “Hamalach HaGoel Osi” and “Shema Yisroel” (what we say before bed), with night time decorations all around it.

I then thanked G-d for being given the opportunity to raise our children in such an environment.

Okay, on to Torah . . .
The Chizkuni (Bereishis 24:13) teaches that when looking for a wife for Yitzchak, Eliezer did not want to go to the house of the girl to check her out, rather he wanted specifically to see the behavior of the girl when she was outside of the house. The way a child behaves outside the house does not necessarily equal the behavior inside the house.

Rav Shimshon Rafael Hirsch writes that parents must not only guide their children in the house and teach them what is proper and not proper, but it is also important to give them decisions for themselves to make on their own. Through these decisions, the children will be able to put to practice the education they received inside the house, and strengthen that foundation.

Rav Shlomo Wolbe believes that even within the house, children need to have their own space to make their own decisions. If they are never given their own decisions to make, they will be like robots, preaching only what their parents want.

It reminds me of a time we had somebody’s child over when his mother went to the hospital. When we asked him what he wanted for dinner, he thought, and replied “ice cream.” We told him that it wasn’t a viable option in our house and gave him a list of real options. When my wife related this to his mother, his mother said, “You give your children options on what they can eat? I simply make what I make and give it to them. If they don’t like it, they don’t eat it.” She was baffled at the idea of her children’s making choices on their own. But what was the casualty? Her son didn’t know HOW to make choices. We were always taught that when children are old enough to make choices in their lives (such as what clothes to wear, what to eat, etc.) they should be given that choice to make (within certain rules or a set of choices, of course).

Rav Aryeh Brueckheimer writes that this week’s parsha is often read on the Shabbos before Rosh Chodesh Kislev, the month of Chanukah. “And with Chanukah, there are many parallels to the halachos of the menorah and education. For example, one of the laws of Chanukah is that one may not remove the shamash from the wick until the newly lit candle can burn on its own. Only then has one fulfilled the mitzvah. Similarly, in education, we must give over a strong foundation to our children, but the education isn’t complete until they are capable of applying on their own the values and ideals that we have instilled in them.”

Have a great Shabbos!

Thank G-d, it’s over.

We just had nationwide municipality elections.

While in the US, everybody, for the most part votes according to their party lines, here in Israel, the new parties come and go. Coalitions are formed. Coalitions are broken. There’s always change involved, and even on the municipality-level, elections are important and have direct impacts in personal lives. Therefore, EVERYBODY is out campaigning.

This election cycle around, the three religious parties: Ultra-Orthodox Ashkanazim, Sphardim, and Religious Zionists, came together as one party, hoping to increase their three combined seats (out of 17) to at least four. They received 18% of the vote (at maximum, 10% of the city is religious, so that’s not bad), however, that means they didn’t gain any new seats. The (now) anti-religious party, Bayit HaYehudi, won 1 seat, however, due to some weird laws with leftover votes, they received another for free. And, the mayor’s party received seven. While the mayor himself has been pretty good to the religious community, his number two and three in his party are outspoken enemies. His former vice-mayor, made a public comment about not renting or selling to Arabs, so they don’t take over. Not very politically correct – so he was sacked. The new vice-mayor made similar statements against the religious… she’s still in power. Not suprising. Even on the national level, the left likes the Arabs more than the religious. Nu? What are you going to do? I’ll stick my head back in the Gemara and go back to work.


Okay, on to Torah!

“And she drew for all his camels” (Bereishis 24:20)

When Avraham’s servant, Eliezer, went out to find a wife for Yitzchok, he had a test in mind to see what type of girl was needed. When he asked Rivkah for a drink for himself, she not only gave him water, but also his camels. Afterwards, she continued and said, “Even straw and feed is plentiful with us as well as a place to lodge”.

Rivkah didn’t simply listen and accept Eliezer’s request, she “looked ahead”, and understood that his camels needed water and they needed a place to rest. She didn’t simply wait for new orders, but rather took it upon herself to make sure everything was taken care of.

