Weekly Dvar Torah
frum.org 5.1


Friday, June 14, 2013 / 6 Tamuz 5773
Burning the Cow
By: Michael Winner

I just saw the beginning of an editorial about the ongoing controversy with the Women of the Wall. It seems that the Knesset had a meeting of the Interior Committee. The head of the Women of the Wall came of course, to represent her group. She came dressed in a colorful tallis that she wears to the Kotel. The chairwoman ordered her to remove the tallis, since it was violating the norms of the Knesset, and that such provocations would not be tolerated. This prompted one of the religious ministers to think, “In the Knesset, it’s considered to be against the norms, is considered provocative and is not allowed; yet at the Kotel, the holiest place for the Jewish people… well, THERE, it’s okay?”

Logical?

Okay, on to Torah!


“This is the decree of the Torah,… and they shall take to you a completely red cow, which is without blemish… someone shall burn the cow before his eyes…a pure man shall gather the ash of the cow … for water of sprinkling; it is for purification” (Bamidbar 1-10)

This week’s parsha opens with the laws concerning the famous “red cow”, which is burnt and whose ashes are used to purify those who are impure. This is what the Torah describes as a “chok”, a law with no logical purpose that we can understand.

However, like everything, it is something we can learn from.

This ‘red cow’ is the representation of physical “delights”, or “gashmiyus”. It’s not simply the physical world, but it’s the enjoyment we get from the physical world. This concept is not so new. One of the ways we can tell how affluent a country is, is by their yearly meat consumption.

The more we imbibe in this gashmiyus, the more our personal “red cow” grows. The fatter it becomes, the farther we move from Hashem, as it says, “But Jeshurun (the Jewish nation) grew fat, and kicked. You have grown fat.” (Devarim 32:15)

What is the answer to this problem? Just as we burn the red cow and use it’s ashes to purify us, so do we need to take this ‘cow’ of ours and burn it to ashes.

Let’s take cell phones, for example, since they are such easy targets. I have no idea what it’s like in America, however, judging from what I see here, it must be REALLY bad over there.

Here we have a cell phone. A very useful piece of technology. It allows us to constantly be in contact with anybody around the world. When used properly, it can make one’s life much easier. However, there’s a flip-side. Along with the phone, comes unlimited internet access, games, movies, music, and who knows what else. I don’t think one can argue about the negative influences these things have had. Wherever I walk, people are staring into their phones in a mind-numbing sort of way. Parents take their children to the park, let them run wild, while the parent flips around in their phone. Drivers are busy texting. Couples are sitting together on park benches staring into their phones, without one word of communication between them. I need not go on.

Thankfully, the religious world in Israel caught on to this pretty quickly. For years we’ve had “kosher phones”, which… I know this might surprise you… only make and receive phone calls.

A shock, no?

No movies, no internet, no games, no nothing (outside a calculator and a few gadgets like that). The technology is made in a way, that you cannot use other SIM cards these phones, and the kosher phones all have special prefixes, so you know who has one and who doesn’t. On top of that, it’s enforced. You want your kid in an ultra-Orthodox school? That means you can only have kosher phones in your house.

Personally, I think this is one of the best rules that have come out in a long time.

For years, I was living in a religious community, where I KNEW the dangers of phones and internet, but I didn’t SEE it. Then, I moved here and I saw it all firsthand. While the secular kids are out in the park with drooling over their phones, the religious ones are in the shul doing “extra-curricular” learning or out playing and interacting with other children. Religious couples actually talk to each other face-to-face and not via Facebook to Facebook. Cell phone owners are operating their phones most of their day, destroying productivity of whatever they were doing. The religious community operates their phones when they need to make a call, and that’s that. Yes, it’s a tad harder not to have the world at your fingertips when everybody else does, but at least you remain a thinking human being.

So, in the case of cell phones, it’s easy to see how to “burn the cow”. The dangers involved and what it turns you into are enough that a logically-thinking human being can see them and understand that this particular cow needs to stay nice and trim.

