Yom Kippur

During this period between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, many go around and not only try to work on their mitzvos between them and Hashem, but also between them and others.  Many, for example, call up friends and ask for forgiveness for things that they might have said or done that have hurt them.  My wife, who is clearly on a very high spiritual level, did some deep thinking to see what she could have done to her friends that might have caused them pain.  It took her a while, but then she realized there was one underlying issue that probably caused considerable pain to others.

So, she began to call her friends to ask for their forgiveness.  She realized that she is so perfect, and her relationship with her husband is so perfect, and all of her children are so perfect, that this perfection most certainly caused others pain when they compared their miserable existence to hers.

It's nice when you receive signs that you married the right person.

Now, I don't remember if I spoke about this in the past.  If I did … well, too bad.

Rav Reuven Leuchter gives some excellent, and off-the-beaten-path advice on how to successfully do teshuva.  Unfortunately, I have to super-duper condense what he says, but the advice is applicable across the board and based on the teachings of Rav Yisroel Salant.

The Gemara (Menachos 29b) writes:

"Why was this world created with the letter 'hei'?  Because a hei resembles a pavilion [it is open at the bottom], in order that anyone who wants to leave, can leave.  And what is the reason the left leg of the hei is suspended [a space is left between the leg and the roof]?  So that if he returns in teshuva they can bring him back through that upper opening.  But let them bring him back through the same, lower opening [which he left]?  This will not happen … If one comes to purify himself, he is given assistance from Above.  But if one comes to defile himself, an opening is provided for him."

So, "simply put"….

Anybody here try dieting?  Yeah, it's not fun.  Not easy.  And most likely, not successful.  Why?  You're waging a frontal assault against basic human needs and cravings.  And as any general will tell you, a frontal assault against a well-entrenched enemy will get you dead.

This is why when somebody wants to do teshuva, he cannot return through the same opening from which he left.  He will be fighting a battle that he is destined to lose.  Therefore, he needs to go around and strike from above, in the upper opening of the hei.

But what exactly does that mean?

[Again, I'm super condensing this.]

Our spiritual nature is composed of three parts.  The highest level is the neshama.  It deals with thought.  Next is the ruach, which deals with speech.  Learning Torah and davening, falls into this area.  The next, and lowest, is the nefesh, which deals with action.

As we mentioned, we cannot do teshuva on the same level as the aveira.  We need to "strike from above."  So, if we do an aveira on the nefesh level, which most (if not all?) of our avreiros are done, we need to do teshuva via the ruach level, via learning Torah and davening.  When we correct or strengthen the ruach, the lower level, the nefesh will be affected.

Simply put, instead of attacking a behavior with an "anti-behavior," we should work on the higher will which controls that behavior.

For example, let's say somebody has a problem with eating.  He either can't control himself when he eats, he doesn't say brachos or doesn't say them properly.  Instead of trying to control that behavior, which barely works, attack from a different end.  Take time out and learn the laws of brachos.  Learn about the importance of brachos (both before and after eating).  Learn the power of what they do and why we say them.  Learn about the importance of keeping control over one's desires.

By learning about the importance, the laws, and the effects of brachos (for example), over time, and possibly a short time, it will affect your behavior.

Don't focus on the behavior, that's where the enemy is waiting for you.  Instead, focus on the will that controls the behavior.  It's much easier to do, to maintain, and in the end, it will trickle down and affect the behavior itself.

We have always thought, "All I need to do is change my behavior, and then my teshuva is complete."  And we think that every single year, because every single year we fail with this very "simple" goal.

But this year we have a wonderful suggestion from Rav Leuchter.

Don't focus on the behavior.  Focus on the will.  It's much easier to do, and will have a longer lasting impact on your life.

Have an easy and meaningful Yom Kippur.

If anybody wishes to contact me, right now via the website is not the best place, since it doesn't collect your email address.  You can simply write to this address.  And Yonaton... you're welcome!

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I feel that over the past year, practically every three days, there's something new to report.  It's hard to keep up.

We went into Rosh Hashana with a 181 Ballistic Missile Salute from Iran.  The closest target for us was 20 km away, so we got to watch a lot of the attack from our homes, not having to stay in our "safe hallway."  It was an amazing show to watch.  And in the end, how many did they kill? One Palestinian.  And for those who saw the clip on how he got killed … well, Hashem was VERY specific on that one.  We also learn, when crossing the streets in Israel, it's very important to first look left, then right, then up.