This was what Eliezer was looking for. He wanted somebody who knew how to anticipate the needs of their spouse and to take care of them without having to be asked. And THIS is one of the major points to work on to have a successful marriage. If each side is willing to negate themselves to help the other, a successful and fruitful marriage will ensue.

Have a great Shabbos!

My friend Dudi (it’s worth everything to have a friend named “Dudi”) did the finishing touches to the paint and repair job that I mentioned two weeks ago. After he was done and he gave me his official tour on what he did, I turned to my wife and said, “This cost us a lot of money to do, however, I feel far more comfortable with this than with most transactions that I’ve made in the past. I know that the work is solid, and if there is an issue, he’ll come back immediately to fix it”

Dudi takes great pride in his work. His biggest fear is that you should think that he is ripping you off. He told me, “Mr. Weener (he likes to practice his English on me)… you have given me MONEY… not ROCKS… I have to give you something in return! Look here…” The materials he used were the best (and more expensive, of course) and he made sure to catch every ‘nook and cranny’. He even did things that I didn’t ask for. “Mr. Weener! When you do something, you must always to da BEST! It’s da BEST or nossing! (Israelis can’t say “th”). He worked extremely hard and because of that, I’m sitting in the middle of a thunderstorm and heavy rain without any leaks in the roof or walls.

If more people had a work ethic like Dudi, we would have a lot less stress in our daily lives.

Just keep that in mind, next time somebody hires you for work or you have any project to do: It’s da BEST or nossing!

Okay, on to Torah!

“And Avraham weighed out to Ephron the price” (Bereishis 23:16)

We learn in this pasuk, when Avraham was buying a burial plot for Sarah, he paid immediately. He didn’t push off the payment or give IOU notes, he paid everything up-front, in full.

Somebody once told Rav Zilberstein the following story. One his way home from kollel one day, he found himself missing his wallet. He searched all over, but was unable to locate it at all. “My wallet had such important papers in it that I didn’t know how I’d manage without it. The business of obtaining copies of all the documents in various government offices is a job I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

“Instead of complaining to anyone who would listen, I decided to think thoughts of teshuvah and repent for things that I had done. Perhaps Hashem would have compassion on me because of this and restore what I had lost.

“Suddenly, as though it had been sent from Above, I saw one of the ‘Kol B’Ramah’ sheets in Bnei Brak. I began to read it- and there, glittering right in front of my eyes, were words of inspiration by Rav Zilberstein on the subject of repaying debts to storekeepers, of not paying with checks that are post-dated too far ahead, and so on. At that moment, I remembered that I, too, owed a large sum to the local grocer. As a practical expression of my teshuvah thoughts, I decided to pay the debt immediately, in cash.

“I put my hand into my pocket to take out my wallet. That’s when the bitter reality struck me-my great loss. I didn’t have a penny. All my money had been inside my lost wallet!”

“Being in an inspired frame of mind, I did not allow my yetzer hora to confuse me. I went to a neighbor and borrowed the money from him, and then paid off my entire debt to the grocer.

“What can I say? Not two minutes had passed from the time that I walked through my front door after paying the debt, when there came a knock on the door. A 10-year old boy stood there and in his hand was my wallet, with all my money and important documents!”

Money issues are one of the major stress factors in life. It can make or break marriages, friendships, and business relationships. It can go so far to be responsible for wars. That is why it is imperative to do our best to pay our debts on time and if possible, to stay out of debt in the first place. Here in Israel, living on a store’s “tab” is normal at smaller stores. You can keep a running “tab” and pay it off every once in a while, and it’s perfectly normal. However, even in such cases, we should try to make sure it doesn’t get too big so it won’t be a burden on the store owner. Similarly, when a person lends us money, we should try our best to pay off the debt fully as soon as possible.

With that, I leave you with a wonderful Shabbos!