So too with all other forms of gashmiyus. We need to weigh carefully what we need and what we don’t need. Then we need to take what we don’t need and mentally burn it up. Not only do we not NEED it, but we also don’t WANT it. When we separate ourselves from that level of gashmiyus, we can approach Hashem at a whole new level.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!
Friday, June 07, 2013 / 29 Sivan 5773
Perfecting Ourselves
By: Michael Winner

Sometimes you hear news and you feel that there is very little you can do to help. Especially in the area of medicine. It’s scary. Hearing one new case after another; of this person suffering from this illness and that person suffering from that illness. The only thing that WE can do to make a difference is to learn and to do mitzvos in the merit of these people.

There are two people I know who can use the help right now.

One is the daughter of a friend of mine who has donated free web hosting for Frum.org on his servers. His four year old daughter has been battling cancer for around two and a half years now. Her current fight is with a tumor behind her eye.

Another is somebody I’ve known for 20 years. He’s a young father and husband, involved with outreach, who is fighting his own uphill cancer battle.

So, what can people like us do to help?

I gave some thought to the matter. One thing I’ve been more aware of is the bracha of good health that most of us do enjoy and take for granted. Every day, after we use the washroom, we say a special bracha thanking Hashem for making our bodies work properly. Therefore, I would like to request that everybody download and print a copy of the bracha, which can be found here - http://eng.asheryatzar.com/resources/21-AY-English-Ashkenaz.pdf. It contains the Hebrew and English translations. Then, you can right down the following two names on the poster:

Dafna Yael bas Rivka & Yosef ben Rus

Afterwards, you can tape it to the wall next to your washroom, and say the bracha in the merit of their recovery.

Okay, on to Torah!



“… of these sinners against their own souls” (Bamidbar 17:3)

Rav Shach explained how Korach and Company sinned against THEIR souls, rather than simply against Hashem. As part of his explanation, he quoted the Vilna Gaon who said that a person’s primary reason for coming into this world is to perfect his character. Therefore, if he neglects to do so, he might as well not be alive.

Once, a yeshivah student came to speak to Rav Shach about a problem he was having. When he arrived, he found Rav Shach in the middle of a meeting with several other important rabbeim. He decided to sit outside the room and wait until the meeting came to an end. In the meantime, Rav Chaim Friedlander walked in. After undergoing another round of chemotherapy, he looked terrible, nonetheless, he started speaking to the student, and the student told him why he came to see Rav Shach.

He listened to the student’s problem and was about to offer his opinion when Rav Shach learned he was there and invited him in. The student saw Rav Friedlander speak to Rav Shach and the other rabbeim, who then all burst out in tears. Rav Shach said something to Rav Friedlander and Rav Friedlander turned around and left.

Only afterwards, did this student learn that Rav Friedlander came to speak to Rav Shach, because he just found out that the doctors gave him only two weeks to live. He came to ask Rav Shach what character trait he should work on over the next two weeks.

Life is about pushing ourselves to the limits. The secular world does it by external means. Whether via scientific or medical discoveries, doing ‘daredevil’ acts, seeing how long they can stare at their iPhone without noticing the world around them…. But we? We push ourselves internally, by working on our character traits and developing into bnei Torah.

Have a great Shabbos!
Friday, May 31, 2013 / 22 Sivan 5773
Learning our lesson
By: Michael Winner

As you probably know, the Women of The Wall have been making more noise about their rights to daven at the Kotel in tallasim, tefillin, Torah reading, etc… In response (I believe to a recent court decision; I haven’t kept up with the news, just heard about it), the religious community, from across the spectrum, responded with a protest at the Kotel. Thousands of religious women showed up to show their disdain for this breach of Halacha and the ‘slap in the face’ of the Torah world.

I received a copy of a letter coming from the former head of the reform movement, concerning his take on events. One line stuck out. He praised the religious community for having the women come to the event, saying, “First, the 6,000 Haredi girls sent to participate in the demonstration have received an education that is sure to open their eyes to new Jewish possibilities”. Being, by seeing other women do these things, their minds will be broadened and perhaps they too will be affected.