Then we welcomed Rosh Hashana itself with an attack.  One on the first day, one on the second, and two on Shabbos (zachor v'shamor?).  Since then, our town has had daily or twice-daily attacks (we've had two today and it's not yet 1pm), including direct hits and damage from the intercepts.  We have around 15 seconds from the siren beginning to getting to a safe(r) space.  It makes life exciting, and between you and me, there's something about being part of things rather than watching from the sidelines.  However, not everybody likes that, and many families have moved in with other family members closer to the center of the country.  In response to that, my 14-year-old daughter and I want to raise a Jolly Rogers flag over our home.

What's really strange is, unless you've gone through it, you have no clue what it's like.  Even friends of ours in Yerushaliyim are "out of it" a little, not comprehending this type of life now.  Obviously, it's not combat, nowhere close to it.  It's not like we are living in shelters all day or getting attacked by anti-tank missiles.  Yet, it IS real and you really need to plan on where to go and move when the sirens run.

My wife, being holy and stuff, said that we need to do something more about these attacks.  What we witnessed with our own eyes, for the second time in a year, was a complete miracle.  Two major Iranian attacks.  Not one Jewish hair was touched!  And even now, we witness with our own eyes, attacks around us and on us, on a daily basis, and still … the Iron Dome is functioning with unbelievable accuracy, and even when it doesn't, the casualty rates are incredibly low.  Even my very non-religious neighbor (who worked in the defense industry and still has connections to it) said to me, "Statistically speaking, what we have been witnessing is impossible."  So, we made up a new rule in the family.  Every time we are attacked (and when we see one close by), each member of the family will say "Mizmor l'Todah" (Tehillim 100), thanking Hashem for His kindness.

Of course, my 16-year-old complained, "If we do that, then Hashem might protect us more and we won't have any attacks!  I still want to be part of some 'action'!"

As a man, I understand him completely.

So, the next day, Hashem "rewarded" my son with a 26-rocket barrage right over our heads.

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The past year, for the entire Jewish world, has been a tough one.  It's been hard to focus on spiritual growth, because everybody is in "yellow alert" mode on a constant basis, both in Eretz Yisroel and in America/Europe.  For us personally, the past month has been especially taxing, mentally and physically.  So, many of us are going into Rosh Hashana/Yom Kippur not prepared.  Who's had the time or the headspace?

Over the fast on Sunday, I was listening to a talk delivered by my Rosh Yeshivah several years ago.  He said something which my immediate reaction was one of annoyance.  He said that "we are all victims."  I never liked the word "victim," and I think people love to use it to justify anything, especially their own weaknesses that they do not want to confront.  However, when he spoke these words many years ago, it was before victimhood became a real thing.

He explained that Hashem put us all into this world, in this particular time, with these particular situations.  He compared it to a father bathing his teenager son, putting on all sorts of perfumes, dressing him in the flashiest clothes, giving him tons of money, and dropping him off in the "red-light" district.  And to nobody's surprise, he ends up sinning.

At the same time, we have to understand that each of us was put in this world to succeed.  If each one of us did not have the possibility of success, He would not have sent us here in the first place.

When Hashem created man, he created a Neshama and a horse.  Each Neshama would receive their own personal horse to use in order to get around in this world and to do mitzvos with it.  Originally, this horse was a separate entity.  The Neshama told the horse what to do and the horse did it.  And if the horse had different desires, too bad for the horse!  However, when Adam ate from the Tree of Knowledge, the Neshama and the horse became bonded together even more.  Desires became mixed up, and it became a lot less clear what the horse wanted and what the Neshama wanted.  And that's how things became difficult for mankind.

If we can go into Yom Kippur, we can actually plead "guilty by association."  We can say, "I don't want to do this and that.  I don't want to have these types of thoughts.  I want to grow in a certain way and direction.  But my horse simply won't listen!"  If we, our Neshama, can at least recognize that there is a difference between what's right (Torah and Mitzvos) and what's wrong (sin), even if we are still steeped in sin, we are still showing "The Court" that we are really good people who still desire to do what's right, despite having to carry a horse on our backs.  And even if we continue to do the same sins over and over again, if we continue to feel pained by it, eventually the horse itself will feel the pain and will move away from the sin.

He quoted the Chofetz Chaim who said that he knows that even after people will learn his sefer on loshon horah, they will continue to speak loshon horah.  However, at least now they will understand how bad it is, and when they do speak loshon horah, they will feel bad about it.  And THAT, will lessen the actual sin.

The Rosh Yeshiva suggested that each person takes out some time before Yom Kippur to write a list of things that they wish to rid themselves of, yet are having trouble doing so.  And then, on Yom Kippur itself, right before Vidui, say all the things that you (or your horse) is doing wrong, and say, "This is a sin.  My Neshama doesn't want it.  I have an addiction to it.  I want to get rid of the sin.  I want to get rid of the guilt…" And with this, you have the merit to ask for forgiveness, even knowing that you are still addicted to such things and will most likely repeat them.

