Yom Kippur

Rav Shimshon Pincus asks a very famous question. If it’s true that a person is recreated during the period of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, why is it, immediately after Yom Kippur, we’re stuck doing the same sins, having the same lack of concentration during davening and brachos, etc, etc… as if nothing ever happened?

He begins his answer by quoting the Rambam (Hilchos Shogagim) who writes that if a person does not believe that Yom Kippur cleanses him, then Yom Kippur will not work. However, somebody who believes that Yom Kippur DOES clean his soul from sin, then Yom Kippur does work.

This issue is compared to a person who goes to a doctor with marks and scabs on his skin. The doctor informs him that he is suffering from an internal infection and the marks and scabs are simply the symptoms. The doctor then gives him medication to clear the infection and puts him on a special diet to continue to keep the infection away. After a week or so, the man returns complaining, “Why should I keep up with this hard diet? Look! My skin is still the same! Your medicine didn’t work!”

The doctor replies, “You’re wrong. Your infection is completely clear. Your skin WILL clear up, but it takes a little more time, that’s all. If you give up on your diet, the infection will come back, and not only will your skin not recover, but neither will your body”.

This answers the question.

When we leave Yom Kippur, we need to know that our soul has been cleaned! True, we still have certain sins we still feel a connection to, we still have concentration problems in our davening and brachos… but those are only the lingering effects of the sin, they are not the sin itself! If we continue with our “diet”, if we continue living, for at least throughout Sukkos and to the next month, as if it were still the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we will start to see improvement even in those areas.

The important part is to KNOW, the Yom Kippur does atone for a person. Hashem DOES make us anew and creates us with a clean soul. It’s up to us to know that and to do our best to continue to keep it as clean as we can.

Have a wonderful and meaningful Yom Kippur, Sukkos, and Shmimi Atzeres!

I admit. Like many of you, when growing up, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur were not exactly the highlights of the year. To me, it meant being in shul for a long time, escaping “Junior Congregation,” and hoping everybody would finish up soon so we could finally go home and eat. This mentality has followed me into adulthood, and only up until the past few years have I been able to rid myself of that “natural” feeling.

I remember seeing those small books, “The Survivors Guide to Rosh HaShanah,” and I realized that it could simply be broken down to a few simple things: 1) EDUCATION. The more you know what these days are about and do, the more you appreciate it. 2) Knowing the davening before going into davening. 3) Having a minyan that you feel is right for you.

Over the years, #1 and #2 have improved greatly. I’ve also had several good minyanim, however over the past five years, I’ve attended a special minyan that starts at 5:30 a.m. It’s a 30-minute walk from my house, so I leave at 4:45 a.m., and have an enjoyable walk under the stars. The minyan is comprised of the Rosh Kollel of our kollel, and a nice-sized group of kollel members and some of their children. The davening is led by somebody who is more interested in davening than hearing his voice, and the entire minyan participates. There is no running around or talking. Just davening. We’re done by 11:00 a.m. (with a 15-minute kiddush in between) and you don’t have that feeling that time has been dragging by. Thanks to these three things, I’ve come to have a better appreciation for Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkos, and no long dread their arrival.

Okay, on to Torah!
In order to use our time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur wisely, we need to understand what tshuvah (repentance) is.

Many people believe that tshuvah is when a person decides that he needs to stop speaking loshon horah, or come to davening on time, or learn more, or this or that. After this decision, he makes a plan for himself to stop speaking loshon horah, for example, and he follows through with this plan. Or take a person who decides to keep Shabbos. So, he starts keeping Shabbos. Therefore, these people can say that they did tshuvah.

Not exactly.

Says Rav Pincus, “A person who sinned might think that tshuvah simply means regretting his actions – because uprooting the will behind the action is considered like uprooting the action itself – and then purifying himself by feeling grief over the sin. He may imagine that he is thereby rectifying the sin and making himself anew. But he is absolutely wrong! There is no such thing; that is not how it works at all. Only Hashem Himself can rectify a sin. This is written in many places: ‘If Hashem will cleanse the filth of the daughter of Tzion’ (Yeshayahu 4:4) and ‘He will have mercy on us again, He will cover over our iniquities. You will cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.’ (Micha 7:19)

“All these are Hashem’s doing. The atonement for sin, of wiping away iniquity, is in Hashem’s hands alone. In order to ‘do tshuvah’ it is not enough to refrain from future sin, feel regret for the past, and recite vidui over it. Practicing all the principles of tshuvah will not cleanse away the sins. Rather, tshuvah means returning to Hashem, ‘Seek out Hashem when He is to be found.’ (Yeshayahu 55:6) We need to search for Him and go back to Him. THIS is the meaning of tshuvah.”