It is ironic that I should see this essay on this particular week.

Last Shabbos, my wife was walking with the children and they passed a reform ‘temple’ (we have a few in Israel), as the temple was letting out. Rochel Leah and Chaim started to snicker to themselves and whispered to my wife, “Look Mommy… she’s wearing a kippah… isn’t that funny?”

Now, we don’t discuss reform, conservative, etc, with our children, since there is no need to. We’ve discussed religious and non-religious, but that’s really it. They can understand that a person keeps Shabbos or doesn’t keep Shabbos, but it’s completely foreign to them that something so straight forward, should be corrupted so much. They snickered, not because they have some hatred or disdain for Reform, but rather because it’s simply inconceivable to them that a woman would wear men’s clothing. It’s as simple as that. Being so, I highly doubt the religious women at the Kotel received much of an enlightening education. And I continue to daven that there should be some things in life that remain black and white to my children.

Okay, on to Torah!

“Why was the passage of the spies placed next to the passage of Miriam? For she was stricken over the matters of speech which she spoke against her brother, and these wicked ones (the spies), saw what happened to her, and yet did not learn from that lesson” (Rashi, Bamidbar 13:1)

Every Tuesday, one of the two heads of the kollel and the chief rabbi of the city, take turns in speaking to the kollel about different areas of personal improvement. This past week, the chief rabbi of the city/rav of the shul spoke. He started off with the above Rashi, and followed up with the following piece of Shaarei Tshuva (Gates of Repentance) (I:6):

“Hear this with understanding, for it is a great principle: It is true that some of the righteous sometimes fall into sin, as it is said, ‘For there is not a righteous man upon earth that does good and not sin’ (Koheles 7:20). However, they subdue the evil inclination a hundred times, and if they have succumbed to a sin once, they do not repeat it, for they became loathsome in their own eyes and repent. But, if one does not take care to avoid a known sin and does not take it upon himself to protect himself against it, then, though it may be one of the lesser transgressions, and although he may take care to avoid all the other transgressions of the Torah, the Sages refer to him as an ‘apostate in respect to one thing’. He is numbered with the offenders and his transgression I too great to forgive.”

Simply put, if a person would be super-duper religious in all aspects in life, and there is one thing where he is not, and somebody shows him where he is wrong, and that individual refuses to even attempt to change his ways, then he is considered to have a “transgression too great to forgive”.

Pretty scary, no?

Because the spies, who were undoubtedly on a high spiritual level, yet did not learn the lesson from Miriam, the entire nation was punished for forty additional years in desert.

They failed to learn from ONE LESSON, and look at what happened!

The rav continued and said that today, the religious world in Israel is being threatened with ‘economic sanctions’ if we do not hand over our education system to the government. We can start saying Tehillim after davening, we can start doing this and that, as a group, but in the end, the only thing that will turn this decree around is that every individual takes it upon himself to constantly and actively improve himself. It’s only through REAL change that a person makes in life, whether it be to show up to davening on time, using one’s learning time properly, helping one’s spouse, improving the spiritual quality of the Shabbos table, etc… With taking ALL aspects in our life seriously, we can overcome the harshest of decrees.

Have a great Shabbos!
Friday, May 24, 2013 / 15 Sivan 5773
Hashem Will Share Our Burden
By: Michael Winner



“According to the word of Hashem would the Children of Israel journey, and according to the word of Hashem would they encamp” (Bamidbar 9:18)

My Rosh Yeshiva would often use this pasuk in relationship with Hashem’s “hand” in this world. When we “set up camp” according to Hashem, we will always have his guidance. When we follow halacha and push ourselves to grow, Hashem protects us from any fallout.

Rav Zilberstein recalls a story of an eighth-grader who was secular, but was growing in his Judaism. His mother, who originally came from a religious home, was happy, but his father, who was anti-religious, was not. For a long time, the boy would sneak to the local kollel after school and had excuses ready for his father when he went to daven.