Even on that level, there is a point of teshuva, which could carry a person through Yom Kippur.

With that, I hope that we all use the next few days to try to drum up some strength to do teshuva in some way, and that Yom Kippur should seal a successful year for each one of us and for the Jewish nation as a whole.

Our Rosh Hashanah started off "well" when a few hours before it began, we learned that my nine-year-old has Corona, the first of the family.  This, in turn, put him and two of his [unvaccinated] siblings into quarantine for 10 days.  So, they've been stuck at home going crazy.  Then we learned today that my six-year-old now has it, but still not his sister, which means those two are stuck at home for another 10 days.  My poor wife (I find excuses to leave).

Thankfully, children handle Corona well, so it's not a big deal.  My nine-year-old had a fever for two days and we didn't even notice anything with the six-year-old.  The good news is, the religious schools are no longer putting the entire class into quarantine as well, so at least the rest of the kids get to continue to learn (the government is thinking of following such rules).  Being that the vaccine is out for all who want it, and it shows that it works, and kids are not at risk, I'm happy that they are able to continue to live as normally as possible.  I saw quickly a headline in one of the papers that said, "The Health Ministry has found that 30 percent of children with COVID, have suffered and fallen behind, yet they are not sure if it's from COVID itself, or war, or terrorism, or being kept at home and not going to school."  I love that line.

Other than that, Rosh Hashanah was nice, and we're looking forward to Sukkos, and more importantly, after Sukkos, when EVERYBODY FINALLY goes back to school.

In the meantime, a special thank you to Moishe Murray for sponsoring the hosting of Frum.org for the next year and a half.  Being the hosting of the code that keeps the dvrei Torah online and sends it out every week is in his merit!

Rabbeinu Yona writes, "Delaying repentance is found only among the ignorant, who are fast asleep and do not take their situation to heart, they lack the intelligence and insight to quickly save their souls.  Some of them are removed from Hashem; they do not believe that the consequences of sin is punishment. [In contrast to this] the Gemara (Berachos 19a) says, 'If you see a talmid chacham who committed a sin at night, do not harbor thoughts against him by day, for surely he has repented.'"

Rav Shimshon Pincus learns something interesting from this.  If a talmid chacham is somebody who does tshuva immediately, then a person who does not, is considered an am haaretz and ignoramus.  Usually, when we hear the term "am haaretz" we think of somebody who does not learn or know Torah.  However, from here we see that even a person who sits and learns and knows a lot of Torah can be called an am haaretz if he does not do tshuva as soon as he can.  That seems pretty heavy!  Why is that?

Because the difference between a real talmid chacham and a real am haaretz is not so much on how much Torah they know, but rather it's based on their relationship with the Torah and Hashem Himself.

When a person sins, whether willfully or not, he distances himself from Hashem.  When a person does a mitzvah, and certainly the mitzvah of tshuvah, he moves closer to Hashem.  So even if a person knows the Torah backwards and forwards, if he sins and puts off or refuses to do tshuvah, he is in essence saying "What do I care if I'm close to Hashem or not?"  How could such a person be called a talmid chacham?

When we learn Torah, our goal is not simply to acquire knowledge.  Rather it is to use that knowledge to perfect our mitzvos and perfect ourselves to move closer to Hashem.  So, even if a person is not so well versed in the Torah, it's possible that such a person, as long as he is moving in the right direction, could be called a talmid chacham.  While the person who knows it all, but is not so interested in a relationship with Hashem, is called an am haaretz.

 With this mindset, we can properly go into Yom Kippur that will change us for the upcoming year.

“But the goat on which the lot fell for Azazel shall be presented alive before the Lord to make atonement over it, that it may be sent away into the wilderness to Azazel” (Vayikra 6:10).


During the Yom Kippur service, a goat is sent to “Azazel,” to “carry” our sins and to be thrown off the mountain.  The Pirkey DeRebbe Eliezer says that this sacrifice is going to the Satan/Yetzer Horah himself.

I’ll be honest, I heard this years ago, and could never wrap my head around it.  We don’t go offering sacrifices to the Yetzer Horah.  So, how could something like this be?

I recently heard a talk from Rav Yitzchok Berkowitz, which actually touched on this issue.

Yom Kippur is a time, as we know, that we ask for forgiveness for all of our sins.  But what does that mean?  Do we need to sit down and think of all the sins that we did over the past year?  No.

