Vayishlach

Last week, we traveled to Ramat Beit Shemesh for the wedding of our good friend's son.

The last wedding that we … attempted … to go to last month, was from somebody here.  We felt that since they have no family, and we have a connection with the boy, it was important to go.  But this case was different.  It wasn't about an obligation to go or not.  We don't have any family here, and it's not easy on many levels.  However, they fill in that role as "honorary cousins."  And while they do have family here, we're treated as honorary cousins as well.

When they made a bar mitzvah several months ago, they made a Shabbos for only their family …  and us (and we were treated no less so by any of them).  When we made a bar mitzvah, not only did they come, but so did his parents (who even gave a few hundred shekels to help pay!).  So, when they make a wedding, we go.  Not out of obligation, but because we are all family.

Unfortunately, because of an accident up ahead, we were sitting in traffic for an extra hour, and we missed the chuppah.  My daughter, travelling separately, got there in time and told them why we weren't there yet, so they wouldn't be hurt.  And then when we arrived, my friend gave me a hug and said, "You know how much I hate inviting you knowing that you would have to travel all this way, but I REALLY appreciate it."  And his son, the boy getting married, was no less praiseworthy in his greeting.

It made the 3-1/2 hour drive worth it.

At the wedding itself, my wife met an old acquaintance.  As they were talking, she asked about my oldest daughter.  "What's with her?" (i.e. when is she getting married).  My wife replied, "not yet, we still have some time," and she immediately replied, "Well, you have nothing to worry about.  You can tell that she's a great girl.  She'll be snatched up in no time!"

And that compliment made my wife's night.  Not that she needed that compliment itself.  But simply because it was given and it was given in such a manner.

We both saw that night how a simple sentence of appreciation or a compliment, can go a very long way.  Something to think about.

Rav Reuven Leuchter gave a talk two weeks ago which had a basis in this week's parsha.

In the episode regarding Yaakov returning to Eretz Yisroel and meeting Eisav for the first time in decades, Rashi notes: "It is halacha that Eisav hates Yaakov."

What is "halacha"? asks Rav Leuchter.  It is something which is non-negotiable.  You cannot argue it, you cannot change it.  And many times, it, at it's core, cannot be explained.

When something is halacha, it's reality and there is nothing you can do to get around or change it.

On Shabbos, we cannot light a fire.  That is halacha.  There are no if, ands, or buts, about it.  It's forbidden.  And of course, there are times where a person can, if not should, light a fire, but those are cases all within the halacha.  Outside of those cases, one cannot light a fire.  This cannot be changed.  It's halacha.

And what is this hatred that Eisav (the Western world) has towards Yaakov (the Jewish nation)?  What is this antisemitism that we are seeing growing day by day?  It's halacha.  It's something that is real, but it is beyond this world, and is something that cannot be changed or explained away.

One would have thought, for example, that this recent ceasefire we have with Hamas should have been welcomed by everybody.  After all, there is a genocide going on, with millions of poor, innocent Palestinians dying every day!  And a ceasefire should be welcomed by the world at large to stop this bloodbath from continuing.  Yet, many out there actually DENOUNCED the ceasefire!  Does this make ANY sense?  Can you imagine the Nazis saying, "Okay, we'll stop killing Jews for a little bit" and the Jews and their supporters yelling, "No!  This is not fair!"??

It makes absolutely no sense.

But it's halacha.  It's beyond this world.

And this is where confusion reigns when we try to deal with it.  People say that we need to pour more money into antisemitism task forces or education or trips to Israel or online media, or who knows what.  According to them, we need to battle this in order to win it.

But there is no winning it.  It's halacha.  It's a reality that cannot be changed.

Yes, there will always be individuals whose eyes will be opened, but the spiritual nature of Eisav, as a whole, is to hate Yaakov.  So, while some individuals will choose right over wrong, the nation of Eisav will continue to have nothing but hatred for us.

The reasoning is unexplainable, as history has repeatedly shown us, but it's there and unchanging.

So, what can we DO about it?

Nothing!  At least nothing in terms of "active combat."

Rav Leuchter recommended that we look at antisemitism for what it is.  It's something whose roots are hidden and cannot be revealed in this world.  Therefore, we need to work on our Judaism in ways which are hidden and are not revealed.

For example.  It's all good when a wealthy grandfather could say that he uses his money to support his children and grandchildren in full-time learning. The reward is immense and he is using his money in a very appropriate way.  But this is something tangible.  It's revealed.  It's in our world.

However, when he sits with his children and grandchildren, listens to their stories, gives advice, offers emotional support, this is not so tangible and not so revealed.

Both are under the title "supporting my children," but one is external and one is internal.

Another example … a little more applicable to us all.