We are so used to the mindset of, “if I change my ways; that is called ‘tshuvah,’” that we forget what the sin does to us. It leaves a stain on the soul. While we have the ability to wash our clothes, we don’t have the ability to wash our souls. This is where Hashem comes in, only He has the power to do that.

So, what does this mean practically? It means that we DO follow through the plan that we know. We have regret, we recite vidui, we refrain from future sin. We do all that AND, most importantly, we asked Hashem to help us and to clean away the stain of sin. Tshuvah is not simply “doing mitzvos better,” it’s forming a close bond between ourselves and Hashem. If we improve our character traits, that’s good, but that’s not forming a relationship with Hashem. If we improve our character traits AND we ask Hashem to help us, THEN we are forming a relationship with Him.

I hope this enlightened you as much as it enlightened me. May we merit this Yom Kippur to do proper tshuvah.

Michael Winner

I had a good laugh at one of our meals on Shabbos. Much to my wife’s annoyance, there are certain foods that have taken on names which she doesn’t approve of. For example, ONCE, when Rochel Leah was two, I made her scrambled eggs. Ever since then, she (and now the rest of the family) calls scrambled eggs “Abba Eggies.” Again, I made them ONCE, compared to my wife who makes them ALL THE TIME. Yet, I have the honor of having them named after me.

Another time happened several months ago, when my wife bought these weird “vegetarian steaks” for the kids for Shabbos. As they stared at what was in front of them, they asked, “What ARE these?” to which I answered, “snake steaks!” to which Chaim responded with, “WOW!” which in turn led to all the “snake steaks” being devoured. And “snake steaks” have been a regular request ever since.

This Shabbos, my wife served a brown, noodle-salad-thingy. Those of you who did not grow up with many friends would recognize this dish as “gagh,” or “serpent worms,” a Klingon cuisine (best served live). Simcha was pointing towards it and crying “want it.” I asked him if he wanted any “gagh” to which he nodded his head. After eating a few bites, he turned to my wife and said, “blah, blah, blah, gagh, blah, blah, blah”

I really feel sorry for her.

Okay, on to Torah!
I recently heard a talk that was centered around Rav Yitzchak Blazer’s writings of tshuvah (repentance). In it, he brought a Gemara which told over the following story. Once, a few hours before Yom Kippur, Rav (one of the leaders of the Jewish community in Babylonia) was heading toward the marketplace. It seems that at some point earlier a local butcher offended Rav and never asked Rav for forgiveness. Therefore, Rav decided to go to him . . . perhaps if he walked by the butcher, it being right before Yom Kippur, the butcher will realize what he did and ask Rav for forgiveness.

On the way there, he met with Rav Hunah, who asked him, “Where are you going?”

Rav replied, “To the marketplace. There is a certain butcher who needs to ask me for forgiveness. Perhaps he will see me and then ask . . .”

Rav Hunah replied, “You are going to kill the butcher!”

Rav continued to the marketplace and went before the butcher. At that moment, the butcher was chopping the head of an animal and yelled, “Rav! Go away! I have nothing to say to you!” At that moment, a bone flew from the animal he was chopping and stabbed him in the throat, killing him.

Rav Blazer noted that had Rav not gone in front of the butcher, the butcher would not have died. Yes, he would have had this sin on his head, which in itself is terrible, but perhaps the judgment would not have been so severe. However, now that Rav was standing right in front of him, and he had this unique and easy opportunity to ask for forgiveness, which he threw to the floor . . . now the judgment is stricter.

Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are connected with the “Days of Repentance.” It is a time we focus on repentance and is a unique time where Hashem “puts Himself in front of us” and is “extra willing” to grant forgiveness for those who are sincere. If we use it wisely, we are gaining a great deal, and if we don’t, we stand to lose more.

My Rosh Yeshivah, Rav Asher Rubenstein, gave his “Four Easy Steps to Tshuvah” . . . it’s worth getting a hold of, if you can. In his talk, he explains that tshuvah is far easier than people think.

Basically, a person needs two plans to present to Hashem. A long-term plan (what type of person do I want to be near the end of my life) and a short-term plan (who do I want to be next year at this time). Of course, Hashem can say, “Plans are all nice . . . you had a few last year as well, no?”