Finally, the father found out that his son was becoming religious and became furious. His main targets of his anger were the members of the kollel, who had the audacity to teach his son Torah and help him grow. The father, a prominent figure in the city, promised to use his power to shut down the kollel. The members of the kollel went to Rav Zilberstein for advice. After giving practical advice on how to handle the situation, he added, “You should not be afraid that the father will destroy your place of learning, because Hashem has already given us His promise, ‘and My words that I have placed in your mouth shall not be withdrawn from your mouth’ (Yeshayah 59:21)’”

As we know, there are two people who hold high government positions, looking to tear down Torah education. They hide their intentions with slogans such as “sharing the burden” (in reference to forcing the religious to join the army… of course, one of those politicians worked in the army newspaper for his ‘duty’… really ‘sharing the burden’ there…), and declaring that they are “only trying to help the religious get jobs” and stop them from burdening society. (Currently, a kollel member receives $200 a month as a stipend from the government. Rent can be approximately $650-$700 a month. And unlike university students and governmental employees, the kollel system has surprise visits from government officials who take attendance…. just to put things in perspective.) There is one thing that the religious Zionists/ ultra-Orthodox world agree on politically at this point in time: both of these politicians are out to tear down the Torah camp in Israel, despite their declarations to the contrary.

Despite all the tumalt that they cause, I have no doubt that as long as there is a high percentage of the Torah world working in Torah (“professionally” in kollel, or on their time off from work), people like this will only fall to the wayside as they have in the path. As long as we set up out camp according to Hashem’s word, “My words that I have placed in your mouth shall not be withdrawn”.

Have a great Shabbos!

Friday, May 17, 2013 / 8 Sivan 5773
Children in Shul
By: Michael Winner

My Rosh Yeshivah spoke this week about how parents receive “Yiddisha Nachas” and “Goyisha Nachas”. When parents put their main pride into their children’s educational accomplishments or professional accomplishments; that’s “Goyisha nachas”. When their main “nachas” is Torah based, it’s “Yiddisha Nachas”.

This week, we had Yiddisha Nachas.

On Shabbos, at the park, a woman was handing out small booklets, each containing five different chapters of Tehillim (Psalms), so if every woman took one, they could complete the entire book together. Naturally my wife took one, and Rochel Leah, after learning what it was, asked if she could have as well. The woman smiled and asked my wife if Rochel Leah was capable. My wife said ‘yes’ and Rochel Leah got to work. She finished everything that she was given and handed back the booklet to the surprised woman, who heaped praises upon my daughter for such an accomplishment for a first-grader.

Happy are we.

“At the entrance of the Mishkan, the Nazir shall shave his head” (Bamidbar 6:18)

In the times of the Beis HaMikdash, one was able to become a Nazir, who amongst other things, refrained from wine, did not cut his hair, and was extra careful in keeping the laws of purity. It was all done to achieve a higher spiritual level. At the end of such a period (he would take it on for a month, for example), he would have to shave his head. Rashi notes that the shaving of the head was done at the ENTERANCE of the Mishkan, but not actually inside it. Why? Because it’s disrespectful to the Mishkan.

From here, says Rav Zilberstein, we learn that doing something disgraceful in a sanctified place, even if it’s a mitzvah, is forbidden by the Torah. From here we can learn certain rules about how we treat our shuls.

Rav Zilberstein noted on the side, that sfardim are very dedicated to the sanctity of their shuls. So much so, even those sfardim, teenagers, who have left Torah, will still always treat the shul with respect. I remember seeing this with my own eyes when living in Yerushaliyim. We lived on a street with a few… well, let’s just say, not the highest caliber of people, who were sfardim. One particular boy always stood out as the head of the pack. Yet, even he, when he would once in a while step into the shul, was a different person.