Let's take Shabbos. There are two aspects in keeping Shabbos.  The technical, halachic aspect, which is "is this allowed? Is this not allowed?"  It's very visible.  When we say that somebody keeps Shabbos, we are referring to this aspect. The next is more internal.  It's how we HONOR Shabbos.

I know somebody, for example, who lived in the US and every Shabbos the men would go out to the basketball court, located around the corner from them, to play basketball.  Let's say they were "technically" keeping Shabbos (which they might have been, but I have some reservations about it, and haven't really looked into those reservations).  But, let's pretend and say, "Yeah, they keep Shabbos" and "technically" playing basketball in such a manner was 100 percent allowed within the "technicals" of Shabbos.

But what about HONORING Shabbos?  Is this in line with that inner aspect?

We know that they will come up with some reason on why, but we all know that it's not.

So, even if a person keeps Shabbos 100 percent, there is always room for improvement on the inner aspect of Shabbos.  It could be as simple as spending a few extra dollars on a treat that you would normally not buy for Shabbos.  It could be, while paying, saying "L'Kavod Shabbos."  It could be doing something like setting the table yourself, instead of the having children do it.   All these things don't represent the external, as much as they represent the internal will and desire.

The external is certainly not to be degraded in any way.  We need the external. Perhaps, says Rav Leuchter, the message that we are being given is that we need to work on the internal as well.  Just as the roots of antisemitism is hidden, so too our work to combat it must be in the hidden roots of our souls.

There are many internal aspects which one can work on.  Each person should chose what is appropriate and doable for them as an individual.  This new stage of war against the Jews is against the Jews for simply being Jewish.  Anybody with half a brain knows that "Zionists" equals "Jews," and Jews, no matter where they live, are legitimate targets.  And we all see and understand that this problem is only going to get worse, around the world, and including the United States, before it gets better. Therefore, we need to work on a similar level, by strengthening our inner Jewish selves.

With that, I wish you all a wonderful Shabbos!

Well… what an exciting week.

We started the week with a country called Syria and Hezbollah preparing to reinforce and redeploy.

Now, we no longer have a country called Syria and Hezbollah has had its legs cut out from underneath it.

I couldn't help but think about something I read a year ago about Rav Moshe Sternbuch, head of the Eida HaChareidis in Yerushaliyim.

Before the attack on Simchas Torah, Rav Sternbuch would speak about the dangerous times that we are living in and his fear for the new year.  He would say these things, even at times of simcha, clearly worried and feeling that something is happening.

Shortly after the attack, somebody came to him for a bracha, because he was getting married in a few months time.  Rav Sternbuch replied that there could be a revolution by then.  When asked what he meant by that cryptic response, he said, "A revolution could be a good thing or not a good thing, or first one and then the other."

Well, we just had a revolution.  And the world is treating it as a good thing, which means, we should be wary about "or first one and then the other."

"Esav ran to meet him and embraced him. He flung himself on his neck, and kissed him, and they wept" (Bereishis 33: 4).

The Midrash (Bereishis Rabba 78: 9) writes that when Eisav "flung himself" on Yaakov's neck, he went to bite him, but Hashem turned Yaakov's neck as hard as stone, breaking Eisav's teeth.  And why does the pasuk say "and they wept" (compared to "and he wept")? To teach us that Eisav cried in pain from biting down on this hardened neck, and Yaakov cried in pain from having his neck turning hard as rock.

On this, Rav Shimshon Pincus asks, "If Hashem made a miracle to turn Yaakov's neck into stone, why couldn't He simply have ALSO spared Yaakov that pain?"  After all, if you're making a miracle already, why not simply add on a little and make it better for Yaakov?

He answers that from this Midrash we see that while miracles go beyond nature, Hashem still limits them, so only that which needs to be changed, is changed; that that which does not, does not.

Perhaps we can also learn from this a little extra point.  Many times, especially over this past year, we have seen miracle after miracle.  Yet, those miracles also came with pain and suffering.  It's not a matter of "every miracle comes with a price," but as Rav Pincus says, each miracle we experience is limited to "do it's job" and no more.  Being, "anything more," which could have also been done via a miracle and wasn't, is there for a reason.  On top of that, if "anything more" is not done, there is more room for people to ignore the miracle part and chalk it up to a simple "fluke of nature."

It's important to see that we are surrounded by miracles, especially in times like this.  At the same time, the miracles are constrained in a way, that 1) we can miss them if we're not looking, and 2) because we also need the "non-miracles" in our lives.

May we continue to be able to witness and recognize these miracles instead of crediting governments and individuals for these "natural occurrences."

Have a wonderful and relaxing Shabbos!

One of the hostages released the other night was "Roni."  Roni has become a bit popular in these regions, since he's a "northerner," and his photos are up everywhere.  Roni is 25, with long hair, and if he were American, undoubtedly his number one word would be "Dude …."  I don't know a thing about him, except for that's the impression his photo gives off.