At this point, you need to give a “down-payment.” What is this down payment? A small amount of real tshuvah, for right now. And what is this small amount of tshuvah? His example is as follows:

Suppose you have two boys in yeshivah who are sharing a dorm room. One of them brings in a whole stack of extremely inappropriate reading material, and the other boy happens to have an addiction to such material. Naturally, this boy starts going through the books, and finds a few books written by an author, whom even he cannot stand . . . but . . . it's still reading, so he reads even that.

What is a down payment for such a person?

To make it his goal not to take the books written by this particular author.

That’s it!

Yes, it’s best to refrain from all of those books, and it should be his goal; but for now, his down payment is not to read from the author he cannot stand.

What’s the logic behind this?

It’s simple.

There are two types of sins. One is a sin which is very hard for a person to overcome. Another is a sin which is very easy for him to overcome. The punishment for the easy-to-overcome sin is far greater than that of the hard-to-overcome sin. Why? Because Hashem understands that you had a hard time overcoming a certain temptation. Fine. It’s understandable. But not to overcome an easy temptation? That’s showing Hashem you don’t really care.

By taking the easy sin (which is worth more), and giving it as a down payment, you are showing Hashem that you really DO care, and that this is only a beginning.

May we use these next few days working hard on our down payments.

Before the main part of davening started over Rosh Hashanah, I gave thought to somebody I know who’s fighting cancer. Every avenue of potential treatment has been closed to him, save one, an experimental drug that he just started. I thought to myself, “Boy… this must be a really meaningful and personal Rosh Hashanah for him this year”. Then, my thoughts wandered to somebody who lived in my neighborhood a few years back. He was involved in a car accident, where he survived, but his expecting wife and two children were killed.

Imagine. Your entire family wiped out in a split second.

You don’t need to be fighting a disease to feel the importance of these days, because anything can happen at any time. In reality, we are all in the same boat. Some people have, unfortunately, a little more of an extra reminder, but we are all standing before Hashem asking for a healthy year, and the books are open with ALL of our names.

May we all use this Yom Kippur in a way that will bring forth a healthy new year.

(Frum.org will be taking its Annual Sukkos vacation, and will return after Simchas Torah. Have a wonderful Sukkos!)

I recently picked up my esrog for Sukkos. Every year, I want to go out on my own and find the esrog that I like the most. However, I'm not well versed in what makes an esrog kosher or not, so I don’t want to take any risks. Instead, the yeshiva buys esrogim, checks them to make sure they are all right, and we get to choose from there.

An interesting note about esrogim. If you get a yellow one, it's a good thing because it's fully ripened. So you won't find any additional blemishes that could make it not kosher by the time Sukkos comes around. However, you have to be more careful handling it, since it bruises more easily.

A green esrog does not bruise so easily, so you can handle it more. However, it's still ripening, so you're taking a small risk.

Many people pick out their esrogim based off of how it looks, its shape, the least amount of blemishes, etc. My criterion is simple: I want something big enough that if I throw it at a person's head, it will really hurt. Needless to say, my esrogim over the years have been on the larger side.

Okay, on to Torah!
"If a person truly wants to achieve spiritual goals, he is guaranteed the help he needs to attain them. The question each person must ask himself is, 'How sincere are my professed intentions?'" –Rav Moshe Aharon Stern

Many times we try to lay blame for our failures on other people. It's a naturally tendency to do so. We try to blame our upbringing, our education, or friends, spouses, children, etc. But in reality, we have nobody to blame but ourselves.

The Gemara (Makkos 10b) cites several different examples of how a person chooses his own destiny. We see in the case of Bilaam when he wanted to go with Balak's officers to curse the Jewish people, Hashem told him not to go. Only the after the second time when Hashem saw that Bilaam really wanted to go, did He give him permission.

The Gemara continues and states, "If a person joins up with scoffers, he will scoff, and to people who are humble, Hashem gives favour"

Rav Moshe Aharon Stern uses these examples as proofs that "a person is led on the way upon which he wants to go". If a person really wants something and he does not succeed, "it is a sign that he never really wanted to go on that path from the start".

Rav Stern continues, "As we have said, if one wishes to follow a certain path, he receives Heavenly guidance along that path. If he does not receive this Heavenly assistance, it is a sign that he did not really want to travel that way from the beginning. We have, in effect, just created a 'new' outlook on life: If I do not succeed in something, nobody is at fault but Me, Me, and Me."