Rav Zilberstein continues and talks about children in shul. He said that many people incorrectly think that Shabbos is a day when the wife can be “off duty” and the husband can be “on duty” during davening hours. After all, she HAS been with the children all week, she could use the morning off! The husband, who agrees with his wife, then takes all his children to shul with him, where they run around outside, in the halls, in the shul itself, etc…

Now, because I know this is an emotional issue for some parents, I’ll simply quote the rav:

“But what about those children who can behave properly in shul, even at a very young age? We need to understand one thing: Even if a father manages to remain in control of his child, and sees to it that he sits quietly throughout the prayers, his ‘success’ is only in the short term.

The parents may be very surprised to see that when the child gets older, and the father no longer has the ability to control his behavior, the child will not be very inclined to sit quietly in shul. The parents will wonder why their son has lost interest in going to shul, and they will reprimand him for his lack of attendance. They will have no idea that they themselves caused his aversion to going to shul by making him sit in shul quietly at the age of two.

“This is so obvious and simple that I cannot understand why people persist in bringing their young children to shul….

“I am not saying that it is forbidden to bring a three or four year old child to shul EVER. It is a wonderful idea to bring them for the last 10 minutes of davening, so that they can see what davening in shul looks like… during these brief moments, the child will be so fascinated by what he hears and sees that he will not have the urge to run around or make noise…”

Outside of the child’s education, you also have the issue of OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO DAVEN. Every time the child is running in or out, it disturbs other people. To me, that’s “so obvious and simple that I cannot understand why people persist in bring their young children to shul”.

I remember once in Chicago, we were having increasing difficulties with this issue in our shul. I asked and received permission from the rav to put up a humourous sign asking people to at least keep control over their children if they feel a need to bring them. I couldn’t believe the backlash I received. At that time, we were renting space from another shul, and even members from THAT shul, were “insulted”. Somebody my age approached me and gave me the “You Don’t Know What It’s Like To Have Children” lecture, since he had two young children, and I wasn’t married. I held my tongue from giving him the “But I Know What It’s Like To Try To Daven Next To Your Two Children While They’re Making Noise” speech.

However… I am happy to say, that I am a father of four children. And they don’t step foot in shul or near the shul when we daven. On Shabbos days when my four and a half year old behalves well, he gets the HONOUR of going to shul with me in the afternoon to learn together for 7 minutes (his attention span). What’s the result? Instead of treating the shul like a jungle gym, my children have a reverence for it.

Is it easy for the wife? No. But the husband can make it up in different ways. He can daven the earlier minyan and “relieve” his wife when he comes home. He can take the children out in the afternoon, and let her nap. There are many different ideas that can help the wife and maintain the integrity of our children’s’ education and the sanctity of our shuls.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!
Friday, May 10, 2013 / 1 Sivan 5773
Private Time with the Torah
By: Michael Winner

On Lag B’Omer, the community had a bonfire at the local boys school. The rav came and spoke, which was followed by music and dancing. At one point, one of the teachers brought out a “person” and threw it in the fire. I’m not sure if that person represented Haman (for whatever reason), Amalek, Yaeir Lapid… or if it was just for fun.

However, after 10 minutes of burning, we (those of non-Israeli persuasion) realized something was amiss. Everything burnt away, with the exception of the “t” shaped blanks of wood. So, here you have evil, woman-hating, flag-burning, tax-evading, draft-dodging, Ultra-Orthodox Jews dancing around a cross… which is still burning.

One of the teacher’s wives, recognizing what was happening, frantically got on the phone with her husband, telling him to at least break the cross down. It certainly wouldn’t look good if the media got a photo of it. :)

Okay, on to Torah!

“And Hashem spoke to Moshe in the Sinai Desert” (Bamidbar 1:1)

The air of Eretz Yisroel is known to “make people wise” (Bava Basra 158b). It is in Eretz Yisroel, where a Jew can maximize his spiritual gains and grow in ways that he could never do outside of the Land. However, we see that Hashem gave the Torah OUTSIDE of Eretz Yisroel, forty years before bringing us in. Would it not have made more sense to give us the Torah INSIDE of Eretz Yisroel where it would have made a bigger “dent” in our souls?