His father was interviewed hours before his release and he confirmed this impression.  He explained that Roni has a "habit" of escaping death, including falling into a manhole and being involved in two car crashes.  And now?  He was wounded and kidnapped to Gaza, and he survived.  The building he was being kept in was bombed by Israel, and he survived.  He used that to escape and wandered around Gaza for four days, with no food, water, or friends, and he survived.  He was captured by innocent Palestinians, who nicely decided not to follow their traditions and lynch him, and he survived.  They clearly innocently turned him over to what they innocently thought were Israeli soldiers (even though they were carrying AK-47s, masked, and wearing green headbands saying "I AM HAMAS"), and he survived.  And then, when only children and their mothers, and older sick women were being released, Roni, the 25 year-old healthy male, was the only one of his gender and age group to be released.

There's something that Roni has going for himself.

"That same night he arose, and taking his two wives, his two maidservants, and his eleven sons, he crossed the ford of the Yabbok" (Bereishis 32: 23).

Rashi, quoting the Midrash, asks, "Where was Yaakov's daughter Dina?" The Midrash answers that he hid her in order that Eisav shouldn't marry her.  Therefore, Yaakov was punished for withholding her from Eisav, for perhaps she could have returned Eisav to the right path.

Rav Chaim Cohen Rappaport asks one of the famous questions on this, why should Yaakov be punished for this?  Who in the world would want their daughter to marry such a wicked person who could have who knows what type of terrible influence on her?  Not only that, but we see clearly in halacha, that he is in the right.

By looking at the words of the Midrash a little closer, we can see what really was Yaakov's motivation.  The Midrash never said that the reason he withheld her was for her own sake.  In fact, Yaakov could be sure that Eisav would not have had a negative effect on her.  Look at Esther.  She married Achashverosh and yet, she never wavered in her Judaism.  Rather, the Midrash says, the reason he withheld her from him was "perhaps she could have returned Eisav to the right path."

Being, Yaakov's hatred for Eisav and his wickedness was so strong, that he didn't even want Eisav to do tshuvah.

A pretty strong statement.  I couldn't have said such a thing myself.

I guess from here we see an additional warning to "hate the sin, and not the sinner."  Or perhaps just the opposite: we want only good (according to the Torah) for those who sin. Even when somebody is so steeped in wickedness, while we must stay away from him and even fight him, he should always hope and daven that they will do a complete teshuvah.

With that, I wish you all a wonderful Shabbos.   

My son, the other night, went to play soccer with a few friends.  When they sat down on a bench, they found underneath something that they figured was drugs, while not knowing exactly what drugs were.  So, naturally, being Israeli with no sense of embarrassment, they called the police (after all, why call your parents?).  The officer on the phone asked a few questions, determined that they were correct, and sent an officer over.  The officer came, asked them a few questions, took their names, explained to them that they were correct, and told them to call again if they see anybody looking for it.

Of course, not long after, somebody came looking for it.

And of course, they called.

The police returned, and as the officer approached, with a hand on his weapon, the suspect took off.

They received a hearty thanks from the police and a great story to tell their friends and family the next day.

It's a good story, but not as good as a friend of mine when he was a kid. He found a whole box full of drugs from a dealer.  He turned it over to his father and the police.  The next week, the dealer, not learning his lesson, placed more drugs in the same place.  My friend and his brother took it and turned it over.  The dealer was found dead in his car two days later, after accidently driving into some bullets that were minding their own business.

That was my friend's contribution to the war on drugs.

Okay, on to Torah!

This week, a thought on the parsha occurred to me.  And then I saw something in my learning, which worked well with that thought.  So, let's see how it goes.

In the beginning of this week's parsha, Yaakov meets and fights with Eisav's "guardian angel."  Rashi brings an opinion that the fight resulted with "dust being kicked up, that rose to the Heavens."

Anybody who has driven through a sandstorm or snowstorm knows the immense difficulty seeing what's around you.  And this epic battle, between Yaakov and Eisav, between the Jewish nation and that of Western Civilization, is being described in such a way.  Perhaps this hints towards the type of battle that we, as a nation, have found ourselves in over the past 150 years or so.

The Chofetz Chaim, amongst others, have commented that the times we are living in qualify as the "birthpangs of Moshiach."  While we never know when he will come, we do know that this period in world history is a time of "active labor."

From the time of the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash, until the Enlightenment, the Jewish people had gone from exile to exile, doing whatever they could to remain and grow as Jews.  However, around 150 years ago, things began to change.  Today, most Jews don't know what Judaism is.  It's worse, in fact.  Some Jews believe that Judaism is whatever the Democrats say.  And some Jews believe that Judaism is whatever the Republicans say.  Some make up their own "Judaism" to fit into their personal view of the world.  Some write their twisted views on their blogs.  Some on the radio.  Some in the (even religious) newspapers.  Some of these people are secular and some call themselves religious.  Whether secular or religious, there is an ever-growing amount of confusion on what exactly Hashem wants from us, both on a national and personal level.