The Gemara (Yoma 38b) says, "In this world, a person has free will to choose the road upon which he wishes to travel. As it says, 'See, I am putting before you today the life and the good, and the death and the bad... The life and the death I have placed before you, the blessing and the curse, and you shall choose life' (Devarim 30:15-19). If one comes to become impure they open the door for him; for one who comes to purify himself, they help him"

If one wishes to follow a path which is not inline with the Torah, Hashem will allow him. However, if a person truly wishes to make real changes in his life, Hashem will not only open to door, but will even help him on his way.

May we all use this Yom Kippur to focus on making meaningful changes in life, and may we all merit assistance from Heaven to reach our goals.

Have an easy and meaningful Shabbos/Yom Kippur.

This dvar torah is from Rav Lazer Brody. I could not have put it better. I wish you all an easy and meaningful Yom Kippur!
King Solomon, the wisest of all men said (Proverbs 19:3), "A person's foolishness corrupts his way, and then his heart rages at Hashem." In other words, people break Hashem's commandments, which are designed for their own mental, spiritual, and emotional welfare, and then blame Hashem for their troubles.

The Melitzer Rebbe shlit'a, with his razor-sharp wit and uncanny insight, defines a fool as someone who murders his own father and then asks mercy from the court because he's an orphan.

In the remaining hours before Yom Kippur, our holy Day of Atonement, we need to spend a few moments alone with ourselves for some candid soul-searching. Most of our difficulties in life can be traced to a breach in our relationship with G-d. We fail to do Hashem's will as prescribed by Jewish Law. We look for comfort-zone religion, paying more attention to our inane desires and appetites rather than the needs of our soul. We compromise on the Torah's commandments, and then foul up. Similar to the fool described by King Solomon and the Melitzer Rebbe, we botch things up and then ask for mercy.

Now, understand what an infinitely compassionate and merciful Father in Heaven we have. Even though our own transgressions against Him get us into trouble, whenever we call out His name from deep down inside, he bails us out of the fire. I've seen it time and time again.

On Yom Kippur, there are plenty of opportunities to call out to Hashem in your own words; you can do it between the "Al Chet" confessions, or at the end of one of the silent prayers. You can also close your eyes, talk to Hashem, or cry your eyes out during the Reader's repetition of Shacharis or Mussaf.

Don't be ashamed to let the tears flow. In the Melitzer shul here in Ashdod, everything goes - there are places in the davening where we jump for joy, and places where the tears flow - that's what Yom Kippur's all about. From one standpoint, we regret our foolish deeds; from the other standpoint, we rejoice that we have such a fantastic Tattie in Himmel (Father in Heaven) to make penitence to, and Who always forgives us.

Have an easy fast, and may The Almighty sign you and your loved ones in the Book of Long and Happy Life for a wonderful New Year 5766.

-Rav Lazer Brody
http://www.lazerbrody.com

This Dvar Torah has been rated PG-13 due to Adult Content.

In case you haven’t noticed, Yom Kippur begins Shabbos night. I was commiserating with a taxi driver (in Hebrew too!) about the fact that this week, Shabbos seems to be ‘cancelled’ out (i.e. no chicken soup). I was, however, informed by a friend of mine that it simply means that this year’s Yom Kippur will have double the holiness to it.

I thought we would continue with a little more Rabbi Frand, since many seemed to enjoy the Rosh Hashanah dvar torah.

If you want one proof in the world that shows signs that society is decaying, take a look at our judicial system. A couple of years ago, four teenagers sued McDonalds for making them fat. Yes, they know that they were eating super-deluxe burgers EVERY SINGLE DAY, but nonetheless, they felt that McDonald’s was the one who should pay. Cigarette companies are continuously being sued by people who knew up front that it was dangerous for them to smoke, even before they started smoking! I would not be surprised to see law suits against coffee and soft drink manufacturers for using caffeine. Unfortunately, we live in an age of “it’s somebody else’s fault”.

There is a famous story in the Gemara (Avodah Zarah 17a) of Elazar ben Dordaya, who had…shall we say…a love for women. He visited every harlot around and used most of his income for his pursuits. Once he heard of ‘lady’ who charged a fortune for her services. So, he saved up his money, took the journey and finally reached her. Before said services took place, she remarked that his immorality was so deep and disgusting that he would never be able to do proper tshuva (repentance), and leave its clutches.

Elazar was devastated. He ran away from her and longed to return to Hashem. Due to the low level that he was in, he felt completely unprepared and unworthy to do proper tshuva. Instead, he cried out to the sun and the moon, the stars and the constellations, from the heavens and the earth, and from the mountains and hills; begging them to intercede on his behalf and help him. Why did he seek help from such intermediaries? The stars and the constellations, because they are permanent, represent our natural talents. They refused to help to show that our natural talents do not control us or our behaviors. The mountains (harim) represent our parents (horim). They refused to intercede to show us that we cannot blame our parents for our behavior. Finally, the heavens and earth, which represent our environment, refused to help in order to teach us that our environment does not control our behavior.