Rav Shimshon Pincus explains that in order to properly acquire the Torah, one must be able to focus on his learning without any distractions. He needs to have time for himself and his Torah. In the desert, there was nothing. We received everything we needed directly from Hashem. There was no need to work or for any other distraction. It was the largest kollel system known to date. Had we gone into Eretz Yisroel, we would have received the Torah there and gone off immediately to work in the fields to support ourselves. Where would the acquisition of Torah come from with such distractions?

When a couple gets married, straight after the chuppah, they go into the cheder hayichud, a room where they can have some private time, before returning to the wedding celebrations. Similarly, during their first week of marriage, they are given the week “off” for some private time.

This is why the Torah was given in the desert before entering Eretz Yisroel. Before entering Eretz Yisroel and being involved in the day-to-day life as a farmer or whatever occupation they might choose, the Jewish nation was given “private time” to spend with the Torah, in order to make a proper acquisition.

What’s the day-to-day lesson from this? Well, one of many is probably how we approach our learning. When we sit down to learn every day, it’s our private time with the Torah. Cell phones should be turned off and other distractions put away. No couple wants to be disturbed by others within their first week of marriage; the Torah doesn’t like it as well.

I remember last year, the kollel made a “no cell phones” rule. I went to the Rosh Kollel and asked him what about our wives? What if they need to get a hold of us? (Remember, this is in Hebrew and he doesn’t speak a word of English). He answered that it’s not a problem, because the kollel has a “beefer” which one kollel member will keep with him in case your wife needs to contact you. I gave him a blank look and asked, “What’s a ‘beefer’?” He gave me a strange look in return, “A beefer? You don’t know what a beefer is? It’s a little box that goes, ‘beef, beef, beef’”. At that point it hit me…. a beeper.

Have a wonderful Shabbos and an inspirational Shavous!
Friday, April 26, 2013 / 16 Iyar 5773
Seeking a Spiritual Base
By: Michael Winner

One of the joys of living only 25 minutes away from Meron, the burial site of Rebbe Shimon bar Yochai, is that on the Shabbos right before Lag B’Omer, you realize how many friends you have in this world, as everybody calls you up asking if you “want” to have guests for Shabbos. It drives us a little crazy, especially when we receive calls from people, who know people, who know us. Thankfully, we were “reserved” a week beforehand by a couple who we are friends with. He lives in Jerusalem and we’ve been learning every morning on the phone for 5-10 minutes for years. Unfortunately, they have hit some hard times and were told to go to Meron on Lag B’Omer and daven there. So, thankfully, it’s not just a “fun time”, but rather helping people out.

Okay, on to Torah!

“He (the Kohen Gadol) shall not leave the Sanctuary” (Vayikra 21:12)

The Talmud (Brachos 29a) relates that Yochanan HaKohen Gadol served as the Kohen Gadol for 80 years, until he became a Sadducee (group of heretics). The Talmud (Yoma 38b) states that a person who has lived the majority of his life without sinning will sin no more.

Now we seemingly have a contradiction. If Yochanan served as the Kohen Gadol, the highest position (spiritually speaking) a person can serve, for a clear majority of his life; how did he end up becoming a Sedducee?

Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein answers with an analogy:

“Although there are vaccines and vitamins that can prevent a person from becoming ill, when an epidemic strikes and dangerous germs fill the air, even the healthiest individuals and those with the greatest immunity can be infected. The same is true for spiritual maladies. When strong winds of heresy fill the air, as they did in the days of Yochanan Kohen Gadol, even he was not immune.

”In our times, when dangerous spiritual diseases are rampant in the streets, the only way to remain immune is to stay within the walls of the beis medresh/shuls/yeshivas, as much as we can. When we wander outside needlessly, we expose ourselves to these spiritual hazards.”

From here we see the important lesson of spending as much times as possible in places with ENCOURAGE spirituality, than in places that do not (including “neutral” ground), and that we should never rely on our own strength against the yetzer horah.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!







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