If anybody wishes to contact me, right now via the website is not the best place, since it doesn't collect your email address. You can simply write to this address. And Yonaton... you're welcome!
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I feel that over the past year, practically every three days, there's something new to report. It's hard to keep up.
We went into Rosh Hashana with a 181 Ballistic Missile Salute from Iran. The closest target for us was 20 km away, so we got to watch a lot of the attack from our homes, not having to stay in our "safe hallway." It was an amazing show to watch. And in the end, how many did they kill? One Palestinian. And for those who saw the clip on how he got killed … well, Hashem was VERY specific on that one. We also learn, when crossing the streets in Israel, it's very important to first look left, then right, then up.
Then we welcomed Rosh Hashana itself with an attack. One on the first day, one on the second, and two on Shabbos (zachor v'shamor?). Since then, our town has had daily or twice-daily attacks (we've had two today and it's not yet 1pm), including direct hits and damage from the intercepts. We have around 15 seconds from the siren beginning to getting to a safe(r) space. It makes life exciting, and between you and me, there's something about being part of things rather than watching from the sidelines. However, not everybody likes that, and many families have moved in with other family members closer to the center of the country. In response to that, my 14-year-old daughter and I want to raise a Jolly Rogers flag over our home.
What's really strange is, unless you've gone through it, you have no clue what it's like. Even friends of ours in Yerushaliyim are "out of it" a little, not comprehending this type of life now. Obviously, it's not combat, nowhere close to it. It's not like we are living in shelters all day or getting attacked by anti-tank missiles. Yet, it IS real and you really need to plan on where to go and move when the sirens run.
My wife, being holy and stuff, said that we need to do something more about these attacks. What we witnessed with our own eyes, for the second time in a year, was a complete miracle. Two major Iranian attacks. Not one Jewish hair was touched! And even now, we witness with our own eyes, attacks around us and on us, on a daily basis, and still … the Iron Dome is functioning with unbelievable accuracy, and even when it doesn't, the casualty rates are incredibly low. Even my very non-religious neighbor (who worked in the defense industry and still has connections to it) said to me, "Statistically speaking, what we have been witnessing is impossible." So, we made up a new rule in the family. Every time we are attacked (and when we see one close by), each member of the family will say "Mizmor l'Todah" (Tehillim 100), thanking Hashem for His kindness.
Of course, my 16-year-old complained, "If we do that, then Hashem might protect us more and we won't have any attacks! I still want to be part of some 'action'!"
As a man, I understand him completely.
So, the next day, Hashem "rewarded" my son with a 26-rocket barrage right over our heads.
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The past year, for the entire Jewish world, has been a tough one. It's been hard to focus on spiritual growth, because everybody is in "yellow alert" mode on a constant basis, both in Eretz Yisroel and in America/Europe. For us personally, the past month has been especially taxing, mentally and physically. So, many of us are going into Rosh Hashana/Yom Kippur not prepared. Who's had the time or the headspace?
Over the fast on Sunday, I was listening to a talk delivered by my Rosh Yeshivah several years ago. He said something which my immediate reaction was one of annoyance. He said that "we are all victims." I never liked the word "victim," and I think people love to use it to justify anything, especially their own weaknesses that they do not want to confront. However, when he spoke these words many years ago, it was before victimhood became a real thing.
He explained that Hashem put us all into this world, in this particular time, with these particular situations. He compared it to a father bathing his teenager son, putting on all sorts of perfumes, dressing him in the flashiest clothes, giving him tons of money, and dropping him off in the "red-light" district. And to nobody's surprise, he ends up sinning.
At the same time, we have to understand that each of us was put in this world to succeed. If each one of us did not have the possibility of success, He would not have sent us here in the first place.
When Hashem created man, he created a Neshama and a horse. Each Neshama would receive their own personal horse to use in order to get around in this world and to do mitzvos with it. Originally, this horse was a separate entity. The Neshama told the horse what to do and the horse did it. And if the horse had different desires, too bad for the horse! However, when Adam ate from the Tree of Knowledge, the Neshama and the horse became bonded together even more. Desires became mixed up, and it became a lot less clear what the horse wanted and what the Neshama wanted. And that's how things became difficult for mankind.
If we can go into Yom Kippur, we can actually plead "guilty by association." We can say, "I don't want to do this and that. I don't want to have these types of thoughts. I want to grow in a certain way and direction. But my horse simply won't listen!" If we, our Neshama, can at least recognize that there is a difference between what's right (Torah and Mitzvos) and what's wrong (sin), even if we are still steeped in sin, we are still showing "The Court" that we are really good people who still desire to do what's right, despite having to carry a horse on our backs. And even if we continue to do the same sins over and over again, if we continue to feel pained by it, eventually the horse itself will feel the pain and will move away from the sin.
He quoted the Chofetz Chaim who said that he knows that even after people will learn his sefer on loshon horah, they will continue to speak loshon horah. However, at least now they will understand how bad it is, and when they do speak loshon horah, they will feel bad about it. And THAT, will lessen the actual sin.
The Rosh Yeshiva suggested that each person takes out some time before Yom Kippur to write a list of things that they wish to rid themselves of, yet are having trouble doing so. And then, on Yom Kippur itself, right before Vidui, say all the things that you (or your horse) is doing wrong, and say, "This is a sin. My Neshama doesn't want it. I have an addiction to it. I want to get rid of the sin. I want to get rid of the guilt…" And with this, you have the merit to ask for forgiveness, even knowing that you are still addicted to such things and will most likely repeat them.
Even on that level, there is a point of teshuva, which could carry a person through Yom Kippur.
With that, I hope that we all use the next few days to try to drum up some strength to do teshuva in some way, and that Yom Kippur should seal a successful year for each one of us and for the Jewish nation as a whole.