Finally, left all alone, Elazar be Dordaya realized that only he was responsible for his previous behavior. He put his head between his knees and cried so hard, his soul left him. At that point in time, a heavenly voice came down and announced, “Rabbi Elazar ben Dordaya has been accepted for eternal life!”

When Rebbi Yehuda HaNasi (the compiler of today’s Mishnayos) heard of this incident, he cried and said, “Some attain the World to Come in a lifetime, and some in a moment”. Not only did Elazar attain complete tshuva, but he also attained the title “Rabbi”.

The lesson is two-fold. The obvious lesson is that of the power of tshuva. No matter how low a person goes, he can always turn himself around and raise himself to a standing he never would have thought possible. All he needs is the willpower and the strength to pull himself up.

The second is that of responsibility. As mentioned previously, we live in a world where blame can be placed everywhere else. I’m sure many of you have heard the cry of people saying that instead of killing terrorists, we need to feel how they feel and see what makes them work. Instead of putting the blame on the terrorists themselves, they try to find other things (i.e. the US and Israel) to pin the blame on.

The Torah does not view life in that way. While a person’s environment, parents, and inherent talents make up who a person is, ONLY he can control what his behavior is. The first step is tshuva is to recognize the true source of one’s poor behavior: himself. After acknowledging this fact, a person can achieve unlimited heights. With that in mind, I hope everybody has an easy and meaningful Yom Kippur.

As we ALL know, when the Jews were to go to battle, half of them fought (the physical war), while the other half learned (the spiritual war). Since we have rules and regulations on who can operate heavy firepower, people like me are unable to form a regiment and kill lots of people. Which is REALLY too bad. So that leaves us with fighting in the spiritual war. Many people would say, we need to learn more Torah. I'm not going to say that, since I'm not convinced that alone is the answer. I believe we need to LIVE more Torah. What did these terrorists do that we can learn from? They we willing to sacrifice their lives for G-d. Granted it's perverted thinking on their part, but amazing nonetheless. The question is, are we willing to LIVE our lives for G-d? Are we able to learn more? Are we able to work on our davening? Are we able to work on what we allow our eyes to see or our ears to hear? Are we willing to "sacrifice" ourselves for G-d? Are we willing to put in our full strengths to grow? The terrorists did and still are willing to give up everything for Allah. As sick and as perverted as they are, that is an aspect which we MUST respect! Again though, are we willing to show Hashem that we can work as much? I think this should possibly our focus in the next few days before Yom Kippur, and hopefully this mindset will help us become closer to Hashem.

"You are all standing here today, before the L-rd your G-d, your heads, your tribes, your elders, and your officers, every Jewish man, your children, your women, the outsider who is in your camp, from your woodcutter to your water-drawer" (Devarim 29:9-10)

Here we have a listing of ten different groups of people who represent the Jewish nation as a whole. In the Yom Kippur service, the Kohen Gadol took a shovel-full of incense and placed it in the Kodesh Kadashim (the holies part of the Beis HaMikdash), and it would cloud the entire room. The incense contained eleven spices, ten that had a pleasant smell, and one that had a foul smell. The ten pleasant spices represents the ten types of people mentioned above, and the one foul spice represents those who are the troublemakers of the Jewish people.

The spices were pounded together to make the incense used on Yom Kippur. Each individual spice had its particular odor nullified in order to create the incense. Shem MiShmuel write that this shows us that we ourselves must learn to nullify our egos and our wills for the greater good. Only by nullifying those aspects of our personality can the eleventh, foul spice be added, without having a negative affect on the whole. When we work on ourselves to truly become servants of Hashem, and all strive for that same goal, then negative outside influences will not have an affect on us. But if there is no unity among us, those negative influences will be able to seep through the cracks and reign destruction on the Jewish people.

The Talmud says, "He [the spice-maker] would return [the spices] to the mortar on the day before Yom Kippur and grind them thoroughly so that the compound would be extremely fine."

This symbolizes the "grinding" our personalities need, especially before Yom Kippur. It's arrogance and thinking of our greatness which leads to disunity. If we began to realize that we are not better than the person next door, than we would have a far better chance of achieving this unity. We should all try over the next few days to route out the pride and self-interest we constantly portray, to nullify our self-indulgence, and to become one with all of Israel. And through this we can merit true tshuva.