But, we do need to go over some of them and see what the root of the sins were.

For example, if somebody over the past year was doing things on Shabbos which were not allowed, and over the course of the year, he heard from here and there, what he was doing was forbidden on Shabbos.

Does he need to do tshuva for each and every sin?  No!  But he DOES need to do tshuva for not knowing or at least attempting to know the halachos of Shabbos.  The action of the sin is not the sin itself.  The sin itself is what is underneath—the cause of the action.  When we sin, okay, we sin.  That’s fine.  But what CAUSED the sin to occur?

How do we find our own personal, spiritual, weak spots?   Only by analyzing our sins (the actions) and learning what the root cause is.  THEN, by doing tshuva on the root cause, those actions that were originally sins are turned to mitzvos.

Why?  By using those sins, you were able to see a blemish in yourself, which in turn caused you to fix said blemish.  Therefore, those sins actually helped you improve yourself!  Hence, they are now regarded as "credit points"!

Now, back to our original question: Why are we sending a sacrifice to Azazel?

Rav Berkowitz explains that this is a "thank you card" to the Yetzer Horah.  We actually thank him for "giving us" the opportunity to sin.  That sin, in turn, was used to analyze ourselves, and repair our own blemishes.  So, thanks to the Yetzer Horah we were able to become better Jews.

With that, I wish you all a great Shabbos and a successful Yom Kippur!


Michael Winner

I just got back from my “Mikvah Run” and had the opportunity to listen to Rav Shlomo Brevda.  He told over an interesting story that I don’t remember hearing before.  A few hundred years ago, the Vilna Gaon called over his main disciple, Rav Chaim Volozhin, and told him to go to his brother with a message.  “Tell him that in a few days, he will be visited by a malach (angel), who will reveal to him secrets of the Torah.  Tell him not to accept this malach and not to see him."

Rav Chaim Volozhin was a bit taken back.  After all, it’s not every day, and certainly not everyone, that receives such a visit!  He asked the Vilna Gaon for his reasoning.  After all, didn’t the Beis Yosef (author of the Shulchan Oruch) regularly receive visits from a malach?  The Vilna Gaon cited two differences.  The first was that the Beis Yosef lived several hundred years earlier, where there was a lot less “sin in the air.”  And the second was that the Beis Yosef lived in Eretz Yisroel, where the air has more holiness.

He continued and explained that when a malach comes down to this world, the “klippos” (it’s hard to translate, but let’s just say "specks of impurity") will attach themselves to this malach, and will even come to pervert the malach and its teachings.  Therefore, it would be dangerous to learn from this malach in such an environment.

Rav Brevda took this story to explain the greatness of Bnei Torah.  We are living in a world far more spiritually polluted than that of the Vilna Gaon.  We are living in a world that will take something so spiritually pure and make it impure.  Yet, a Ben Torah takes himself, which is naturally impure and physical, and works on growing in Torah and mitzvos, which in turn purifies himself.

What gives Hashem more "nachas"?  The pure angel that can easily become impure or the impure person who slowly but surely purifies himself?  One should never let himself get depressed over his spiritual station in life.  He should remind himself of what type of world he is living in, and that he has the power to move beyond it, that every step upwards proves that he is greater than a malach itself.

Have a wonderful Shabbos and Yom Kippur!

Michael Winner

Rav Shimshon Pincus asks a very famous question. If it’s true that a person is recreated during the period of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, why is it, immediately after Yom Kippur, we’re stuck doing the same sins, having the same lack of concentration during davening and brachos, etc, etc… as if nothing ever happened?

He begins his answer by quoting the Rambam (Hilchos Shogagim) who writes that if a person does not believe that Yom Kippur cleanses him, then Yom Kippur will not work. However, somebody who believes that Yom Kippur DOES clean his soul from sin, then Yom Kippur does work.

This issue is compared to a person who goes to a doctor with marks and scabs on his skin. The doctor informs him that he is suffering from an internal infection and the marks and scabs are simply the symptoms. The doctor then gives him medication to clear the infection and puts him on a special diet to continue to keep the infection away. After a week or so, the man returns complaining, “Why should I keep up with this hard diet? Look! My skin is still the same! Your medicine didn’t work!”

The doctor replies, “You’re wrong. Your infection is completely clear. Your skin WILL clear up, but it takes a little more time, that’s all. If you give up on your diet, the infection will come back, and not only will your skin not recover, but neither will your body”.

This answers the question.

When we leave Yom Kippur, we need to know that our soul has been cleaned! True, we still have certain sins we still feel a connection to, we still have concentration problems in our davening and brachos… but those are only the lingering effects of the sin, they are not the sin itself! If we continue with our “diet”, if we continue living, for at least throughout Sukkos and to the next month, as if it were still the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we will start to see improvement even in those areas.

