Vayeira: Being Their for Your Children

Unlike other places, it's been quieter for us for nearly two weeks.  Being, we hear and see other attacks (including a suicide drone … that made a bang!), but regarding being directly attacked, it happened only once in this period.  When it did happen a few days ago, it had consisted of fifty rockets fired at us, aiming at, according to Hezbollah, the paratrooper training base, which nobody here seems to know about, including the paratroopers who are not here.  Unfortunately, there was one direct hit on a nine-floor building.  Fortunately, it didn't explode.

Our town has had several direct hits (and surprisingly, several didn't explode), around 150-200 intercepts (which can still cause death and damage) and thank G-d, nobody has been killed or severely wounded.  

Right next to us is an Arab village, which has also taken a few hits themselves, with several wounded, and two killed.

It makes you appreciate all the miracles that occur here every day.

However, it is still causing some concern with the children.  One of their friends who lives across the street had a table that was in their garden destroyed from a piece of rocket.  Several other friends also have pieces that have landed on their property. And now my kids are davening for a "souvenir."  As a man, I can identify with such a desire … as long as it doesn't destroy anything.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: Hezbollah has been filling their rockets with ball bearings to maximize damage, even if they are intercepted.  My son came home with a few that his friend gave him from "his rocket".  So, it's not a piece of the rocket itself, but it's still our little piece to remember Hezbollah :)

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One of the questions that has always bothered me about this week's parsha is regarding Lot and his daughters.

When Sodom was destroyed, Lot and his daughters went to live in Zo'ar, a smaller city nearby.  Fearing the same thing was going to occur to Zo'ar, they run away and move to a cave in the nearby mountains.  In the cave, "The elder [daughter] said to the younger, "our father is old and there is not a man on earth to come to us in the way of all the earth."  Being, it seems, that the daughters were worried that there was nobody left on earth for them to marry and they thought that the only way for mankind to continue was going to be through them and their father.

Now, this raised a couple of questions in my head:

1)      Why didn't you go outside and start searching?

2)      You knew Avraham, your uncle, and his greatness.  Certainly, he survived, no?

So, why did they choose this route from the outset?  It's not the most natural solution to think of.

The Sforno gives us some insight.  He notices the first thing the oldest daughter said, "Our father is old."  According to the Sforno, the daughters knew that there were other people out there and this was not some global catastrophe.  However, they thought that the entire area, perhaps more than what was really destroyed, was destroyed.  And while perhaps it is easier to find one's spouse in one's own locale due to having the same cultural upbringing, it's much more difficult to do so, when having to travel far away and to deal with other cultures.  All the more so if one's father, who is responsible for finding his daughters a spouse, is old!

Therefore, the daughters, realizing that they are not going to marry and carry on their father's line, decided to take such a drastic step.

With this Sforno in mind, a thought came up in my head.  Right or wrong, I have no idea, but I'll share it anyway.  It's a lesson in parenting coming from the guy who has no idea how to parent (I leave it to my wiser wife).

One of the most important things that a child needs to have in life is the knowledge that their parents are always there for them and are willing to go all the way for them.  When an issue arises, children want to see that their parents are trying their best to take care of them.  So even if the parents are ultimately not successful in solving the issue, the children know, "at least they tried."

However, when children see, or even feel, that their parents either don't care so much, or are unable or unwilling to take care of them, ultimately they will come to make drastic, and often incorrect, decisions in their lives.

According to the Sforno, Lot's daughters feared that their father was unable to put in "his 100%," and with those feelings, they followed up with their decision.

So perhaps that is the lesson here.  Whether a person is successful or not helping out their children, the most important thing is that their children know that their parents are always there for them.

With that, I wish you a wonderfully quiet Shabbos.