When driving through a sandstorm, one must drive slowly and careful to get safely to his destination.  His focus cannot be on what's ahead a mile away or what's around him.   Rather the driver's attention is on the few feet ahead of him, and that's it.  Any distraction could lead to a tragic accident.

So, too, our spiritual attention, as hard as it is, must be focused on simply what's a few feet ahead of us at this moment.  While usually it is good to think long-term and to plan around, there are times when one simply cannot do so.

I saw in a sefer written by Rav Yaakov Meir Schechter, the following:

"Practically speaking, until a person knows, with G-d's help, exactly what his path is meant to be, he should follow the Mishna's simple advice: 'Whatever is harmonious with the person and elicits beauty from the person.' The Bartenura comments on this: 'It should be pleasant for him, and others should be pleased with him.  This is the middle way.'

"This is the lesson of our generation.  We live in a time of great darkness, both in society and in the individual.  Doubt and confusion accompany our every step, and few of us know exactly what to do.

"The answer is to act simply: pray, study Torah with fear of G-d, work to improve one's character, and fulfill the mitzvos.  A person must hold his ground and not become confused, and even if he does not yet recognize his place, or his unique G-d-given talents.  He should do those things that are obvious to him and, by fulfilling what he knows, the rest will become clear…."

The lesson is simple and clear.  When the fight between the Jewish nation and Eisav heats up, it's a time of great confusion, not just for the world, but for the Jewish people as well.  The only thing a person can do is shut out as many of those distractions from his life, and settle into learning, davening, and mitzvos, on a level that is most pleasant to him.

My wife went with a few women this week on a morning “hike”, just to get out.  She couldn’t help but contrast it with the ones that my friend Uri and I would do.  Her “hike” was a walking trail.  One woman brought muffins for everybody.  One brought a first-aid kid.  One brought pepper-spray (I kid you not).  They all brought plenty of water and emergency rations.  And even though it was on a trail… THEY STILL GOT LOST, because they spent the whole-time yacking with each other.

She compared it to our HIKES.  Where we were in the middle of the desert, climbing mountains, for seven hours at a time.  We’ve been to places where we were yelled at by professionals for being stupid enough to do by ourselves without safety equipment (they say ‘stupid’, we say… ‘yeah, okay, that was stupid’).  And all we needed was ONE bottle of water.  One box of Mike & Ikes. And ONE sandwich.  And gosh darn it, we were happy!

Another difference in the genders. And yes, gosh darn it… I don’t live in America, so I can say that!

“But he [Yaakov] said to him [Eisav], ‘My lord knows that the children are tender…’” (Bereishis 33:13).

After escaping Lavan, Yaakov finally returns to Eretz Yisroel, only to meet up with Eisav.  After much preparation, the two brothers meet in “friendship.”  Eisav offers himself and his troops to be an escort for Yaakov, his family and retinue, to which Yaakov respectfully declines saying that it will be difficult for the children and animals to move at any quick pace.  And why should Eisav take up so much of his important time to escort such a slow-going caravan?

A question was gnawing at me.  Animals?  Okay, I understand that.  You have sheep and goats, and they are not used to fast pace travel.  But what of the children?  Many of them were older already (older being in their early to mid-teens).  Today, travel doesn’t bother teenagers, all the more so back then, when teenagers were entrusted with far more responsibility.  Not only that, but they weren’t walking the whole time.  Yaakov was very wealthy.  Obviously, they rode on camels, donkeys, or horses, and most likely “in style.”  And finally, on their escape from Lavan, the Torah makes note of the impressive speed they travelled.  Now, Yaakov is worried about “the tender children”?

I gave thought to this as my wife was speaking to me about something she deemed important, whatever that was…

An idea that came to my mind is this.  As we know, Eisav represents the Yetzer Horah for the Jewish nation.  According to many commentaries, it was his “guiding angel” that Yaakov fights shortly beforehand.  Perhaps Yaakov was not speaking of the physical strain on his children, but rather the spiritual.  And his “children” are not literally “children,” but also his descendants.

The more time we spend in a spiritually poisoned atmosphere, the more it will have an effect on us.  Yaakov did not want to have Eisav around.  Period.  He knew that behind this “friendly and helpful” face lay somebody who is interested in Yaakov’s destruction, and the more time spent around such a “friend,” the weaker his “tender children” will be.