The important part is to KNOW, the Yom Kippur does atone for a person. Hashem DOES make us anew and creates us with a clean soul. It’s up to us to know that and to do our best to continue to keep it as clean as we can.

Have a wonderful and meaningful Yom Kippur, Sukkos, and Shmimi Atzeres!

I admit. Like many of you, when growing up, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur were not exactly the highlights of the year. To me, it meant being in shul for a long time, escaping “Junior Congregation,” and hoping everybody would finish up soon so we could finally go home and eat. This mentality has followed me into adulthood, and only up until the past few years have I been able to rid myself of that “natural” feeling.

I remember seeing those small books, “The Survivors Guide to Rosh HaShanah,” and I realized that it could simply be broken down to a few simple things: 1) EDUCATION. The more you know what these days are about and do, the more you appreciate it. 2) Knowing the davening before going into davening. 3) Having a minyan that you feel is right for you.

Over the years, #1 and #2 have improved greatly. I’ve also had several good minyanim, however over the past five years, I’ve attended a special minyan that starts at 5:30 a.m. It’s a 30-minute walk from my house, so I leave at 4:45 a.m., and have an enjoyable walk under the stars. The minyan is comprised of the Rosh Kollel of our kollel, and a nice-sized group of kollel members and some of their children. The davening is led by somebody who is more interested in davening than hearing his voice, and the entire minyan participates. There is no running around or talking. Just davening. We’re done by 11:00 a.m. (with a 15-minute kiddush in between) and you don’t have that feeling that time has been dragging by. Thanks to these three things, I’ve come to have a better appreciation for Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkos, and no long dread their arrival.

Okay, on to Torah!
In order to use our time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur wisely, we need to understand what tshuvah (repentance) is.

Many people believe that tshuvah is when a person decides that he needs to stop speaking loshon horah, or come to davening on time, or learn more, or this or that. After this decision, he makes a plan for himself to stop speaking loshon horah, for example, and he follows through with this plan. Or take a person who decides to keep Shabbos. So, he starts keeping Shabbos. Therefore, these people can say that they did tshuvah.

Not exactly.

Says Rav Pincus, “A person who sinned might think that tshuvah simply means regretting his actions – because uprooting the will behind the action is considered like uprooting the action itself – and then purifying himself by feeling grief over the sin. He may imagine that he is thereby rectifying the sin and making himself anew. But he is absolutely wrong! There is no such thing; that is not how it works at all. Only Hashem Himself can rectify a sin. This is written in many places: ‘If Hashem will cleanse the filth of the daughter of Tzion’ (Yeshayahu 4:4) and ‘He will have mercy on us again, He will cover over our iniquities. You will cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.’ (Micha 7:19)

“All these are Hashem’s doing. The atonement for sin, of wiping away iniquity, is in Hashem’s hands alone. In order to ‘do tshuvah’ it is not enough to refrain from future sin, feel regret for the past, and recite vidui over it. Practicing all the principles of tshuvah will not cleanse away the sins. Rather, tshuvah means returning to Hashem, ‘Seek out Hashem when He is to be found.’ (Yeshayahu 55:6) We need to search for Him and go back to Him. THIS is the meaning of tshuvah.”

We are so used to the mindset of, “if I change my ways; that is called ‘tshuvah,’” that we forget what the sin does to us. It leaves a stain on the soul. While we have the ability to wash our clothes, we don’t have the ability to wash our souls. This is where Hashem comes in, only He has the power to do that.

So, what does this mean practically? It means that we DO follow through the plan that we know. We have regret, we recite vidui, we refrain from future sin. We do all that AND, most importantly, we asked Hashem to help us and to clean away the stain of sin. Tshuvah is not simply “doing mitzvos better,” it’s forming a close bond between ourselves and Hashem. If we improve our character traits, that’s good, but that’s not forming a relationship with Hashem. If we improve our character traits AND we ask Hashem to help us, THEN we are forming a relationship with Him.

I hope this enlightened you as much as it enlightened me. May we merit this Yom Kippur to do proper tshuvah.

Michael Winner

I had a good laugh at one of our meals on Shabbos. Much to my wife’s annoyance, there are certain foods that have taken on names which she doesn’t approve of. For example, ONCE, when Rochel Leah was two, I made her scrambled eggs. Ever since then, she (and now the rest of the family) calls scrambled eggs “Abba Eggies.” Again, I made them ONCE, compared to my wife who makes them ALL THE TIME. Yet, I have the honor of having them named after me.

Another time happened several months ago, when my wife bought these weird “vegetarian steaks” for the kids for Shabbos. As they stared at what was in front of them, they asked, “What ARE these?” to which I answered, “snake steaks!” to which Chaim responded with, “WOW!” which in turn led to all the “snake steaks” being devoured. And “snake steaks” have been a regular request ever since.

This Shabbos, my wife served a brown, noodle-salad-thingy. Those of you who did not grow up with many friends would recognize this dish as “gagh,” or “serpent worms,” a Klingon cuisine (best served live). Simcha was pointing towards it and crying “want it.” I asked him if he wanted any “gagh” to which he nodded his head. After eating a few bites, he turned to my wife and said, “blah, blah, blah, gagh, blah, blah, blah”

I really feel sorry for her.

Okay, on to Torah!
I recently heard a talk that was centered around Rav Yitzchak Blazer’s writings of tshuvah (repentance). In it, he brought a Gemara which told over the following story. Once, a few hours before Yom Kippur, Rav (one of the leaders of the Jewish community in Babylonia) was heading toward the marketplace. It seems that at some point earlier a local butcher offended Rav and never asked Rav for forgiveness. Therefore, Rav decided to go to him . . . perhaps if he walked by the butcher, it being right before Yom Kippur, the butcher will realize what he did and ask Rav for forgiveness.

On the way there, he met with Rav Hunah, who asked him, “Where are you going?”

Rav replied, “To the marketplace. There is a certain butcher who needs to ask me for forgiveness. Perhaps he will see me and then ask . . .”

Rav Hunah replied, “You are going to kill the butcher!”

Rav continued to the marketplace and went before the butcher. At that moment, the butcher was chopping the head of an animal and yelled, “Rav! Go away! I have nothing to say to you!” At that moment, a bone flew from the animal he was chopping and stabbed him in the throat, killing him.

Rav Blazer noted that had Rav not gone in front of the butcher, the butcher would not have died. Yes, he would have had this sin on his head, which in itself is terrible, but perhaps the judgment would not have been so severe. However, now that Rav was standing right in front of him, and he had this unique and easy opportunity to ask for forgiveness, which he threw to the floor . . . now the judgment is stricter.

Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are connected with the “Days of Repentance.” It is a time we focus on repentance and is a unique time where Hashem “puts Himself in front of us” and is “extra willing” to grant forgiveness for those who are sincere. If we use it wisely, we are gaining a great deal, and if we don’t, we stand to lose more.

My Rosh Yeshivah, Rav Asher Rubenstein, gave his “Four Easy Steps to Tshuvah” . . . it’s worth getting a hold of, if you can. In his talk, he explains that tshuvah is far easier than people think.

Basically, a person needs two plans to present to Hashem. A long-term plan (what type of person do I want to be near the end of my life) and a short-term plan (who do I want to be next year at this time). Of course, Hashem can say, “Plans are all nice . . . you had a few last year as well, no?”

At this point, you need to give a “down-payment.” What is this down payment? A small amount of real tshuvah, for right now. And what is this small amount of tshuvah? His example is as follows:

Suppose you have two boys in yeshivah who are sharing a dorm room. One of them brings in a whole stack of extremely inappropriate reading material, and the other boy happens to have an addiction to such material. Naturally, this boy starts going through the books, and finds a few books written by an author, whom even he cannot stand . . . but . . . it's still reading, so he reads even that.

What is a down payment for such a person?

To make it his goal not to take the books written by this particular author.

That’s it!

Yes, it’s best to refrain from all of those books, and it should be his goal; but for now, his down payment is not to read from the author he cannot stand.

What’s the logic behind this?

It’s simple.

There are two types of sins. One is a sin which is very hard for a person to overcome. Another is a sin which is very easy for him to overcome. The punishment for the easy-to-overcome sin is far greater than that of the hard-to-overcome sin. Why? Because Hashem understands that you had a hard time overcoming a certain temptation. Fine. It’s understandable. But not to overcome an easy temptation? That’s showing Hashem you don’t really care.

By taking the easy sin (which is worth more), and giving it as a down payment, you are showing Hashem that you really DO care, and that this is only a beginning.

May we use these next few days working hard on our down payments.

Before the main part of davening started over Rosh Hashanah, I gave thought to somebody I know who’s fighting cancer. Every avenue of potential treatment has been closed to him, save one, an experimental drug that he just started. I thought to myself, “Boy… this must be a really meaningful and personal Rosh Hashanah for him this year”. Then, my thoughts wandered to somebody who lived in my neighborhood a few years back. He was involved in a car accident, where he survived, but his expecting wife and two children were killed.