Another possible insight is how Yaakov was worried about the fast pace of Eisav.  This, I believe, is a sign of whether or not we, as individuals, are facing the Yetzer Horah.  The Yetzer Horah does not want you to think. He wants swiftness.  He wants action.  He does not want you to think about what you are doing.  I recently saw a suggestion to somebody who feels like he has an urge to do an avreira.  It was suggested not to say "no" to that urge.  Not to fight it.  Rather…simply say, “Okay, I’ll do it!... in another 30 minutes.”  And when that 30 minutes comes, there is a good chance that you will no longer have the urge, or the urge will be less, so … give it another 30 minutes.

Eisav would rather have you move to action quickly and without thought.

So, perhaps this is what Yaakov was referring to when he was speaking of his tender children.  He was not so much focused on his immediate family, but also us, his future descendants.

I’m an amazing husband.  Truly inspirational and dedicated to my wife.

For her birthday, my wife wanted me to rent a car and let her practice driving, since she has not had the opportunity to do so since we got married.  Naturally, I approved such a gift, if only to see her happy, smiling face.

I’m a terrible husband.  Truly thinking only about myself and not others.

For her birthday was a few weeks before Purim and I still did not get her that car.

So, facing an imminent divorce, this Sunday I took off the morning, rented a car, and presented it as a gift for my wife.  Thankfully, she came up with a great idea.  She’ll drive us to Chatzor where the famed Choni HaMagel is buried, followed by Mincha in Meron.  What better way to use one’s morning!

So, we got in the car, which, to my shame, she named “Little Pony”, and off we went.  I was “Goose” to her “Maverick” (two points to you if you got the reference… make that ten).  As she was driving, I was reading a sefer that I have about all the burial places and ancient synagogues of northern Israel.  The first interesting thing I learned, is that there were TWO Chonis, one for each of the famous stories.  The first Choni was the one who slept seventy years.  His grandson, was the one who drew a circle in the ground and davened to Hashem that he will not leave the circle until it rained (p.s. it rained after we davened there... your welcome) (this is according to Seder HaDoros)

The first Choni’s story is in Tannis (19a):

Rebbe Yochanan said: "This righteous man [Honi] was troubled throughout the whole of his life concerning the meaning of the verse, 'A Song of Ascents: When the Lord brought back those that returned to Zion, we were like dreamers' (Psalms 126:1). [Honi asked] Is it possible for seventy years to be like a dream? How could anyone sleep for seventy years?"

One day Honi was journeying on the road and he saw a man planting a carob tree. He asked, "How long does it take [for this tree] to bear fruit?" The man replied: "Seventy years." Honi then further asked him: "Are you certain that you will live another seventy years?" The man replied: "I found [already grown] carob trees in the world; as my forefathers planted those for me so I too plant these for my children."

Honi sat down to have a meal and sleep overcame him. As he slept a rocky formation enclosed upon him which hid him from sight and he slept for seventy years. When he awoke he saw a man gathering the fruit of the carob tree and Honi asked him, "Are you the man who planted the tree?" The man replied: "I am his grandson." Thereupon Honi exclaimed: "It is clear that I have slept for seventy years."

What an amazing lesson to be learned.  Not from Choni, but from the old man.  Many times, we work on things (spiritually speaking) and we don’t feel that we’re moving forward, or we are, but not at the rate that we were hoping to be.  It’s easy and understandable to feel depressed from such feelings.  But it’s important to know that all of our attempts at growth are not for naught.  I heard recently, that The Steipler Gaon once said that in this world a person is called a Talmid Chacham based on how much he knows.  But in the next world a person will be called a Talmid Chacham based on how much effort he put into his learning.

So too, our efforts will not go to waste.  Perhaps our children will have certain spiritual merits because of us.  Perhaps they will learn and be inspired from simply seeing our attempts.  Perhaps others will learn from us.

And even with all these “perhaps,” we can rest assured that CERTAINLY, we will be rewarded for all the honest attempts, even if we never see the results.

Have a great Shabbos!

Well, once again, El Al (Every Landing, Always Late) has decided to put the blame on the (religious) Jews.  El Al pilots, by being part of the flight after X amount of time, receive a nice "bonus’" for the "extra work."  It was part of their "negotiations" that they did a few years back.  That’s why El Al is ranked one of the worst airlines in terms of timetables.  (I got this confirmed with the son of one of the pilots.)  It seems, every so often, they put the blame on the “Ultra-Orthdox,” saying that passengers got violent, etc. They did it around six months ago, until both religious and secular passengers wrote publically that it was flat-out not true (but the damage was already done).  Now they were super-late again.  But this time it was on erev Shabbos (and it turns out I know somebody who was on the flight).  Without going into all the details, the captain and crew lied throughout the entire time.  For example, they promised that when everybody would sit down, they would return to the gate so the religious passengers could get off.  Once that was accomplished, they proceeded to take off.  They ended up having to land in Athens, and only thanks to somebody important on the plane and his ability to connect with the local Chabad, were they to have Shabbos.  After the fiasco, El Al blamed the lateness of the flight on the “Ultra-Orthodox,” who were “getting violent” and “tried to charge the cockpit.”  Their friends in the Israeli news even DOCTORED a video from the flight to make it look like that is what happened (they later offered an apology for the "technical failure").  Unfortunately for El Al, people have been talking and writing about the incident, including one Ultra-Orthodox reporter with big connections, and a National-Religious Knesset member, so word is finally getting out.  A class-action law suit will begin soon, and hopefully El Al will take the punishment it’s been deserving for such a long time.