Imagine. Your entire family wiped out in a split second.

You don’t need to be fighting a disease to feel the importance of these days, because anything can happen at any time. In reality, we are all in the same boat. Some people have, unfortunately, a little more of an extra reminder, but we are all standing before Hashem asking for a healthy year, and the books are open with ALL of our names.

May we all use this Yom Kippur in a way that will bring forth a healthy new year.

(Frum.org will be taking its Annual Sukkos vacation, and will return after Simchas Torah. Have a wonderful Sukkos!)

I recently picked up my esrog for Sukkos. Every year, I want to go out on my own and find the esrog that I like the most. However, I'm not well versed in what makes an esrog kosher or not, so I don’t want to take any risks. Instead, the yeshiva buys esrogim, checks them to make sure they are all right, and we get to choose from there.

An interesting note about esrogim. If you get a yellow one, it's a good thing because it's fully ripened. So you won't find any additional blemishes that could make it not kosher by the time Sukkos comes around. However, you have to be more careful handling it, since it bruises more easily.

A green esrog does not bruise so easily, so you can handle it more. However, it's still ripening, so you're taking a small risk.

Many people pick out their esrogim based off of how it looks, its shape, the least amount of blemishes, etc. My criterion is simple: I want something big enough that if I throw it at a person's head, it will really hurt. Needless to say, my esrogim over the years have been on the larger side.

Okay, on to Torah!
"If a person truly wants to achieve spiritual goals, he is guaranteed the help he needs to attain them. The question each person must ask himself is, 'How sincere are my professed intentions?'" –Rav Moshe Aharon Stern

Many times we try to lay blame for our failures on other people. It's a naturally tendency to do so. We try to blame our upbringing, our education, or friends, spouses, children, etc. But in reality, we have nobody to blame but ourselves.

The Gemara (Makkos 10b) cites several different examples of how a person chooses his own destiny. We see in the case of Bilaam when he wanted to go with Balak's officers to curse the Jewish people, Hashem told him not to go. Only the after the second time when Hashem saw that Bilaam really wanted to go, did He give him permission.

The Gemara continues and states, "If a person joins up with scoffers, he will scoff, and to people who are humble, Hashem gives favour"

Rav Moshe Aharon Stern uses these examples as proofs that "a person is led on the way upon which he wants to go". If a person really wants something and he does not succeed, "it is a sign that he never really wanted to go on that path from the start".

Rav Stern continues, "As we have said, if one wishes to follow a certain path, he receives Heavenly guidance along that path. If he does not receive this Heavenly assistance, it is a sign that he did not really want to travel that way from the beginning. We have, in effect, just created a 'new' outlook on life: If I do not succeed in something, nobody is at fault but Me, Me, and Me."

The Gemara (Yoma 38b) says, "In this world, a person has free will to choose the road upon which he wishes to travel. As it says, 'See, I am putting before you today the life and the good, and the death and the bad... The life and the death I have placed before you, the blessing and the curse, and you shall choose life' (Devarim 30:15-19). If one comes to become impure they open the door for him; for one who comes to purify himself, they help him"

If one wishes to follow a path which is not inline with the Torah, Hashem will allow him. However, if a person truly wishes to make real changes in his life, Hashem will not only open to door, but will even help him on his way.

May we all use this Yom Kippur to focus on making meaningful changes in life, and may we all merit assistance from Heaven to reach our goals.

Have an easy and meaningful Shabbos/Yom Kippur.

This dvar torah is from Rav Lazer Brody. I could not have put it better. I wish you all an easy and meaningful Yom Kippur!
King Solomon, the wisest of all men said (Proverbs 19:3), "A person's foolishness corrupts his way, and then his heart rages at Hashem." In other words, people break Hashem's commandments, which are designed for their own mental, spiritual, and emotional welfare, and then blame Hashem for their troubles.

The Melitzer Rebbe shlit'a, with his razor-sharp wit and uncanny insight, defines a fool as someone who murders his own father and then asks mercy from the court because he's an orphan.

In the remaining hours before Yom Kippur, our holy Day of Atonement, we need to spend a few moments alone with ourselves for some candid soul-searching. Most of our difficulties in life can be traced to a breach in our relationship with G-d. We fail to do Hashem's will as prescribed by Jewish Law. We look for comfort-zone religion, paying more attention to our inane desires and appetites rather than the needs of our soul. We compromise on the Torah's commandments, and then foul up. Similar to the fool described by King Solomon and the Melitzer Rebbe, we botch things up and then ask for mercy.

Now, understand what an infinitely compassionate and merciful Father in Heaven we have. Even though our own transgressions against Him get us into trouble, whenever we call out His name from deep down inside, he bails us out of the fire. I've seen it time and time again.

On Yom Kippur, there are plenty of opportunities to call out to Hashem in your own words; you can do it between the "Al Chet" confessions, or at the end of one of the silent prayers. You can also close your eyes, talk to Hashem, or cry your eyes out during the Reader's repetition of Shacharis or Mussaf.

Don't be ashamed to let the tears flow. In the Melitzer shul here in Ashdod, everything goes - there are places in the davening where we jump for joy, and places where the tears flow - that's what Yom Kippur's all about. From one standpoint, we regret our foolish deeds; from the other standpoint, we rejoice that we have such a fantastic Tattie in Himmel (Father in Heaven) to make penitence to, and Who always forgives us.

Have an easy fast, and may The Almighty sign you and your loved ones in the Book of Long and Happy Life for a wonderful New Year 5766.

-Rav Lazer Brody
http://www.lazerbrody.com

This Dvar Torah has been rated PG-13 due to Adult Content.

In case you haven’t noticed, Yom Kippur begins Shabbos night. I was commiserating with a taxi driver (in Hebrew too!) about the fact that this week, Shabbos seems to be ‘cancelled’ out (i.e. no chicken soup). I was, however, informed by a friend of mine that it simply means that this year’s Yom Kippur will have double the holiness to it.

I thought we would continue with a little more Rabbi Frand, since many seemed to enjoy the Rosh Hashanah dvar torah.

If you want one proof in the world that shows signs that society is decaying, take a look at our judicial system. A couple of years ago, four teenagers sued McDonalds for making them fat. Yes, they know that they were eating super-deluxe burgers EVERY SINGLE DAY, but nonetheless, they felt that McDonald’s was the one who should pay. Cigarette companies are continuously being sued by people who knew up front that it was dangerous for them to smoke, even before they started smoking! I would not be surprised to see law suits against coffee and soft drink manufacturers for using caffeine. Unfortunately, we live in an age of “it’s somebody else’s fault”.

There is a famous story in the Gemara (Avodah Zarah 17a) of Elazar ben Dordaya, who had…shall we say…a love for women. He visited every harlot around and used most of his income for his pursuits. Once he heard of ‘lady’ who charged a fortune for her services. So, he saved up his money, took the journey and finally reached her. Before said services took place, she remarked that his immorality was so deep and disgusting that he would never be able to do proper tshuva (repentance), and leave its clutches.

Elazar was devastated. He ran away from her and longed to return to Hashem. Due to the low level that he was in, he felt completely unprepared and unworthy to do proper tshuva. Instead, he cried out to the sun and the moon, the stars and the constellations, from the heavens and the earth, and from the mountains and hills; begging them to intercede on his behalf and help him. Why did he seek help from such intermediaries? The stars and the constellations, because they are permanent, represent our natural talents. They refused to help to show that our natural talents do not control us or our behaviors. The mountains (harim) represent our parents (horim). They refused to intercede to show us that we cannot blame our parents for our behavior. Finally, the heavens and earth, which represent our environment, refused to help in order to teach us that our environment does not control our behavior.

Finally, left all alone, Elazar be Dordaya realized that only he was responsible for his previous behavior. He put his head between his knees and cried so hard, his soul left him. At that point in time, a heavenly voice came down and announced, “Rabbi Elazar ben Dordaya has been accepted for eternal life!”

When Rebbi Yehuda HaNasi (the compiler of today’s Mishnayos) heard of this incident, he cried and said, “Some attain the World to Come in a lifetime, and some in a moment”. Not only did Elazar attain complete tshuva, but he also attained the title “Rabbi”.

The lesson is two-fold. The obvious lesson is that of the power of tshuva. No matter how low a person goes, he can always turn himself around and raise himself to a standing he never would have thought possible. All he needs is the willpower and the strength to pull himself up.

The second is that of responsibility. As mentioned previously, we live in a world where blame can be placed everywhere else. I’m sure many of you have heard the cry of people saying that instead of killing terrorists, we need to feel how they feel and see what makes them work. Instead of putting the blame on the terrorists themselves, they try to find other things (i.e. the US and Israel) to pin the blame on.

The Torah does not view life in that way. While a person’s environment, parents, and inherent talents make up who a person is, ONLY he can control what his behavior is. The first step is tshuva is to recognize the true source of one’s poor behavior: himself. After acknowledging this fact, a person can achieve unlimited heights. With that in mind, I hope everybody has an easy and meaningful Yom Kippur.