On to more important things . . .

“[Yaakov said:] I have lived with Lavan” (Bereishis 32:5).

Rashi comments that the word “I have lived” (in Hebrew) has the numerical value of 613, as in, the amount of mitzvos in the Torah.  Yaakov was saying, “I lived with Lavan and kept the commandments, and I did not learn from his bad deeds.”

Rav Elchonon Wasserman, quotes his rebbe, the Chofetz Chaim, who said that Yaakov was actually finding fault in himself.  When Lavan did something improper, he did it with as much enthusiasm as possible.  He went all the way.  Similar to El Al and the Israeli news, nothing, even the truth, won’t stop Lavan (and friends) from getting what they want.

Yaakov thought that perhaps he SHOULD have learned something from Lavan.  Zeal!

The Chofetz Chaim used to say that today we need to learn from the enthusiasm and energy of the spiritual descendants of Lavan.  Just as they pursue their goals to the very end, with as much energy as possible, so too, should we pursue OUR goals with as much energy as possible.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

I received a supreme compliment this week. Over time, my tastes in food have changed obviously. I do admit to having a small addiction to sunflower seeds (very relaxing for some strange reason), and over the past two years I’ve grown to like schug (Yemenite Hot Pepper Dip) at the Shabbos table. Instead of buying it (which you can’t always do here), I make my own every three weeks or so. Lots of hot peppers, garlic, onion, etc. And it gets HOT. My kids, at the Shabbos table, would dare each other on how much they can eat without dying. Even my three-year-old demanded some, which I happily gave (boy did the tears run . . . and he wanted more).

This past week, my daughter had a friend over whose family is Yemenite. So, I gave her some to bring back to her father to try out. The next night, I saw him at shul, and he said, “YOU made that? WOW! You’re Ashkenazi! How can you possibly eat something so hot? It was REALLY good!”

You know you made it big when a Yemenite will go so far to compliment an Ashkenazi for his schug!

Okay, on to Torah!
“And Yaakov asked, and he said, ‘Please tell me your name,’ and he replied, ‘Why do you ask me my name?' and he blessed him there.” (Bereishis 32:30)

After Yaakov defeated the “archangel” of Eisav (aka the Yetzer Horah), he asked the angel for his name, and the angel replied, “Why do you ask me my name?”

It’s a bit strange. Why didn’t he answer Yaakov’s question?

Rav Yehudah Leib Chasman explains that this IS the name of the Yetzer Horah: “Don’t ask!”

Have you ever seen an argument which takes place on campus with Pro-Palestinian protesters? When you ask them simple questions such as, “Where were you guys before 1967? How do you explain Palestinian television and what they encourage? How many Arab doctors work in Israeli hospitals and how many Jewish doctors work in Palestinian hospitals?” do you know what they answer?

“FREE FREE PALESTINE FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA!”

And then you point out that they are encouraging the destruction of an entire country. So they respond with:

“FREE FREE PALESTINE FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA!”

At that point you hopefully just give up realizing that you are wasting your time with people who like trendy slogans, lots of yelling, lots of emotion, and little brain matter.

The Yetzer Horah works just the same way: Don’t ask such questions! Don’t think! Don’t look into things! The more a person delves into the Yetzer Horah and what he is trying to accomplish, the more that person will realize that he’s being manipulated to a very unhappy ending.

Educating oneself in anything is paramount for success in life. Whenever we meet up with the Yetzer Horah, we need to stop, think, and ask, “What’s going on and where am I going with this?” The more we stop to think, the more likely we are not to fall into his trap.

Have a great Shabbos!

Michael Winner

My wife told Rochel Leah a joke this week. “What happened to nine?” she asked. “Seven eight (ate) nine!” Rochel Leah, who’s usually quick with this, didn’t understand. So, my wife explained the joke. Again, she didn’t understand, and again my wife explained it. After a few minutes of going back and forth, Rochel Leah finally caught on and laughed. She then explained, “It just didn’t work when I was thinking about it in Hebrew.” Life with Israeli children ...
I listened to an insightful talk given by the Mosghiach of Toras Simcha, Rav Soloman, from several years ago.

He was flabbergasted by this week’s parsha (“retawded” was the word he used several times). Here you have Schem, who forcibly took Dina, Yaakov’s daughter, assaulted her, fell in love with her, locked her up, and then showed up with his father on Yaakov’s front door, asking permission to marry her.

I’m not a professional on marriage, but I would assume this is not a good way to start one off.

What bothered Rav Soloman so much was Schem’s attitude. Here you have a guy who just assaulted a woman, and he has the audacity to go to the woman’s house to discuss the idea of becoming the father’s future son-in-law. Can you get more obnoxious than that? And then what do Dina’s brother’s say? “Well … really, you are a great guy and everything seems nice … but you’re missing a bris milah. Fix that up and we’ll be more than happy to arrange everything.” And what happens? Schem believes them!

So, what’s going on here? Can you get any more “retawded” then this?

Rav Soloman said that the Torah does not bring stories of fools. Every person mentioned in the Torah has the possibility of being a star, whether for good or bad. So, what’s with Schem? Let’s take a look. A child DID result in the union of Schem and Dina. That daughter later grew up in Egypt and became Yosef’s wife. Yosef and his wife produced two of the twelve tribes, Ephraim and Menashe. So, one sixth of the Jewish nation started off with the blood of Schem flowing through their veins.

In truth, Schem knew he had a destiny with Yaakov. Perhaps it was only on a subconscious or spiritual level, but there was some greatness there that he was destined to share with the Jewish nation. He knew that somehow, he WAS a good guy on the inside and he WAS worth being Yaakov’s son-in-law… Okay! So, he made a mistake here and there, but doesn’t the stuff in the heart matter most? That was Schem’s thinking.

What he failed to realize is that while it is true he had this good in him and he was destined to help create the Jewish nation, a person’s “inner good” does not make a person whole. His ACTIONS form him and define him as well.

Often, when a person does a sin, they brush it off and say, “Yeah… but in reality, I’m a good person, who just slips here and there… it’s not the real me,” and then they continue on with life. But that’s not true. When a person sins, it’s because there IS something wrong with him. True, after we slip and fall spiritually, we are not to brood over it and become depressed, but neither are we to simply push it away. We need to recognize that we failed because we have a flaw that needs to be fixed.

While we all have great potential, we need to bring it out via action. To fool ourselves into thinking, “Yeah… but that’s not the real me,” is to make ourselves be like Schem. By honestly recognizing our faults, we can make concrete plans to seal up those personal cracks, and let our true potential shine.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Somebody just told me that the Palestinians have been upgraded in the United Nations.

“Oh… out of the 1500 rockets you launched, you were only able to kill five Joooos? Well, if we upgrade your status in the United Nations, it will bring you closer to statehood, and THEN you’ll be able to kill them more efficiently”.

I’ve been thinking about this issue a little bit, and I think I’ve come to the following conclusion: If you’re really upset that the Palestinians are constantly getting rewarded for attacking Israel… than the issue is with you. It’s a GIVEN that this is how the world works. It should no longer be a surprise to anybody that the United Nations would openly support terrorism of this brand. If you DO get upset, it’s possibly because you had this notion in your head that they actually like you, and the nations of the world like you. Once you acknowledge that they don’t, you won’t be bothered any more.
I saw a wonderful insight this week from Rav Shimshon Pincus.

We have the famous lesson from Yaakov this week, when he was coming back to Eretz Yisroel and Eisav was coming to meet him. He prepared himself in three ways: he davened, he sent gifts, and he prepared for battle. Many people like to quote this to show the need for everybody to join the army. However… this reading is not so simple.

Rav Pincus explains, “The need for davening? It is self-explanatory. As for battle, we are not the ones battling Eisav (me: you can probably call the U.N., “Eisav”); that is not our job. Even Yaakov himself did not actually battle Eisav in the end. Before he met Eisav, the angel said to Yaakov: ‘You have struggled with G-dly beings and with men, and you have prevailed.’ THE BATTLE IS REALLY FOUGHT IN HEAVEN; IT IS NOT OUR PROWESS THAT DETERMINES THE OUTCOME!

“The main issue we need to address is that of “sending gifts.” The purpose of gift-sending is to bring about reconciliation, to restore a positive tone to the relationship. There are a lot of details involved with this, but the basic principle, on the spiritual level, is yichud: being alone with Hashem….”

He continues to go into details on what exactly “being alone with Hashem is”, and concludes with the pasuk in Yeshuayahu (26:20) “Go, My people, and enter your rooms, and close your doors behind you. Hide for but a moment until the wrath passes.” What are these “rooms”? Answers Rashi: “The shul and the beis medresh”.

During times of danger, when Eisav is getting closer and closer, the answer is not to put faith in the Kipat HaBarzel (Iron Dome), but rather to follow the example of Yaakov: increase Tefillah, prepare for (the spiritual) battle, and increase gifts (to Hashem). Those gifts consist of becoming closer to Hashem. And how do we do that? To quote Rav Pincus, “We need to shut ourselves up in the beis medresh, and turn it into a place of yichud with Hashem. Shut the door! Put away all the distractions get rid of all the nonsense and things that don’t belong. Just be alone with the Torah, with Hashem… This means to be in a state of yichud with Hashem. And to know that all those other things, all those wordly interests, break the yichus. Even if they are not idol-worship, violence, or immorality, even if everything is halachically permitted, it still disrupts the yichud. Only Torah with nothing else mixed in – THAT is yichud. And when there is yichud, when we are alone with Hashem, then Hashem does His part: ‘Hashem will lift up His countenance toward you, and will establish peace for you.’”

Have a great Shabbos!

We all had a spook yesterday.

A week and a half ago, a few rockets were launched against the Galilee. Nothing big. Local “militia” from deep within Lebanon. One rocket landed 25 minutes from here. That was the closest one. Nothing major.

Yesterday morning, the IDF conducted a nation-wide air-raid siren test. Now, I didn’t know about it, nor did my wife who works in the news, nor did anybody in the kollel.

So, in the middle of learning, the air raid sirens go off. In Jerusalem, nobody thinks about it, since they’re not worried about rocket or missile attacks; however, up north it’s a different story altogether. The second they go off, a silence reigned in the kollel, everybody looking around to see if anybody knew if it was a test or for real. So, what better thing to do when under fire than to learn? So, we kept learning. Or at least attempted to. It was a very strange feeling, repeating over the same words, since for some strange reason you’re not concentrating 100%, instead, expecting to hear explosions any second.

My wife was at home on the phone with somebody in Jerusalem. When the sirens went off, she asked her friend if they were going off in Jerusalem as well (ours occurred an hourly earlier than theirs, it seems). “No”, was the answer, followed by silence. “Do you want to go and quickly check the news?” she asked my wife.

It was a very surreal experience.

On to Torah!
In this week’s parsha we see an interesting duality in Yaakov’s behaviour when he meets Eisav for the first time in many years. On one hand, he is constantly appeasing Eisav, sending him large gifts, calling him “my master”, asking for his “grace”, and speaking in the most respectful and humble tones. Yet, whenever Eisav asks to help Yaakov or to escort him or to give back his gifts, Yaakov goes all out to refuse Eisav.

Also, right before meeting Eisav, Yaakov gets into a fight with “a man”, who is identified as “Eisav’s angel”. When this angel touches Yaakov’s hip, he dislocates it, and the Torah continues and says it’s because of this, the Jewish people do not eat the sciatic nerve. I little interesting and difficult to understand, no?

Rav Pincus explains that when one is in contact or conversing with somebody who has no interest in changing his ways and doing teshuvah or recognizing the truth in the world; there are two general paths to take when dealing with him. The first is to argue and fight with that person to show your correct stance. The second is to befriend him and to attempt to show him in a nicer manner on why you are correct.

Rav Pincus says that both paths are incorrect. The first is for obvious reasons, it accomplishes nothing. Yet, by befriending such a person and drawing close to him, you’re putting yourself at risk of lowering your spiritual levels. From Yaakov we see, not only how to deal with such a person, but also how to deal with Eisav, the leader of today’s secular culture.

On one hand we must certainly be nice and act with derech eretz. We also must remember that we are in exile and that they are in charge. However, that’s as far as our interactions should go. The reason we are to stay away from the sciatic nerve, says Rav Pincus, is because Eisav touched it, and anything he touches has impurity to it, and the Jewish people needs to distance themselves from such things. This is why Yaakov was pushing Eisav away; he wanted nothing to do with him or his belongings.

Shortly before meeting Eisav’s angel, the Torah says, “and Yaakov was alone”. It is explained that this is when Yisroel is truly living, when he is alone. We see a similar concept when Bilam blessed the Jewish nation “… it is a nation that dwells alone” (Bamidbar 23:9). We are a nation that deals with Eisav when we HAVE to. However, our spiritual needs dictate that we live separate lives and those lives should be one of Torah, prayer, holiness, purity, etc…

And when Yaakov HAD to meet Eisav, what did he do? He prepared himself physically and spiritually. He didn’t go in embracing Eisav and accepting Eisav, he went after preparing himself for the spiritual onslaught. So too, should we be prepared when interacting with the secular world. We obviously must deal with it on some level every day, but we should at least be prepared and know what our priorities are in life.

Soon we will be celebrating Chanukah which embodies this concept. The Maccabees were not out for political independence from Greece, they were out to wipe out Greek culture that crept its way into Jewish life.

It’s a very scary question one should ask himself every year: if the war of the Maccabees were to be fought today, which side would we take? How entrenched is Eisav in our lives? Are we at least willing to separate those “Eisav aspects” from ourselves?

With those questions, I bid you a great Shabbos!